Usair320 From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 991 posts, RR: 2 Posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 3 days 7 hours ago) and read 6267 times:
Mine was New years day of 2004 Flying FCO-PHL in a US A330(N670UW). There was one Asian F/A who could not have been taller than 5 foot . When still at the gate in FCO when he was closing the Overhead Lockers he would have to run and jump just to close it. It was quite a site! Now lets here yours.
JetMech From Australia, joined Mar 2006, 2617 posts, RR: 53 Reply 2, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 6244 times:
Erm.... dunno if this counts. We had an inbound aircraft with a defect in the cabin log along the lines;
DEFECT: No Personal Computer (P.C.) power available on
any of the seats.
RECTIFICATION: P.C. power master switch turned on.
The master switch on the pursers control panel was in the off position. Not really funny, but it did raise a chuckle amongst us AME's. Another one is when we get a defect along the lines that the indicator lamp for the switch that controls the overhead work area illumination light is not working. In other words, the switch that operates the overhead work-light itself has an indicator lamp to tell you that the overhead light is on! Apparently some people don't know the overhead light is on unless the indicator lamp tells them .
JetMech split the back of his pants. He can feel the wind in his hair.
DAL7e7 From United States of America, joined Jun 2004, 357 posts, RR: 4 Reply 3, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 6148 times:
We were flying TLH-ATL-LAX-OGG and on the ATL-LAX segment I think it was, the seatbelt sign was on for some reason. Well, we have the DL Nazi of F/A's, and Mom has to...ahem, anyways, mom proceeds to unbuckle her seatbelt. Just as her rear left the cushion, the 60-year-old F/A screams from 20 rows up (763) "SIT DOWN! THE SEATBELT SIGN IS ON!!!!!"
Not sure if that was really funny, but I got a chuckle out of it
DAL7e7 is wondering... Do pilots take crash courses?
EWRandMDW From United States of America, joined Jul 2006, 396 posts, RR: 0 Reply 5, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 7 hours ago) and read 6079 times:
This happened in late May. I was on the last Delta Connection flight of the day from ATL to MDW. Our plane, a CRJ700, was completely full. A woman in her late 50s was flying back to Chicago with two grandsons. The boys, I guess about 6 and 9 years old, were sitting behind me and she was across the aisle from me. The kids were acting up and she was trying to control them, but it was a losing battle. After takeoff, when the FAs came around to take drink orders, this woman asked for 4 bottles of wine and a beer. She paid and was served the booze. She started gulping it down and soon was pretty sloshed. In trying to make her gradsons behave she had to turn around to scold and warn them. Now, this woman was wearing a very loose fitting top (I don't know the proper name) with no sleeves and thin straps over the shoulders. She wore no bra. How do I know? Just before the little darlings got tired out and fell asleep, she spun around in her seat one last time with such force that one of her twins broke free of her top! Even funnier was that she didn't realize it and an FA had to scurry over to help tuck that booby back in! Who needs radio or TV when such live entertainment can be had for the price of a coach ticket!
Elite From Hong Kong, joined Jun 2006, 2772 posts, RR: 10 Reply 6, posted (7 years 2 months 1 week 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 5983 times:
Quoting EWRandMDW (Reply 5): Even funnier was that she didn't realize it and an FA had to scurry over to help tuck that booby back in! Who needs radio or TV when such live entertainment can be had for the price of a coach ticket!
Haha, I feel really bad for that woman. Was the FA laughing or anything? (Or just being professional?)
PlymSpotter From Spain, joined Jun 2004, 11500 posts, RR: 62 Reply 7, posted (7 years 2 months 1 week 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 5943 times:
There was an iberia flight that I got on several years ago which sticks in my mind. The person sat in the row in front slowly walked up to the seat, looked at it, looked at the overheads, and then apparently from no-where produced 4 very large lettuces from inside his coat. This was on a flight from BCN-LHR, so I take it he was really proud of them and was going to give them to some family members. Still pretty unusual.
Also, many many years ago, when my grandfather worked up in Scotland but lived in London he was given a rather large whole Salmon to take back home with him. Now this was a very nice gesture, but as he didn't have anything to put it in, he sat with it on his lap all the way back down to LHR, I mean can you imagine somebody doing that now in First Class!
...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
ANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 8, posted (7 years 2 months 1 week 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 5925 times:
On a recent UA Express flight the F/A, named Erik, made his Safety lecture announcement like he was right out of "The Godfather" movies. Made everyone laugh. . . beats the same boring drawl, and people actually paid attention . . .
Nothing so funny as jumping flight attendants and mysteriously appearing heads of lettuce . . fun nonetheless.
EWRandMDW From United States of America, joined Jul 2006, 396 posts, RR: 0 Reply 9, posted (7 years 2 months 1 week 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 5905 times:
The FA was herself an older woman and she was totally mortified by the escaping mammary gland. I think she may also have been concerned about getting in trouble because she was the one who sold all that alcohol to grandma.
United787 From United States of America, joined May 2005, 2503 posts, RR: 2 Reply 11, posted (7 years 2 months 1 week 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 5762 times:
Wasn't on a flight and maybe more scary than funny, but...
Getting on an Olympic Airways flight on June 23, 1991 from SMI to ATH, as the passengers were walking across the tarmac to the plane, the FA announced that if you wanted your bags on the plane, you would have to put them on yourself because the baggage handlers were on strike. With that, there was a mad dash for the luggage cart, with everyone trying to find their bags and throw them in the cargo hold. All of this was done while trying to avoid spinning blades of the turbo prop. I was travelling with my family of 7, so had quite a few bags to find.
The next day I flew ATH to FCO on AZ. When I got to the security checkpoint, you know the place with the metal detectors etc., no one was there... we just walked around it.
Mjlhou From United States of America, joined Sep 2006, 154 posts, RR: 4 Reply 12, posted (7 years 2 months 1 week 1 day 3 hours ago) and read 5756 times:
Well, I'll just preface this by stating that both the Captain and FO had just gotten luch from the infamous Lalos mexican restaurant at MDW. We pushed back from the gate on-time and shortly after the flying duo had finished their scrumptious lunch. We pulled onto runway 31C and commenced our takeoff roll. After we were, just a guess now, about 500-800 feet off the ground, the flight deck door swung open very quickly hitting the back of the lav door on this 737-300. The other FA I was sharing the jumpseat with and I both nearly had heart-attacks! As u all know, this is the last point during the flight that we as FAs, or anybody else for that matter, expect the flight deck door to open! The captain flew out of the flight deck and slammed the door behind him yelling "SICK!!", and was in the lav before either of us FAs even knew what happened! Although at first very concerned and more than anything, startled, we both looked at eachother and knew it had to have been the mexican food the 2 had just eaten. Not that I wish emergency restroom trips on anyone, especially for fear that it would happen to you, but sometimes you gotta laugh man......cuz I know we were!!!!
Don't worry about things you can't change or control
Atrude777 From United States of America, joined Aug 2003, 5666 posts, RR: 53 Reply 13, posted (7 years 2 months 1 week 1 day 3 hours ago) and read 5752 times:
Pretty funny here..
I am on AA MD80, getting ready to take off.
F/A were STILL doing the safety breifing, and we were nearing the runway and the panic in trying to hurry up was funny. and then we sit on the runway and shes finishing up the exit doors and finally we started going.
the head F/A screamed exicedlty "and throw the dman doors out and ksis your ass good bye!"
and they are RUNNING through the cabin trying to get to their seat before we took off, they finally made it and 2 seconds later we lifted off. I was laughing hysterically.
Good things come to those who wait, better things come to those who go AFTER it!
EWRandMDW From United States of America, joined Jul 2006, 396 posts, RR: 0 Reply 14, posted (7 years 2 months 1 week 18 hours ago) and read 5715 times:
Reading these reminded me of another humorous incident I witnessed. About 10-11 years ago I was on a UA flight to SFO. It was a DC10. As we were finishing up boarding, a flight attendant was going around closing the overhead bin doors. One of the bin doors over the central bank of seats would not close. It seems a piece of luggage was interfering with the movement of the hinge. She happened to be short of stature so she climbed up on an empty aisle seat and stretched to reach the bag. At the last minute she must have realized a good (and dare I say it, shapely) bit of her thighs had been exposed by her uniform riding up her legs. She calmly told everyone within earshot not to look up her dress. Since most of us sitting in that area were men who appreciated a good woman, we all did.
CURLYHEADBOY From Italy, joined Feb 2005, 939 posts, RR: 2 Reply 15, posted (7 years 2 months 1 week 17 hours ago) and read 5709 times:
So, this is my story, I was very ashamed when it happened but now I think it's quite funny.
I was flying to Istanbul for a vacation on a Lauda 763, I had a window seat and sitting next to me was my girlfriend at that time. She knew she suffered from air sickness and took some tablets while boarding the plane. It happened that for some reason I don't remember, our flight was delayed and we had to disembark. Once we were back on board and took off, more than two hours had passed. The flight went ok and she had her lunch but, as the aircraft started to descend, the effect of the tablets had finished and she began to feel sick... She was very pale and kept saying "I'm gonna vomit". So I asked her if she could hold it, as we were almost there and she said "I don't think so...", Then I gave her an air-sickness bag so that she could use it. She took it but gave it back to me after a couple of minutes saying "I think it's getting better".
In the exact moment I had the sickbag in my hands again, the aircraft touched down and my G/F simultaneously barfed against the seat in front of her, followed in no time by the passenger sitting next to her across the aisle, who felt sick at the sight! While the aircraft was exiting the runway the smell became quite noticeable, and other two persons felt sick and barfed... to my horror the situation seemed to get out of control in a nasty chain-reaction, as i felt somebody at my back rejecting his lunch! I was afraid the whole airplane was going to puke, fortunately the thing stopped there, but I still remember how bad I wanted to get off that plane ASAP....
[Edited 2006-10-05 15:57:25]
If God had wanted men to fly he would have given them more money...
I can't decide, either the butt ugly Lufthansa bitch who tried to explain the dude next to me that BKK is CET +12 hours (which is completely wrong) or some LTU F/A who told me that the airline she's working for is the best.
5mileBob From United States of America, joined Aug 2006, 104 posts, RR: 1 Reply 18, posted (7 years 2 months 1 week 3 hours ago) and read 5623 times:
On a NWA DC-10, ORD-MIA night flight, the F/A's had just served dinner. Many passengers were listening to the audio system and some, including myself, were listening to the comedy channel. Abbot and Costello's "Who's On First" routine had started, and it was easy to see who was listening as we would all start laughing out loud at the same time. The man sitting across the aisle was enjoying the routine while trying to cut his chicken with a knife. During one of the funnier moments, he laughed loudly and used too much pressure while cutting. A large chunk of chicken flung off the end of his knife, flew across the aisle, going under my chin and landing on the plate of the man sitting next to me.
DENplanenut From United States of America, joined May 2005, 205 posts, RR: 0 Reply 19, posted (7 years 2 months 1 week ago) and read 5609 times:
February 2001- On a DL flight, DFW-BTR (737-200)... a lady in her late 60s decided to use the lavatory while on final approach. One of the flight attendants immediately got up and tried to wrestled her back in her seat, telling her it was against regulations and at that point it was impossible to do a go around so she could use the lav. The lady gave her a choice... use the lavatory 'now' or do it in her seat. To my surprise she was allowed to use the lav. So when we touched down really hard at BTR, we just heard a scream from the rear lav... everyone in the back chuckled... and seconds later she yelled "I'm okay!"... at that point, there was a burst of laughter throughout the cabin. Anyhow, bless her heart!
Letsgetwet From United States of America, joined Jul 2005, 609 posts, RR: 0 Reply 20, posted (7 years 2 months 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 5517 times:
While on a CO flight HAM-EWR we were close to making our landing approach , and the fa's were preparing the cabin by making one last pass to collect trash, a woman sitting across and in front of me handed the fa a "dirty" diaper. When, a second later, she realized what she was holding she freaked-out and gave it back to her. The woman said " What's the big deal?" and stuck it in the seat back pocket. (She did take it with her when she de-planed though)
Kgfive From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2005, 59 posts, RR: 0 Reply 21, posted (7 years 2 months 4 days 19 hours ago) and read 5466 times:
I am sitting here having a good laugh at all the stories and realising you cannot predict all these happenings they just happen and that is what makes them funny....anway....
I was travelling home from Forida not that long ago, MCO-EWR-GLA ,and while connecting at EWR saw a funny and strange occurance, while strolling about the terminal I noticed a very well dressed lady walking towards the "moving walkway" quite briskly and to my amazement she was heading for the wrong one...she was heading for the walkway that brings people towards her. I thought she would notice her mistake BUT no she just kept going and preceded to fight the oncomming movement of the floor and dodge oncomming passengers...congrats she made it and to my amazement and others around me she continued onto the 2nd walkway the exact sme way...I was pissin myself laughing along with dozens of other passengers at her struggle. By the time she disembarked her "ride" she was decidedly out of breath, her hair was messed up, her coat was haging off her shoulder and her hand baggage was trailing behind her doing cartwheels. And not once did she look embaraced of seem as if she was doing something wrong, she tidied herself up and continued to her awaiting aircraft..the GLA flight I was going to ask her about her ordeal but deciced not to...wish I had
Ajd1992 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 22, posted (7 years 2 months 4 days 18 hours ago) and read 5456 times:
LOL, stupid or what
Mine wasn't on a flight, but in IND. My brother (7 or so at the time, really dumb kid) asked a USAir 737 pilot if he knew about 9/11, 2 years after it had happened.
<< what i felt at the time even though i was 10.
PureKiwi From New Zealand, joined Feb 2006, 183 posts, RR: 0 Reply 23, posted (7 years 2 months 4 days ago) and read 5389 times:
A few months ago I was flying with a friend from Auckland to Wellington and he hadn't flown for ages. I caught him about to throw his boarding pass away and I asked him what he was doing and he said "im throwing away my receipt". I said to him thats your boarding pass you need it to get on the plane and he said "no you don't its just a reciept so he threw it away when I wasn't looking. When we were boarding the gate agent asked him for his boarding pass and he didn't have it. Luckily they still let him board