AV8orWALK From United States of America, joined Nov 2006, 180 posts, RR: 0 Posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 6064 times:
Greetings Fellow A.Nutters,
I'm sitting at Gate 127 at MCO, boarding my flight to SDF for a quick weekend getaway. Between my car and the seat I'm sitting in now, I heard 3 things that made me chuckle. I thought I'd share them with you, and maybe you can add your own.
1. In the Security Line: "This line is so long we should've drove the extra 2 hours to fly out of Tampa. Southwest isn't as big there. (Waited about 9 minutes to get through security.)
2. 4 y/o Boy to Dad: "Why are they pushing that plane backwards?" Dad: "It's because it's broken and they are taking it to the "garage" to get fixed". (Should've seen the kids face 3 minutes later when it took off!)
3. Flight to Kansas City at the gate next to me. Lady to Operations Agent: "Will the Flight Attendants make an announcement in the air when we need to set our watches back?" (Blank stare by Operations Agent.)
Please add your own! Keep it fun.
The safest place to be in an airplane crash is on the ground.
homsar From United States of America, joined Jan 2010, 1153 posts, RR: 0
Reply 1, posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 7 hours ago) and read 5938 times:
Many years ago, I was waiting to board a plane at DTW, and I overheard one guy ask the other what the difference was between Northwest Airlines and Southwest Airlines. The other guy's response: "Northwest flies primarily east-west routes, and Southwest flies mostly north-south."
pink77W From United States of America, joined Aug 2009, 179 posts, RR: 0
Reply 3, posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 7 hours ago) and read 5782 times:
the last time i was at an airport waiting for WN ... SAN-SJC. a big giant guy sat next to me got on his cell and started talkin about how hard football practice is compared to PITT. he said the rookies had a 12hr meeting. he had 49er hat and sweater. no its not about airplanes. but im a big NFL fan so i was impressed.
nighthawk From UK - Scotland, joined Sep 2001, 5126 posts, RR: 34
Reply 4, posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 5652 times:
Last weekend as I was getting the bus pack to the park&ride next to Edinburgh Airport, we got a flyby from a Tornado (which the guy behind me told his partner was an "F16"). He then continued talking a load of crap. The highlight, just as we got near the airport:
"At Manchester, they have a pub right next to the runway, right where the taxiway meets the runway. All the 757s and Nimrods that are taking off taxi right past the pub window".
Ah yes, I remember seeing all those Thomas Cook Nimrods taking off at the last MAN meet!
ericaasen From United States of America, joined Jun 2010, 233 posts, RR: 1
Reply 5, posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 5587 times:
Well, it wasn't me but my dad overheard one on a flight once that's my favorite so far. The flight was at night and the woman in the row behind him looked out the window after takeoff and commented that there was a strange light out there. My dad looked and didn't see anything. "Maybe its another plane." Dad looked and didn't see anything. The woman kept going on and on about this plane and how it seemed awfully close. My dad to his credit looked again and didn't see anything again. "Maybe that plane is following us," says the woman. My dad just shakes his head. Then, "maybe its a UFO!" Dad looks again and still doesn't see anything. Finally as they are on approach to ORD the lights of the city below reveal the mystery of the strange light by showing that its attached to the of the wing. "Oh my silly me! Its a light on the end of the wing!"
For me personally I was asked on a flight GFK-MSP by a woman next to me how to buckle her seatbelt.
RL757PVD From United States of America, joined Dec 1999, 4645 posts, RR: 11
Reply 6, posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 5511 times:
in Feburary I was connecting in DTW on my way from BGM to ATL and someone was making spoof announcements in the terminal.
They were mocking the standards DTW timezone announcement "Ladies and Genlemen, Detroit is in the eastern timezone, thank you, and all I want to do is a boom boom boom and a zoom zoom" (spoken, not sung)
There were about 3 more spoof ones then someone came on and said "ladies and gentlement this is a perfect example of an unprofessional... ah well.... nevermind...*click* "
Experience is what you get when what you thought would work out didn't!
n901wa From United States of America, joined Oct 2009, 450 posts, RR: 0
Reply 7, posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 5347 times:
Here's a few I was on a L-1011 from LAX to HNL and a Passenger asked a fellow passenger/airplane expert - How come it takes 3 hours to fly to HNL, (example dep 0900 arv 1200) and takes 7 hours to fly back? (example dep 2300 arv 0600) He told the Lady its because of the Headwinds! Another one: after a tripple eng change on a 727 in LAS, we were flying back, and a Lady asked my buddy Wow you guys are dirty, What did you guys work on? He said " do you see the 2 things that stick out from the body of the airplane, they are called wings. We had to reattach both to that airplane last night. I had to walk away
flymia From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 7110 posts, RR: 9
Reply 8, posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 5255 times:
My favorite is probably walking down the jetway behind a family. The little kid asked his dad what kind of plane they are getting on. (DCA-MIA about a year ago.) The dad says oh a 727 just like we flew last time. His wife corrects him and says a 737. And he says well we will see when we get on.
"It was just four of us on the flight deck, trying to do our job" (Captain Al Haynes)
YYZRWY23 From Canada, joined Aug 2009, 561 posts, RR: 0
Reply 9, posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 5250 times:
Sorry this was on-board, but I has to share. My trip in March from YYZ-LGW takes the cake for the flight with the mot funny things said. At one point, my father and I could not stop laughing. We had to move back a few seats so they didn't know we were laughing at each thing they said. One thing to note, we stopped in Glasgow.
1. In the clouds ascending from YYZ: "Look out there, you see that?" "Yeah, I can see Jesus flying along with us."
2. "What kind of plane are we on?" "An A320." "How do you know that?" "Look around you, two aisles....hence the 2 in the A320."
3. On the ground in Glasgow: "Look out there, those Irish people are quick with at servicing the plane."
4. In a hold near LGW: "When they put you in a hold, you fly the length of the runway and turn around and keep doing it until you can come into land."
5. "What are those things extending?" "Those are the flaps." "What are they for." "They help to turn the plane better when it goes slow."
Most frightening aspect of these statements (mostly #4), these were air cadets.
[Edited 2010-08-20 08:33:08]
If you don't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them.
ajd1992 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 5238 times:
I was on a US E145 flying from PHL to ORD (having just flown MAN-PHL on US) and we'd just landed at O'Hare. I was around 14 I think, and the business man sat next to me, who'd had a look of horror when he saw himself sat next to a kid for an hour and a half when he got on and then ignored me, asked me after we landed "Which Chicago airport did we just land at? Nobody told me!"
I'm not sure what was more surprising, my foreign accent or the fact he had to ask a child where he'd just landed.
Not something i overheard, but rather something i witnessed about 16years ago. When Airtours (the Package Holiday company) were going strong in the early 90's, many of their very late night departures were geared towards the "cheaper" end of the market. On a particularly quiet evening we were all suddenly disturbed in MAN Airport check-in hall by a whole load of commotion coming through the main doors.
A large family of maybe 10, adourned in their latest Shell Suits, stumbled through with each suitcase tied up with string, and every Pot & Pan from their kitchens tied onto said string, and their kettles and toasters in hand luggage!!
They were on their first venture out of the UK and they thought that Self-Catering meant exactly that!!!
To add to the hillarity of the situation, they mis-read their tickets and had arrived exactly 24 hours too early!!
Its not as fun as it used to be......
PI4EVER From United States of America, joined May 2009, 641 posts, RR: 2
Reply 12, posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 5209 times:
You can always pick out the "smart" ones who have all the answers.......
1. "Dad what kind of plane is that? "A 747. You can always tell because the engines are under the wing." This was in a gate in BNA awaiting a WN 737 to MCO.
2. Wife to husband seated in row ahead of me on a US A320. "What does A320 EOW mean?" Husband: "East or West. This plane can fly to Charlotte or to San Francisco." We were flying TPA-CLT so "equipped over water" was reassuring when we flew out over Tampa Bay.
Many years ago in DCA, late at night, several airlines were known for "spoof" announcements when last flights of the day had arrived. My two favorites,
"XYZ Airlines paging Ophelia Peters. Ophelia Peters to any airline desk please."
"Arriving passenger Master Bates." "Master Bates your parents are waiting." "Beat it to baggage claim."
And two of those stupid ones to a reservations agent "When the time changes from Daylight to Standard tonight, what time does the plane leave tomorrow?"
"Is it a plane or one of those props?"
We should all compile these classics and write a book. It would be a bestseller because every airline employee, travel agent and hotel employee would buy one!
Yflyer From United States of America, joined Feb 2007, 1003 posts, RR: 1
Reply 13, posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 2 days ago) and read 5158 times:
I've shared this one before, but it's one of my favorite "overheard on an arplane" stories and it's worth repeating:
I was on a CO 735 at IAH. There was a boy maybe 5 years old or so sitting behind me. It seemed like it was his first time on a plane, and he was pretty excited about it. While we were still at the gate, he was apparently looking at the safety card, but was too young to understand it. When he saw the part about water landings, he blurted out "Look Mom, this plane can land on water!" (This was before the US Airways water landing on the Hudson, BTW).
The same kid was looking out the window at the other planes. He noticed most of them had winglets, but some didn't. He pointed out the ones without winglets to his mom and said that those planes were "broken".
While we were taxiing to the runway: "Mom, are we on a road?" (He wanted to know what the taxiway was called). His mom: "I guess we're on a runway." Kid: "No, the runway's over there." His father, who was sitting across the aisle from the rest of the family, correctly informed him that we were on a taxiway.
MCO2BRS From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2007, 539 posts, RR: 0
Reply 14, posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 5130 times:
One of my favourites was said by an FA (intentionally, of course) going MCO-EYW on a DL Connection E145 a couple of years ago.
As we arrived in EYW she said "Welcome to Key West. If you enjoyed your flight today, my name is Stephanie and on behalf of Delta Air Lines and Freedom Airlines we would like to thank you for flying with us today. If you did not find your flight today enjoyable, my name is Tracy, and on behalf of American Airlines and American Eagle, we would like to thank you for your business. If you have any concerns you would like to raise with the airline, please speak with David at the American Eagle desk in the terminal. Have a nice day"
Viscount724 From Switzerland, joined Oct 2006, 24803 posts, RR: 22
Reply 15, posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 5079 times:
Years ago (probably early 1970s) I remember being on the observation deck at YVR. The new YVR terminal that opened in the late '60s had an excellent open-air observation deck overlooking the ramp for its first few years. It was then closed for security reasons and eventually disappeared with the various terminal expansion projects.
A man and his son aged about 10 were standing near me. A little later an AC DC-9-30 taxied in and parked nearby. The boy asked, "What tkind of plane is that, Dad?" and his father replied, "That's a 727." The boy asked, "How can you tell?" His dad replied, "Look at the top of the tail. See where it says 727." (It also said "DC-9 further down on the tail but he obviously overlooked that, or maybe he'd never heard of a DC-9.) AC's DC-9s had internal fleet numbers in the 700-series and that happened to be #727...they also had DC-9-30s numbered 707, 717, 737 and 747, and for a few years in the 1970s a DC-9-15 numbered 767 before the Boeing 767 existed. It was one of 8 DC-9-15RC passenger/crgo convertible models purchased from CO and disposed of by 1980 or so.)
In any case, the boy seemed satisifed with his dad's wrong answer that the DC=9 was a 727. I was hoping another AC DC-9 would arrive with tail number 737 (or 707 or 747) and wait to hear the father's answer whin his son asked, "Why does the 737 look exactly the same as the 727?"
Maverick623 From United States of America, joined Nov 2006, 5564 posts, RR: 6
Reply 17, posted (3 years 11 months 1 week 1 day 13 hours ago) and read 5006 times:
About a year ago, my dad and I took the red-eye PHX-JFK on US. We're taxiing up to the gate at T7 (it's still dark, being only 5AM), and the guy in the row in front of us looks out the window and says to the guy in front of him (who he had struck up a conversation with earlier), "Wow, that's a big plane. What is it, British Air or something?"
I was in shock. It was like watching two speeding freight trains headed towards each other, and I couldn't look away. I had to watch it happen. I knew it was coming.
The other passenger: "Yea, it's one of those, uh, Airbus planes. A 767 I think."
Of course, it was a Boeing 747. I about died trying not to laugh too loud.