Sponsor Message:
Travel Polls & Prefs Forum
My Starred Topics | Profile | New Topic | Forum Index | Help | Search 
Warning Humor Thread.  
User currently offlineJumboJim747 From Australia, joined Oct 2004, 2482 posts, RR: 38
Posted (10 years 7 months 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 2360 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

How about some light hearted humor regarding Aviation
A friend sent me this joke i found very funny .
Anyone else have any .

A jumbo jet is coming into Tampa Airport on its final approach.
>>The pilot comes on the intercom, 'This is your Captain. We're on our
>>final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us
>>and I hope you enjoy your stay in Tampa Bay.'
>>He forgets to switch off the intercom.
>>Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit.
>>The copilot says to the pilot, 'Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in
>>Well,' says the skipper, 'first I'm gonna check into the hotel and
>>a big cr_p. Then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge
>>out for dinner. I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room,
>>and put it to her big time all night.'
>>Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and

>>down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess! . Meanwhile,
the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so embarrassed that she starts to run toward the cockpit to turn the intercom off.
>>Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she
>>The old lady leans over and says: 'No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta
>>take a sh*t first.'

On a wing and a prayer
4 replies: All unread, jump to last
User currently offlineGofly From United Kingdom, joined Dec 2004, 1727 posts, RR: 32
Reply 1, posted (10 years 7 months 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 2352 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

A Pilots idea of taking their kids to work:

Loads more here:

-Gofly  Smile

Living the high life on my ex-Airliners.net Moderator pension...
User currently offlineDeltaGator From United States of America, joined Sep 2005, 6341 posts, RR: 12
Reply 2, posted (10 years 7 months 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 2314 times:

That first joke never gets old.

Here's my contribution. I have no idea where I got it. Most likely some email thread somewhere.

This is a collection of complaints about various aircraft submitted by U.S. Air Force pilots, and the replies to those complaints from Air Force Mechanics. Each complaint in the log book must be followed by the mechanics report and sign-off.

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Problem: "Test Flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem#1: "No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution#1: "No. 2 propeller seepage normal."
Problem #2: "No. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage."

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't"
Solution: "It does now."

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on the right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem: "Autopilit in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative.
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."

Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution:"Engine found under right wing after brief search."

"If you can't delight in the misery of others then you don't deserve to be a college football fan."
User currently offlineJeffry747 From United States of America, joined Jun 2005, 968 posts, RR: 2
Reply 3, posted (10 years 7 months 22 hours ago) and read 2289 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

ATC to UAL2XX: UAL2XX Traffic is Fokker 100 9 o'clock 2miles 30,000 ft report in sight.
UAL2XX: ATC I have always wanted to say this. I got that Fokker in sight!

C'mon Big B, FLY!
User currently offlineDeltaGator From United States of America, joined Sep 2005, 6341 posts, RR: 12
Reply 4, posted (10 years 7 months 18 hours ago) and read 2278 times:

I did hear this transmission on UA's Channel 9 one night while flying ATL-ORD. I'm paraphrasing but you can decide if it is funny or not.

ATC: XXX(I forget the airline but I think DL)123 please climb to FL140.
XXX123: Roger

A minute or so later...

ATC: XXX123 please expedite your climb to FL140.
XXX123: Roger

Another couple of minutes go by...

ATC: XXX123 please expedite your climb to FL140. This is a second request.
XXX123: Roger. How do we get to FL140?
ATC: Well when I took my flying lessons they told me that if I wanted to gain altitude I should pull on that yoke in front of me. Perhaps you can learn from that suggestion as well.

"If you can't delight in the misery of others then you don't deserve to be a college football fan."
Top Of Page
Forum Index

This topic is archived and can not be replied to any more.

Printer friendly format

Similar topics:More similar topics...
The Official Fantasy Livery Thread....... posted Mon Apr 10 2006 15:56:06 by Alberchico
The Plug Someone Elses Pic Thread! posted Sun Mar 19 2006 20:09:12 by Garri767
A Thread For Predictions For The New Year posted Sat Dec 31 2005 21:59:58 by AirFrnt
What Is Your Worst "Worst" Thread? posted Sun Dec 18 2005 00:57:59 by Bohica
Another Quote This Photo Thread... posted Fri Dec 2 2005 22:43:11 by FLY2HMO
Suggested Liveries Thread posted Mon Nov 14 2005 22:58:49 by Garri767
Warning Humor Thread. posted Sun Oct 30 2005 21:49:03 by JumboJim747
The Thread With The Least Posts.......? posted Tue Aug 23 2005 09:42:56 by Goinv
The NOT - A Vs. B Thread! posted Thu Jun 16 2005 20:31:33 by Birdwatching
The Ugly Airplane Thread posted Fri May 20 2005 19:17:01 by Clickhappy
The Airfare Bargain Thread posted Thu Oct 6 2011 05:17:51 by something
McDonnell Douglas--"What If?" Thread posted Wed Dec 8 2010 10:13:09 by tsugambler
[Rant Warning] - Tiger Airways-worst Service Ever posted Sat Sep 25 2010 16:06:01 by Springbok747
Stranded Ash Travellers Help Thread posted Sat Apr 17 2010 17:54:05 by BuyantUkhaa
Flights: Special Offers Thread posted Wed Feb 3 2010 15:44:05 by Ammunition
The Good Service Thread posted Sat Jul 11 2009 21:29:53 by DocLightning
787 First Flight - Thread Revisited posted Thu Apr 30 2009 01:27:17 by Part147
Star Alliance Thread posted Mon Jan 21 2008 09:34:41 by StarAlliance38
The UA Vs. NW Thread posted Mon Jan 21 2008 04:11:21 by Curticool
Best Thread On A.Net posted Thu Dec 6 2007 16:01:42 by AF340