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Best Thing ATC Has Said  
User currently offlineDreamsUnited From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 264 posts, RR: 0
Posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 13 hours ago) and read 2613 times:

Another one to all those pilots out there or people who just like to tune into ATC for listening purposes, what is the best thing you have heard them do or say over the radio? I am asking all of you to put them down and share laughs.

Do not abort a takeoff because a cockpit window pops open!
11 replies: All unread, jump to last
User currently offlineFutureualpilot From United States of America, joined May 2000, 2617 posts, RR: 7
Reply 1, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 12 hours ago) and read 2603 times:

I was listening online a while ago to JFK clearance/ground and a Comair flight came on to get their IFR clearance to wherever they were going (the flight # and destination escape me).

Comair123: JFK clearance, Comair 123 can we please get our IFR clearence to XYZ.

JFK: Um, Comair 123, no....you can't, I'm not going to do that for you today...
...*long silence*....juuuuust kidding Comair 123, here you go.

Life is better when you surf.
User currently offlineDreamsUnited From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 264 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 12 hours ago) and read 2599 times:

Now that I think of it, I forgot to add a great one that I had, we were at midfeild for our run up and a cessna contacts and goes

373ES: John Wayne Ground, Cessna 373ES at dove ready for runup.

(the tower tells them to go to to run up.)

373ES: Copy that John Wayne Ground we are... uh hold on,... oh, we forgot to take the chalks out from under the wheels. Sorry.

Do not abort a takeoff because a cockpit window pops open!
User currently offlineDeltaRules From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 4028 posts, RR: 8
Reply 3, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 11 hours ago) and read 2595 times:

The best thing I've ever heard ATC say was something I was involved with.

In April, during my never-ending PPL course in Dayton at Delta Connection Academy (for various reasons out of my control, it's taken a year), my instructor and I went up for a review flight. We flew out to the practice area & did slow flight, Power-Off & On stalls & other performance maneuvers. We then planned to go back to the airport, take a break & go back out to do pattern work.

On the way back into Dayton, we called approach & told them that we'd be returning for a full stop. They assigned us runway 18, which we headed toward. We were told to maintain 2,500, which was unusual. About 5 miles northwest of the runway, my instructor (I was flying) looks out the window & yells "Holy sh*t!! There's two A-10s below us!" It took me a second to remember what an A-10 was, but when I did, I jerked my head to the left & was wide-eyed when I saw the fighter looping around below us.

Immediately after this, my instructor, angry because we weren't told about the traffic, calls approach & says something to the effect of:

Inst.- "Dayton approach, Cessna 39W has the traffic in sight."
Appch- "Cessna 39W, roger."
Inst.- (agitated) "So you want us to avoid the A-10s, then?"
Appch- "Affirmative."
Inst.- "Ok, how many are there?"

...at which point, I held up two fingers, as I had seen a second one fly under us. ATC then confirmed that there were two out there. We continued to both fly & watch them, laughing & surprised at what we'd just seen. It's something that's probably common with WPAFB being there, but neither one of us had seen anything like it. We even started quoting lines from Top Gun, like "I WANT VIPER." The best line came as we were handed off to tower:

Appch- "Cessna 39W, report the airport in sight."
Me- "Field in sight, 39W."
Appch- "Cessna 39W, traffic no factor, cleared straight in runway 18, contact Dayton Tower 119.9....

Don't hit the 'hogs."


Let's Kick the Tires & Light the Fires!!
User currently offlineReins485 From United States of America, joined Jul 2005, 136 posts, RR: 0
Reply 4, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 8 hours ago) and read 2570 times:

Here is one that my dad claims to have pulled while flying for AA and landing at LGA.
Appch: AA 123 and TWA 789 (random numbers there) I have you two neck and neck and can't figure out which one to put in front.
AA(my dad): Thats ok let AA got ahead.

My dad says after he said that the TWA pilot was on the radio making a fuss saying it wasn't him who said that.
Another time my dad was flying ORD-LHR and my mom was flying JFK-LHR and they had a close track, so my mom jumps on the radio to say hey. And then in the middle of their conversation some other pilot started making kissing sounds over the radio.

User currently offline2H4 From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 8956 posts, RR: 58
Reply 5, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 8 hours ago) and read 2566 times:

Quoting DreamsUnited (Thread starter):
what is the best thing you have heard them do or say over the radio?

"Cleared via direct".

In terms of humorous exchanges, though, it would have to be the time an instructor in my flight school was flying out to take his rather attractive girlfriend up for her first airplane ride.

I've got the exchange recorded on MP3 format, but I don't know how to host it or embed it into a player here on the boards. If anyone knows how, let me know and I'll post it....


Intentionally Left Blank
User currently offline2H4 From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 8956 posts, RR: 58
Reply 6, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 hours ago) and read 2549 times:

Ok, I think I figured it out.

The situation....an instructor at my flight school was taking his girlfriend for an airplane ride. Everyone knew what he had in mind, and word got around:



Intentionally Left Blank
User currently offlineEGTESkyGod From United Kingdom, joined Jun 2005, 1712 posts, RR: 12
Reply 7, posted (9 years 5 months 4 days ago) and read 2482 times:
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My name is Charlie, I was taxiing at Exeter in G-OWAC..... and was told....

"Golf-Alpha Charlie, taxi via Charlie to holding point Charlie, thanks Charlie!"

I came, I saw, I Concorde! RIP Michael Jackson
User currently offlineDeltaGator From United States of America, joined Sep 2005, 6341 posts, RR: 12
Reply 8, posted (9 years 5 months 3 days 20 hours ago) and read 2464 times:

I heard someone in ATC tell a pilot who was slow getting to their assigned altitude that when they were in flight school they learned to rise by pulling back on the stick.

"If you can't delight in the misery of others then you don't deserve to be a college football fan."
User currently offlineLevent From France, joined Sep 2004, 1718 posts, RR: 4
Reply 9, posted (9 years 5 months 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 2453 times:

Sitting on a Fokker 50 jumpseat on approach to Menorca, there was a UK-registered Piper Archer in front of us. It went something like this (I made the reg. up):

ATC: Piper Golf Alpha Bravo Yankee Delta, cleared to land runway 18.
Piper: Cleared to land runway 18, Golf Alpha Bravo Yankee Delta.

after a while

ATC: Golf Yankee Delta, you just landed on the taxiway.
Piper: Uhm... Oh, sorry...
ATC: You understand I'll have to report this to the authorities.
Piper: Yes, Tower, I understand. And sorry again.

User currently offlineTexan From New Zealand, joined Dec 2003, 4319 posts, RR: 51
Reply 10, posted (9 years 5 months 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 2451 times:

Jacksonville Approach: UPS 123 slow to (pick random speed) and descend to 10,000.
UPS 123: Approach, we can slow or descend but not at the same time.
JAX: Did you win that in your last contract negotiation?
UPS 123: UPS 123 slowing and descending!

And forgot which airport this was at, but it went something like this:

Approach: Comair 123, go ahead.
Comair 123: Go ahead, approach.
Approach: Go ahead, Comair 123.
Comair 123: Uh...approach, you called us.
Approach: Oh. Well what did I want you for?


"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library."
User currently offlineIAHFLYR From United States of America, joined Jun 2005, 4790 posts, RR: 21
Reply 11, posted (9 years 5 months 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 2435 times:

We have quite a few funnies from a few controllers in Houston, of course all of these are 45 days or longer since they were heard, yeah right.....like SWA inbound to HOU, level at 6,000' and they want lower, so they ask the approach controller, "SWAXXX like a little lower".....without missing a beat the normal tone in the controllers voice lowers a bit, and says "SWAXXX, hows this"! Needless to say, there was no reply from the open mic onboard the Boeing jet, just laughter! Did they get lower, sure, the next controller gave them 5,900'....so not sure how they ever made it to HOU!

Let me think.....gosh so many I hear....or the descent given clearance issued to an B73NG with the not often heard phrase, "descend at co-pilots discretion" and the PNF says hey, how did you know it was his leg? Controller replies, "you didn't think those monitors were just for your viewing only did you"!  Smile

More as I stumble into them, remember them or say them!

Any views shared are strictly my own and do not a represent those of any former employer.
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