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Aviation Humour - Great!  
User currently offlineEGGD From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2001, 12443 posts, RR: 32
Posted (13 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 1838 times:

Hi guys,

Just recieved these through email, i'm sure some of you have heard them but they are pretty funny anyway. These are actual (apparently) logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

P = problem logged by pilots
S = Solution/action taken by engineers.

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.


Dan  Laugh out loud

3 replies: All unread, jump to last
User currently offlineSpotterboy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (13 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1791 times:

Australians are real crazy people....  Big thumbs up

User currently offlineAirways From Switzerland, joined Mar 2001, 880 posts, RR: 11
Reply 2, posted (13 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1744 times:

Funny joke, I have already read quite a lot variants of it. Last time it wasn't Qantas, but an Air Force...


User currently offlineJmc757 From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2000, 1315 posts, RR: 6
Reply 3, posted (13 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1656 times:

Very funny, didnt these appear in Airliner World in the feedback section once? Funny all the same  Big thumbs up

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