NWA742 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Posted (9 years 10 months 5 days 2 hours ago) and read 1998 times:
Here's my attempt (and I know it's unrealistic :
An experienced American Airlines pilot, type rated on the 757/767, gets an unexpected offer from Air France:
He would move to France, and be trained on the A340. The pay would be double what he makes now.
Since he's always wanted to live in Europe for awhile, he gladly accepts the offer.
-----------------------------------
Weeks later, he's all set in France and ready to start flight training on the A340. The first simulator run was a short flight from Paris to London in bad weather.
As the pilot completed the flight and walked out of the simulator, The Air France training staff exclaimed how pleased they were at the pilot's first hand performance on the A340.
The pilot had a big glare on his face though. When asked what's wrong, he replies:
You know, I've flown for 30 years, the A340 is one smooth aircraft, and this whole simulator run went well, right? I believe I did everything correct, but there's one thing I DO NOT LIKE about this plane. I make a perfect fucking precision approach, and I touch the plane down very lightly, and the goddamn thing calls me a retard!
MD11LuxuryLinr From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 1385 posts, RR: 16 Reply 4, posted (9 years 10 months 5 days 2 hours ago) and read 1804 times:
That was pretty freakin good!! Damn funny u are!
Caution wake turbulence, you are following a heavy jet.
MD11LuxuryLinr From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 1385 posts, RR: 16 Reply 6, posted (9 years 10 months 5 days ago) and read 1703 times:
USAirA330
..when descending through 20 feet, the airplane says "retard, retard, retard".. Telling the pilot flying to pull the side stick back to bring the nose up for touchdown.. I believe that's what you asked..
Caution wake turbulence, you are following a heavy jet.
Elwood64151 From United States of America, joined Feb 2002, 2477 posts, RR: 7 Reply 10, posted (9 years 10 months 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 1467 times:
Retard is also American slang for "retarded", now called "learning disabled", which is why this rather entropic joke is funny.
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it in summer school.
Elwood64151 From United States of America, joined Feb 2002, 2477 posts, RR: 7 Reply 11, posted (9 years 10 months 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 1456 times:
I just realized I might get flamed for my comment. Bear in mind, I was speaking to those people who are not familiar enough with American slang to know why the joke is funny.
As for me, I got the impression that "retard" was probably a voice instruction from the aircraft, but I did not know its definition.
Cheers!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it in summer school.
N766UA From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 7991 posts, RR: 27 Reply 12, posted (9 years 10 months 4 days 20 hours ago) and read 1397 times:
LOL, it's funny how far off you people are! "Retard" means to retard the throttles. C'mon people!
Cmckeithen From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 617 posts, RR: 2 Reply 17, posted (9 years 10 months 4 days 3 hours ago) and read 1130 times:
Very good. I love this one. I guess we need our Boeing planes to talk to us while landing.
Elwood64151 From United States of America, joined Feb 2002, 2477 posts, RR: 7 Reply 20, posted (9 years 10 months 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 945 times:
Boeing4ever:
But it does mean they've learned tact! Too bad the Airbuses are just plain rude!
Okay, I'm ready to be flamed, now.
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it in summer school.
Sponsor Message: 
From , joined Dec 1969, posts, 
:
From United Kingdom, joined Jun 2003, 2725 posts, 
From , joined Dec 1969, posts, 
From Canada, joined Oct 2001, 1320 posts, 
From Poland, joined Jul 2003, 4112 posts, 
From Germany, joined Mar 2003, 103 posts, 
Printer friendly format 
