Singapore_Air From United Kingdom, joined Nov 2000, 13711 posts, RR: 21 Posted (9 years 9 months 3 weeks 1 day 16 hours ago) and read 5105 times:
Singapore Airlines Limited is reported on a popular Singaporean website to be shortening sarong kebaya skirts to save S$3 million / US$1.71 million.
“The savings will be a real leg up for us financially,” said Ms. Choe, apparently an SIA spokesperson.
SIA had also intended to shorten the length of the stewardesses’ blouses to expose their belly buttons in line with current fashion trends, but, as Ms. Choe put it, “We didn’t have the stomach for such a drastic move.”
Ex_SQer From United States of America, joined Apr 2002, 1435 posts, RR: 6 Reply 2, posted (9 years 9 months 3 weeks 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 4863 times:
Shortening the skirts saves material
I hope you guys aren't taking this seriously. talkingcock.com is a parody/humour site, Singapore's answer to The Onion.
Airmale From Botswana, joined Sep 2004, 368 posts, RR: 2 Reply 3, posted (9 years 9 months 3 weeks 18 hours ago) and read 4667 times:
SQ needs a more professional look for their crew, the Kebaya is shabby and makes them look like 'Singapore Maids' more than Singapore Girls, they should consider getting a decent neck line most of all and resort to a plain western Skirt with the present printed top or a plain top with the present Sarong.
Heavierthanair From Switzerland, joined Oct 2000, 634 posts, RR: 0 Reply 5, posted (9 years 9 months 3 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 4588 times:
G'day
While I understand and sympathize with the need of Singapore Air to reduce costs in today's truly competitive environment, I see some potentially discriminatory problems araising here. With the already stringent hiring requirements of Singapore Air, the shortening the sarong kebaya skirts would add additional hiring criteria for female cabin crew applicants. I would emagine those to include esthetically looking belly buttons, roughly centered on the belly, preferrebly recessed but definitely not excessively protruding, not overly hairy, definitely not exceeding the number of one (of those visible), ovality not exceeding a ratio of 1 to 1.5, to mention a few.
Cheers
Peter
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." (Albert Einstein, 1879
GoAround From United Kingdom, joined Jul 2003, 616 posts, RR: 0 Reply 6, posted (9 years 9 months 3 weeks 16 hours ago) and read 4528 times:
The words Singapore's Premier Satirical Humour Website give away that it shouldn't be taken seriously. Today's other headlines include 'Ikea Under Investigation for Meddling in Domestic Politics' and 'Health Ministry Investigates Sinchi Soup'.
SQ772 From Singapore, joined Nov 2001, 1792 posts, RR: 5 Reply 9, posted (9 years 9 months 3 weeks 12 hours ago) and read 4379 times:
Singapore_Air...did you for a moment believe what you read in talkingcock.com?
shabby and makes them look like 'Singapore Maids' more than Singapore Girls
Airmale: I think you mistook the PIA girls for Singapore Girls here....I tried picturing your version of the SQ uniform...and boy am I glad you are no Pierre Balman!
Ex_SQer From United States of America, joined Apr 2002, 1435 posts, RR: 6 Reply 10, posted (9 years 9 months 3 weeks 12 hours ago) and read 4358 times:
Methinks the plunging neckline has Airmale all hot and bothered
SQ772 From Singapore, joined Nov 2001, 1792 posts, RR: 5 Reply 12, posted (9 years 9 months 3 weeks 8 hours ago) and read 4253 times:
Methinks the plunging neckline has Airmale all hot and bothered
Yeah...but isn't it a bit contradictory that he feels the Singapore girls should get a decent neckline (I am assuming that he meant covering up ie. wearing turtle necks since he hails from Pakistan), and yet propose shortening the kebaya to skirts?
GotAirbus From Singapore, joined May 2001, 851 posts, RR: 1 Reply 14, posted (9 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 4191 times:
Airmale
SQ needs a more professional look for their crew, the Kebaya is shabby and makes them look like 'Singapore Maids' more than Singapore Girls, they should consider getting a decent neck line most of all and resort to a plain western Skirt with the present printed top or a plain top with the present Sarong.
No way you're getting to see their underwear, pervert!
(gotAirbus?)
(gotAIRBUS?) - (Got Commonality?) - (Have A Nice Flight!)
Docpepz From Singapore, joined May 2001, 1938 posts, RR: 3 Reply 15, posted (9 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 4218 times:
I think you have to be Singaporean to fully appreciate the following but here it is anyway!
Here are ten ways of knowing you're flying on Singapore Airlines' proposed new low budget airline...
10. No boarding pass is needed – you use your EZ Link card (but do remember to swipe out when you disembark).
9. They serve you Newater instead of champagne.
(Note: Newater is Singapore's answer to our water woes so that the nonsense with Malaysia over our water supply stops. It is basically treated sewage, to put it politely)
8. The world-famous “Singapore Girls” wear sarongs, instead of the famed “sarong kebaya”.
7. The “Singapore Girls” look like the cleaning ladies from the office (if you look closer, beyond the heavy make-up, they ARE the cleaning ladies from the office!)
6. There is no air-conditioning – to compensate, all windows remain open throughout the flight.
5. You have to bring your own food (although durians are still not allowed onboard despite (6) above).
4. The planes land on Sentosa Island (yet another way to boost tourism on that island).
3. The sole inflight entertainment is karaoke singing.
2. There is no such thing as first, business or economy class. In fact, there is no class.
1. The planes are flown by LRT (light rail transit) train drivers (but, wait a minute, you say: “There are no drivers on the LRT trains!” Exactly).
Docpepz From Singapore, joined May 2001, 1938 posts, RR: 3 Reply 16, posted (9 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 4180 times:
Air Beng: Budget Airline Launched
Posted on Sunday, June 15, 2003
Topic: Business
(i have edited the singlish out as much as possible but for you non singaporeans out there its a good chance for you to brush up on singlish!
Also, the Mr Chow in question in the article is a stereotype of a typical middle aged chinese-educated Singaporean who went through school before the seventies when the education system was overhauled and non-english language schools phased out... which is why he speaks like that!)
by Michael Bloombird
The persistent rumour that an unnamed businessman is launching a low budget airline (thus spurring Singapore Airlines to start planning one of its own) can finally be laid to rest.
Geylang (Singapore's red light district)-based entrepreneur Chow Ah Beng announced at a press conference today that Air Beng will be making its inaugural flights to red light destinations such as Hatyai, Phuket, Batam and Bintan.
Mr. Chow, who also pens an occasional advice column for TalkingCock.com and is also a lecturer in Geylang-based gangster university Hoot U, said that Air Beng will cater to travelers that go on regular trips to regional destinations which specialize mainly in adults-only recreational activities.
“You can say that they’re hard core travelers,” smiled Mr. Chow as he used his long last fingernail to dig his ear. “They especially like free and easy packages. Especially the easy type.”
Flight crews will be drawn largely from the staff at Mr. Chow’s other venture, the Cheap Buy Midnight KTV Launge along Geylang Lorong 69. For Singaporeans used to SIA’s Pierre Balmain-designed kebayas, Air Beng’s flight uniforms of navel-exposing tank tops, mini-skirts, fishnet stockings and stiletto heels may take some getting used to.
“Don’t call them air hostess or stewardess or this sort of shit,” said Mr. Chow, preferring that we refer to his flight attendants as ‘PROs’, or Plane Relations Officers. “I guarantee you plus two year warranty that we can provide better service than Singapore Airlines. My girls all have good history of servicing customer, one.”
“All the Singapore Girl stewardess only take good care of ang mor (white) passenger,” he continued with a scowl. “But my girls will love all, serve all. Easy come, easy go.”
At this juncture, one of the PROs did a very passionate demonstration of blowing into the tube to inflate one’s life jacket. (Many journalists in attendance requested private demonstrations after the press conference.)
Other distinguishing features of Air Beng will be its selection of in-flight entertainment. Mr. Chow said that Air Beng will not have any of the “see until sian” (see until sick of it) Hollywood fare most airlines provide. Instead, he will wait till the plane leaves Singapore airspace, and begin screening critically-acclaimed art house films, which he calls ‘flims’. (u know how some chinese people have problems with their pronounciation)
“All our flims very arty one. All R(A) and above,” he beamed. The ‘flims’ are all chosen by the programme managers at another of Mr. Chow’s companies, a mobile DVD/VCD retail distributor whose branches can often be found at bus interchanges or hastily set up tables in town centres.(referring to the pirates who sell porn DVDs) Passengers can look forward to watching titles such as ‘Monster’s Balls’, ‘Star Whores’, ‘XXX2: XXX-Men Molested’, ‘The Mattress’ and ‘The Mattress Reinflated’. There will even be local films such as ‘Honey No Enough’, ‘One Dick Licking’, and ‘I Not Turgid’.
Air Beng’s fleet of Fokker airplanes is not yet equipped to provide on-board games, but for the moment, Mr. Chow says “the PROs are willing to allow passengers to press their buttons while they play with your joystick.”
Mr. Chow didn’t seem to think Air Beng had anything to fear from other low cost carriers like Australia’s Virgin Blue or Malaysia’s AirAsia or even SIA’s as-yet-unannounced budget airline.
“I not scared of Virgin Blue,” said Mr. Chow. “They call themselves Virgin Blue, but they cannot actually provide any blue virgins, whereas we can, for the right price. And as for AirAsia, it runs completely on the hot air generated by Dr. Mahathir, and how long can that last?”
As for SIA, Mr. Chow said, “They can go fly kite!” (which is a term used in Singapore meaning they can go f off)
Ikarus From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 3524 posts, RR: 2 Reply 18, posted (9 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 hours ago) and read 4098 times:
Singapore_Air finally proves he has a sense of humour, even about his favourite airline, by posting a parody.... great
And then he gets slagged off and accused he took it seriously? He even posted the URL (anything including the word "cock" in the URL is so obviously not serious that not even Singapore_Air could have missed it!)
Anyway, was fun to read. Now if American Airlines (or was it United?) once saved several hundred thousand dollars per year by removing one olive from the first class meals, how much could airlines save by removing uniforms from the stewardesses? (Not the male F/As, pleeaaase! )
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