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If An Airline Was A Woman  
User currently offline727LOVER From United States of America, joined Oct 2001, 6439 posts, RR: 17
Posted (11 years 2 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 3337 times:

Hi all!

I did this post originally over a year ago. There's a lot of new members on here since then, or maybe you missed it the first time.

__________________________________________________________________
THESE WERE SOME OF MINE:

UNITED:

She used to be really wealthy, but now she's about to go on welfare



BRITISH AIRWAYS:

A stuffy old broad with her nose in the air



SOUTHWEST:

She's a cheap whore!!!



JETBLUE:

Cheap,yet so very sheik!! (Think Wal-mart with a touch of Saks 5th Ave.)

__________________________________________________________________

Somebody got pissed cause I called Southwest a cheap whore!
HEY! All the businessmen want to hop on her for a short ride. What else would you call that? Big grin


Here are some memorable responses from you guys:

AEROLINAS ARGENTINAS:
A divorced and brokenhearted woman who will do anything for money.

RYANAIR:
She really sucks.

VARIG:
Once a young and slim, from a latino traditional rich family, and now fat, old and totally broken.

AMERICAN:
The bully, fat and reddish hair girl who spanks the little and innocent ones and steals their lunch bags.

VALUJET:
Likes to get down and dirty (Thank Bigphilnyc for that one!)

AIR FRANCE:
Leading by example, that French women do not shave their armpits.

__________________________________________________________________

Remember those were by YOU, the members.

Do we have some new ones? Big grin




Listen Betty, don't start up with your 'White Zone' s*** again.
20 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineElwood64151 From United States of America, joined Feb 2002, 2477 posts, RR: 6
Reply 1, posted (11 years 2 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 3302 times:

AirTran:

Can you say plastic surgery?

Continental:

Classy Dame with an eye for elegance, but living in the wrong neighborhood (EWR).

Sorry to anyone living in Newark.



Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it in summer school.
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (11 years 2 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 3292 times:

JETBLUE:

Cheap,yet so very sheik!! (Think Wal-mart with a touch of Saks 5th Ave.)


Is B6 owned by Arabs now ?

The word you are looking for I think is "chic"

If you're going to mock the French, at least spell their words right  Wink/being sarcastic


User currently offlineLufthansa From Christmas Island, joined May 1999, 3213 posts, RR: 10
Reply 3, posted (11 years 2 weeks 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 3235 times:

Qantas
Strange mix between Hilliary Clinton and Nicole Kidman. Rouge is favourite colour too! She's good looking and intellegent, went to law school and has lots going for her but, she's stuck up, and went to an elitist girls school, and
now she's a sociallite who, if she really likes you will invite you to join her at her private country club, so you can share ideas on how to crush upstarts.

Cathay Pacific
Lucy Loo, Or Suzzie Wong...take ur pick She's dazzeling, razor shape
and moving forwad fast. Catches everybody's eyes as she goes past
but watch out, she's up to something, and dangerous and can kill a man
in a second if she needs to.

Air New Zealand
She's Joan of Arc....in and out of the southern Highlands around the fog and fighting with the boys getting all dirty down in the mud and everything.

South African Airways
Margart Thatcher... enough said

Lufthansa
She's is the only woman ever to rise to the position of Commander of the Luftwaffe. She's very beautiful, but can be cold, and is strict as hell. She once used to be a headmistress and carry around a thin black cane to discipline the unruly. She's a direct decendent of Helga the Viking, and to this day still secretly feels some pride when she hears Wagner's "ride of the Vulkeries"

SAS
She's a feminist, but not hardcore. She's atheltic, and a champion skier, and really cute too. She loves outdoors, and it's okay because she doesn't own a dress and wouldn't ever wear one on principle. But she still goes and parties and they still all chase her...just nobody knows exactly what do to.

KLM
Shes always clubbing and partying. She drinks, smokes pot and dirty dances with the boys. She came from a good family with plenty of cash, but the excessive lifestyle of her and her mother, who was once audrey heptburn like but has since fallen from grace (who is now devoiced) have dwindled all the money away.

Virgin Blue
She's a young girl and is a shop-a-holic. The trouble is she's not yet too sure how to support her excessive purchases so she's hooked up with a sugar daddy to finance her ways. Her good looks are very tempting, but after she gets your money she doesn't really do anything for u....she just goes shopping again

Virgin Atlantic
Strange mix of Eva Peron, Kylie Monogue and Princess Dianna. She's up there, she's got the stuff and she knows it. Shes blonde. New Money. The aristocrasy detest her, but she's the queen of hearts in the minds of the masses. She worked hard to get where she got but was bold enough to guareentee herself by sleeping her way to the top aswell. I guess, she's "more experienced than you might expect!" At times though, she gets far too drunk from too much champange on the way too New York and ends up falling out of the back of the limmo when she arrives at the Waldorf, hair messed up and makeup smudged.

British Airways
Qantas' Cousin. Not as dashingly enticing manner of Qantas, but still not a bad catch. A bit more pale in complection, but better financed and very well educated and connected. She plays polo. Mother is a stuffy old board who wants to fix her up the ugly dorky son of the Duke. Went to finishing school, does a very good job but tends to blurt out odd comments at inappropriate times.

Ryanair
Lesbian. Hates men outright and has no problem telling you it. Rough around the edges. Likes cheap and nasty beer and playing poker. Was a student protester at university, where her and fellow friends screamed obscenities out the window of their car at the establishment just for shock value and to get a reaction. Thinks there is some merit in communism but has no idea how to apply it. Has long had a secrete crush on Air New Zealand, because air new zealand is a pretty girl but still gets her hands dirty.

Alitalia
Has big red puffy hair, is a bit on the overwieght side and is dripping in gold jewlery. Looks somewhat like 'Sally' of Bold and the Beautiful. Periodically bursts into song after drinking too much red wine with her equally aging friends, reminising about their Golden days, when she was a young beautiful actress. Her husband divorced her because she tried to stabb him after she caught him cheating, she got a large divorce settlment but her husband was on the board of the TV channel and put an end to her career.

Thai International
Comes from a poor village. Brother is a drag queen, who has an old american boyfriend who paid for her to study english. She cooks tasty dishes, is gental and warm but is out to catch a western man on one of her trips, for the first of many many husbands.

Singapore Airlines
Alemda Marcos. She's got far too many shoes than she knows what to do with, but she's married to a facisit, who will keep her in her opulent ways. She drives a Mercedes, and will happily run down a begger given half the chance. But, she's got the right stuff, and in anycase, she's on top of the food chain so what are you going to do about it?


[Edited 2003-09-10 18:39:35]

[Edited 2003-09-10 18:45:33]

[Edited 2003-09-10 18:51:46]

User currently offlineMCIB757 From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 280 posts, RR: 1
Reply 4, posted (11 years 2 weeks 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 3165 times:

Lufthansa, haha, you must of spent a lot of time on that, good job.

Tom



"God bless catastrophe..."
User currently offlineRayPettit From United Kingdom, joined May 2002, 608 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (11 years 2 weeks 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 3142 times:

swiss

likes to party at all the most exclusive clubs but her sugar daddy is getting a bit fed up with her constant demands. Soon she will have to shop in the bargain basement store, as I don't think her new suitor is as generous as the last, and he has a very large whip to keep her in check.

Ryanair

unlike swiss, she tries to find her man in less glamorous surroundings. Quite often this can just be the local village hall and she even has to buy her own drinks!

Air Tahiti Nui

doesn't have a large wardrobe, but boy, does she have style....

Sibir Airlines

Maybe full of eastern promise, but like a woman, is often late for her date, or if in a really bad mood, just doesn't show at all....

Aeroflot

After years without going to her local boutique, the other gals have really put the pressure on lately and she's having trouble in finding the right outfit to go 'up west' in. Last time, her credit card couldn't cope and could only afford half an outfit. This time, she's upgraded to a silver card and things are looking better.

Emirates

Just buys bigger and bigger aircraft. Just goes to show that gals can have hareems full of guys too!

Ray


User currently offlineB747skipper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (11 years 2 weeks 1 day 17 hours ago) and read 3093 times:

Not too happy the way you describe Aerolineas Argentinas...
xxx
For me, I would use the name - a gracious "Tango Lady"...
xxx
Just an opinion... Happy contrails  Smile
(s) Skipper


User currently offlineSrbmod From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (11 years 2 weeks 1 day 17 hours ago) and read 3079 times:

Delta:
A Southern Belle that can charm men in an instant, but is also socially awkward when dealing with others. Switches friendships like some people switch on a light.


AirTran:
Was the ugly duckling that everyone teased when she was younger. As she has matured, she has grown into a moderately attractive woman. Sleek, but still trying to figure out what she wants.

EasyJet:
The village doorknob....Everyone gets a turn.

US Airways:
The loner chick in high school (wore combat boots with dresses, liked to dress outrageously), she changed her name to escape her past (and the bad memories), and now is trying to come to accept her past as part of who she is.

Aer Lingus:
A fiery Irish redhead, with a temper to match; think Maureen O'Hara in "The Quiet Man." Needs a man willing to put up with her moods in order to settle her down.




User currently offline727LOVER From United States of America, joined Oct 2001, 6439 posts, RR: 17
Reply 8, posted (11 years 2 weeks 1 day 17 hours ago) and read 3051 times:

B747skipper,

those were NOT my words, just repeating what somone else said in my year ago thread!  Smile



Listen Betty, don't start up with your 'White Zone' s*** again.
User currently offlineJgiardin From United States of America, joined Aug 2000, 45 posts, RR: 0
Reply 9, posted (11 years 2 weeks 1 day 17 hours ago) and read 3018 times:

America West:

Druggie Chick...misanthrope...hates the world...tried hard to fit in but could never seem to, so she has resorted to her present attitude. Stopped caring what other people think about her a while ago and just does her thing.


Northwest:

Grad Student at U of Minnesota...Trendy and also very kinky...likes to go portaging in the lakes of Minn., hangs out with athletic guys and has a best friend (KLM) who is a real european party animal!

American:

Snotty, rich girl who had a particular passion for spending money, but has discovered the family's coffers are not as deep as she thought.

Southwest:

Cheap, easy but enjoys giving a good ride. Not really pretty, but good enough through beer goggles or when you are in a pinch.

US Airways:

Pretty girl but kind of shy...very booksmart but lacks common sense. Went to one of the seven sister schools, and is now a writer living in Arlington, Virginia. Has a lukewarm freindship with United.






User currently offlineJoge From Finland, joined Feb 2000, 1444 posts, RR: 39
Reply 10, posted (11 years 2 weeks 1 day 16 hours ago) and read 2977 times:

I would just like to add here that Air France uses the same makeup for the next 20 years and never goes to the shower...  Big grin

-Joge



Bula!
User currently offlineGoAround From United Kingdom, joined Jul 2003, 616 posts, RR: 0
Reply 11, posted (11 years 2 weeks 1 day 16 hours ago) and read 2947 times:

Virgin...
...the name says it all, though she's always willing to try something new  Big grin

GoAround



GoAround
User currently offlineEmiratesA345 From Canada, joined Jun 2003, 2123 posts, RR: 8
Reply 12, posted (11 years 2 weeks 1 day 15 hours ago) and read 2884 times:

Polskie Linie Lotnicze LOT Polish Airlines

A middle aged drunk Polish woman with bleached blonde hair. The roots are clearly visible to be dark black. Her eye shadow is bright blue and her lipstick is bright pink.

EmiratesA345  Laugh out loud



You and I were meant to fly, Air Canada!
User currently offlineJafa From United States of America, joined Aug 2003, 782 posts, RR: 4
Reply 13, posted (11 years 2 weeks 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 2805 times:

Delta Airlines: an good looking fifty year old woman who lies about her age. She has always worn proper dresses in dark colors. In a bit of a mid life crisis, she dresses in more fashionable bright colors. If this weekend experiment is successful she might wear these new clothes to work. She has cosmetic surgery scheduled for October. ALthough sexually conservative she tried a three and liked it. Now she wants to try an orgy. She is to smart for an outright marriage.

Northwest Airlines: she is from North Dakota, but was educated in Washington state. She is financially conservative. She likes to drive older cars because they work just fine. Some people don't like her very much cause they think she is mean. That is until they meet her in person and they discover she is really not that different from anyone else. Everyone knows her for the red lipstick that she wears. She has recently switched to a brighter shade. Although she likes lipstick, she stopped wearing makeup to save money. She is enjoying a love affair with her Dutch lover. She is considering a relationship with a certain southern belle she recently met. She loves sushi (no pun intended).

UsAirways: She went on a shopping spree and had a facelift, and then couldn't pay her bills. So she declared bankruptcy. She has penchant for new foriegn cars. SHe might just end in back in bankruptcy court. We like her and hope she doesn't. She needs a husband, she can't make it on her own.

American: She wears leather suits and does what she wants. She is the worlds largest woman and loves to throw her weight around. She is a cannibal and eats up other women that shes finds threatening for lunch and throws the bones out the window not caring where they land. She has worn they same suit for many years now, but then again leather never goes out of style. She does not like to wear much makeup on her face. Some people love her house, cause it has more room.

United: Usairways cousin. They tried to get married once but her partner had too much similar DNA. THey never got the marriage lincense. Ever since then life has been bad. She is currently at the Betty Ford Clinic and since she can't work is also bankrupt. She was once the worlds biggest woman, but has lost a lot of weight. She wants to have a baby girl named Starfish but everyone thinks its a bad idea considering her bad health.

TWA: recently eaten by a cannibal. May she rest in peace.

America West: a tough young party girl, she has a place in Phoenix and Las Vegas. She knows how to fight to protect her corner. Her corner is in a bad neighborhood, the johns don't pay her good money for her services.

Jetblue: just moved into town. Everyone wants to meet her. THere is not enough time in the day for her to meet everyone. A civilized young thing with class, but she hasn't been around long enough for us to really know. She has a staff of maids that are paid with rice. But her hose is full of all the lastest electronic equipment. She never serves food at her parties.


[Edited 2003-09-11 04:50:08]

User currently offlineMandala499 From Indonesia, joined Aug 2001, 6876 posts, RR: 75
Reply 14, posted (11 years 2 weeks 18 hours ago) and read 2719 times:

Here's one from Indonesia...

JATAYU:
Just like a nagging spoilt old girl... She loves the colour pink *sorry but the pic has a hybrid c/s aircraft...*
She's fussy (PK-JGW breaks down at the same destination everymonth, dunno about how it performs at other ports)
She's cheap ! *cheapest fares around the country*
She's old... (old aircraft)



Pink c/s, pink cars, pink uniform, even a PINK SUITCASE (the F/A on the far right)... Hell, I bet their uniform includes pink underwear!

Mandala499



When losing situational awareness, pray Cumulus Granitus isn't nearby !
User currently offlineMandala499 From Indonesia, joined Aug 2001, 6876 posts, RR: 75
Reply 15, posted (11 years 2 weeks 18 hours ago) and read 2692 times:

Damn, let me repost with smaller pic...

Here's one from Indonesia...

JATAYU:
Just like a nagging spoilt old girl... She loves the colour pink !



She's fussy (PK-JGW breaks down at the same destination everymonth, dunno about how it performs at other ports)
She's cheap ! *cheapest fares around the country*
She's old... (old aircraft)



Pink c/s, pink cars, pink STAIRS, pink uniform, even a PINK SUITCASE (the F/A on the far right)... Hell, I bet their uniform includes pink underwear!

Mandala499



When losing situational awareness, pray Cumulus Granitus isn't nearby !
User currently offlineDragogoalie From Australia, joined Oct 2001, 1220 posts, RR: 6
Reply 16, posted (11 years 2 weeks 18 hours ago) and read 2656 times:

Hell, I bet their uniform includes pink underwear!

why dont you do a research project on that and let us know  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

--dragogoalie-#88--



Formerly known as Jap. Srsly. AUSTRALIA: 2 days!
User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 19230 posts, RR: 52
Reply 17, posted (11 years 2 weeks 18 hours ago) and read 2646 times:

British European

This woman has a real identity crisis (hence such a wide variety of outfits) and is, perhaps, quite insecure. She never really knows where she is heading and often dumps her boyfriend in favour of a new one - until she decides that she wants another. An unsettled woman, but one that might, at last, be ready for commitment. A potential winner in lurrrrve.



"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
User currently offlineSunValley From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (11 years 2 weeks 14 hours ago) and read 2538 times:

Mr. SkyWest, a cheap dime gigolo working the backstreets of Utah and Arizona, and wanted to be grown up for so long, then he met a dime whore from Palm Springs by the name of Ms SunAire to which he started a relationship and Ms SunAire died a slow agonizing death, then he met and married Ms Western, later divorced, and along came Ms Delta, to which he quickly engaged and Ms Delta became his 1st wife. But being located in Utah, and the rampant Polygamy that was around him, he took on another wife by the name of Ms United and began strutting his stuff up and down the West Coast. Ms United and Ms Delta became sister wives of sorts, exchanging frequent flyer programs, club rooms etc., until Ms United Started seeing a lesbian lover by the name of Ms US Airways. This polygamist Mr Skywest then took on Ms Continental in a less impressive manner than with Ms United. Ms Delta got jelous and ended speaking to Ms United, although they are still married to the same guy. The elders of the LDS Temple in SLC are not taking too kind to him cause he imbibes in selling Alcohol without requiring his guests to buy a club membership- however its ok when he struts his stuff in Denver & Houston. There is talk in SLC that his woman Ms Delta might pick up
, and move to DIA if her sister wife Ms United should stumble. But what the heck, Mr Skywest will take on another wife perhaps Ms USAirways in the very near future.


User currently offlineBhill From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 975 posts, RR: 0
Reply 19, posted (11 years 2 weeks 13 hours ago) and read 2525 times:

Air France: It's a Bitch being poor AND arrogant!!

Cheers,

Bob



Carpe Pices
User currently offlineDispatch From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (11 years 2 weeks 13 hours ago) and read 2507 times:

If An Airline Was A Woman
I would definitely NOT tell you what I would do, because my reply would be deleted a few minutes later Big grin Big grin Big grin

Peter


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