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Aviation One-Liners And Catch Phrases  
User currently offlineBigphilnyc From United States of America, joined Jan 2002, 4076 posts, RR: 54
Posted (10 years 10 months 2 hours ago) and read 22782 times:

"In the event of a water landing, use your seat as a floatation device."

I think that's hysterical becuase if you land it he water, the only thing your yellow seat cushion will do is let the search party find your body.

On that cheerful note, lol, what are some other catch phrases or one-liners that pertain to the industry? You know, those "Seat i the upright position" kinda things. Funny ones are good too.  Smile

-Phil


Phil Derner Jr.
10 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineGoboeing From United States of America, joined Jun 2000, 2683 posts, RR: 14
Reply 1, posted (10 years 10 months 2 hours ago) and read 22760 times:

If you show me your static port, I'll show you my pitot tube!

User currently offlineFutureualpilot From United States of America, joined May 2000, 2602 posts, RR: 8
Reply 2, posted (10 years 10 months 1 hour ago) and read 22750 times:

I hold nothing against anyone, these are j
ust things Ive heard over the years:

A good landing is one you walk away from, and great landing is one when you can re-use the equipment!

How do you know when you are talking to a jet pilot? He(or she) will tell you!

When talking to a pilot, dont ask of they fly jets, if they do they'll tell you and if not, dont humiliate them!

When the last Blackhawk goes to the boneyard it will be on a sling under a Huey!

1 grease landing is luck and skill, 2 is pure luck, 3 in a row and somebody is lying.

Its better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here

The most useless things to a pilot are:
Fuel in the truck
Airspeed you dont have
Altitude above you


You start flying with an empty bag of experience and a full bag of luck. The trick is to fill your bag of experience before you empty your bag of luck.

When talking to a pilot decrease the speeds they give you by 10%. When talking to a Navy pilot decrease by 30%.


The time you have to connect is inversly proportional to the number of children and baggage you have.

The temperature of the coffee is directly proportional to the strength of the turbulence.

Pilot error: the NTSB's way of covering thier own arse when they cant find the true cause of the accident

If God had ment man to fly he would have given him a bigger wallet.

A night carrier landing is a good chance to experience a great orgasim, a good crap and an adrenaline rush all rolled into one


A helicopter is nothing but 10,000 parts all trying to fly in seperate directions


2 similartiies between ATC and pilots:
If the pilot screws up, the pilot dies
If ATC screws up, the pilot dies


Whats the difference between flying in the daytime and in the night?
Nothing, except at night you cant see squat!

1 grease landing will make up for 10 crappy ones





Life is better when you surf.
User currently offlineMeister808 From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 973 posts, RR: 1
Reply 3, posted (10 years 9 months 4 weeks 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 22695 times:

Holy crap, those are funny.

-Meister



Twin Cessna 812 Victor, Minneapolis Center, we observe your operation in the immediate vicinity of extreme precipitation
User currently offlineKateAV8 From United States of America, joined Sep 2003, 99 posts, RR: 4
Reply 4, posted (10 years 9 months 4 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 22655 times:

My flight instructor told me this one:

What's the difference between a pilot and God?

God doesn't think He's a pilot.

 Laugh out loud








The only justification for looking down on someone is to help them up
User currently offlineHaanZ From New Zealand, joined May 2000, 171 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (10 years 9 months 4 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 22650 times:

Helicopters can't fly. They're just so ugly the earth repels them.

User currently offlineKateAV8 From United States of America, joined Sep 2003, 99 posts, RR: 4
Reply 6, posted (10 years 9 months 4 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 22639 times:

HaanZ that's a good one! Hehehehhhhhh...  Big thumbs up


The only justification for looking down on someone is to help them up
User currently offlineManairport From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (10 years 9 months 4 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 22638 times:

What's the difference between a pilot and a jet engine? Eventually the engine stops whining!

User currently offlineVH-KCT* From Australia, joined May 2001, 479 posts, RR: 2
Reply 8, posted (10 years 9 months 4 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 22641 times:

Captain: "Yaw Damper"
Co-Pilot: "My Damper?"

Captain: "Feather 1 Engine"
Co-Pilot: "Which one?"

Captain: "Cheer Up!"
Co-Pilot raises gear

ATC: "Say Level"
Captain: "Level"


And seen on Maintenance Release:

Pilot: Evidence of oil leak
Engineer: Evidence removed

Pilot: Autoland Unserviceable
Engineer: No autoland installed on aircraft

Pilot: Plane flying funny
Engineer: Plane given good talking to and told to get serious

Pilot: No. 2 engine missing (meaning unserviceable)
Engineer: No. 2 engine found after brief search



I am The Stig
User currently offlineStartvalve From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (10 years 9 months 4 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 22520 times:

I always liked:

"if it has wings or a skirt you can't afford it"

sort of my life story condensed to one line


User currently offlineFedExDC-10 From United States of America, joined Aug 2000, 196 posts, RR: 2
Reply 10, posted (10 years 9 months 4 weeks 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 22477 times:

VH-KCT:

Adding to your "Say level:"

ATC: Say Heading
Captain: Heading
ATC: Say cancel IFR
Captain's immediate response: FL___ and heading ___


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