KBUF737 From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 779 posts, RR: 4 Reply 8, posted (9 years 3 days 14 hours ago) and read 9932 times:
Ummm.......4000 gallons of Jet A please, and squeege this windows if you dont mind. Also if you could check the tire pressure and hydraulic fluid please. You can put it on my F/O's credit card when you are done.
UnitedTristar From United States of America, joined May 2004, 1251 posts, RR: 4 Reply 17, posted (9 years 3 days 14 hours ago) and read 9827 times:
After a long flight captain smith couldn't find his airsick bag and simply opened the window and puked down the side of the plane, much to the dismay of the ground crew standing below!
-m
Welcome aboard United Airlines L1011 Friendship Service to Osaka!
Henpol747 From Mexico, joined Jun 2001, 587 posts, RR: 1 Reply 24, posted (9 years 3 days 14 hours ago) and read 9735 times:
Weren´we supposed to have a wing on the left side too?!
Vive la France! ¡Viva México!
25 SlamClick: "Twelve blades!" (You old timers will know what I'm talking about.)
26 Erj170: ya'll, I dropped my contact.. can somebody go get it for me.. I can see it from here.. I just need somebody to go and get it.. somebody? anybody? ya'l
27 Henpol747: Erj170: Sorry, but what does "Twelve blades" mean?
28 Flairport: Captain to FO: "Yes, it is red!" or: "I thought I flew for jetBlue, not jetRed!"
29 Qb001: "I see just one engine under the wing... Yep, we're flying the 330 today!"
30 Erj170: Beats the bejeezus out of me.. SlamClick.. I don't think we are old timers.. what are twelve blades?
31 Espion007: yea can i get the directions to DCA?Ive seen to landed somewhere different... ....yea,yea, so exit 2B from I495 south right?
34 Atrude777: capt: GOD DAMN IT!!!! SOMEONE KEYED MY PLANE!! I WANNA KNOW WHO WAS THE BASTARD THAT DID IT!!!! Ramp agent- sure as hell wasnt me.. capt: oh yeah?!?!?
35 StearmanNut: Lotta fun taxiing around like this, my head out in the breeze, but OHHH!!! Those dang Junebugs!
36 InnocuousFox: [unseen driver]"Hey... does that thing got a hemi-?" [pilot]"Yep!"
37 Alphascan: "Would somebody please get that bull away from my airplane!!!! Damn I hate these Madrid stops."
38 7574EVER: "I swear I put the full toll in the receptacle!" - Leelaw Aw, screw this! I'm gettin IPASS!
39 NWADC9: Is anybody looking? No? Okay, FLOOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
40 Continental: "Wow, we must be flying real high!"
41 Maharajah: Are you done changing the tires? We have taken a long pit stop. Can we leave now?
42 LGB Photos: Ok, where are the keys to start this thing? Did I drop them down below??
43 Nealcg: Nooo siiirrr officer...I haven;t been drinking today...BURP...hiccup.
44 Tasha: DIA... LOL!!!! that is it exactly!!! Tasha
46 Freshlove1: Just for fun.........LETS NOT!!!!!!
47 Flybynight: Should there be a pair of legs sticking out of the engine like that?
48 AWspicious: "Damn! That's one hot looking flight attendant!"
49 KBUF737: We really need more E-ZPass lanes for these afternoon delays.
50 DLKAPA: Hey guys, guess what? My pax are the playboy bunnies, wanna come see?
51 Aerotech: The 12 blades refers to starting a radial engine.
52 ZKSUJ: "Why the hell did you park that tug infront of my plane?"
53 Oly720man: "OK, you use this thing on the left to go up and down, left and right, and those things in the middle to go faster and slower? Right, got it. OK, wher
62 SAS330GOT: " eeeewwwwhhh, excuse me could you come in and show me where on the map we are?" "Ohh, you are right it is all shiny and new" SAS330GOT
63 ND: "I did not, repeat, did not just swallow a man in the engine."
64 7E72004: "Check out that brunette that just went by!" "I think i just lost a contact!"
65 JGPH1A: "Greenland ? Nah, mate - this ones going to Crete. You want the number 37, be along in a minute"
66 RaginMav: (captain) "Yeah, I had this baby up to Mach 3 the other day" (ramp worker) "You can't go Mach 3 in an A330!" (captain) "Well I shaved with a Mach 3, w
68 MD80Nut: "Pheew! Man, you got to do something about that body odor!" "Awww, shit! Somebody keyed my Airbus!" "... and I'll have some onion rings and a Coke wit
69 Mriya: These are so great! Photo captions should be a regular feature on here. "Hey, KLM 738.... wanna race?" /too early in the morning for anything better
70 SlamClick: Okay, for those who asked about reply 25: "twelve blades" was a call often used when cranking up a radial engine. The pilot on that side would look ou
71 MD80Nut: Here's some more I thought up: "Cool, you can see down her top from up here!" "Oh great, I spend all morning waxing this thing and there's a smudge al
72 Mozart: "Hey, missy, shall I take you for a ride? No? Hey, c'mon, let me at least have your phone number!"
73 KLM777: "Yeah yeah, I know my skin color matches the aircraft color, now stop your silly jokes and get back to work ramper"
74 RaginMav: "$3 in tolls to drive 10 miles, and they still can't fix the damn pot holes!!!" (astonished captain) "I didn't know Southwest birds had winglets!!!" "
75 WJA73G: This guy's face is turning as red as his plane!! WJA73G
77 Mikesairways: "Errr...gee Mrs. Jones, i'm sorry about your cat there..."
78 Lufthansa: The captain is a QF captain, on pushback from BNE, which is also Virginblue hub. "Holy shit, BLOODY RICHARD BRANSON!!!!" News paper reads: Last night
79 Hirisk: damn dropped the keys.i suppose i could hotwire this thing......zap.... maybe not! or did you see those AF stewardesses! WOW!!!!!!
80 Iberia340600: "Damn roadkill....that one sure made a mess!!"
81 LTBEWR: Damm, I scraped a wheel on the curb, these parking spaces are too tight! Engine on port side, check, wing on port side, check... Excuse me sir, could
82 Elwood64151: "Damnit! I forgot to put the gas cap back on!" "Wow... Pennies really do kill when dropped from altitude." "(hauggh-cck!) P-Tooey!" First Officer: "Re
83 AGrayson514: I've always been bad at parallel parking... First Officer: "Cap'n, we need to get off at the next exit, so you need to switch lanes!" Cap'n: "Oy, Hey,
84 KYAir: "CLEAR PROP!!!" or "Does this plane make me look fat? Be honest."
85 Skydrolboy: "Hey Bob, I'll take the skinny one, you can have the ugly one" "Oh crap, the mechanic is walking towards our plane with the duct tape again"
86 SkyWestFan: Capt: " I told them a million times, Air Greenland aircraft are GREEN......Damnit we're at war with Air France and the rest of those jerks. We NEED CA
87 Big777jet: "Hey ramp worker, can you give me a direction to runway 1R? I couldn't figure it out where the runway is at. I lost my airport chart map."
88 CVG777: "No, I'm not really a pilot.....but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night." "I'm going on vacation! I'm going on vacation! Oh, I'm sorry. I d
89 N751PR: Pilot: Damn those F/As posing for Playboy on my number 1 engine... F/O: Um Dave, you have the best seat in the house... Pilot: Well yeah but.....hey G
90 MIAspotter: BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP (as in the reverse alarm in trucks) Captain: Ok easssy....easyyy just a bit more... a bit more... straighten up... Excel
93 Texasflyer: WOAH! I think somebody ate some bad food in their, I can barely breath. I might have to fly like this the whole flight if I wanna breath.
94 Asteriskceo: "Hmmm? I don't see any trees to crash into...were clear!"
95 Daedalus: F/O: "OK, OK, dont climb out! Ill call you Skipper and you can call me Gilligan."
96 NW7E7: "Is that a scratch??!!! I just got this baby painted!!!!"
97 CruzinAltitude: "Hey Bob, your right, that is fun! Now I understand why every dog riding in a car does it!"
98 Cpt Underpants: "Full left, full right, neutral. Geez, this new control check procedure is a pain in the ass!" or, "Man, another new paint scheme for Skyservice. I re
101 Cumulonimbus: Time to get the bags and Duct Tape!!
102 StanstedFlyer: F/O: " Why can't you just comb your hair like the rest of us! You have to be different and go for the windswept look."
103 7E72004: "Damn it, some pulled a hit and run...look at that dent!"
104 JosAron: This plane looks like a bloody hemmeroid..Put some Preperation H in that jet fuel!
105 Brettbrett21: ''Can I have two Big mac meals, two coffees and an apple pie?" or...... "So thats second right and left at the traffic lights??" Brett
106 BR715-A1-30: "Twelve Blades" is what they used to start Piston Prop engines, such as the "Connie" engines. Once the 3 blades rotated 4 times, they were supposed to
107 Flyinround731: Reminds me of "Airplane" when they were at the gate at LAX and the pilot puts down the window to give the maintainence guy his credit card to pay for
108 Na: No, officer, I swear, I didn´t see the 55 mph sign. 50 bucks? Gal, that´s more than in Las Vegas!
109 YooYoo: Left Wing?..."Check" !! "I thought we would be higher by now ?" "MY GUM !!" Andreas
110 LY7E7: This is all so funny now try this one : http://www.airliners.net/discussions/non_aviation/read.main/587916/
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