AirTran737 From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 3690 posts, RR: 12 Posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 9011 times:
Last week in MKE one of the TSA's finest got his hand caught in the CTX machine. After wasting the time of the Police, Fire Department, and Airport Ops they were finally able to free him after ten minutes. But it doesn't end there. After being freed from the machine the EMT's strapped him to a gurnee and took him to the hospital. Glad to know that the 9/11 fees that passengers are paying are going to good use. And these clowns are making sure our skies are safe? I've got a retarded uncle who could do a better job than these guys.
Anyone else have any funny TSA stories to share?
Nice Trip Report!!! Great Pics, thanks for posting!!!! B747Forever
Ntspelich From United States of America, joined Aug 2003, 764 posts, RR: 0
Reply 1, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 8904 times:
I work on the ramp, so I carry a bin pin with me on my key chain. A couple of weeks ago, I decided to go get something to eat on a different concourse, which meant that I had to go out through security and then onto that concourse through their TSA checkpoint. Then the genius working the x-ray machine informed me that I couldn't keep my bin pins, as they were weapons. I guess that the shape threw them off. So, I politely tried to explain what it was for, but they were just oblivious, I don't even think that the two of them in that lane knew there were cargo doors on planes. So after getting some blank stares, I just blurted out "It's the key to the plane."
"The key to the plane? Why do you have one?" they replied.
"In case we ever need to move one. We all carry them."
"Well, you should have just said that to begin with."
And that is why I don't feel any safer.
United 717 heavy, you're facing the wrong way. Any chance you can powerback to get off of my deice pad?
Airgeek12 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 8863 times:
Haha. That's very funny Ntspelch. Ya, some TSA emplyees can be real idiots. They like work at a place they know nothing about! :p. I have to many stories about TSA idiots like mentioned but they're not nearly as good as the ones you already have! :p I'm not even sure if I can remember them.
Fewsolarge From United States of America, joined Dec 2004, 409 posts, RR: 0
Reply 3, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 8843 times:
What ticks me off is a regular occurrence: We all know that some shoes are soft and won't set off the scanner, and that some need to be X-rayed. I come up to the front of the line, and the agent says something like, "We recommend removing your shoes." I might come back with, "I know these won't set off the scanner." Then the agent says, "We strongly recommend removing your shoes." The circus continues until it's obvious that the intent is not a recommendation, but an imperative wrapped in customer-service speak. I have no problem conforming to the imperatives of a government authority, but if they're going to frame it up as an option, I'm going to feel free to choose.
If anyone at the TSA is reading this, I "recommend" a training intervention to tell agents to cut to the chase if they are issuing a command.
Cactus739 From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 2430 posts, RR: 31
Reply 5, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 6 hours ago) and read 8710 times:
Couple of weeks ago at work I slipped on a wet floor and bruised my leg up, almost hit my head on the counter too on the way down. It was an accident, just like the TSA guy's... does that make me an idiot too?
Ckfred From United States of America, joined Apr 2001, 5067 posts, RR: 1
Reply 6, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 6 hours ago) and read 8702 times:
If anyone at TSA gives me grief about my shoes, I simply say, "They don't set off the metal detectors at O'Hare." That usually gets the screener to shut up.
But here's the one that takes the cake. My wife forgot to take off her shoes at ATL and set off the detector. She was carrying our 5-month-old son. They asked if he was a boy or a girl. When she said he was a boy, they went scrambling to find a male screener, even though my wife said that wasn't necessary.
Then, the screeners got irritated that I wasn't there to hold our son while she was being wanded. The fact that I had to get into a different line, because the stroller was too big to fit through that lane's x-ray machine didn't impress them.
When I rolled up the stroller to put him in, I even got asked if I always go into a different line to have the stroller x-rayed. I said only when the x-ray machine it too small, and rather than put up a sign to that effect, you have screeners who try to stuff strollers like meatcutters stuffing sausage casings.
AirTran737 From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 3690 posts, RR: 12
Reply 7, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 6 hours ago) and read 8663 times:
Actually that would have been freakin hilarious to see. The point that I was trying to convey is that this guy was such a baby that once he got unstuck from the machine that he got caught in, he was strapped to a gurnee and taken to the hospital. Rub some dirt on it and get back out there.
I know exactly what you're talking about. I keep a bypass pin on my lanyard in case we have lose one. While going through checkpoint one day the screener tried to take it from me saying that it was not legal to carry through checkpoint. A screening supervisor go involved and said that I couldn't have it also. I simply took it back, bypassed security, and waved at the screener when I was back in the terminal. These guys were trying to take a tool that is essential to my job away from me. The TSA needs to get better quality employees. Maybe when the carnival comes to town this summer they will be able to recruit some new screeners.
Nice Trip Report!!! Great Pics, thanks for posting!!!! B747Forever
Isitsafenow From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 4984 posts, RR: 24
Reply 8, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 8526 times:
About the shoes bit at security, I beat them to the punch and take them off and place them in the plastic bid before they say take em off.
One TSA fellow told me in conversation they weren't necessarily looking for just metal shanks anymore but, as he put it, "other things as well". This advance move gets me through the drill a lot quicker then the guy behind me saying "why?" and "be extra careful of my laptop..its very expensive". No kidding.
The less you say to TSA, the quicker you are on your way...
Hey, that rhymes.....LOL
If two people agree on EVERYTHING, then one isn't necessary.
THVGJP From Ukraine, joined Mar 2002, 158 posts, RR: 0
Reply 10, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 3 hours ago) and read 8418 times:
Yeah, read my post about the presidential inaguration.
As I stated I had good seats and these rent a cops only gave us a cursory pat down and didnt have enough women agents to chck al the females. They were totally out of their element and had the deer in the headlight look. I guess once you take them out of the airport environment they loose their ability to think. As I said no metal detectors at all,no shoes off no strip searches only a slight patdown of outer garments, glad to know our Presidents save with these goofs around
AirWillie6475 From United States of America, joined Jan 2005, 2448 posts, RR: 1
Reply 11, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day ago) and read 8280 times:
Look TSA has a tough job. They have to be suspicious of every person. Yes, even little Kelly with her teddy bear. Please give them a break. And if they ask for you to takeoff the shoes, its not the end of the world.
APFPilot1985 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day ago) and read 8250 times:
I will agree that quite a bit of them are pretty dumb and I have family members who are screeners. The government really fu*ked up making the TSA. They came up with a bunch of rules that didnt make any sense and tried to hustle it all togther by just rehiring the same screeners but giving them a government job instead. What they should have done was taken their time, used the national guard until they got it set up and had an actual police force doing the screenings.
Cedarjet From United Kingdom, joined May 1999, 7930 posts, RR: 54
Reply 14, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 8230 times:
I'm sure most people working for the TSA are idiots. We have had pro security here in the UK for decades and the difference is very noticeable. However my main beef isn't with them, it's selfish passengers who hold the line up by not being ready. Guys and girls, it's simple: put everything in the pockets of your top coat, put the coat on the belt in a wide tray on top of your handluggage and follow it with your shoes, which you took off at the beginning of the line. After walking through the Xray machine, get your stuff and move away, so you're not blocking anyone when you redistribute the small change into pants pockets and put shoes back on.
Same applies to having your ATM card ready when you get to the machine, and having your tube ticket in your hand when you get to the barrier.
fly Saha Air 707s daily from Tehran's downtown Mehrabad to Mashhad, Kish Island and Ahwaz
Airgeek12 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 15, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 8205 times:
Ok, I take back everything I said and thought earlier. I was out of line.
Every adult makes his/her own mistakes, and they can even be embarrsing. Making embarrasing mistakes and stuff dosen't make you an idiot; or else we'd ALL be idiots. Bottom line = We all make mistakes and aren't as knowelgable as we could/should be. That dosen't make us idiots - it makes us human.
NASCARAirforce From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 3150 posts, RR: 5
Reply 16, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 8203 times:
I carry a Pearl drum key since I am a drummer, it is used for tightening the skins on the drums. It looks nothing like a weapon for anyone who has ever seen one. Yet everytime I fly out of DTW (only DTW, never any other airport) they sit there for a half hour looking at it and call 2 or 3 more guys over to stare at it confused before letting me go through.
Jetstar From United States of America, joined May 2003, 1616 posts, RR: 10
Reply 17, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 8127 times:
As a sometimes road warrior, I have been through TSA over a hundred times since they took over from the incompetent private screeners and I never have had a problem with them, they have a tough job to do which is to protect the air travelers with the least intrusion. Nobody likes to have anyone intrude into their personnel belongings or be questioned about what the passenger might think is a trivial item.
I realize they are not perfect and some have rough edges, but by far and large I feel they have done a good job. I never want to go back to the way it was before the TSA and if I have to take my shoes, jacket and sweater off, to me that is a small price to pay
To prevent any problems I take off any metal I have on including my belt. I have never set off the metal detector and on only a few occasions has my carry on been opened for inspection. Only once have I been selected for secondary screening because of a random selection SSSS on my boarding pass.
It is the people who argue or debate the screeners who are the idiots, because they slow the line down and make it rough on everyone else. The TSA has a job to do and to someone who is carrying an object they are not sure of, they take the side of precaution.
If I was a TSA screener, I would not know what a bin pin is if it was floating in my soup and even if I was told what it is by an employee, I would take the side of precaution and not allow it to go through security unless someone with authority would vouch for it. If this item is normally carried through security by airline employees, then it should be up to the airlines to identify what this item is to the TSA and have pictures posted at the screening area for the screeners to compare it with.
Since anyone who wanted to can get or make an airline ramp uniform and make a phony ID, not stopping them with a questionable item would make it easy for a terrorist to smuggle a weapon on board an airplane.
I say quit the griping about the TSA, obey the rules, don’t carry questionable items, let the TSA do their job and everyone will be much happier.
L-188 From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 29699 posts, RR: 59
Reply 18, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 8088 times:
Once again the TSA's own employee's show what a bunch of screwheads they truely are.
I am still looking for somebody to tell my why the oath I took when I joined the US Army to defend the US "Against all enemies forgine and DOMESTIC doesn't authorized me to........well I'll let you figure it out.
Lets just say they clearly are an enemy domestic IMHO.
Airlines will continue not to receive my money while those morons are above the law.
OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
Piedmontbrat From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 8066 times:
My guess is that there are probably about 3500 9/11 victims as well as the soldiers who have been killed in our adventure in Iraq that would love to have the ability to take their shoes off, empty their pockets, explain a drum key or any number of other things that seem to tick us off when we pass thru TSA security. I've averaged about 4 flights per week since Jan 1 and have never encountered a rude or discourteous TSA person.
As a matter of fact, I've found them to be friendly and appreciative of a smile and a thank you.
Some of our traveling public seem to have been under some kind of rock for the past 4 years and I am convinced that there are certain folks flying today who shouldn't even be allowed in an airport, much less and airplane!
If the TSA security screening is the worst thing you have to encounter during your day, you better count your blessings!
ATL2CDG From United States of America, joined Jan 2002, 296 posts, RR: 11
Reply 21, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 8042 times:
I think the claimed "stupidity" of TSA screeners is directly proportional to the actual stupidity and arrogance of the traveler making the claims.
Quoting L-188 (reply 18): Airlines will continue not to receive my money while those morons are above the law.
The Department of Homeland Security mandates the operations and practices of TSA airport screeners. To fault U.S. commercial air carriers for the actions of federal employees, and to thus refuse to travel on them (thereby depriving them of revenue) is asinine.
Quoting APFPilot1985 (reply 12): I will agree that quite a bit of them are pretty dumb and I have family members who are screeners. The government really fu*ked up making the TSA. They came up with a bunch of rules that didnt make any sense and tried to hustle it all togther by just rehiring the same screeners but giving them a government job instead. What they should have done was taken their time, used the national guard until they got it set up and had an actual police force doing the screenings.
I'm glad to see that a 20-year-old amateur pilot who claims in a single sentence that his relatives who are screeners are "dumb" feels educated enough to critique screening guidelines established by individuals with hundreds of cumulative years experience in the security field. It is also interesting to see him support the diverting of combat-trained national guard personnel from wartime activities to civilian screening with which they have NO training.
And as generally contained in a good number of posts on this thread, as long as you continue to show contempt for those people who are charged with ensuring your safety, I doubt you'll encourage them to put you on a pedestal and kiss your shoeless feet.
Boeing73G From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 22, posted (9 years 1 month 3 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 8040 times:
Simple, but it happens too often: Directing you to the lane with the longest line.
But my problem is this with the TSA: not enough people to handle the amount of people that go through an airport, but that is only when they check boarding passes and ID's at the security checkpoint (luckily at SEA's C concourse they have TWO people doing that job!)
Just let the TSA do their jobs, though, although maybe not in the most efficent manner.