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Funny And Amusing Cabin Announcements  
User currently offlineAussieindc From United States of America, joined Jul 2005, 437 posts, RR: 0
Posted (9 years 2 months 1 week 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 3697 times:

Does anyone have any that they would like to share?

10 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineASMD80 From United States of America, joined May 2005, 126 posts, RR: 0
Reply 1, posted (9 years 2 months 1 week 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 3650 times:

Not a cabin announcement, but a good joke:

http://www.skyhighairlines.com/tracker.asp

Enter a name and you will find out where the bags went! But, read the disclaimer:

Quote:
Be glad your bags get to visit such neat places. Apparently, Alaska Airlines is really into keeping your bags with you wherever you go. How completely lame is that?

A cabin announcement:
http://www.angelfire.com/hi/luckypuppy2840/aviationjoke.html
Scroll down to "We Swear this is True!" and describes a whole bunch of cabin annoncements heard on an AS SFO-SEA flight.



Some things are actually better at 30,000+ feet...
User currently offlineIrev210 From United States of America, joined Jun 2005, 36 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (9 years 2 months 1 week 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 3549 times:

On AA they've started this whole "Time to turn off electronics, cellphones, blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, blah blah blah"

it was funny the first time, but now annoying.


Viva their turkey wraps though, love those things.


User currently offlineANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (9 years 2 months 1 week 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 3539 times:

All I can think of when I see this thread is Goerge Carlin. . . .  rotfl 

User currently offlineSquirrel83 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (9 years 2 months 1 week 1 day 13 hours ago) and read 3479 times:

On NWA they have announcements stating that they need exact change when purchasing drinks/food, or the remaining amount will go to the NWA flight attendants retirement fund.

User currently offlineLincoln From United States of America, joined Nov 2004, 3887 posts, RR: 8
Reply 5, posted (9 years 2 months 1 week 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 3327 times:

On one flight from my Grandparent's place in Oreagon (near MFR) back home to Southern California-- either UA or AS-- on landing the announcement was made:

"Welcome to Ontario, California. We hope this is where you were going. The local time is xx:yy and it will be just a few minutes while we taxi to the gate. We ask that you refrain from smoking until you are well inside the terminal and in a designated smoking area. As this is California, that would be either Nevada or Arizona. Thank you for flying xyz and we hope to see you again soon."

Then there's the report from my grandmother that on her Horizon flight the FAs did the safety briefing as a (literal) song and dance number, but I didn't see that one first hand...

Lincoln



CO Is My Airline of Choice || Baggage Claim is an airline's last chance to disappoint a customer || Next flts in profile
User currently offlineFastenseatbelt From United Kingdom, joined May 2004, 76 posts, RR: 0
Reply 6, posted (9 years 2 months 1 week 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 3279 times:

I was on a Germanwings flight once to Cologne/ Bonn. It was raining like hell on arrival and the flight attendant was like: Welcome to sunny Cologne....blah blah blah...and thank you for flying Germanwings and NOT Happag LLoyd Express...


Above the clouds...it must be beatutiful there
User currently offlineBogota From Colombia, joined Sep 2004, 819 posts, RR: 1
Reply 7, posted (9 years 2 months 1 week 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 3259 times:

"ladies and gents for those on the right hand of the plane you can see the xx and yy islands in the Caribbean, for those on the left you can watch those on the right as they look out the window" this was on a BA flight before landing into CCS.

User currently offlineTWA902fly From United States of America, joined Dec 1999, 3128 posts, RR: 4
Reply 8, posted (9 years 2 months 1 week 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 3250 times:

On my recent hop on Midwest Express, Skyway...

flying MKE to Appleton ATW


"Please refrain from smoking until the aircraft has reached 10,000 feet"

1 minute later

"Let me try that again, I am new at this airline... Smoking is not allowed during any portion of our flight today..etc etc etc.."

and about another minute later

"There will be no service on today's short flight, as the captain pointed out 26 minutes, but i will be coming down the back of the aisle with some Febreeze as this jet has a smell to it..."

'902



life wasn't worth the balance, or the crumpled paper it was written on
User currently offlineGentFromAlaska From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 3150 posts, RR: 1
Reply 9, posted (9 years 2 months 1 week 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 3233 times:

We had a Scottish FA emulate Scotty of Star Trek fame during the take off briefing on a Alaska Airlines flight between Juneau and Seattle.

He did a great job. In flight, he did a few things over the PA system with the Captain. He had the voice down to a tee and had the entire plane laughing.  silly  One of my best Alaska flights ever.



Man can be taken from Alaska. Alaska can never be taken from the man.
User currently offlineEGTESkyGod From United Kingdom, joined Jun 2005, 1712 posts, RR: 12
Reply 10, posted (9 years 2 months 1 week 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 3249 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

(After a particularly rough landing at Exeter, a quick witted Flybe FA said the following)

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain seated while Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal!"


Another FA who had just been sacked by easyjet a few weeks before Xmas, I overheard saying to a friend, "My son has been to Santa's Grotto, Santa told me he asked for a Mickey Mouse outfit, so I said to Santa to just get him easyjet!"



I came, I saw, I Concorde! RIP Michael Jackson
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