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Embraer Vs. Microsoft .... War Of Words ;)  
User currently offlineSonOfACaptain From United States of America, joined May 2004, 1747 posts, RR: 6
Posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 8065 times:

Well, just learned it wasn't true, so enjoy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

At a recent computer
expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry
with the aircraft industry and stated, "If Embraer had kept up with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be flying
$25.00 planes that go 1,000 miles per hour."

In response to Bill's comments, Embraer issued a press release
stating: If Embraer had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
all be flying planes with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your plane would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted taxiway and runway lines, you would have
to buy a new plane.

3. Occasionally your plane would die on the runway for no reason. You
would have to pull to the side, open all of the doors, shut off the
plane, restart it, and reclose the doors before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your plane to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a plane that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to fly - but would run
on only five percent of the airways.

6. The oil temperature, pressure and generator warning lights would
all be replaced by a single "This Aircraft Has Performed an Illegal
Operation" warning light.

7. The groundspoiler system would ask "Are you sure?" before
deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your plane would lock you
out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the nosewheel and grabbed hold of the VHF radio
antenna.

9. Every time a new plane was introduced pilots would have to learn
how to fly all over again because none of the controls would operate
in the same manner as the old plane.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

-SOAC

[Edited 2005-07-19 09:30:32]


Non Illegitimi Carborundum
28 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineUAalltheway From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 8024 times:

LOL.. absolutely hilarious.. thanks for sharing!  Smile

 bouncy 


User currently offlineWunala From Australia, joined Mar 2005, 950 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 8003 times:

Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):
I am not sure if this is true or not, but funny none-the-less.

No, it is not true, as there are several versions of this, such as Ford and GM floating around the place. But it is still funny


User currently offlineSonOfACaptain From United States of America, joined May 2004, 1747 posts, RR: 6
Reply 3, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 8004 times:

Quoting Wunala (Reply 2):
No, it is not true, as there are several versions of this, such as Ford and GM floating around the place. But it is still funny

Hey, thanks a lot. I didn't think it was true but I was just being on the safe side.

-SOAC



Non Illegitimi Carborundum
User currently offlineErikwilliam From Brazil, joined Mar 2004, 2152 posts, RR: 12
Reply 4, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 18 hours ago) and read 7809 times:

11- in case of emergency, a window would show up and ask: would you lie to save before continue?


Dida, Cafu, Lucio, Roque Junior, Roberto Carlo, Emerson, Ze Roberto, Ronaldinho, Kaka, Adriano, Robinho, Ronaldo
User currently offlineEMBTucano From Brazil, joined Feb 2004, 246 posts, RR: 1
Reply 5, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 17 hours ago) and read 7767 times:

12 - During flight a message would pop-up telling the pilot that a couple of patches and updates has just been installed and all the running programs will be closed and the plane will automatically restart.  sarcastic 


Cheers



---- Use GNU/LINUX and be free! ----
User currently offlineBill142 From Australia, joined Aug 2004, 8440 posts, RR: 8
Reply 6, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 17 hours ago) and read 7756 times:

Quoting Erikwilliam (Reply 4):
11- in case of emergency, a window would show up and ask: would you lie to save before continue?

No no no.. you just set it to auto save, which it will simply forget to do.


User currently offlineWunala From Australia, joined Mar 2005, 950 posts, RR: 0
Reply 7, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 17 hours ago) and read 7689 times:

Quoting Bill142 (Reply 6):
No no no.. you just set it to auto save, which it will simply forget to do.

No, you will have turned auto save off again, as it slows down the computer too much, especially after you have just hit .


User currently offlinePMN From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2005, 563 posts, RR: 1
Reply 8, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 7654 times:

Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):

Brilliant!

Paul



Edith in his bed, a plane in the rain is humming, the wires in the walls are humming some song - some mysterious song
User currently offlineAirEuropeUK733 From United Kingdom, joined Apr 2004, 976 posts, RR: 11
Reply 9, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 7558 times:

LMAO and RATFL

It would be tragic if it wasn't true!

AE733



It's nice to fly with firends
User currently offlineDan2002 From United States of America, joined Dec 2002, 2055 posts, RR: 5
Reply 10, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 7508 times:

Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your plane to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.



Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):
7. The groundspoiler system would ask "Are you sure?" before
deploying.



Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.



Quoting EMBTucano (Reply 5):
12 - During flight a message would pop-up telling the pilot that a couple of patches and updates has just been installed and all the running programs will be closed and the plane will automatically restart.

Sounds like an Airbus  Wink


-Dan



A guy asks 'What's Punk?'. I kick over a trash can and its punk. He knocks over a trash can and its trendy.
User currently offlineFlyPIJets From United States of America, joined Oct 2003, 875 posts, RR: 3
Reply 11, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 7449 times:

While this is fake, still funny. Bill Gate$ really did make similar comments comparing the micro computer evolution to the car industry, saying that if car design had kept pace with computer design, we would all be purchasing new cars for $25 at the check out counter of the supermarket.

And although Gate$' did not mention a specific auto maker, the Chairman of GM responded back, who would want to purchase a car the crashes every 20 mins.

That exchange really did happen. Back in '96 - '98 or so.



DC-8, DC-9, DC-10, F28, 717, 727, 737, 747, 757, 767, IL-62, L-1011, MD-82/83, YS-11, DHC-8, PA-28-161, ERJ 135/145, E-1
User currently offlineMrocktor From United States of America, joined Jan 2005, 1668 posts, RR: 50
Reply 12, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 14 hours ago) and read 7329 times:

Apparently not:

http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/autos.htm

:D

mrocktor


User currently offlineCentrair From Japan, joined Jan 2005, 3598 posts, RR: 20
Reply 13, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 6510 times:

Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):
5. Macintosh would make a plane that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to fly - but would run on only five percent of the airways.

Makes me very happy. When Airplanes and Apple are in the same forum it is true happiness for me.

Not to mention if Apple made a plane it would have great design and better user interface for all who worked on it. Not to mention iPod ports and iTunes in the IFE.

Can't wait till that happens. The Apple iPlane.
---
Justin
G3 iBook and G4 iMac owner
Mac user since 1986
150,000 NW Miles since 1992



Yes...I am not a KIX fan. Let's Japanese Aviation!
User currently offlineSlawko From Canada, joined May 1999, 3799 posts, RR: 9
Reply 14, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 6373 times:

Quoting Dan2002 (Reply 10):
Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your plane to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.



Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):
7. The groundspoiler system would ask "Are you sure?" before
deploying.




Quoting SonOfACaptain (Thread starter):
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.




Quoting EMBTucano (Reply 5):
12 - During flight a message would pop-up telling the pilot that a couple of patches and updates has just been installed and all the running programs will be closed and the plane will automatically restart.

Sounds like an Airbus

Acutally sound slike an Embraer too!! HAHA



"Clive Beddoe says he favours competition, but his actions do not support that idea." Robert Milton - CEO Air Canada
User currently offlineSonOfACaptain From United States of America, joined May 2004, 1747 posts, RR: 6
Reply 15, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 6292 times:

Quoting Slawko (Reply 14):
Acutally sound slike an Embraer too!! HAHA

HAHA, the Emb-170 pilot I got this from said this same exact thing.

-SOAC



Non Illegitimi Carborundum
User currently offlineSWISSER From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 6187 times:

Haha! simply humor (unfortunatly the truth) at it's best!

Tough I have some problems configuring my Ipod to Itunes on my PC...


User currently offlineBlackhawk144 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 17, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 5976 times:

Absolutely hirlairious, SOAC! Thanks for making my day!

Anthony


User currently offlineAaflt1871 From United States of America, joined Dec 2004, 2333 posts, RR: 10
Reply 18, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 5597 times:

Thanks for the laugh.


Where did everybody go?
User currently offlineSearpqx From Netherlands, joined Jun 2000, 4343 posts, RR: 10
Reply 19, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 5549 times:

This made the rounds at AA back in the early 90s, there was a copy hanging outside of just about every cube - especially the product developers.

Sighhhh - I'm old aren't I?



"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
User currently offlineAntiuser From Italy, joined May 2004, 657 posts, RR: 1
Reply 20, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days ago) and read 4756 times:

Quoting Centrair (Reply 13):
Not to mention if Apple made a plane it would have great design and better user interface for all who worked on it. Not to mention iPod ports and iTunes in the IFE.

But the Apple iPlane would cost 5 times more than its slightly uglier competitor that does exactly the same thing, and would only have a yoke/stick for the pilot. If you want one for the co-pilot, you'd need to buy it from a different company.

Antiuser
G4 Powerbook and Dual G5 Power Macintosh owner
Immune to the Steve Jobs Reality Distortion Field ™
:D



Azzurri Campioni del Mondo!
User currently offlineAviationwiz From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 962 posts, RR: 4
Reply 21, posted (9 years 1 week 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 4568 times:

Quoting Centrair (Reply 13):

Not to mention if Apple made a plane it would have great design and better user interface for all who worked on it. Not to mention iPod ports and iTunes in the IFE.

Yes, but the speakers that came with the iPlane would suck, so you would have to buy your own if you wanted good audio quality.

Aviationwiz
-PowerMac G5 Owner
The built in speakers on them simply suck



Proudly from the Home of the Red Tail.
User currently offlineStartknob From Germany, joined May 2004, 156 posts, RR: 0
Reply 22, posted (9 years 1 week 5 days 19 hours ago) and read 4481 times:

12 - For the enjoyment of the passengers the IFE downloads regulary new games and films in flight. Unfortunately some malware, viruses and spyware are grabbed also by this undocumented and unstoppable "feature". So usually passengers loosing their CC data and get their accounts robbed. Occasionally the aircraft then diverts as it is remote controlled.

13 - Due to a sign error in the board computers (the earth was modeled as a disk) when crossing the equator the aircraft performs an instant 180 degree half roll and keeps on flying upside down on its back in accurate speed and course.

14 - The FADEC shuts down one engine with an exception error about twice a week.

15 - The autoland feature has a harmless bug that on approach at a flight height of 2003, 2000, 98 and 95 feet asks the cockpit crew "Abort? Retry? Ignore?"

16 - When too much bleed air is used for the AC packs in order to prevent fainting passengers with engines performing on 80% or more there is a remarkable slowdown in all systems. Coffee needs 2-3 min. longer, cabin light dims a little, the audio and video streams of the IFE are scattered and flight controls experience a delay in reaction time between one second and around one minute.

 Wink



When playing cat and mice it's imperative to know, who's the cat.
User currently offlineDan2002 From United States of America, joined Dec 2002, 2055 posts, RR: 5
Reply 23, posted (9 years 1 week 5 days 16 hours ago) and read 4349 times:

17 - You catch the FO watching p0rn he downloaded off Kazaa.

18 - The next version of the airplane is called Longhorn. It is supposed to be more efficient and fix alot of problems in previous models, but it was packed with too many features. Its supposed to bigger and better, yet the launch date seems to be moved back quite often. (i.e A380/Longhorn).

19 - You see the captain surfing airliners.net instead of waching the FMC.



View Large View Medium
Click here for bigger photo!

Photo © Royal S King



View Large View Medium
Click here for bigger photo!

Photo © Royal S King



View Large View Medium
Click here for bigger photo!

Photo © Brian Conway




-Dan



A guy asks 'What's Punk?'. I kick over a trash can and its punk. He knocks over a trash can and its trendy.
User currently offlinePPVRA From Brazil, joined Nov 2004, 8942 posts, RR: 40
Reply 24, posted (9 years 1 week 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 4173 times:

Quoting Antiuser (Reply 20):
and would only have a yoke/stick for the pilot.

Yoke or stick?

It's an X-BOX controller:



 Big grin

That way the pilots can sit back and relax in a big confy couch, and by doing so, improving safety as stress levels are reduced. They just need to be careful not to sit too far back and pull the cables dropping the console on the deck.

They also will need to re-caliber the controllers ever so often when they realize that instead of landing on runway XXL, they end up on XXR or on the highway parallel to the airport.

PPVRA



"If goods do not cross borders, soldiers will" - Frederic Bastiat
25 JetHost : LOL! Very funny lol!
26 Post contains links and images SWISSER : [quote=Dan2002,reply=23]17 - You catch the FO watching p0rn he downloaded off Kazaa. 18 - The next version of the airplane is called Longhorn. It is s
27 Startknob : ..seeing all these pics of a 777 cockpit reveals IMHO two things: (1) #18 is right: Longhorn is already here. Just look to the two dominant long horns
28 Vasu : lol very nice... in addition to this, with a click of a button, the captain would be able to change the wallpaper on the outside of his jet (actually,
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