I got these from another site. I hope you enjoy them anyway :
*A res call.........
Agent - "XYZ Airline, how may I help you?"
Caller "Yes, I'm very disgusted with your airline (then proceeds to throw a fit for about 10 minutes without explaining what the problem is all about)."
Agent - "I'm sorry you are upset, what is the problem and I'll look into it for you."
Caller "I purchased a ticket to fly on a plane so I would get there quicker. If I wanted to take the bus I would have purchased a cheaper ticket on Greyhound."
Agent - "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't understand. We don't sell bus tickets. We don't even own any buses."
Caller - "It says right here Airbus 320. I want my money back, I'm not traveling on a bus when I paid for a plane ticket."
*It's hard to believe, but this was an actual phone conversation
Pax: I want to ticket my reservation using my frequent flyer miles.
Agent: Ok Mr. Jones, what is that account number?
Pax: Oh, do I have to have that? Can't you look it up?
Agent: (After finding number) I am sorry Mr. Jones but you don't have enough miles in your account to ticket this reservation.
Pax: Can't you just do it anyway?
Agent: I am sorry Mr Jones but your frequent flyer account is like your bank account when you write a check. If you don't have enough money in the bank, you can't write the check.
Pax: Well my bank has overdraft protection (yes folks, that was actually the pax response)
Needless to say the conversation didn't continue much longer. Okay FOOL, we're not a bank, we don't offer overdraft protection. GET A LIFE AND GET OFF OUR PHONE!
*Nonstop flight - A flight from origin to destination without a scheduled enroute stop.
Translation for dummies - The big airplane takes off from the city you board in and lands in the city you deplane in.
Direct flight - A flight that involves one or more intermediate stops enroute between origin and destination with no change of planes.
Translation for dummies - The big airplane takes off in the city you board in, flies somewhere, lands and you stay on the plane. It takes off again and finally lands in the city you deplane in.