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Santa's Sleigh Operated By Airlines  
User currently offlineAirbear From Australia, joined May 2001, 648 posts, RR: 1
Posted (8 years 9 months 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 3254 times:

Merry Christmas everyone! Today, I was wondering how Santa's sleigh would operate if it was taken over by the airlines?

In the Australian context, if operated by:

Virgin Blue... R.Branson would come Downunder and dress up as a reindeer, whilst sticking false blond beards onto Rudolf & Co.

Jetstar ... kids would have to buy their presents at each (leisure destination-only) stop.

Qantas... Geoff Dixon would fire all but 2 of the reindeer, and wait for a sleigh to become available, that could fly North Pole - SYD non-stop under ETROPS (Extended-Range Twin Reindeer Ops) rules.

How about your favourite airline? Cheers!

23 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineAndz From South Africa, joined Feb 2004, 8453 posts, RR: 10
Reply 1, posted (8 years 9 months 20 hours ago) and read 3141 times:
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South African - Santa would be hijacked within 2 minutes of leaving JNB, the reindeer would end up on a barbecue and the sleigh would be found overturned and burned out several days later.


After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF...
User currently offlineEjmmsu From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 1692 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (8 years 9 months 19 hours ago) and read 3116 times:

On many US majors, instead of getting free cookies, he'd have to pay $3 for a box of cookies, although it would also contain a beef stick and some cheese dip.


"If the facts do not conform to the theory, they will have to be disposed of"
User currently offlineBR715-A1-30 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (8 years 9 months 19 hours ago) and read 3109 times:

Midwest... Reserve All Cookies for the pilots
AirTran... Expand Rapidly from 8 reindeer to Over 40


User currently offlineAa757first From United States of America, joined Aug 2003, 3350 posts, RR: 7
Reply 4, posted (8 years 9 months 19 hours ago) and read 3091 times:

If it was United, Christmas presents wouldn't arrive until December 27.

AAndrew


User currently offlineDtwclipper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (8 years 9 months 19 hours ago) and read 3073 times:

Frank Lorenzo would have purchased Santa Clause, The Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny in a leveraged buyout, merge them and form the first Low Cost Holiday.

User currently offlineN751PR From Japan, joined May 2002, 1249 posts, RR: 1
Reply 6, posted (8 years 9 months 19 hours ago) and read 3066 times:

Philippine Airlines - Taking advantage of the cargo capacity of the sleigh (a proven fact as it has transported presents for all the good children for many years), PR has decided to place no limit on how many balikbayan boxes the returning balikbayan (someone coming come) can take with them. Expect a rather massive influx of Filipinos in major airports w/ enough balikbayan boxes that would put a UPS truck to shame.  hyper 


"Ladies and Gentlemen it's happy hour. You will get two approaches for the price of one."
User currently offlineSHUPirate1 From United States of America, joined exactly 11 years ago today! , 3670 posts, RR: 16
Reply 7, posted (8 years 9 months 19 hours ago) and read 3053 times:

Northwest would have outsourced the reindeer... Silly


Burma's constitutional referendum options: A. Yes, B. Go to Insein Prison!
User currently offlineByrdluvs747 From United States of America, joined Jul 2004, 2361 posts, RR: 1
Reply 8, posted (8 years 9 months 18 hours ago) and read 3034 times:

US - All the kids gifts would end up stuck in PHL.
UA - Sleigh gets repo'ed in SFO.
LH - Refuses to operate the sleigh because it doesn't have a side-stick.
EK - Also refuses because the sleigh is too small.
WN - Santa would have to stop in DAL, LIT, and MDW on his way to ISP.
AS - Very few kids outside of the west would get gifts as Santa doesn't fly there.
VS - Only need to paint "40 Reindeer 4 Longhaul" on the side, as the sleigh is already in VS livery.
AA - The sleigh gets stripped down to bare metal and polished, and the pitch is reduced to carry more gifts.



The 747: The hands who designed it were guided by god.
User currently offlineS12PPL From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (8 years 9 months 18 hours ago) and read 3014 times:

US - Kid's gifts would end up in the wrong city, freaking parents out (I know this is HP, but hell, it's the same airline now Big grin  Silly )
UA - Santa would lose his lease on his sleigh, and be screwed. Santa would fight it in court, and get his sleigh returned to him on Dec. 28th.
WN - Santa would have to stop in LAS, MDW, BNA, and MCO, on his way to TPA, only to find that when he originated with UA, the gifts weren't transfered to his new sleigh, ruining Christmas.
QX - Kids east of DEN would be suprised on Christmas morning when they discover all they're gifts were distributed to kids on the west coast.
AS - Kids on the east coast would eventually get they're gifts...only they would have to be transfered through BOS, EWR, IAD, DCA, or MCO, arriving on the 26th. Kids on the west coast that got all the east coast gifts would be sad when Santa came to take them back.


User currently offlineHPLASOps From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (8 years 9 months 14 hours ago) and read 2920 times:

WN - the sleigh would be brown and blue instead of red, Santa would brag about how he was delievering the gifts cheaper than everyone else (while really charging about the same), and the reindeer would be tripping over themselves cause the sleigh is moving too fast. Not to mention Santa would claim to provide gifts to Boston, New York, and San Francisco, only the kids would have to travel about 60 miles to get them.

And it wouldn't be fair unless I took a cheap shot at my own airline so here it goes:

HP - Santa would be wearing sandals and khaki shorts with a white polo and a red visor for a hat. The reindeer would have to stop for water after every house. Santa would deliver to alot of cities, but would only deliver at times nobody would want and not as often as you'd like him to. Santa would promise big, but rountinely underachieve, and the kids will curse him out as a result. Santa will also allow elves to deliver to the smaller routes, only the elves would screw that up under Santa's name and make Santa look bad. Oh, and this Christmas, Santa will join forces with Jesus to become the super Christmas idol.

[Edited 2005-12-26 02:44:56]

User currently offlineYYZatcboy From Canada, joined Apr 2005, 1083 posts, RR: 0
Reply 11, posted (8 years 9 months 13 hours ago) and read 2906 times:
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AC Santa would have to go through YUL YYZ and YVR while having Milton threaten to suspend Gift ops at YYZ because he does not like the airport. Meanwhile the federal government will tax every gift and raise airport rent if they get the new AC Sleigh operating there. Quebec will say that they don't get enough gifts and Alberta will say They don't get enough gifts and point out that Toronto has a monopoly on the gifts because of the airport etc there. Toronto will say that they cant help that they are the best and Santa would have to pay Nav Canada for ATC services.


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User currently offlineBMIbaby733 From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2005, 119 posts, RR: 0
Reply 12, posted (8 years 9 months 13 hours ago) and read 2871 times:

Just imagine if FR took over santa's sleigh!
I don't even need to make anything up for this as i'm sure we can all come to the same image in our heads!


User currently offlineAirbear From Australia, joined May 2001, 648 posts, RR: 1
Reply 13, posted (8 years 9 months 13 hours ago) and read 2868 times:

Nice goin' folks ... just one more, I can't resist:

Ryanair... reindeer stripped of all bells and decorative tinsel, thinner reins used, with plastic-only buckles, Santa required to lose 40Kgs, and his seat is removed so he flys standing up.

Have a happy & safe New Year, everyone!


User currently offlineByrdluvs747 From United States of America, joined Jul 2004, 2361 posts, RR: 1
Reply 14, posted (8 years 9 months 13 hours ago) and read 2849 times:

Quoting HPLASOps (Reply 10):
HP - Santa would be wearing sandals and khaki shorts with a white polo

Wrong airline. Khaki shorts are not part of the HP FA uniform.



The 747: The hands who designed it were guided by god.
User currently offlineHPLASOps From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 15, posted (8 years 9 months 12 hours ago) and read 2821 times:

Quoting Byrdluvs747 (Reply 14):
Khaki shorts are not part of the HP FA uniform.

I know that, I was just tryin to describe the whole lifestyle of PHX, where shorts and sandals are standard, thus the reindeer needing water every stop reference.


User currently offlineLincoln From United States of America, joined Nov 2004, 3887 posts, RR: 8
Reply 16, posted (8 years 9 months 12 hours ago) and read 2818 times:

Not really on topic for this thread, but it seems like it kind of fits here anyways...

When I dropped the luggage for my Continental flights from Cleveland this morning, all of the overhead signage was

" *** North Pole Express *** "
"---Santa's Sleigh--- ---Santa's Sleigh---"

I thought it was a nice touch, but one of the young kids behind me in line (CO, for ovbious reasons, wasn't operating the dedicated bag drop lines) said "Daddy, we're flying an airplane right, not the North Pole Express"

Lincoln



CO Is My Airline of Choice || Baggage Claim is an airline's last chance to disappoint a customer || Next flts in profile
User currently offlineBBJII From United Kingdom, joined Jul 2005, 850 posts, RR: 4
Reply 17, posted (8 years 9 months ago) and read 2721 times:

NW - Christmas cancelled due to maintainance strikes...no one to feed Rheindeer...

FR - Would charge Santa per bag in excess..leaving the poor guy skint...also send Rheindeer to Toronto St Johns....the new Toronto Airport.

U2 - change livery to Orange.....and tell Santa he arrived 5 minutes late..the Sleigh has let without him.....it's really Tech Outside...

DL/CO - Would argue they cannot serve the UK properly unless they go to LHR.

EK - Santa doesn't do Ramadam....so we cancelled Xmas and leased they sligh for Hadj flight......

BA - Cancelled due to Catering strike....the big guy's gotta eat



 wave 



Remember: The Bird Hit You, You Didn't Hit The Bird.....
User currently offlineCoa764 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 328 posts, RR: 3
Reply 18, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 2699 times:

JetBlue - Late gifts for the kids this year, good or bad, due to the JFK weather.

Press Release Source: JetBlue Airways Corporation

Children Expecting Gifts from Reindeer One Out of New York's JFK Today May Receive your Present by Dec. 28 Sunday December 25, 1:29 pm ET


NEW YORK, Dec. 25, 2005 (PRIMEZONE) -- JetBlue Airways Corp. (NasdaqNM:JBLU - News) JFK Airport experienced significant delays this morning due to low visibility, and the airline expects to Launch Reindeer One later today. JetBlue Airway on behalf of Captain Claus apologize to all the Children that will be receiving their Christmas gifts late this year.
Parents are encouraged to call 1-800-JETBLUE (538-2583) to check the status Reindeer One or at http://www.jetblue.com.

JetBlue Airways is a low-fare airline based in New York City, with operations to 33 cities with 340 flights daily. All JetBlue aircraft, including Reindeer One feature roomy leather seats with 36 channels of free DIRECTV(r) programming, the most live television offered by any airline, and brand name snacks and beverages. On flights longer than two hours, a selection of first-run movies and bonus features from FOX InFlight(tm) is also available.(1) With JetBlue, all seats are assigned, all travel is ticketless, all fares are one-way, and an overnight stay is never required. For information or reservations call 1-800-JETBLUE (1-800-538-2583) or visit http://www.jetblue.com.

(1) Note: DIRECTV(R) service is not available on flights between JFK/EWR and Puerto Rico or the Dominican Republic.

The JetBlue logo is available at: http://www.primezone.com/newsroom/prs/?pkgid=795



Contact:
JetBlue Airways Corp.
Corporate Communications
(718) 709-3089
Corporatecommunications@jetblue.com



Please oh please Mr Moderator Nazi, dont delete my thread.
User currently offlineIFACN From Italy, joined Nov 2005, 153 posts, RR: 0
Reply 19, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 2683 times:

Ryanair: all gifts will be delivered in time, but you have to go to fetch them to an airport in which Ryanair operates; Santa Claus will have to pay for his cookies.

Alitalia: no Christmas gifts until 28th because of a strike.

AP.


User currently offlineDoona From Sweden, joined Feb 2005, 3771 posts, RR: 13
Reply 20, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 2675 times:

SK: Instead of just using reindeer, the sleigh would be pulled by reindeer, regular deer, elk, badgers and bobcats.

Cheers
Mats



Sure, we're concerned for our lives. Just not as concerned as saving 9 bucks on a roundtrip to Ft. Myers.
User currently offlineHPLASOps From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 2566 times:

AA - Santa would complain that the kids of inner city Dallas and their wants and needs are interfering with his ability to serve all kids of the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. Santa ends up breaking up his gift delivery network in order to better serve the inner city Dallas kids while complaining the whole time he was forced into it. And the sleigh is not driven by reindeer, but by mad dogs, lol.

User currently offlineNewark777 From United States of America, joined Dec 2004, 9348 posts, RR: 29
Reply 22, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 2562 times:

CO: Kids would have to stand at a baggage carousel at EWR for two hours waiting for their gifts to arrive. They would then arrive dirty and broken.  Smile

Harry



Why grab a Heine when you can grab a Busch?
User currently offlineHPLASOps From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 23, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 2541 times:

G4 - Santa would do a great job of getting gifts to children who would not otherwise see Santa, only Santa would go there twice per week on random days. Santa would not be interested in doing a gift exchange program unless the children were interested in giving a gift to the children of Las Vegas or Orlando.

[Edited 2005-12-27 06:57:44]

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