The folowing e-mail about some particularly funny airline passenger cluelessness was recently sent to me. I think some airline employees should enjoy these. Take them with a grain of salt cause you know how e-mail is.
- Why Americans should never be allowed to travel. -
The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
* I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair
wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
*A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked,
"Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take
the train to Hawaii?"
* I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started
to explain the length of the flight and the passport information
when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid,
but Cape Town is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look
like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts, Cape Town is in Africa." Her response ... click.
* A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what
was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me.
I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."
* I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England
from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the
* Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas.
When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over
in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said,
"I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between
the gates to save time."
* A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible
that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at
8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of
Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones.
Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
* A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in
with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and
I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold
For a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I
came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that
the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
* I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know
plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he
replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn
planes have numbers on
* "A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of
those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on
a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
* A businessman called and had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've
been to China many times and never had to have one of those."
I double-checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I
told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and
every time they have accepted my American Express."
* A woman called to make reservations "I want to go from Chicago to
Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally,
the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what
flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching,
the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every
airport code in the country and I can't find a Hippopotamus
anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows
where it is. Check your map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and
finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I
knew it was a big animal!"