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Ground Crew And Pilot Humor  
User currently offlineCRJ'sRule From Canada, joined Mar 2001, 62 posts, RR: 0
Posted (10 years 1 month 2 weeks 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 13217 times:

Hi Everyone,
Got this sent to me a while back. Thought you'd might enjoy it after seeing the ATC and Pilot humor:

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the
problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what
remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the
next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

4 replies: All unread, jump to last
User currently offlineFutureSDPDcop From United States of America, joined Feb 2006, 1297 posts, RR: 4
Reply 1, posted (10 years 1 month 2 weeks 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 13211 times:

Hey. Check out the thread on "Atc to pilot humor"

User currently offlinePgv From United States of America, joined Feb 2006, 124 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (10 years 1 month 2 weeks 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 13211 times:

Read the other thread...

"To hell with a Ferrari...give me a Super 70!"
User currently offlineLouA340 From Canada, joined Oct 2005, 387 posts, RR: 0
Reply 3, posted (10 years 1 month 2 weeks 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 13189 times:

 rotfl  that was funny as ever, and different from the usual ATC humour.
Thanks for the post

User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31875 posts, RR: 54
Reply 4, posted (10 years 1 month 2 weeks 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 13014 times:

Old Topic.But fun to read always.

Think of the brighter side!
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