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Funny ATC Chat On UA Channel 9  
User currently offlineNDSchu777 From United States of America, joined Oct 2001, 419 posts, RR: 3
Posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 14 hours ago) and read 24576 times:

Last night I was flying on United from ORD-SFO, and of course like any good a.net-er was listening to the ATC chat on Channel 9 (much more interesting than the in-flight movie chick flick "Prairie Home Companion", but that's beside the point).

Anyway, the typical ATC chatter of handing off from one control to another, reports of chop, and changing headings or FL's was broken by an interesting discussion that sounded something like this:

United 907 Heavy: "Salt Lake Center, please advise an update on the Eagles-Cowboys game?"
Salt Lake Center: "United 907 Heavy, game was tied at 24 at start of 4th quarter. Philadelphia scored a TD. On Dallas' next drive a pass to Owens was intercepted and the Eagles held on to their lead."
United 907 Heavy: "TO Sucks."
Salt Lake Center: "That's right."

I definitely laughed out loud when I heard that one and I think everyone around me looked at me weird.

Does anyone else have good ATC chat stories they can share?

~Nick

86 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineRoseFlyer From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 9510 posts, RR: 52
Reply 1, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 14 hours ago) and read 24635 times:

Haha, I love it when you are flying at ATC is quiet. There can be some interesting conversations on Sundays when football games are going on. Also, some planes are equipped with radios that can pick up the games, which is even more fun.


If you have never designed an airplane part before, let the real designers do the work!
User currently offlineHalls120 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 14 hours ago) and read 24631 times:

Quoting NDSchu777 (Thread starter):
I definitely laughed out loud when I heard that one and I think everyone around me looked at me weird.

Does anyone else have good ATC chat stories they can share?

I was flying cross country the night we crossed into the new millenium. Several of the controllers cracked jokes about having to revert to a paper system in the case their computers crapped out at 0001. There was a lot of laughter - nervous - that night.


User currently offlineCessna057 From United States of America, joined Sep 2006, 439 posts, RR: 1
Reply 3, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 14 hours ago) and read 24561 times:

I always love the "have the fokker in sight" one, I hear that one alot.


Hold it . . . Hold it . . . HOLD THE FREAKIN NOSE UP!!
User currently offlineNDSchu777 From United States of America, joined Oct 2001, 419 posts, RR: 3
Reply 4, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 12 hours ago) and read 24284 times:

I also remember one time being on the ground at ORD and hearing how another plane had backed out of the gate the wrong way. This ground controller sounded pissed and was giving him an alternate route but made sure to let him know how many other planes he was getting in the way of.

User currently offlineCharliejag1 From United States of America, joined Aug 2006, 239 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 11 hours ago) and read 24229 times:

If you tune the ADF to an AM station within the ADF freq. band and turn on the id speaker or headset switch, you can listen to the radio. We used to do this for baseball games on espn radio all the time.

User currently offlineCessna057 From United States of America, joined Sep 2006, 439 posts, RR: 1
Reply 6, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 11 hours ago) and read 24203 times:

Quoting Charliejag1 (Reply 5):
If you tune the ADF to an AM station within the ADF freq. band and turn on the id speaker or headset switch, you can listen to the radio. We used to do this for baseball games on espn radio all the time.

I do that on long flights when i get bored...



Hold it . . . Hold it . . . HOLD THE FREAKIN NOSE UP!!
User currently offlineHPAEAA From United States of America, joined May 2006, 1024 posts, RR: 1
Reply 7, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 11 hours ago) and read 24150 times:

Here's the one I've got....

"eagle flight XXX to ops station on freq"
Silence.....
"eagle flight XXX to ops station on freq"
"this is CLE ops eagle flight XXX, go ahead."
"got a request for you,"
"eagle flight XXX whats the nature of the request?"
"Just a simple score update please"
"Eagle flight XXX you have no idea how scared we were that you might want to visit, go right ahead with the score update"
"ahhh so you've been welcomed to eagle"



Why do I fly???
User currently offlineLTU932 From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 13864 posts, RR: 50
Reply 8, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 10 hours ago) and read 24014 times:

I heard something funny once while listening to JFK tower. The captain of an AA flight was making a cabin announcement about them, despite being late, hoping to get on the way now and he didn't know that he was doing it through the tower frequency, until the ATC said: "Tell them the tower said hello".

The captain responded: "Sorry about that".

That was pretty funny. Big grin


User currently offlineOrdpark From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 574 posts, RR: 1
Reply 9, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 23861 times:
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While on approach into ORD one very busy morning, an obviously very rushed crew member, in an attempt to verify his next frequency, asked the approach controller, "what's the tower". Without missing a beat, the controller, without missing a beat, responded with the classic line uttered by Leslie Neilson in Airplane...."it's a big tall building where they talk to airplanes" (sic) But that's not important now!

User currently offlineApodino From United States of America, joined Apr 2005, 4234 posts, RR: 6
Reply 10, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 23826 times:

When the white sox were in the world series last year, the ATIS at ORD broadcast as part of the message "Go Sox, na na na". We laughed at ZW when we heard that one.

User currently offlineTinkerBelle From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 23789 times:

On UA to IAD the day after the world cup.

Alitalia heavy was on finals and the controller said 'So, since you guys won the world cup, are you flying people for free today'?
Alitalia pilot responded 'only the crew'. I bust out laughing per I thought that was funny.


User currently offlineZRHnerd From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 23704 times:

A couple of years ago I flew an SR ZRH-LHR-ZRH run on the jumpseat with my fellow neighbour former SR and now LX pilot M.M.

About 45 minutes into the flight he asked the german ATC (IIRC) about the football results, I think the matches were part of the WC 2002 qualifiers, he particularely asked about the results of the matches of Switzerland, France, England, Scotland and Germany, and then passed them over to the passengers through the PA. That was well funny. You could hear the "wohoo" and "noo" kinda noises in the back Big grin


User currently offlineCumulus From United Kingdom, joined Aug 2006, 1402 posts, RR: 1
Reply 13, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 4 hours ago) and read 23499 times:

My friend flew the Hercules on convoy flights during the Iraq conflict and said they and the other aircraft on the way down in their 'convoy' played Trivial Persuit with the crews in the other aircraft over the radio!


What Goes Up Must Come Down, Hopefully In One Piece!
User currently offlineYLWbased From Hong Kong, joined Jan 2006, 824 posts, RR: 4
Reply 14, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 3 hours ago) and read 23391 times:

YLW TWR: westjet 44, beech1900 insight.
westjet 44: confirmed bixch 1900 insight.
YLW TWR: **laughers**



Hong Kong is not China. Not better or worse, just different.
User currently offlineIahflyr From United States of America, joined Jun 2005, 4790 posts, RR: 22
Reply 15, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 23317 times:

Some good ones folks, nice work. I just don't have any to offer up at this time but will work on it!  angel 


Any views shared are strictly my own and do not a represent those of any former employer.
User currently offlineMcdu From United States of America, joined Apr 2005, 1448 posts, RR: 17
Reply 16, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 23204 times:

We landed 4R right in ORD a few years ago and the ground controller was in an jovial mood. He was giving instructions with panache of a man in control. It was pretty rapid fire and then there was silence for about 10 secs. He said, "come on, nobody else have a request?" to which someone replied, "Yeah I would like Burger and fries", not missing a beat the controller said, "Oh, burger and fries? We don't do that on this freq. You will have to switch to 121.65 for that"

The ORD controllers are the best to work with.


User currently offlineCancidas From Poland, joined Jul 2003, 4112 posts, RR: 11
Reply 17, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 23176 times:

that's normal. we have a tv right beween two positions at work and if there is a game on the person on the company freq very routinely gives out the score of the game. sundays we usually post update cards under the tv for the various games going on.


"...cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home."
User currently offlineD950 From United States of America, joined Jul 2004, 493 posts, RR: 2
Reply 18, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 23136 times:

While on approach to LGA runway 4, Citrus asks LGA if the Eagle regional in front of him is going to LGA, the tower responded "where in God's name do you think he's going" even our pilot chuckled when I mentioned it to him while getting off the plane.


Resting on your laurels is a synonym for flirting with disaster
User currently offlineWarreng24 From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 707 posts, RR: 0
Reply 19, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 22955 times:

One of my favorites is when a captain mistakenly makes a cabin announcement on the ATC radio.

Captain: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I've turned the fasten seat belt sign on, please remain seated until we arrive at O'Hare."

Various other A/C on the radio: "I AM SEATED!"


User currently offlineKeego From Ireland, joined Jan 2006, 190 posts, RR: 0
Reply 20, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 22902 times:

I heard of this one before but I still find it funny, heres the link to the site its on http://www.businessballs.com/airtrafficcontrollersfunnyquotes.htm

"Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206. Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway." Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now." Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,...... and I didn't land."


User currently offlineLXLucien From Switzerland, joined Mar 2005, 261 posts, RR: 4
Reply 21, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 22555 times:

Pilots get a lot of sport results via the ACARS system  Smile recently a First passenger asked inflight what's the result of the "tour the France" that day Big grin

Small message to the Dispatch... and there was the answer. Big grin



Quote "Syriana": "Beirut, it's like Paris in the Mid-East"
User currently onlineAaron747 From Japan, joined Aug 2003, 8024 posts, RR: 26
Reply 22, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days ago) and read 22460 times:

On one of many UA transpac crossings last year I had the chance to listen in on an entertaining HF exchange between several UA and NW flights. The topic of conversation was the quality of the ladies in various Asian cities. After about five minutes of that Channel 9 suddenly went silent  Wink


If you need someone to blame / throw a rock in the air / you'll hit someone guilty
User currently onlineTransIsland From Bahamas, joined Mar 2004, 2044 posts, RR: 9
Reply 23, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days ago) and read 21907 times:

Sounds like an urban legend, but my father swears that he overheard this one many years ago (70s or 80s) in the airspace around Nassau/Bahamas.

The then German chancellor Helmut Schmidt was visiting, and his plane's callsign was Luftwaffe 1.

While Luftwaffe 1 was talking to Nassau tower, an old retired RAF pilot and WWII veteran was flying in the vicinity in his private plane. Eventually, he had heard enough of Luftwaffe 1 and barked into the mic: "Luftwaffe 1 - Achtung, Spitfire."

There were quite a few seconds of silence afterwards...



I'm an aviation expert. I have Sky Juice for breakfast.
User currently offlineJayspilot From United States of America, joined May 2001, 298 posts, RR: 0
Reply 24, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 3 days 23 hours ago) and read 21040 times:

The atc chatting stories are plentiful and funny. My all time favorite converastions occur during sports playoffs. I was flying once from Boston to Atlanta in the fall of 2004 and was able to keep news radio 880 from ny tuned in the whole flt for the Yankees Redsox game on our ADF. I started giving a lot of updates and figured I could get more creative. I then went to the aft lav and inroute stopped at the cabin PA and asked the passengers to ring their buttons if they would like me to broadcast the game via the PA. Of the 150 people on board i think I saw all the call lights go on. Once I got back up front I took the David Clark Headset for the jumpseater and set up the audio pannel to monitor ADF. I then took our pa mike and taped it on and taped it to the ear piece and played the game until the end and the flt attendants needed to make announcments. The folks in the back go to listen to game 4 from the 8th inning until the end of the game and I had 140 happy boston fans onboard and probably 10 people including our New York based cabin crew who were not thrilled.

25 Tockeyhockey : i was flying back from SFO to BWI last week and as we were on final approach in a bit of fog, the pilot asked the tower "do you guys have the runway l
26 Post contains images Lostmoon744 : LOL! The inadvertent COMM/INTCM switches are the best for me. Short, but sweet. JFK GND/DEL: AFXXX: [All in French, blah blah, for a long time...] JF
27 Xjramper : At an airport where the lights are controlled by the airport, they have three settings. low, medium and high intensity. Usually they keep them low, e
28 Post contains images NWADC9 : They are. You can change the brightness of the lights if need-be. This is all great stuff. Post more!
29 Imiakhtar : one of my favourites has got to be when a BA 747 suffered engine failiures on all 4 engines after flying through volcanic ash in the 80s. the captain
30 Post contains links Nautilusgr : Don't know if they are true, but here they are anyway: A deer is on the runway... so... Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for take-off. Student: "What should
31 Xjramper : I need to edit what I said in my previous post. What I meant to say was that the controllers control the lights on field and the pilots control the li
32 FAGC : I remember the old guy well. On the LHR/JNB sectors, he would point out landmarks to passengers and recount trips he had done down the Zambezi River
33 Goingboeing : Most of you on this site, because of your age, won't really understand this, so I'll try to give you a little background. Back in the days of radio, t
34 1011 : When I fly UA when listening to Channel 9 I try to write down some of the other flight numbers that I hear inflight then look them up when I get home.
35 Stitch : I find OAK Center controllers to be really witty. Always a joy to listen to them on Channel 9. I was flying into EWR in Septemer 2000 on a 777 from DE
36 CHRISBA777ER : I heard this the other day while listening to AMS ATC. LH**** - "Lufthansa**** stand R** ready to push" AMS GND - "Push, cleared for Frankfurt, and ta
37 AirWillie6475 : I love channel 9. A lot more can go on than just switching frequencies with ATC. I hear game updates all the time. If you fly redeyes you might hear s
38 SJCRRPAX : Sometimes, the British sense of humor leaves much to be desired....
39 Keego : The funnniest Iv heard of was when a pilot was waiting in a long line for take off he accidently said "Im f*ckin bored" to atc. Atc then said "please
40 Stitch : UA has a 757/767 Captain who, during the flight, will explain flight details to passengers listening in on Channel 9, including the history of the pl
41 Tockeyhockey : pilot in a holding pattern in a 757, ATC says: "slow to airspeed 200." pilot complies a few minutes later, "slow to airspeed 170 for spacing" pilot co
42 Post contains images Iahflyr : But some airports have 5 settings of runway lights.............makes me think of Johnny pulling the plug on them in Airplane!
43 SFO2SVO : A bit offtopic but can't pilots tune one of the radios to some AM broadcast station? I think it is technically possible. Is this prohibited though?
44 Post contains images DLKAPA : Ever heard of a Propane Cannon?
45 AirWillie6475 : Yea just use the ADF but you have to know the AM frequency at the area you are flying at. It's not prohibited if pilots aren't doing anything related
46 AC888YOW : Please bear with me as I heard this transmission quite a long time ago and don't remember the details very well at all. Anyway, I think you'll all get
47 PHLapproach : Indeed, there are various intensity settings.
48 SJCRRPAX : I guess you must have missed John Wayne in "The High and Mighty" when the crippled DC-4 barely makes SFO from Hawaii. I believe the Duke orders the r
49 BigJimFX : I've seen at most, 5 settings called "Steps". Thats an airport with a tower. Some non-towered fields have "Pilot Controlled Lighting." A series of cl
50 Post contains images Mainliner : I was flying as co-pilot yesterday on one of Purdue's KingAirs, and during the approach to IND the controller said "Cleared to land...Go Boilers!" Pro
51 Post contains links YYZatcboy : From ORD TRACON and found here http://www.skygod.com/quotes/ordatc.html "Expect lower at the end of this transmission." "Citation 123, if you quit cal
52 MCOflyer : I thought this one was funny. I made this one up for the HP/US merger. Hope you a-netters like this. Tower: Cactus 321 cleared for take off Cactus 321
53 TPAnx : Controller I once interviewed was working the late shft at BOS..said it was a clear winter night..with a full moon..with little traffic. Pilot checked
54 OPNLguy : An ex-controller friend of mind told me of another controller at LAX ARTCC who would occasionally hand-off a late-night flight to another sector by ad
55 CPHGuard : In Denmark they usually measure the intensity of the light in percentage. I know for a fact, that regular light-setting at night is 10%. 100% will be
56 GQfluffy : Funniest thing I've ever heard was the JFK snow storm last spring, with...I forget which airline, an A340 off a runway and the rest of them, save for
57 SkyWest700 : My captain sais this one day: CENTER: Say altitude CAPT: I don't know I'm pretty high. Aw dang why did you make me look I'm scared of hights. I though
58 Aerodog : Back in the 70's a factory Learjet pilot was flying south over Mexico. He was cleared to Fl 370 but since there was almost no traffic and no radar cov
59 MCOflyer : Thats a good one. MCOflyer
60 Lincoln : It's been a while since I've listened to ORD ATC, but those people were always good for a laugh "See that big long line over on Tango*? That's the lin
61 Gh123 : Not nearly as good a story as some of the above but: I was on approach into Lexington one evening in a 172. As I was on my finals and a Learjet was ho
62 LH459 : My personal fave, heard about 2-3 years ago on an evening SFO-DEN leg, somewhere over Nevada. Center: Cactus xxx, that's Area 51 ahead of you, turn ri
63 SkepticAll : This one goes pretty far back. Working in a GCA (Ground Controlled Approach) shack one lazy, raining summer night in Germany about 20 years ago, I was
64 NZ560 : A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich, overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?
65 OPNLguy : That reminds me of another F. Lee Bailey/Lear story, from one of his books, IIRC.. We and a co-pilot had dropped someone off at OTIS AFB (Sen. Volpe,
66 Boston92 : This is my kind of punchline. Great.
67 Warreng24 : Does anyone know if ORD ATC/Ground/Tower is available online?
68 Boston92 : I was thinking the same the same thing, sorry I dont have an answer.
69 Post contains links Boston92 : No ord but a few majors. http://www.liveatc.net/feedindex.php
70 CO737 : I was doing a night flight a few years ago when I beleive the Yankees were playing the Red Sox for the Division Championship (its been a few years, so
71 Mir : I was flying into HPN one day and there was a business jet coming in behind. Approach called the jet and asked them to report a "slow moving Cessna" (
72 LouA340 : Haha. I surely remember that day. There were alot of headaches at JFK that day.
73 RiddlePilot215 : I'll never forget this one for me: Me: Daytona Ground, Riddle 703, with November, at Echo Three, ready for taxi, closed traffic Controller: Riddle 703
74 SB : Montreal-Trudeau a few months ago: Tower (119.90): Transat XXX cross runway 28, contact apron 122.07 the other side. TSC (119.90): Cross 28 and apron
75 Raggi : London Control: PanAm 123, descend and maintain 3000 feet, QNH 1019 PanAm 123: Can we have that in inches? London Control (without missing a beat) : P
76 Post contains images IAHFLYR : Had to think a bit on to remember this one! Mid to late 80's Eastern flew cargo flights into IAH for connections and allowed passengers for something
77 Keego : My dad was telling me of an this one. I think it was DL but I'm not 100% sure but for the sake of the post we'll say it is. Tower, "DLxxx say altitude
78 Airfoilsguy : Hmmmmm?
79 Keego : Woops didnt see that other post, thats the one he was teling me about alright.
80 Post contains images Daus : I was flying out of ORD and some plane was warned by control that if they didn't move from the runway, they were about to become a 747 hood ornament.
81 Positiverate : I think you mean LGA (LaGuardia)...
82 Jetset7E7 : I was pushing back a Flybe Dash 8, a while back, and I always have the ground frequency on in the Tugs, just incase a non-standard push is given. We'd
83 IFEMaster : A few months ago, flying AS from LAX to SEA, a little while after take off...we reach cruising altitude and the captain comes on the PA and switches t
84 Post contains images Scoliodon : The best so far!!! too good.
85 Post contains images Halls120 : how very true!
86 OPNLguy : The book I mentioned earlier I'm pretty sure was: Cleared for the Approach: In Defense of Flying (with John Greenya), Prentice-Hall, 1977. ISBN 0-13-
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