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Wanted: Airline Employees (Funny)  
User currently offlineFalcon84 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (6 years 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 2518 times:

Got this from a co-worker of mine. Pretty well sums up the job, and makes all of us who do have it, wonder what the hell we were thinking when we first took it.  Big grin

WANTED FOR HIRE

Customer Service Representative for a former Fortune 500 company. Responsibilities will include working holidays, nights and weekends, listening to the problems of anywhere from 100 to 1000 people from all over the world every day, taking care of the children of absent parents, lifting disabled people into and out of their wheelchairs, occasionally going for several hours standing without chance of food, drink or trips to porcelain facilities. Starting pay of $9/hour, quickly escalating to $18/hour after only 10 1/2 years!
Must be willing to wait for and/or ride a bus an average of 45 minutes each day after driving to the company's lot for transport to and from its facility. Must be willing to accept responsibility for the bad decisions of every member of the company at every level above yours. Must be willing to correct the mistakes of every person who has previously mishandled every customer; to explain why God does what he/she/it does; to have total recall of certain events which took place hours, days and weeks in the past; to justify that which can't be justified; to explain that which can't be explained; to reissue tickets, collect money, redirect traffic, maneuver a loading bridge, make announcements, call various coordinators, push various wheelchairs, watch various unattended children and bags, simultaneously within an extremely tight time frame and with the possibility of being audited and reprimanded by members of management hiding in secret places.

Must be willing to withstand occasionally crude and vulgar outbursts by members of the public. Must be willing to be told a billion times during the course of a long career that the person in front of you has absolutely no idea how to speak or understand any language that you speak. Must be willing to attend daily and, at times, nightly briefings in which the shortcomings of the least competent of your coworkers are brought to your attention as if they were your own. Must be willing to risk cardiac arrest in order to pad statistics.
A possibility exists that you may be furloughed or forced to accept a part-time position for anywhere from one to five years. In the event of a promotion to a different department, you will be placed on a pay scale equal to someone of half your actual amount of seniority.
Benefits include sick leave, free travel privileges, holiday pay and paid vacation. However, do not attempt to get sick during a holiday unless you are a good friend of a doctor. Do not attempt to use your free travel privileges to go to any place that anybody else would actually want to go to at a time when anybody else would actually enjoy trying to go there. Do not expect to get any worthwhile holiday off during your first twenty years of service. And if you do desire a day off, do not expect to be granted it, or, if you are, do not expect to be told you have that day off until 24 hours before that day comes.
Due to the exceptionally high volume of interest in our position we are unable to process paper applications, so all expressions of interest must be submitted via email. We will respond promptly within two weeks to two years of the receipt of your email.



Hey, it's been pretty serious on here the last few days, we can all use the laugh.

9 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineLN-MOW From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 1907 posts, RR: 14
Reply 1, posted (6 years 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 2495 times:

Laugh? Why laugh about the truth .... ?


- I am LN-MOW, and I approve this message.
User currently offlineJustlump From United States of America, joined Jan 2007, 154 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (6 years 1 day 13 hours ago) and read 2403 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!



Quoting LN-MOW (Reply 1):
Laugh? Why laugh about the truth .... ?

Amen to that!


User currently offlineFoxecho From United States of America, joined Dec 2000, 742 posts, RR: 17
Reply 3, posted (6 years 1 day 13 hours ago) and read 2388 times:

Some people on this forum need to see this, good post!

Andrew



..uh, we'll need that to live......
User currently offlinePanAm747 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 4242 posts, RR: 9
Reply 4, posted (6 years 1 day 13 hours ago) and read 2260 times:



Quote:
Some people on this forum need to see this

Oooh, be careful what you wish for...I can predict what some people will say in response!!  banghead 

Quote:
we can all use the laugh.

Darn right!! And then we'll realize how OUR job description is disturbingly similiar...

But thanks anyway!!



Pan Am:The World's Most Experienced Airline - P(oor) S(ailor's) A(irline): San Diego's Hometown Airline-Catch Our Smile!
User currently offlineAeroMojo From United States of America, joined Feb 2008, 104 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (6 years 1 day 12 hours ago) and read 2143 times:



Quoting LN-MOW (Reply 1):



Quoting Justlump (Reply 2):

However sad but true, It is very funny!

Quoting Foxecho (Reply 3):
Some people on this forum need to see this, good post!

This is true, especially for those who dont work and have never worked for an Airline yet use every opportunity to criticize us!! ( And yes I do realize I chose this profession of my own free will. )



well...atleast I'm not trapped in some office building, in a cubicle, behind a computer, & under flouresent lights all d
User currently offlineFoxecho From United States of America, joined Dec 2000, 742 posts, RR: 17
Reply 6, posted (6 years 1 day 12 hours ago) and read 2105 times:



Quoting AeroMojo (Reply 5):
( And yes I do realize I chose this profession of my own free will. )

As do I, I am coming to the realization myself that I don't KNOW anything else!!

Andrew  crazy 



..uh, we'll need that to live......
User currently offlineAA61Hvy From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 13977 posts, RR: 57
Reply 7, posted (6 years 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 2029 times:

I'm just glad I work in cargo and not passenger service  Silly


Go big or go home
User currently offlineAeroMojo From United States of America, joined Feb 2008, 104 posts, RR: 0
Reply 8, posted (6 years 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 1714 times:

Quoting Foxecho (Reply 6):
coming to the realization myself that I don't KNOW anything else!!

LOL, Totally!! CO has their brand on my A$$ like the rest of us! Even if I got canned I would just go to another Airline.

Quoting AA61Hvy (Reply 7):
I'm just glad I work in cargo and not passenger service

Well, we used to be crossed utilized in TUL but we split in October. I chose to stay on the Ramp!

[Edited 2008-04-17 14:52:02]


well...atleast I'm not trapped in some office building, in a cubicle, behind a computer, & under flouresent lights all d
User currently offlineG4LASRamper From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 170 posts, RR: 0
Reply 9, posted (6 years 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 1608 times:

Thank God I was maintenance instead of CSR or ramp... Wait...  Smile


"A pig that doesn't fly is just a pig." - Porco Rosso
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