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Funny ATC Exchange  
User currently offlineModesto2 From United States of America, joined Jul 2000, 2783 posts, RR: 5
Posted (6 years 3 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 23180 times:

Heard this today on Phoenix Approach:

Pilot to ATC:

"Phoenix Approach, Air Shuttle XXXX, we got a good feeling about runway 26." (requesting the runway)

ATC to Pilot:

"Air Shuttle XXXX, I don't have the same feeling."

 Smile

68 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineRyanair!!! From Australia, joined Mar 2002, 4742 posts, RR: 26
Reply 1, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 22894 times:

This is one of mine... I was still an ATC trainee then and it was my first transmission for the day. We all have specific text memorised for different approaches and a Fennec helicopter was approaching my aerodrome via the circuit. Here is what I said...

"XXX, report base with gears 3 greens."
"ATC, this is XXX. Roger report base, skids are down and welded permanently."

I was unplugged from the seat immediately and told to f*** off by my instructor to go sort myself out. Hahahahaha it is funny thinking back but I was so stressed back then.



Welcome to my starry one world alliance, a team in the sky!
User currently offlineNbgskygod From United States of America, joined May 2004, 791 posts, RR: 1
Reply 2, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 22643 times:

The other day I was working local, and a pilot reported some turkeys just next to the runway at midfield. I came back with "roger, I'll notify the flight school some of their instructors are loose"

Quoting Ryanair!!! (Reply 1):
"XXX, report base with gears 3 greens."
"ATC, this is XXX. Roger report base, skids are down and welded permanently."

I was unplugged from the seat immediately and told to f*** off by my instructor to go sort myself out. Hahahahaha it is funny thinking back but I was so stressed back then.

When I was controlling in the Navy, we used to have to say "check wheels down" for helicopters and fixed wing aircraft, I used to say "check skids/wheels down and welded"



"I use multi-billion dollar military satellite systems to find tupperware in the woods."
User currently offlineAlbird87 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 22600 times:



Quoting Ryanair!!! (Reply 1):
I was unplugged from the seat immediately and told to f*** off by my instructor to go sort myself out

wow thought that was a tad harsh! i mean it was a slip of the tounge really and thought that your instructor would of just kind of slap you on the head and have a good laugh!

I am off to school next year and hope i dont get that treatment! lol


User currently offlineDragon6172 From United States of America, joined Jul 2007, 1202 posts, RR: 0
Reply 4, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 22557 times:

Favorite one I have heard was an aircraft was told to hold because a B-52 was inbound with an engine out, to which the pilot replied..
"Oh no, the dreaded 7 engine approach"



Phrogs Phorever
User currently offlineSpacecadet From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 3594 posts, RR: 12
Reply 5, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 22567 times:

The other night, was listening on JFK tower (just got a scanner, yay) and heard this exchange:

Tower: "JetBlue XXX, you should get a refund on half your landing fees. You only used half the runway. Is that one of those new STOL A320's?"

JetBlue XXX: "Yeah, we just had it modified. It's working pretty good."

The pilot's deadpan delivery made it even funnier. He sounded like Steven Wright. Guy should be a comedian!



I'm tired of being a wanna-be league bowler. I wanna be a league bowler!
User currently offlineBoeing727 From United States of America, joined May 1999, 951 posts, RR: 0
Reply 6, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 22409 times:

CO 1585 was behind us yesterday and asked ATC what the highest altitude available was...the lady controller replied :"Continental 1585 you are cleared to FL600 and let me know if you need to level off before that..." I think they leveled off at FL310, but it is great to hear people with humor at 6am...it made my morning and ATC even told the CO flight :"...that was fun, wasn't it...??"

Boeing727


User currently offlineDragon6172 From United States of America, joined Jul 2007, 1202 posts, RR: 0
Reply 7, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 22389 times:



Quoting Boeing727 (Reply 6):
Continental 1585 you are cleared to FL600 and let me know if you need to level off before that..."

Thats funny, how about... cleared to FL600, above that contact Houston Space Center on 123.45.  Big grin



Phrogs Phorever
User currently offlineIAHFLYR From United States of America, joined Jun 2005, 4790 posts, RR: 22
Reply 8, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 22262 times:



Quoting Modesto2 (Thread starter):
Heard this today on Phoenix Approach:

Is that the best they have out there? Pretty lame compared to things heard on the Houston frequencies I'd imagine!!  bigthumbsup 



Any views shared are strictly my own and do not a represent those of any former employer.
User currently offlineModesto2 From United States of America, joined Jul 2000, 2783 posts, RR: 5
Reply 9, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 15 hours ago) and read 22030 times:



Quoting IAHFLYR (Reply 8):
Is that the best they have out there? Pretty lame compared to things heard on the Houston frequencies I'd imagine!!

Agreed!


User currently offlineAf773atmsp From United States of America, joined Aug 2006, 2653 posts, RR: 1
Reply 10, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 15 hours ago) and read 21884 times:

When the A380 came to MSP the ATC said "Northwest XXX get your camera ready."


It ain't no normal MD80 its a Super 80!
User currently offlineReadytotaxi From United Kingdom, joined Dec 2006, 3152 posts, RR: 2
Reply 11, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 21340 times:

Here's one going back a few years.

TOWER: Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact departure on 124.7

EASTERN 702: Tower, Eastern 702 switching to departure. By the way,after lift off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.

TOWER: Continental 635 cleared for takeoff, contact departure on 124.7, did you copy that report from Eastern?

CONTINENTAL 635: Continental 635, cleared for takeoff roger, and yes we copied Eastern and we've already notified our caterers.

 rotfl 



you don't get a second chance to make a first impression!
User currently offlineC680 From United States of America, joined Apr 2005, 588 posts, RR: 0
Reply 12, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 21235 times:

ATC: "King Air XXXX, traffic overtaking, a CO MD80 12'oclock, One thousand feet above"
King Air XXXX: "In sight, please ask the CO to refrain from flushing the lav."



My happy place is FL470 - what's yours?
User currently offlineN328KF From United States of America, joined May 2004, 6483 posts, RR: 3
Reply 13, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 21083 times:

How about this one, from an SR-71?

http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2007/11/21/story-sr71-pilots-sh.html



When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.' T.Roosevelt
User currently offlineJtamu97 From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 658 posts, RR: 2
Reply 14, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 19619 times:

Here is one from me flying a nice route from GLS to BPT which most of the time I flew over the Beach:

Me: BPT approach, 5035S 5,000 feet

Approach: 35S good day, see any babes on the beach today?

Me: If I can see them from 5,000 feet they are not Babes!

Approach: Ouch!

I agree about Houston, you can get some characters but also some you know whats as well.



Propeller, we don't need no stinkin propeller
User currently offlineIAHFLYR From United States of America, joined Jun 2005, 4790 posts, RR: 22
Reply 15, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 19504 times:

Quoting Jtamu97 (Reply 14):
Me: If I can see them from 5,000 feet they are not Babes!

Approach: Ouch!

Well done.....I think I know who that was!  Smile
[Edited 2008-06-20 11:36:22]


Any views shared are strictly my own and do not a represent those of any former employer.
User currently offlineNwAflyer07 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 19223 times:

Last week during my last dual flight before i soloed, we had a corperate jet taxi behind us. We were holding short of KORL's runway 25.

Twr: "Cessna 4QA cleared for takeoff runway 25. Make immediate right turn to make room for traffic"

Me: "Cleared for takeoff with immeidate right turn, 4QA"

Twr: "Learjet xxx cleared for takeoff following Cessna Skyhawk"

Learjet "Roger that tower, and we'll be careful of his propwash"

A little bit of humor on during my nervewraking pre-solo flight with my whole family and girlfriend watching. lol BTW, the solo went extremely well and my landings were very good. It felt great.


User currently offlineKl692 From Canada, joined Feb 2006, 675 posts, RR: 0
Reply 17, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 19075 times:

since we talking about ATC, I was been listening to YYZ approach all afternoon, I heard the atc tell AC A/C to speed up to 190 knts then she go on saying you can go faster if you like. what sup with that?


A310, A330,A346,B73H, B747,B772,B77W,CRJ
User currently offlineJgarrido From Guam, joined Mar 2007, 339 posts, RR: 0
Reply 18, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 18883 times:

ATC: xxxxx reduce speed 20 kts.

A/C: (indigently) Approach do you know the stall speed of our aircraft?

ATC: No sir but if you ask the pilot sitting next to you, I'm sure he can tell you.

[Edited 2008-06-20 12:30:53]

User currently offlineQantas744ER From United States of America, joined Jun 2005, 1286 posts, RR: 4
Reply 19, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 18415 times:



Quoting Kl692 (Reply 17):
since we talking about ATC, I was been listening to YYZ approach all afternoon, I heard the atc tell AC A/C to speed up to 190 knts then she go on saying you can go faster if you like. what sup with that?


ATC wanted the plane to go faster due to traffic, so they told him to speed up to 190, and out of courtesy the pilot then told ATC he can fly faster then 190 if its better. Simple as that.

leo



Happiness is V1 in Lagos
User currently offlineAirplanenut From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 654 posts, RR: 0
Reply 20, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 18360 times:

I was flying at BFI a week or so ago, and a Citation was ahead of us to depart:

Tower: Citation 40A, Runway 13R position and hold.

Citation: Roger [taxis and holds short]. Was that hold short or position and hold?

Tower: 40A, position and hold.

Citation: Roger, position and hold.. Citation alpha... 6... 4... uhh... whatever we are today!



Why yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist...
User currently offlineLincoln From United States of America, joined Nov 2004, 3887 posts, RR: 8
Reply 21, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 18292 times:



Quoting Airplanenut (Reply 20):
Citation: Roger, position and hold.. Citation alpha... 6... 4... uhh... whatever we are today!

I've heard that from airline pilots as well... "United... Uh...1...Uh...2, maybe,...Uh 34,..I think..."



CO Is My Airline of Choice || Baggage Claim is an airline's last chance to disappoint a customer || Next flts in profile
User currently offlineComairGuyCVG From United States of America, joined Jan 2006, 337 posts, RR: 1
Reply 22, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 18174 times:

A few years ago I was flying with a guy in a Citabria and we were approaching TRI for landing. There was jet traffic coming in on RWY 5, and we requested RWY 27. The jet traffic was coming in before us and ATC told us to reduce speed for spacing. The pilot pulls the power all the way back to almost stall speed....exaggerating the slow down. Then a minute later he askes ATC how spacing looks. ATC says: Yeah now that your flying at a hover the spacing is good.  Smile

User currently offlineOzTech From Australia, joined Feb 2007, 161 posts, RR: 0
Reply 23, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 17827 times:

I was in the cockpit of a QF 763 waiting for tow clearance when I heard the following..

QF****.. Sydney Ground,QF**** bay** in receipt of Charlie, request push and start...
Ground.. Qantas **** B200 King Air 2 taxying from Exec behind you, when clear, you can push and start..
QF****.. Roger the King Air, then push and start, QF****
Ground... That won't be necessary, just push and start when he is clear...

Made me laugh...

For our non Aussie speaking bretheren, Rogering is an English/Australian term for copulation...



No defect too big, no defect too small, nothing in the log --- No defect at all !!
User currently offlineYellowtail From United States of America, joined Jun 2005, 6025 posts, RR: 2
Reply 24, posted (6 years 3 weeks 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 17777 times:



Quoting IAHFLYR (Reply 8):
Pretty lame compared to things heard on the Houston frequencies I'd imagine!!   

Would that be IAH or HOU tower?



When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No-one has ever collided with the sky.
25 DUALRATED : oldy but goody, The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location
26 JET1977 : At RHV Tower, I have heard some funny ATC transmissions. RHV is a GA airport, which is located, in East San Jose CA. There are lots of fast food resta
27 Swiftski : This joke normally refers to Berlin, with the punch-line "In 1944, but we didn't land"
28 Jderden777 : here's a couple exchanges from the north ramp in CLT....home, sweet home! one night on the north ramp in CLT we were taxiing from E32 down to the nort
29 Jgarrido : My favorite punchline to that one is "...didn't stop. Only dropped something off."
30 RussianJet : Clearly exaggerated and repeated to the extent that it clearly just didn't actually hapen that way. Nice though it would be to believe, there'e just
31 Bluestreak : Heard a couple of years ago on approach to ATL: (WOMAK intersection usually has a speed restriction of 250 kts.) ASA CRJ : Atlanta Center, do you want
32 Phileet92 : I was listening to JFK twr a couple months ago and heard a convo btw a landing JetBlue and Twr. B6: Tower, theres a large flock of birds at about 500f
33 DUALRATED : That may be true ...but it's just a joke and a funny one I might add!
34 Fsnuffer : My ATC screw up was when I was in Nav school and the pilot made me do the radios my first time in the Tweett. After takeoff I switched to departure, i
35 797 : One that recently happened to me on a solo cross country down to TIX right after clearing the runway to head back to DAB: Me: Tower, uhh, there's a hu
36 DTWAGENT : These are all great. I need to get an ATC scanner for the DTW area so I can listen to what is going on.
37 ArmitageShanks : Was that Greg's Citabria? If so I can just picture it!
38 Mhodgson : This was told to me by one of my former instructors. It concerns a BA pilot who was known for being a bit of a wag. While waiting in the queue for dep
39 Post contains links Dispatchguy : Screw that, www.liveatc.net for streaming live ATC radios over the web...
40 Flanor : That one made me think of the folowing quote. I think I got it fom A.net from a few years back: Unknown aircraft: "I'm f...ing bored!" Air Traffic Co
41 474218 : I was on a BA ferry flight and the Captain called us all up to the flight station as a C-5 passed by at the same altitude just off our starboard side,
42 Dragon6172 : Not ATC, but this one always made me laugh. Supposed transmission between at CVBG and some Canucks: Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees t
43 Crjfixer : This is my Fave from MEM that i remember. i was taxing and another mech was running the radio Ground : Flagship MX XXXX Follow Beechcraft ahead then l
44 AWACSooner : When did they have Tweets in Nav school? I only flew on the T-43.
45 ArcrftLvr : BA 206 seems to be blessed with some clever pilots....
46 Swiftski : BA0206 is a MIA flight though
47 ArcrftLvr : Sounds like they are spending more time being clever and less time flying the correct route....
48 FlyingCrown : One Autumn evening at SNA, I had a student doing night landing training and everyone on freq. was in a party mood. The tower cleared the aircraft ahea
49 Mhodgson : Number stuck in my head. The callsign wasn't the important part
50 KaiGywer : These are all good ones, real or not
51 Aviators99 : Heard on 5/29/08: UAxxx: Departure, UAxxx, can you say the center frequency again? DEN: UAxxx contact Denver center on zzz.zz UAxxx: Yeah, we tried th
52 PW100 : Allegedly, while taxiing at London’s Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to no
53 LHR777 : Upon noticing some slow-to-clear traffic, JFK tower to BA Speedbird 002... "Speedbird Concorde 002 go around" BA002 - "Kennedy Tower, we're Concorde.
54 Post contains links Fsnuffer : http://www.airliners.net/photo/USA--..._id_DESC_&prev_id=&next_id=0711700 During the basic portion of Nav training you got two rides in the Tweet. On
55 LH498 : Enough reading, lets listen to some funny ATC exchanges:
56 UKA330 : One of my favorites lol!! A/C: "LHR Ground, Speedbird 123 request taxy." GND: "Speedbird 123, hold position, you'll be following a Virgin with a tight
57 ACW367 : Was at LHR yesterday (21 Jun) and heard the following . A BA 757 was on short finals when the controller told him to expedite his landing as he had a
58 Brenintw : Didn't SlamClick need to do something like that in a BAe once?
59 Litz : Heard an ASA (or Comair, never can remember which; was a CRJ though) pilot once announce to his planeload of passengers ..."Good evening and welcome
60 Spacecadet : Just heard on New York Departure: Comair 336: And, uh, departure, we just flew through some balloons at 14,000. ATC: Roger. Comair 336: They were yell
61 Trekster : Not goin to get any funnys from one of the current ATC guys at JFK. Sounds a bit moody. Dan
62 Sprout5199 : Heard one today at PBI: Delta XXX: Tower Delta XXX at the gate ready to push Tower: Delta XXX push at your discretion, Information Uniform is now curr
63 Wjcandee : The cranky guy is one of the funniest guys at JFK.
64 Trekster : Funny lady on the ATC this morning at JFK (Its 1048 gmt, so what ever the local time is there) There are lots of choppers going thru the class b airsp
65 Trekster : After having a look around, I think the Helo is the FoxHD one. There seems to have been a Bus Crash in the Queens area, it hit a utility pole. Then he
66 Rwy04LGA : A United 747 pulled off the active at FRA and passed a C-5B. Someone on the C-5 said to the United Captain 'Hey little buddy, what's your gross?' Unit
67 IAHFLYR : One that got a phone call from the Captain few years back.......DAL883 sitting on the parallel taxiway about number 30 for departure after a wall of w
68 Wjcandee : Yes.
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