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FedEx: Going To Transport Human Matter  
User currently offlineSingapore_Air From United Kingdom, joined Nov 2000, 13742 posts, RR: 19
Posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 1645 times:

FedEx Overnight PeoplePak Stirs Industry Concern

MEMPHIS, TN - Federal Express Corporation stunned the air
travel and commercial shipping industries today when president
and CEO Theodore Weise unveiled plans to begin shipping live
humans as early as April 2001, offering frugal travelers the
lowest airfares in U.S. history and sparking heated controversy
among top industry professionals.

AirlineBiz


Anyone can fly, only the best Soar.
25 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offline767ALLTHEWAY From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 659 posts, RR: 0
Reply 1, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 1555 times:

Great so now we can fly "Overnight Express" we can be garunteed that we will be there by the next day. This will be intersting flying on old DC-10's and 727-200's. Hey i would fly them.


"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear"
User currently offlineDIA From United States of America, joined Jan 2001, 3273 posts, RR: 28
Reply 2, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 1537 times:

Well, UPS already does with their quick-change 727s. Well, that is for charters, but same difference.

Maybe this will get the airlines to lower some fares on the competing routes with FEDEX.

They could even say, "At United, we even offer you a window at no extra cost!"



Ding! You are now free to keep supporting Frontier.
User currently offlineBoeing757/767 From United States of America, joined Jun 1999, 2282 posts, RR: 1
Reply 3, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 1519 times:

Ummm... Looks like April Fool's has come a bit early.


Free-thinking, left-leaning secularist
User currently offlineIkarus From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 3524 posts, RR: 2
Reply 4, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 1496 times:

The full joke article was posted here a few weeks ago - it was brilliantly funny!

Regards

Ikarus


User currently offlineSingapore_Air From United Kingdom, joined Nov 2000, 13742 posts, RR: 19
Reply 5, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 1483 times:

I am shocked!

This is not a joke. I do have a reputation to uphold you know.

This was from AirlineBiz, so it's obviously trustworthy.



Anyone can fly, only the best Soar.
User currently offlineBoeing757/767 From United States of America, joined Jun 1999, 2282 posts, RR: 1
Reply 6, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 1474 times:

It is a parody!!


Free-thinking, left-leaning secularist
User currently offlineMartyS From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 1471 times:

What a brilliant idea! This could improve aircraft utilization 10 fold. A whole new "Packet Class" could be developed utilizing that hard to fill space in the baggage hold.

Regards,
Marty


User currently offlineIkarus From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 3524 posts, RR: 2
Reply 8, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 1460 times:

Singapore Air, I'm sorry, but this time it is DEFINITELY a satirical, highly entertaining joke.

I don't see how this damages your reputation... Anyone can fail to get a joke sometimes...

Regards

Ikarus


User currently offlineJmc757 From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2000, 1298 posts, RR: 7
Reply 9, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 1446 times:

This seems to be fashionable - Cargo carriers start carrying humans! Recently HeavyLift of the Uk announced they are starting charters this summer with an A300B4 (for crew commonality, with their cargo pilots). The airline will be called Breeze.

This one is TRUE though.


User currently offlineA380 From Canada, joined Dec 2000, 658 posts, RR: 1
Reply 10, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 1422 times:

Who gets this satire first? Iainhol or Breaking news?
Perhaps Iainhol should sue Breaking News for copyright violation. Big grin


User currently offlineSingapore_Air From United Kingdom, joined Nov 2000, 13742 posts, RR: 19
Reply 11, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 1390 times:

Oh righ. Well I didn't get the joke so it wasn't good enough for me.

Well good for AirlineBiz! they've just lost a customer!



Anyone can fly, only the best Soar.
User currently offlineI Like To Fly From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 1188 posts, RR: 2
Reply 12, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 1375 times:

I'm sorry, but I have to ask. When you read this and thought it was a serious article, weren't you the least bit concerned or at least think twice about the following paragraph?

"And as for the FAA," he continued. "They're always like this. A couple people accidentally explode during decompression testing and suddenly they're all over your ass. But I'm sure they'll come around by April."

Just wondering what your reaction was when you read it.  Smile/happy/getting dizzy


User currently offlineGreg From United Kingdom, joined May 2005, 0 posts, RR: 0
Reply 13, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 1374 times:

I'm sorry, but anybody who didn't get this joke immediately has got to be pretty slow. Transporting people in body bags? It's unimaginable.

User currently offlineIainhol From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 1368 times:

One perspm looks like a fool and many laugh!
I think that him not getting is even better then the article!
Iain


User currently offlineL-188 From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 29795 posts, RR: 58
Reply 15, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 1359 times:

The real joke is that so many people think that this is a really big mistake or something new for Fed-ex.

Fed-ex used to do passenger charters many many moons ago, with 737-200's.


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Photo © AirNikon




OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
User currently offlineSingapore_Air From United Kingdom, joined Nov 2000, 13742 posts, RR: 19
Reply 16, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 1367 times:

I still don't get it. There's no mention of body bags or anything.

Still don't get it  Sad



Anyone can fly, only the best Soar.
User currently offlineIainhol From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 17, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 1352 times:

Singapore, have you learnt to read yet? It is so simple a blind man could get it!
Iain


User currently offlineIkarus From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 3524 posts, RR: 2
Reply 18, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1330 times:

Hey, no need to offend anyone - What's wrong with not getting a joke?

This forum would be a nicer place if everyone had at least some basic respect and manners towards everyone else...

Regards

Ikarus


User currently offlineXFSUgimpLB41X From United States of America, joined Aug 2000, 4195 posts, RR: 37
Reply 19, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1321 times:

There was a picture earlier of the big fat body bag with air holes in it.. it was hilarious.... the decompression thing cracked me up... When i first saw the headline i was like "what the heck!.."..

Anyhoo.. dont worry about it Singapore... its not like this is some serious reputation thing or something like that... One thing ive learned is just be yourself.. if other people dont like it, it's their problem.



Chicks dig winglets.
User currently offlineCliperb777 From United States of America, joined Jul 2000, 60 posts, RR: 0
Reply 20, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1319 times:

April's fools joke on April Issue?

User currently onlineFlaps From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 1270 posts, RR: 4
Reply 21, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 1303 times:

All pax will be containerized to minimize boarding delays and achieve maximum aircraft utilization. We will be the first airline to achieve a 24 hour utilization of aircraft with express freight at night, pax in the early am, the USPS contract flights during the day and an additional bank of pax flights in the early evening.
Engineering studies indicate capacities of 8 average adults per LD3 (lying down) , 16 per AYY (lying down, 2 rows wide and stacked 8 high), and in ultra economy each AMJ will hold 80 lying down apropriately "T" stacked 8 rows wide and 10 people deep. The individual weight of these containers could tax the floor capacity of some of our older 727 conversions but what the heck, we're getting rid of those anyway.

I've gotta stop putting in so many of these 14 hour days.


User currently offlineEarly Air From United States of America, joined Jan 2001, 611 posts, RR: 1
Reply 22, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 1295 times:

I am not even going to begin to say how horrible this is. When I saw the title I thought they were just going to throw a few seats in the front or back of their aircraft. Puttine live people in envelopes is obserd. It will be VERY cramped, no food, no restroom, bad air, sitting in something so small for such a long time. PEOPLE WILL DIE!!!! I really hope this is a joke, if now, I hope the FAA does not approve of it.

Rgds,
Early Air


User currently offlineCVG777 From United States of America, joined May 2000, 1251 posts, RR: 6
Reply 23, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 1287 times:

It is a joke. It was posted here a few weeks ago and it was hilarious. Search for that and read the whole article and you will see that it is actually a big parody. An early April Fools day joke, if you will.  Smile

User currently offlineTsully From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 651 posts, RR: 4
Reply 24, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days ago) and read 1268 times:

So what will second day air run me?  Smile




I love America. I guess that makes me Bush's poodle, but I'd rather be a dog in New York City than a prince in Riyadh.
User currently offlineEarly Air From United States of America, joined Jan 2001, 611 posts, RR: 1
Reply 25, posted (13 years 5 months 1 week 5 days 4 hours ago) and read 1215 times:

This whole thing was a joke.

Rgds,
Early Air


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