Penguinflies From United States of America, joined Apr 2000, 980 posts, RR: 0 Reply 9, posted (12 years 2 weeks 4 days 22 hours ago) and read 1362 times:
Dear NewCapitol Ventures INC:
My name is Herb Hoeksema and this is my idea for an airline.
I'll call it the MidSoutwest Express Connection
I'll fly the Boeing/MD 73780, which is a narrow/widebody aircraft foreignly-American built plane that shoots light tasers at other aircraft to annoy the flight attendants.
I'll fly out of DAL and MKE, slowly building my route network with firstclass-cattlecar service including plastic forks and knives served with glassware. Main courses will include Maine Lobster with sprinkled peanuts.
There will be no seats on my aircraft, since everyone wants to stand up in the aisle or use the lav, i'll just assign 4 square feet of personal space, calling this new innovation "air" and charged apporiately.
There will be 14 toilets on the airplane, but none in my terminals.
No children, or people acting like children will be allowed within 50 feet of any check-in counter, gate, or onboard any aircraft.
I will carry well-behaved livestock, like seeing-eye pigs, they will be charged a surcharge for "air".
My employees will be from the top of their field, including janitors from local high schools and ticket agents from places that are forced to sell detroit lions tickets (0-10 and COUNTING).
I'll charge customers $2.99 a minute to talk to reservations, while they try to find you the lowest fare, they will give you a complimentary tarot reading, endorsed by Ms. Cleo.
Thank you for your time..I hope you approve the venture capitol for my airline as my team and I would like to get started as soon as possible.
Lindy field From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 3087 posts, RR: 15 Reply 10, posted (12 years 2 weeks 4 days 22 hours ago) and read 1355 times:
Uber-duber-duber-flug International flying Peruvian goatherders on hadj charters. Hub in New Haven, CT at the New Haven Aerodrome. Fleet of Convair 880s and Dassault Mercures hush-kitted to meet stage 5 requirements. Naked flight attendents and fuzzy dice above every seat. Cargo ops for Sea World and Disneyland. Mysterious CEO shrouded in smoke and fog. Ads in the Weekly World News and Mother Jones. Belgians barred from travel. Pilots in firetruck red uniforms. Aircraft painted in shades of orange and purple. Every flight featuring a controlled dive. Luggage handlers selected from pool of talented ex-NBAers. Photograph of aircraft will be among top ten most popular airliners.net photos ever.