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Tranquilizer Darts  
User currently offlineMilemaster From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 1081 posts, RR: 2
Posted (12 years 12 months 4 days 13 hours ago) and read 4085 times:

I have a solution to the air rage problem on this planet. I am so excited about it I've decided to share it with all of you.

Let's talk about Tranquilizer dart guns!

Think about it, airlines assign standard issue dart guns complete with airline's logo's imprinted on the sides. They will rest nicely in monogrammed holsters on every FA, Ticket Agent, and pilot.

Here's a few scenarios:

PAX: "Hi, I fly 3 times a year and I want a free first class upgrade."

Ticket agent: "Sure, no problem."

*THUMP* (That's the sound of a dart gun with a silencer)

PAX: "ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzz"

Problem solved.

So, you all may ask.. "So, what do you do with the pile of sleeping people in front of the ticket counter?"

Ignore them, there are more flights on the schedule they can depart on.
-------

Another scenario:

PAX: "Hi, this coach meal really sucks. I hate you."

FA: "Sir/Ma'am, Welcome to the searing pain of a sedative laced tranquilizer dart."

*THUMP*

PAX: "ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZzzzzzzzZZZZ"

Problem also resolved.

--------
How about this one?

FA: "Ma'am, other passengers are complaining that your children are kicking seats and running up and down the aisles."

PAX: "Don't you tell me how to control my kids! I'll have you know we live in the nicest trailer in our trailerpark!"

*THUMP* followed by *THUMP *THUMP*

"ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ"
"zZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzZZZzzz I hate my mommie."
"ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZzz must..... kick..... more........seats.....zZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz"

It's beautiful how effective this is.

--------
Okay, final example:

PAX: "Excuse me, I am heinously fat and I demand a first class seat upgrade for the $129.00 fare I paid. I might even accept two coach seats for free. If you don't comply, I will sue your crappy airline."

FA: "Hold on a sec while I set my gun to fully automatic in order to accomlish the task I'm about to have."

*THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP*

PAX: "I'm starting to .... . feel..... a little......sleepy."

FA: "Sigh."

*THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP*

PAX: "ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzz Pfffrt."

------

Write your favorite airline... The future of peaceful skies depends on it!

17 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineNZ767 From New Zealand, joined Nov 2001, 1620 posts, RR: 1
Reply 1, posted (12 years 12 months 4 days 13 hours ago) and read 4015 times:

After reading that, who needs a tranquilizer? j/k
Sorry, couldn't resist! Big grin Big grin Big grin


User currently offlineMilemaster From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 1081 posts, RR: 2
Reply 2, posted (12 years 12 months 4 days 12 hours ago) and read 4000 times:

 Laugh out loud

User currently offlineBWIrwy4 From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 940 posts, RR: 1
Reply 3, posted (12 years 12 months 4 days 12 hours ago) and read 3978 times:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

User currently offlineCessnapimp From Canada, joined Oct 2001, 1320 posts, RR: 19
Reply 4, posted (12 years 12 months 4 days 10 hours ago) and read 3963 times:

Pap: Is this the carrousel for flight 1345? Well I don't see MY luggage and I really don't have time for your cr...

*THUMP*

aaaapzzzzz....

Very funny Milemaster! Thumbs up!  Big thumbs up


User currently offlineTwaneedsnohelp From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (12 years 12 months 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 3937 times:

funny shit dude

User currently offlineMilemaster From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 1081 posts, RR: 2
Reply 6, posted (12 years 12 months 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 3938 times:

I could go for hours on this....

How about:

Ticket Agent: "Sir, I apologize, first class is full... We can accomodate you and still get you in coach."

PAX: "This is unacceptable! Do you know who I am?!?!"

Ticket Agent: "Indeed. You're a sleeping idiot who is stuck at this airport until you wake up."

PAX: "Huh? What?"

*THUMP* *THUMP*

PAX "Oh christ, I'm gonna....gonna... ZZzzzzzzzzzzZZz"

Ticket Agent: "Please dispose of this heap of pretentious garbage into the pretentious bastard sleep lounge."


User currently offlineL-188 From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 29895 posts, RR: 58
Reply 7, posted (12 years 12 months 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 3915 times:

Only in the movies guys...They only work in the movies.

I have seen enough footage of bear taggings to know this is true.



OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
User currently offlineMilemaster From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 1081 posts, RR: 2
Reply 8, posted (12 years 12 months 4 days 6 hours ago) and read 3920 times:

We're being sarcastic L-188.

This is a funny haha.

Please tell me you realize that.


User currently offlineAer777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (12 years 12 months 4 days 5 hours ago) and read 3901 times:

snowed in or just had too much sugar?

User currently offlineMilemaster From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 1081 posts, RR: 2
Reply 10, posted (12 years 12 months 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 3903 times:

Just trying to lighten some of you people up. It gets a little too hard-core on this forum sometimes.

...if I see one more thread about Airbus vs. Boeing, or another 747 vs. A380 topic......  Pissed


User currently offlineCap'n Dan From Canada, joined Aug 2001, 231 posts, RR: 0
Reply 11, posted (12 years 12 months 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 3861 times:

Milemaster you made my day! Usually the jokes around here are painful.

User currently offlineEA CO AS From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 13873 posts, RR: 61
Reply 12, posted (12 years 12 months 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 3861 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Even better...


"What do you MEAN I have to take my shoes off?!? Let me talk to your supervi..."

*THUMP*





"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem - government IS the problem." - Ronald Reagan
User currently offlineExitRow From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (12 years 12 months 3 days 13 hours ago) and read 3842 times:

Dumb Guy: "No sir, I had no idea my brother put this toy grenade in my check-in bag."

LAX Security: "Sir, at check in, every ticket agent asks if anyone other than yourself has been in possession of your bags."

Dumb Guy: "Yes, but..."

*THUMP*



User currently offlineMilemaster From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 1081 posts, RR: 2
Reply 14, posted (12 years 12 months 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 3879 times:

Here is a prototype of the new spoiled passenger control system. Note the sight.





What good would a custom tranquilizer gun be without the proper matching darts?





User currently offlineAmmunition From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2002, 1065 posts, RR: 4
Reply 15, posted (12 years 12 months 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 3834 times:

LOL  Big thumbs up


Saint Augustine- 'The world is a book and those who do not travel, read only 1 page'
User currently offlineMilemaster From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 1081 posts, RR: 2
Reply 16, posted (12 years 12 months 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 3811 times:

 Laugh out loud

User currently offlineMilemaster From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 1081 posts, RR: 2
Reply 17, posted (12 years 12 months 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 3795 times:

I wonder if UA is going to jump on this bandwagon as well??


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