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Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!  
User currently offlineDTW/ORD Fan! From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 288 posts, RR: 0
Posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 17 hours ago) and read 4911 times:

Alright, all of us have encountered at least ONE passenger that makes a complete fool of his/herself. Or, says something really idiotic, etc. If its funny, outlandish, leud, whatever. Lets hear them. This has been done before, but I can't finda recent thread on it. So, start it up.

40 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineCedarjet From United Kingdom, joined May 1999, 8163 posts, RR: 54
Reply 1, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 17 hours ago) and read 4625 times:

Me. I went to Sydney a couple of weeks ago cos my Gran came to England in December and she's 86 and gets a little dotty at times, plus broke her arm while she was here. So I couriered her back. Before I went I was telling my friends I was couriering her, and when we got to immigration at Kingsford-Smith we got pulled over in the Green channel. The customs guy asked me what the purpose of my visit was, and as an automatic reflex (I don't make jokes with these people) I said, "I'm a courier." He must have been stunned, it was never this easy in training. I pulled a face and added, "That sounds a bit dodgy," and explained myself a little better. But it was a breathtakingly stupid thing to say and I was lucky I didn't get a rubber glove up my arse. Deserved it anyway.

Btw at check-in at Heathrow they took my Gran's nailclippers off her. I would love to know how a frail 86 year old with a broken arm could take over a plane with nailclippers. She would have struggled to clip her nails with them. I know there are no exceptions but I still thought it was funny.



fly Saha Air 707s daily from Tehran's downtown Mehrabad to Mashhad, Kish Island and Ahwaz
User currently offlineA330_DTW From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 371 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 17 hours ago) and read 4591 times:

The other day I called passenger "Allman" to the podium. Two guys came running over and said, "we were across the hall, but did you just call all men to the podium?"

Duh!


User currently offlineFlyCMH From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 2284 posts, RR: 10
Reply 3, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 16 hours ago) and read 4565 times:

I watched as a man told his wife that the aircraft pulling up to a gate at Port Columbus was a DC-8. The aircraft was an America West Express Canadair Regional Jet.

User currently offlinePortcolumbus From United States of America, joined Nov 2000, 1615 posts, RR: 4
Reply 4, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 4506 times:

I watched as a woman told his husband that the aircraft pulling up to a gate at Port Columbus was a 747. The aircraft was a COex. B1900.

User currently offlinePortcolumbus From United States of America, joined Nov 2000, 1615 posts, RR: 4
Reply 5, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 4502 times:

er, HER husband

User currently offlineThvgjp From Ukraine, joined Mar 2002, 158 posts, RR: 0
Reply 6, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 4489 times:

I saw a woman at the Scranton airshow ask someone if they actually flew a C5 transport to the airshow that was on static display. Duh how else would they get it there?? Drive it??

User currently offlineHoustondallas From Canada, joined Jul 2001, 92 posts, RR: 0
Reply 7, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 4475 times:

A little off topic but funny still...

Years ago I was on a plant tour at a major airframer. I had been on this tour many a time since my pop worked there. Well, they were showing us a wing box/jig and explaining why they were applying epoxy to ensure it is leak proof. Tour guide goes on about how the wing is actually where all the fuel is stored. Some woman then blurted out "What happens if the wing falls off? Is there gas in both wings? Won't the plane run out of gas?..."


User currently offlineTWAL1011 From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 206 posts, RR: 1
Reply 8, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 4430 times:

Don't know about dumbest, but I can tell you about nerve-racking...

Flight from PDX to PHX. This wacked out guy must have used the lav about 15 times on a 2-1/2 hour flight. He was wearing green sweat pants, a red shirt, and he looked only a half notch below insane. I couldn't wait for him to try something stupid so I could sack him.  Smile


User currently offlineDeltaRules From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 3811 posts, RR: 9
Reply 9, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 4390 times:

I wasn't on this flight, but my aunt was, and she told me about it. I'm not sure how funny everybody will think it is, but I liked it!-

My aunt and one of her friends were flying non-stop CMH-PHX a couple of years ago on America West. The friend, who had never flown before, was nervous about going, which is understandable if you don't know what to expect. They taxi to the runway, and as they get on the runway, the friend starts wailing & praying to God (out loud) to "make sure it was a safe flight," etc. As the story goes, most of the plane turned around, or looked up to see what was going on with this hysterical woman and my aunt, who is now slumped in her seat, too embarrassed to do anything...

(The rest of the flight & the return trip were uneventful)

DeltaRules



Let's Kick the Tires & Light the Fires!!
User currently offlineDeltaRules From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 3811 posts, RR: 9
Reply 10, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 4351 times:

Ok, I've got another one. Again, I wasn't on this flight, but I was supposed to be, had it not been for a change of plans.

My Grandma and our cousin were going CMH-ATL a few years ago. My Grandma did most of her flying in the 3- and 4-engine aircraft era, but through me, had seen pictures of two-engined jets. Well, she was on a 757. About half way through the flight, she somewhat panicked, and said to my cousin "You mean this plane only has TWO ENGINES??" I guess she was thinking that two engines couldn't do it, but they made it to ATL safely, and without further incident.

I guess she felt better on the 2nd leg of the trip, which was ATL-SJU on an L-1011.

I wonder what she would have been thinking had she been on an MD-80...

DeltaRules



Let's Kick the Tires & Light the Fires!!
User currently offlineHlywdCatft From United States of America, joined Jan 2001, 5321 posts, RR: 6
Reply 11, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 4331 times:

Well this isn't a stupid passenger story, but it is related to what the guy said about the DC-8 being a CRJ etc kind of thing.

Back in 1997 on my way to Spring Break in Florida, my buddy and I stopped at Cincinatti Covington CVG at the spotters area on the east side of the airport as is tradition every year driving from Detroit to Panama City to make that stop for lunch, go to Wendys take it to the Spotters area and eat and watch planes.

I was pointing out to my buddy a Comair Emb 120 and telling him about the one that crashed that year in Jan 1997 south of DTW. There were these two old couples that came together watching the planes parked right next to us. They overheard me telling my buddy about the DTW crash and thought I was talking about a plane that was going to crash or something because I over heard the old man say "Did you hear that, he said that some plane is gonna crash. We better leave"

I don't know where he thought that up that I could be psychic and know that a plane was going to crash, but I have never seen a bunch of Q-tips drive that fast out of somewhere in my life. It was a wierd trip, a lot of other strange and funny things happened on that drive down, but all others were non aviation related.


User currently offlineABQ757 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 293 posts, RR: 2
Reply 12, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 11 hours ago) and read 4277 times:

This isn't passenger related, it's airline employee/security gate attendant related. When I was coming back from LAX we stopped in DEN. We were pushing back from the gate at DEN on the DEN-ABQ leg and we had to go back, because one passenger had been left behind. The United gate agents had forgotten that he was being searched and let the plane leave without him.

Gabe


User currently offlineDl727-200adv From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 150 posts, RR: 0
Reply 13, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 11 hours ago) and read 4274 times:

I was on a DL 767-300 flying from CVG-ATL several years ago & the Captain came on the PA to give us an update on our eta & the weather at ATL. As soon as the captain says Atlanta this business guy several seats over in my row starts saying "Atlanta? What the f***? This flight is going to LAX right?" Everyone started looking at him funny & I remembered that at the same time we were boarding another DL 767-300 was boarding for LAX at the very next gate in the corner at the end of the concourse at CVG. This guy got in the wrong line & somehow got on the wrong flight & didn't realize it untill we were half way to ATL. The head flight attendant calmed him down assuring him that DL would make arrangements for him to catch an ATL-LAX flight when we arrived at ATL. I couldn't help thinking "what an idiot" as the FA's & captain had several times announced the flight number & destination prior to pushback & I guess the guy didn't catch on that he was on the wrong flight.

Around 8:00am on the morning of 9-11 as I was waiting to board DL571 at CVG (at a gate right across from the gates mentioned in the above earlier incident) a guy was telling his girlfriend (pointing to the 767-300 that was operating the flight) that it was a DC-10. I sure wish the guy's stupid comment had turned out to be the most memorable part of that flight & that day.

DL727-200adv


User currently offlineMikeclod From United States of America, joined Dec 2001, 272 posts, RR: 0
Reply 14, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 4259 times:

Overheard a guy at an airshow point out a B-1 and proceded to tell his wife all about the wonders of the F-16.

User currently offlineAmmunition From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2002, 1065 posts, RR: 4
Reply 15, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 4240 times:

well...... i was flying back home from asia, and my granny had come along for a visit, we boarded the plane and the FA's came around with drinks e.t.c, which we drank, but then there were empty plastic cups, and she said open the window and throw them out. About 5 mins after, i think we had started to taxi towards the runway, and she said, ' have we taken off yet' or 'are we up yet', lol, i was laughing so much. she was quite old tho.
regards
Ammunition



Saint Augustine- 'The world is a book and those who do not travel, read only 1 page'
User currently offlineLMML 14/32 From Malta, joined Jan 2001, 2565 posts, RR: 6
Reply 16, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 4215 times:

An elderly couple were waiting for AirMalta flight 101 when this B737 taxied in from another flight and parked right infront of us in the viewing gallery. The lady asked the man if this was the flight and the man said:

"No, stupid, this is flight 737. It's written on the plane. Look !!" (Boeing 737 written on the cowl)


Click for large version
Click here for full size photo!

Photo © Torsten Maiwald



On the same day a middle aged man and his mother were watching a plane climbing out. The woman was surprised at how high the plane was going but her son assured her that it will go lower as it passed the hill !!


User currently offlineA/c dxer From United States of America, joined Aug 2001, 416 posts, RR: 0
Reply 17, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 4201 times:

This is not a passenger story but I had two airplanes in MCO when one went to take off and lose a engine on his takeoff roll. So the captain brings the airplane back to the gate were I proceeded to call the gate agent that we were going to combine the flight but not to board the plane till I call her back and let her know how many people we can. Well about two minutes later I get a phone call from the captain and he tells me that the gate agent went ahead and loaded all the passengers into the one good plane in which case she got a very nastey phone call from me and we had to deplane the whole plane and do it all over again.

User currently offlineLMML 14/32 From Malta, joined Jan 2001, 2565 posts, RR: 6
Reply 18, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 4189 times:

I remember reading this story on the WEB. Following his Florida vacation this pap was complaining to his travel agent that he could not see the ocean from his Orlando hotel. The agent explained that the ocean is miles away from Orlando but the pap insisted that he still should have been able to see the ocean because Flosida is such a ....... "Narrow State" !!

This one must surely take the biscuit !!

Then there was another one who wanted to go to Pepsi-Cola on a Computer Jet. The travel agent was smart and booked her to Pensacola on a Commuter Jet.


User currently offlineArtsyman From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 4745 posts, RR: 34
Reply 19, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 4154 times:

When my girlfriend and I were in Hawaii recently, we were doing the Island hopping with Hawaiian airlines on the 717. There was a FA non revving with a few of her friends that were on her buddy passes or something. Anyways, she was being a total show-off about everything and prancing around like she owned the place. She then proceded to tell all her friends all about the aircraft we were on being a Boeing 737-800 series, and how it was this and that.... good ole 717 doesn't even remotely resemble a 738

If you don't know.... then don't pretend you do

Jer


User currently offlineLMML 14/32 From Malta, joined Jan 2001, 2565 posts, RR: 6
Reply 20, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 4 hours ago) and read 4122 times:

Then there was the Archbishop who was forgotten in the VIP lounge and "discovered" a few minutes after the aircraft had taken off. To my knowledge the plane did not turn back.
And, more recently, a coach full of pax was taken to the wrong aircraft - which was not going anywhere that day. Among the last pax to board was the Chairman of the airline himself !!
Both these incidents happened in Malta and to AirMalta.


User currently offlineJjbiv From United States of America, joined Jan 2001, 1226 posts, RR: 5
Reply 21, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 4 hours ago) and read 4111 times:

A/c dxer-

Why couldn't she go ahead and load her pax on the plane and then take the people from the disabled a/c? Just curious...

joe


User currently offlineAirsicknessbag From Germany, joined Aug 2000, 4723 posts, RR: 33
Reply 22, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 4109 times:

>>>"Atlanta? What the f***? This flight is going to LAX right?"

Sounds more like dumbest gate agent story.
Daniel Smile


User currently offlineA/c dxer From United States of America, joined Aug 2001, 416 posts, RR: 0
Reply 23, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 4081 times:

Because the airplane holds 119 people and she triedto put them all on the airplane and it was 737-200 with -9 engines in the middle of summer and performance wise we couldn't take that many people.

User currently offlineManni From South Korea, joined Nov 2001, 4221 posts, RR: 22
Reply 24, posted (12 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 4080 times:

A unshaven dirty looking passenger in a weelchair pushed by his 2 friend arrived at the aircraft door of an AA 767 to board a flight from BRU to ORD. The FA asked the young man in the weelchair what happened to him. He answered I just cale from Africa and I've got Ebola. The FA rushed into the cockpit and the Captain decided to ofload the bags of the man and his friends and leave them behind. Other passengers , who heard the conversation started worrying and the Captain had to come between to stop the unrest.

Note, the passenger was indeed connecting trough BRU from Africa but had an ankle broken.



SUPPORT THE LEBANESE CIVILIANS
25 Dazed767 : This lady almost ruined my night. I was on an HP flight from PHX-LAS, and we were already late pushing back. This lady comes on with her dog in a carr
26 Markk : I don't think this qualifies as dumb, but on a trip from IAH to PHX last summer I looked over at a guy with his head down and a gigantic strand of dr
27 Night Hawk : I dont know if it qualifies for "dumbest passenger" but it would definitely go in with the "how to scare the sh** out of other passengers" pile. A fri
28 Cody : An elderly couple once told us that we were not good pilots because we hit turbulence. At first I felt like defending myself, but then realized it was
29 LMML 14/32 : Greg, that reminds me of another one. A pap asks this FA show the pilot finds his way in the dark. The Fa answers that as long as we are between "thos
30 Drewwright : I was on a flight a few years ago from DFW-SLC, an AA MD-80, when we ran into the typical Rocky Mountain turbulence. The captain made his annoucement
31 CF-CPI : A couple of good ones off the top of my head: I was at ATL in the departure lounge waiting to board my DL L-1011 (sigh) to LAX. The ship was registere
32 GARUDAROD : Several years ago when GARUDA still flew to the USA, we had a backpacker type stick his foot through a vent and loose his shoe. Then he had the idioti
33 727LOVER : Back in 1986 I think, I was at MCO and this woman and her daughter were watching a People Express 727-200 taking of for Newark. The daughter says to t
34 Post contains images FredT : LMML, best explanation of aerial navigation I've heard - I'll make sure to remember that one! Here's a typical charter pax to the Med, arriving at the
35 Covert : on wednesday when i took nw 67 to detroit, this white guy from a small town around knoxville tennesee, sits next to me and tells me that he bought a 4
36 Post contains images DTW/ORD Fan! : Covert: and you wonder WHY Northwest and Detroit have 4-5 daily Amsterdam flights??? heh. These are some funny ones! I remember once spotting at the G
37 CB777 : Here's a couple I got while checking paxs in: This one lady she must have been in her early 40's, she asked me to give her a safe seat, so if the airp
38 Concorde1518 : I was on a Southwest flight, when a man decides that it's time to get up and get his bag after landing. We were still on the runway doing about 40 kno
39 Soupthansa : a) At Newark in March 96 preparing to board my Air South 737-200 I hear a man tell his wife "We're on a old Air South DC-10." b) I went with a crew fr
40 Garuda : Last July, on board GA's A333 from BNE to DPS, I was having a conversation with two gentlemen from Brisbane, next to the galley, around door 2R.... Th
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