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Aircraft Mechanic Jokes  
User currently offlineJim From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 455 posts, RR: 1
Posted (14 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 11691 times:



-YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN AVIATION MECHANIC IF YOU HAVE EVER WORKED AT OR DONE
AT LEAST 1 OF THE FOLLOWING..........

- Ever drank castor-oil - and not because of your mother

- Slept on concrete under your jet

- Ever said, "Oh, yes sir, its supposed to look like that."

- You know what a pointy head is

- You consider "-2380" finger prints on food an "aquired taste."

- Have sucked GOX to cure a hang-over

- You know what Jet1A tastes like

- Used a black grease pencil to fix an over worn tire

- You have a better store's supply in your coveralls or tool box than store's
does

- Used a piece of safetywire as a tooth pick

- You refer to a pilot as a "Control Stick Actuator"

- You've ever been duct taped to an office chair and then doused with
everything in the refrigerator and then sat out on the flightline for display

- You've ever been told to go and get "a yard of flightline or a bucket of
propwash" from store's

- Worked a 16 hour shift on a jet and then be told by operations that we
arent going to fly it till the next day

- Know that R &R doesnt always mean remove and replace, but raise and rotate

- You've ever said, "As long as it'll start every other try, you'll be fine
sir"

- You've ever considered a traditional Thanksgiving dinner to be a sandwich
off of the roach-coach in one hand and a wrench in the other

- You know what a roach-coach is

- And you like the food

- You have ever sat underneath the heat exchangers to get warm

- You've ever towed airplanes around to match the board in operations

- You believe that your "bird" has a soul

- You talk to your bird (In your head still counts)

- Your spouse refuses to watch any avaition shows with you

- You've ever said, "that NAV light burned out when you turned it on this
morning sir"

- You've ever used a wheel chock as a hammer

- The only thing you know about any city is where the good bars are

- You know more about your co-workers than your own family

- While watching commercials on t.v., you look for tail numbers on your birds

- You've ever wished a pilot would just say "great bird, thanks"

- You are proud that no-one on the Port understands you or thinks you are an
animal

- You've ever passed gas in the work truck just to clear it out

- You cant figure out why your 2 week advance per-diem is gone after 2 days

- You cant get through a trip without finding an ATM

- On a trip, the first place that you go is to the local store on a beer run

- Most of your advance is spent in $1.00 increments in a "club"

- You can sleep anywhere - anytime, but as soon as the engines shut down you
are wide awake

- Everyone thinks that your job mainly consists of waving your arms at
airplanes

- You have scars on you that arent from your spouse or significant other

- You've ever used a seat cushion as a pillow

- Gouged by the pig tail end of a safety wired cannon plug

- You know what a one-wire is

- You've ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry

- You change underwear and t-shirts more times than your coverall's

- Used dykes to trim your finger nails

- Used RTV to fix a stripped screw

- Made tampons out of paper towels for drain hole leaks

- Knocked back a rivet stem that was hanging out of a drain hole

- Wiped leaks down right before a crew show

- You know what a nose picker is

- The person held with the highest regard is the person that can drink a
6-pack with in a 5 minute period and not puke

- You've ever driven home after working a 36 hour shift, and dont remember
the drive

- You tell your peers that you are getting a divorce and the first thing that
they ask is "selling anything"

- Everyone you know has some kind of Nickname


9 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineBuff From Australia, joined Mar 2007, 0 posts, RR: 1
Reply 1, posted (14 years 6 months 2 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 11519 times:

Made my day Jim!

What exactly does an aviation mechanic do? (!)

Best Regards,

Buff,
Just another nickname...


User currently offlineNKP S2 From United States of America, joined Dec 1999, 1714 posts, RR: 5
Reply 2, posted (14 years 6 months 2 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 11501 times:

Pretty good. I've never worked general av,or been in the military,so some of them went over my head,but had me cracking up just the same. Yeah,heat exchangers make great glove driers,as do GPU exhausts. I have another: After washing your clothes,your sheets,pillowcases and other clothes have the faintest boquet of skydrol,and the lint collector is loaded with 387 bulbs and assorted hardware. Oh yeah,the tire valves on your car/truck have discarded yellow brass valve caps from aircraft wheels---just for that one-of-a-kind,esoteric look...and you find they get stolen off your car often because everyone else thinks so too.

User currently offlineDC10GUY From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 2685 posts, RR: 6
Reply 3, posted (14 years 6 months 2 weeks 16 hours ago) and read 11478 times:

CROSSTHREADS ... GOOD AS A SAFETY.


Next time try the old "dirty Sanchez" She'll love it !!!
User currently offlineJim From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 455 posts, RR: 1
Reply 4, posted (14 years 6 months 2 weeks 13 hours ago) and read 11470 times:

Gents,

Yes I too LOLd when these were passed on to me. I sent them to a couple of friends from A&P school.

I worked with a guy who used to say 'a crossed thread is a locking thread'.

One I thought of was "If your wife asks 'how do you keep your hands so soft?, and your answer is 'Aeroshell 7', you are definately an aircraft mechanic!

Jim


User currently offlineDl_mech From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 1937 posts, RR: 9
Reply 5, posted (14 years 6 months 2 weeks 13 hours ago) and read 11469 times:

You know you are an A/C mech if...you know what a rubbernut is.


This plane is built to withstand anything... except a bad pilot.
User currently offlineJim From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 455 posts, RR: 1
Reply 6, posted (14 years 6 months 2 weeks 12 hours ago) and read 11464 times:

Actually, I've always preferred the term 'laytex fastner' ;-)

Jim


User currently offlineNKP S2 From United States of America, joined Dec 1999, 1714 posts, RR: 5
Reply 7, posted (14 years 6 months 2 weeks 9 hours ago) and read 11460 times:

Why is it always the LAST nutplate that spins?

User currently offlineDl_mech From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 1937 posts, RR: 9
Reply 8, posted (14 years 6 months 2 weeks ago) and read 11447 times:

Because it's the one you forgot to check!


This plane is built to withstand anything... except a bad pilot.
User currently offlineJIM From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 455 posts, RR: 1
Reply 9, posted (14 years 6 months 1 week 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 11440 times:

At least with nutplates, you can perform a 'silicone holding device insertion'.

With those G_D_ Camlocks, you can't do anything but replace them or use a slide hammer vice-grip and convince the FO that you're allowed to have X number missing!

jim


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