Matt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 42 Posted (15 years 12 months 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 3152 times:
Ok...let's all bare our souls and give each other a good laugh....what time(s) did you get "red faced" while flying?
For me, 3 incidents stand out. First, was on a USAir 757 enroute from PHL to LAX, in May of '94. I was coming back with my friend, and he asked me what I thought of the Stewardess. I had my headset on when I answered. Have any of you noticed that you tend to talk way louder than you normally would if you had headphones on (presumably so you can hear yourself talking)? Well, that's exactly what I did. I told my friend...and about half the plane...and the Stewardess that I thought she looked like a slut.....
As soon as I realized what I did, I slid down into my seat for the remainder of the flight. I don't think it was an accident that they "ran out" of lunches for my friend and I. He still teases me about it from time to time.
Second time was a little more gauche. Happened on an America West 737-200 after we just landed in LAS from ONT. Same friend as with USAir was with me. I suddenly sneezed, and when I did, I accidentally "passed wind" at the same time. The fact that I had Mexican food for lunch didn't help. The sound reverberated through the cabin like a fog horn. Again, I felt 3 inches tall. the poor woman, who just got a heavy dose of my methane cocktail, ran from her seat so fast that she left her purse on the seat. I had to chase her down in the terminal to give it back, and apologize. Man, my face was redder than the belly of a Southwest.
Third one didn't actually happen to me, but I witnessed it from a rather close vantage. I'm sure this poor guy was embarrassed enough for both of us. On a Southwest 737-300, going from PHX to ONT, there was this HUGE man...I mean HUGE. I don't mean to sound mean to the obese, but to this day I still wonder how he got in through the door. I also marvel at the fact that he was seated in the rear of the plane (where I always sit too) and the plane didn't get thrown off balance and do a FedEx DC-10 number. The seat belt would not fit around his waist. He had to flag down an F/A, and ask for a "seat belt extension".....
Imagine that...having to ask for an additional seat belt.
I really felt bad for him.
LH423 From Canada, joined Jul 1999, 6501 posts, RR: 52
Reply 1, posted (15 years 12 months 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 2492 times:
Those were really funny
Mine isn't really as embarassing. I was flying home from Scotland last summer, and while at Edinburgh Airport, I bought the Richard Branson book Losing My Virginity, and boarded my plane. I was reading on my London-Boston leg, and drink service just went through, so I still had my tray down. I put down the book for a minute. Meanwhile my seat neighbour asked a passing F/A a question. After he answered her, he turned to me and said: "How dare you read that book on this aeroplane." Everone laughed and that was about it.
« On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux » Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
LHMark From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 42
Reply 2, posted (15 years 12 months 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 2483 times:
THe time: Last November. The Scene: an Icelandair 757 somewhere over Newfoundland. I was returning to my seat from the lav when my foot caught in the strap from someone's carry-on bag, causing me to take a trip down the aisle. I fell on my face and knocked some poor Icelandic lady's Sprite into her lap. Everyone got mad. No one has a sense of humor...
"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
Flygirl From Canada, joined Jun 2011, 0 posts, RR: 0
Reply 3, posted (15 years 12 months 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 2483 times:
You and I must be on the same wavelength. I just posted a similar topic "Humorous Anecdotes in Aviation". When my screen refreshed, there was yours. The two incidents I told of did not involve me so here's one for you that does.
While manning the boarding door for a flight from YYZ to YOW a businessman came on with the typical carry-on, a garment bag. When I saw that his seat assignment was in business class I offered to take the garment bag from him and hang it in the closet which is right at the boarding door on the 737. I had to step into the closet to get the hanger over the rod as the bag was on the heavy side. After taking three runs at the rod I finally hooked it on. As I stepped back out I said to the gentleman "There, consider yourself hung" pause "I mean your bag" pause "Aah, forget I said that". The gentleman grinned (and everyone else in business who heard me, laughed) and replied "I knew there was a good reason why I fly Canadian".
Hpa318 From United States of America, joined Dec 1999, 124 posts, RR: 0
Reply 4, posted (15 years 12 months 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 2476 times:
Im a cust. service rep for Ameria West, I was non-reving from LAS-JFK, I was lucky enoughto get first class with my buddy. Halfway through the flight we had really bad turbulenceso bad that everyone started vomiting. It was awful, the fa's made an announcement that the 2 rear lavs. were out of service, so only the first class lav was open for emergencies only. This poor 80 year old lady, who later I found out hadnt flown in over 30 years, couldnt hold in herdiahrea(sorry if graphic) she was in the aisle about 4 rows down in coach, when I heard people making noises and laughing, the poor lady soiled herself. It was all over the aisle of the plane from row 7-to the first class lav. To add insult to injury, while she was in the bathroom we had more bad turbulence, and we heard her start vomiting as well, this poor lady was really sick. When she finally opened the door the First class f/a was waiting for her with club soda w/lemon, and napkins. When she smelled that lav and saw that mess, she immediately threw up herself right onto the floor. The poor f/a was pregnant I remember, so she was probably not feeling well either. I felt so bad for everyone, the entire A320 reacked of the most horrible odor imaginable It was crazy, for the last 1.5 hours there were no lavs open. When we finally got to JFK they called the paramedics for that poor lady, and the f/a who sat for the remainder of the flt. The entire scenario is really disgusting but so funny at the same time, my friend and I were giggling at first because it was really nasty, we couldnt help it. But it really got serious, and we asked the crew if they needed help. I felt really bad for the cleaning crew in JFK that day who had to clean up that mess, my friend told me the outbound flight was delayed over an hourtrying to get the smell out of the carpet and seats.
Naimas From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (15 years 12 months 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 2453 times:
Once on a 757 nonstop from BOS-SEA we encountered severe turbulence while I was in the lavatory. It was near the time when we were starting to descend. I was being knocked back and forth and smacking the walls!
I would go to open the door to leave and several times almost hit the ceiling or smacked against it. I almost decided to stay in the lavatory for the landing! It was so bumpy (and I had a long walk to my seat) that I didnt go out until there was some smooth air, when I finally decided to go I opened the door and looked and the the entire cabin was smiling at me and some were giggling because they knew I was having a hard time of it in there. As usual the NWA FA was rude about me going back to my seat. And I hit an old snobby guy in the head when turbulence almost forced me into his lap. He wasnt amused.
I took my seat and we land not more that two minutes after that.
AirT85 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (15 years 12 months 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 2451 times:
Hey y'all! When i was like 5 or 6 i was flying from ATL-PIT on a Delta B-737-200. It was right after an episode of Maxwell Smart aired where he fell through the floor of a DC-8 lav. Well it scared me so when i went ot the bathroom i didnt lock the door so if anything happened with the floor(i was terrified ) Well, we hit some bad turbulence and the plane sortof rolled to the right just enough to slide meoff the toilet and out into the aisle! i was sooo embarassed! everybody saw this 5 year old kid laying in a heap at the back of the plane half naked! it was sooo bad! well the f/a had no clue what to do so she helped me up and quickly shoved me back into the lav to recover. everybody smiled when i walked down the aisle, i still havent recovered
Bizclass From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (15 years 12 months 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 2440 times:
Let me start by saying that this is a true story. I know that some people get on here and make up things and ruin the forum but this is a true story.
My wife and i (not my wife at the time) were flying from YVR to LHR on an Air Transat L1011 via Calgary and Gander, Newfoundland. I had known her for about 6 months and she was off to law school in Cardiff, Wales so we went over a couple of weeks early and did some travelling through the UK. A couple of weeks prior she had asked me if I had ever joined the "mile high club" and I said no and she said no as well and I forgot all about it. Well on the Gander to London leg after we had eaten and had a few drinks, she got up to go to the lavatory and pulled me along with her. I kind of had an idea what was going on and when we got to the back of the plane she pulled me into the lav with her. Well, we joined the mile high club and when I opened the door there were about 10 people lined up down the aisle waiting to use 1 of the 4 bathrooms! YIKES!!! Well we just walked out of there, what else could we do? Some people just looked at their shoes, probably as embarrased as we were and a couple people were laughing and one said congratulations. That was the most embarassed I have been in my life, let alone on a plane!
AA7771stClass From United States of America, joined Jun 1999, 296 posts, RR: 5
Reply 8, posted (15 years 12 months 2 days 23 hours ago) and read 2412 times:
My story is similar to AirT85's story, and not near as extreme as some of the others! My family and I were on a Qantas 747-400 en route from LAX to AKL and I got up to go to the lav. The door said it wasn't occupied but to my surprise, when I opened the door, there was a lady sitting on the toilet. I turned away fast enough but I still felt embaressed about doing that (not as embaressed as she was though.)
Flyboy_se From Sweden, joined Feb 2000, 891 posts, RR: 5
Reply 9, posted (15 years 12 months 2 days 22 hours ago) and read 2397 times:
the most embarrasing moment happend to me on a
swissair A 320 from ARN to ZRH.
it was due to language mixup.
i had troubles with my radio.i couldnt hear anything and i couldn t find any buttons.so i called the stewardess
and asked her"can you show me how to screw on the radio?".she told me " sorry,but we dont do that kinda service onboard" when i realized what i said i was more red than a paprika..lol
later during the same flight ,the same stewardess was passing with coffe trey.when she passed me she suddenly trumbeled and fell with the tray on me.
i dont know if it had something to do with what i said before...lol
now both the stewardess and i were red in our faces.
i dont know,but i seamed like it was just not my day that day
I prefer to be crazy and happy rather than normal and bitter
Bacardi182 From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 1091 posts, RR: 1
Reply 10, posted (15 years 12 months 2 days 22 hours ago) and read 2391 times:
my storie isn't as embarrasing as some others but it was bad for me. A few weeks ago i was lucky enough to be on a flight from buenos aires to miami on aa. after 2 abort take offs i decided i couldnt wait any more and went to the bathroom after we pulled off the runway for the second time. when i was coming out of the bathroom, i passed by the flight attendant while he was talking to the captain on the phone. as i was walking down the aisle the captain came on the pa and said that we should stay seated with our seat belts on. as he said this, all 50 people in the buisness class section where staring at me we walking down the aisle. i wasnt embarresed until i sat down and realized that i had peeed on my self a little bit while we where taxing!
Boeing 777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (15 years 12 months 2 days 15 hours ago) and read 2369 times:
I can relate to AA7771stClass' experience. You know, something has me wondering about how many people tend to not bother locking the the doors on the lavatories while they're using the toilet inside. On an AC L1011 flight from London Heathrow to YYC, I once opened a door marked "unoccupied" or something like that, but a man was sitting on the crapper inside and quickly pulled it shut and locked it! He said a couple of words I couldn't really make out, but very likely were the kind you don't your kids to even think about hearing them. He was probably even more humiliated than I was. I bet that was a lesson to him not to leave the lav door unlocked if he's going to use it!
A 320 Fanatic From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (15 years 12 months 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 2342 times:
Has to be when I was flying from DTW to MCO back in 1997....I noticed one of the stewardesses, and sort of got interested in her.....a girl sitting next to me noticed the way I was looking at her and asked if I liked her, and I responded yeah......what I did not know was that the mother of the stewardess was sitting right behind me in the next row back,how she got on the same flight as her I don't know, but she retorted "Well,that's nice that you like my daughter, but she's married",and she sort of said it rather loud as well....made about four rows look right at me.....although I don't think she noticed.......If she ever found out....I hope she did AFTER arrival at MCO!
Bluemeatball From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 184 posts, RR: 0
Reply 13, posted (15 years 12 months 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 2298 times:
Mine was back in the 70s while going to from Puerto Rico which was home at the time. The flight was a Delta DC-9 from MIA to ATL. I had gone aft to use the lav and upon opening the "vacant" door found a woman occupying the premises. I was so glad that the other lav became available first. The guys in the last row also got the full view and a great laugh. Always double check the lock in the lavs.
OnTheFly From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 51 posts, RR: 0
Reply 14, posted (15 years 12 months 1 day 13 hours ago) and read 2290 times:
Mine was on a KLM flight (AMS-JFK) in the mid-eighties. I had just spent a week in Amsterdam partying and it was time to get back home. Shortly after takeoff I began to feel seriously ill to my stomach. It was nothing I ate on the plane just, I figured, the cumulative effects of a week of non-stop craziness. Thirty minutes later I knew I was going to be sick and it was just a question of whether I would utilize the bag or the lav. I chose the lav. When I entered I saw my face was a disgusting shade of green and knew this was going to be a long flight. After "taking care of my business" I returned to my seat, but thirty minutes later it was time again, and so it went, like clockwork, until we landed at JFK. What a nightmare. The FAs knew what was up and felt terribly sorry for me but also kept their distance not wanting to catch my bug. The looks of the pax around me were a blend of empathy and disgust. As we were deplaning an FA pulled me aside right before I stepped off the plane. She said she was sorry I had such a difficult flight but "recommended" that I not fly in that condition ever again. I just nodded and walked off, lacking the energy to explain to her that I didn't feel ill until after takeoff. I was never happier to be off an airplane in my life.
Darrell From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 236 posts, RR: 0
Reply 15, posted (15 years 12 months 1 day 6 hours ago) and read 2278 times:
On Mothers day of 1997 I took my mother on a scenic flight from Hillsboro, OR (HIO) to Mt. St. Helens in a Piper Warrior. As we approached the Mountain, My mother started asking questions about the volcano, the airplane, flying in general and so on. She also asked me about my sister's new boyfriend and what I thought of him. I was doing my best to answer all of her questions, especially the ones about the airplane and flying. During the flight I had tuned in to Portland Approach, and we had been listening in for quite a while. All of a sudden, a voice comes over the radio..."Warrior 8149 whiskey, you've had a stuck mike for about 5 minutes and we're getting a little bit tired of hearing about your sister's slacker boyfriend"... I did'nt say another word for the remainder of the flight...
Flytime From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (15 years 12 months 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 2264 times:
Mine happened on an Olympic B-747 en route from JFK to Athens.
What with one thing and another, I didn't have time at JFK to use the lav'. After about half an hour on board I had to go. I was next to the window. The guy next to me was fast asleep, so I decided to step over him. As I did so my trousers split right in the you know where region. I quickly sat back down to see what the damage was. They were split from the beltline (at the back) right down to the zip (at the front).
After a while I was fit to burst. To hell with it - I strode down the aisle with my ass blowing in the wind. To make it worse this old dear pointed it out to me, and offered to stitch them for me. I poiltely declined!!!
I did not even have a suitable jacket to tie around my waist.
If I thought that was bad, the queue at customs in Athens was a nightmare.
Eg777er From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2000, 1844 posts, RR: 13
Reply 17, posted (15 years 12 months 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 2248 times:
Mine was flying from Heathrow to Bahrain in the early nineties on a BA 747. I was chatting to one of the stewardesses (I was only about 8 or 9) and she was telling me about this unnacompanied minor she was looking after that had to go all the way on to Hong Kong (the HKG flights used to stop in BAH to refuel). Anyway, she started joking that I could go on to Hong Kong with this UM. Anyway, I said 'No I've got to go to Bahrain to see our dog."
she thought I said "got to go to Bahrain, you silly dog".
(Quite a misuinderstanding!).
but my father (sitting in the row in front) thought I said "you silly cow" (even more of a misunderstanding!!!).
Nevertheless, all highly embarrassing - and as you can imagine I was in deep trouble. Luckily I had my brother (who had heard correctly) to back me up!!!!
MEA-707 From Netherlands, joined Nov 1999, 4540 posts, RR: 32
Reply 18, posted (15 years 12 months 1 day ago) and read 2244 times:
Mine was last year on a IAD-DEN United flight. Because I assumed none of the crew could speak or understand Dutch, I said out loud "Ah, look at that. That Flight attendant is clearly a queen as a cathedral" in Dutch, an expression... But you guess, the UAL F/A was fluent in Dutch, and he immediately asked for my boardingcard with a big smile, in Dutch
nobody has ever died from hard work, but why take the risk?
Mish1234 From Canada, joined Jun 1999, 298 posts, RR: 0
Reply 19, posted (15 years 12 months 17 hours ago) and read 2223 times:
I was on the 777 flying from Tel Aviv to Newark and before we took off there was one seat left.. and it was beside me. So this really tall large black man sat beside me cause there was a mistake in the bookings and there was no more room excpet for my seat 44G I think were there are the last 2 seats in the plane. Anyways I didnt really feel that good I mean I fly lots, im even a student pilot but I guess I was over excited and worried before the take-off. I started to breath really hard and holding my seat really tight at the same time during our lift off.. but mintues later I was when we just hit the worst turbulance EVER! The wing was jumping like it never jumped before!!! CRAZY!
I heard people going whoo hooo and ohh no!OO!
THe black man was stuck to his seat he wasent enjoying the flight at all and he was trying to sleep while I was getting my mind off the flight by watch some really funny movies. Well during the flight it was still really bad turbulance and I had to empty my blatter. So I jumped over this huge tall guy and went to the bathroom. When I came back the man was asleep for the first time.. and Damn I did not wanna wake him up. So I spoke to the Stewardist for a while when I decided to go back to my seat and I was half way over him when.......... BOOM! Turbulance hit harder than ever and my ass hit the man right in the face and he woke up with an ass infront of him he wasent to happy!
His reaction: GRRRRRRR.......
I said sorry.. I spoke to him later on when he woke up for the meal.. he said he was a basketball player.. duh I pretty much knew that already.. and that he was going to look for work in the NBA cause he didnt really like playing in Israel. So he spoke about games etc.. while we were eating this strange food that they gave us.
Anyways that was pretty much all.. I had a connecting flight after than to Toronto which was delayed for 3 hours thank you Cont. AIrlines for being very late at arriving at Newark.
Slawko From Canada, joined May 1999, 3804 posts, RR: 8
Reply 20, posted (15 years 11 months 4 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 2188 times:
Mine was back in 1996, I was travleing with a large Ukrainian group from Vancouver YVR to Hong Kong HKG, on an Air Canada 747-400, well there were about fifty of us between the ages of 14 and 25, and Air Canada gave us the entire upper deck of the 744. When we got on to the plane one of the FA's was being a bit rude, in the way that she asked us to take our seats, and one of teh group members said something about her in Ukrainian, and it wasn't very nice, and we all laughed. Well the FS turned around and gave her reply to that in perfect Ukrainian, needless to say she was quite mean to us all the way to Hong Kong. On the return trip from Taipei to Hong kong our CX flight was delayed, and when we got to HKG Air Canada refused to open the doors to let us back on, even though they were still on the ground. I have a pic that I took from the terminal of our Airplane taking off for Vancouver, I don't know if it had anything to do with how we acted to the FS's but it was funny none the less
"Clive Beddoe says he favours competition, but his actions do not support that idea." Robert Milton - CEO Air Canada
CXA330-342 From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 398 posts, RR: 0
Reply 21, posted (15 years 11 months 4 weeks 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 2150 times:
My most embarassing moment was about 6 or 7 years ago when I was about 7 years old. I was flying on Gulf Air, I can't remember what route it was. I was really tired because we had to make a lot of stops. About 5 minutes after take off, I had fallen asleep, and I didn't wake up until my mom forced me to when we had parked at the jetway. As I got into the aisle, I noticed a few people laughing at me. I started laughing too, even though I didn't have a clue about what was so funny. As I took one last look at my seat before I started walking towards the door, I noticed a blotch on the fabric of the seat. I was like, "Did I spill any water?" Then I remembered I had slept the whole flight. I quickly looked down. The whole mid-section of my pants had the same blotch as the seat fabric. I guess I had spilled water!
Mas777 From United Kingdom, joined Jul 1999, 2939 posts, RR: 5
Reply 22, posted (15 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 7 hours ago) and read 2122 times:
Several classics -
In 1985 - I yakked all over 3 rows of seats on a British Airways L1011 TriStar - I apologize to anyone who was on that flight from London to Kuala Lumpur...I was only 12.
I constantly fall asleep on long-hauls - most often ending up with my head in the aisle - I'm often woken up by the F/A 'coz my heads blocking the aisle...I have since decided to try and travel Club World whenever possible.
Flying back from Paris-CDG to London Gatwick before X'mas - I was the only Club Europe passenger along with my friend. Now that was pretty embarrasing as the entire aircraft had to wait for us to board before departing. There were only 2 Club seats on the plane - as all the others were converted to EuroTraveller. We were the only 2 passengers to get served a Champagne lunch...and then on arrival - the F/A thanked us for flying with Captain Kunt - to which I burst out in fits of hysterics. The F/A then sniggered on the PA and some passengers started laughing and clapping...I'm sorry Captain Kunt but if you're reading this I really didn't mean to start all that...