Flygirl From Canada, joined Jun 2011, 0 posts, RR: 0 Posted (13 years 3 months 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 1919 times:
Flying IS fun, but there is a funnier side to aviation. Would you share with us some of the more hilarious incidents you have witnessed or heard of that relate to flying?
Allow me to start with two of my favourites. These events really took place on the airline that I work for. I know the people involved but sorry, no names will be revealed...I protect the innocent.
A paraplegic gentleman was travelling on us and upon arrival at his final destination, his personal wheelchair was brought up to the bridge. To the horror of the crew and rampies, one wheel was damaged. The Incharge immediately started apologising to the man and outlined the procedure of filling out a damage report in the baggage claim area. Sighing the gentleman replied "I'm too tired to do this now, I'll look into it tomorrow". The response from the Incharge was "Oh no sir, if you don't do it right away, you won't have a leg to stand on". I heard that she turned a lovely shade of red and fortunately the gentleman had a great sense of humour.
During a hot dinner meal service a passenger waved over a flight attendant and pointed to the baked potato half in his casserole dish. "Look at that potato, it's bad!" he said. Sure enough, there was a bruised area. The F/A leaned over and said "You're right sir". She proceded to scoop up the potato and slap it a couple of times while scolding "Bad potato, bad bad potato" and then laid it back in the dish. Turning to the passenger she stated, "If is gives you any more trouble, you just let me know". (Yes, she did replace the meal eventually).
L1011 From United States of America, joined exactly 14 years ago today! , 1583 posts, RR: 10 Reply 1, posted (13 years 3 months 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1724 times:
On an Eastern 727 multi-stop flight from Tuscon to Atlanta, we had a male flight attendant who made hilarious PA announcements. One of them was, "Keep your hands, feet, and arms inside the aircraft at all times. Anyone caught throwing cigarette butts out the window will lose their bathroom privileges for the remainder of the flight."
On an American MD-80 flight from Dallas-Ft. Worth to Richmond, the passenger behind me had spilled something, and the flight attendant pretended to chide her for it. She also had to be reminded to put up her seat back and tray table. Upon landing, an announcement was made similar to this: "Thank you for choosing American for your flight. We enjoyed serving you, except for the passenger in 12F, who should be ashamed of herself."
On an Alaska MD-80 from ANC to SEA, upon landing and reversing engines, the voice of the male flight attendant boomed out with "Whoa, big fella!" I heard this same announcement on an AA flight. I wonder if there is a book of humorous PA announcements and both of them read it.
UAPilot7 From United States of America, joined May 1999, 338 posts, RR: 1 Reply 2, posted (13 years 3 months 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 1689 times:
A long time ago in Airways, in that section in the back of humerouse airline stories, it said a flight attendant, after going through a bumpy landing said " Thank you for flying ________ Airlines. Please remain seated until Captain Kangroo up there taxi's us to the gate".
Ratzz From Sweden, joined Sep 1999, 198 posts, RR: 0 Reply 3, posted (13 years 3 months 5 hours ago) and read 1669 times:
This happend some ten years ago,the flightcrew of a Braathens 767-200 returned to ARN after a long charter flight and in the log the engineer read:FWD toilet really,really stinks...pls check.
The engineer went about his buissness since it was the only remark made in the log that flight,and after completing the nightstop checks,he deicded to check the FWD toilet...
The hours went by and the engineer finally found himself having dismantled the entire FWD toilet,as well as the pipes leading to the center waste tank...still without finding any malfunction whatsoever..
A qiuck look at his watch told him that he´d better reassemble the toilet before the groundcrew started to prepare the a/c for the morning flight..said&done,he was finished at the same time the catering crew started to uplift the catering adn the ground crew started to load the a/c...
Finding nothing wrong with the system,and after spending some six hours(an entire night almost)crawling,peeking and searching the toilet system,he was all worn out,so in the logbook he wrote:
-Gentlemen,FWD toilet(as any other toilet)normally stinks after use...
The engineer was my father
Silverstreak From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 281 posts, RR: 1 Reply 5, posted (13 years 2 months 4 weeks 1 day 12 hours ago) and read 1638 times:
Many years back, I was f/a for a exec. transport div. of Texas company out of Dallas, Texas. We had two G-lls and two Lockheed Jetstars. On two occasions we had a Russian and a Chinese group of engineers on board(14 pax each). At that time the US had little business with the Communist bloc, but the company I worked for had the technolygy that Russia and China lacked. All sorts of preparations were made for our VIP pax. Lots of vodka, Chinese food, and cigarettes amongst other items were put on board. Both times I had to deal with the "representive" for these groups. For the Russians,the rep was the only one to be the interperter, the same for the Chinese(they all had Maos' little red book). In the air, both groups insisted on no service. Instead the meal service was a group affair with everyone distributing the meal trays through the cabin. I was to seat with them and drink and eat. The Russians wouldn't touch the vodka and the Chinese hated the food made for them. Instead, they drank most of the Coke and all of the Coors beer. The Russians were fascinated with Texas, so the company flew us to San Antonio to see the Alamo(where else). The "interperter" explained to me his version of the Alamo(the Americans had attacked the Mexicans....). After the Alamo, we went to one of the Mexican restaurants on the Riverwalk.The Russians were puzzled by the hot tortillas, but ate everything...and drink lots of Coke. After that, back on the G-ll to fly them back to SFO for their trip home.For both groups, I was not allowed to move their huge trunks....it was the group thing again. Each time they would move one of the heavy trunks out of the cargo door, I prayed they would not hit the side of the a/c as they lowered the huge trunks down to me below. A great memory for me!
Wannabe From United States of America, joined Jun 1999, 675 posts, RR: 3 Reply 6, posted (13 years 2 months 4 weeks 1 day 6 hours ago) and read 1623 times:
I have a friend who flys for a major carrier (who will go unnamed to protect the guilty). He was copilot on a flight from San Juan, PR that was delayed about 15 minutes due to a minor mechanical problem. After the problem was fixed and the plane was being pushed back, he got on the pa system and apologized for the delay, telling the passangers that they would try to make up the time in the air. He then keyed off the mike, or thought he did, and continued on for the benefit of the pilot. "The reason for the delay was the machine we use to damage your luggage was broken, so we had to damage all the luggage manually." 5 seconds later, one of the fa's rang the cockpit and said, "We all heard that!!!" It turned out that an executive for the carrier was on board, and did not think it was funny, even though the passangers were laughing. My friend wound up with a reprimand, although he says that it was worth it.
I was also on an American flight where the female first officer was celebrating her 30th birthday on that day. The flight attendants made an announcement giving out that fact, and saying that she was single and available. They then had all the passengers sing happy birthday to her.
Aircanada From Canada, joined Jul 1999, 148 posts, RR: 0 Reply 7, posted (13 years 2 months 4 weeks 1 day 6 hours ago) and read 1617 times:
I was once on a WestJet flight from YYC - YEG and during the safety demonstration, a male F/A said this:
"In the event of a depressurization, oxygen mask will drop from the compartments above you. Once the shock wears off and you stop screaming, place over your mouth and nose and breath normally."
"Smoking is prohibited on this flight. Any person caught smoking will go to jail for a really, really long time."
I don't know but I think it's more of an impact when they liven it up with humour.
747-600X From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 2742 posts, RR: 17 Reply 9, posted (13 years 2 months 4 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 1572 times:
The first, on a Delta L-1011 from Altanta back up here to ORD, the breaks weren't working on the ground, and the flight was delayed while the passengers had already borded. The pilot made an announcement as to the problem, and a while later that it had been fixed... Upon landing, only about a second after touching down, he got on the horn and announced, "Well, now we'll see if it worked!"
The other was on a United flight, I think a 727, down to somewhere in New Mexico... two flight attendants were chasing each other up and down the aisles. I wasn't too imrpessed by this, but we all found it pretty funny.
Also, some airports have been known to post on their departure screens instead of 'Boarding' the message 'Fixin' to Leave'.
"Mental health is reality at all cost." -- M. Scott Peck, 'The Road Less Traveled'