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Airline Humor!  
User currently offlineSudden From Sweden, joined Jul 2001, 4169 posts, RR: 5
Posted (13 years 7 months 1 week 23 hours ago) and read 1884 times:

I really like these jokes.  Big thumbs up


They don't sell tickets, they sell chances.
All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.

Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.

You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.

Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.

The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.

When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.

You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, "Just once."

No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.

You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.

All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.

When in doubt, flat out!
2 replies: All unread, jump to last
User currently offlineCanadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (13 years 7 months 1 week 22 hours ago) and read 1774 times:

Heheheheheh...good stuff. Hey Robby Milton and/or Steve Smith?
Are you reading this?

"Z I P a dee doo daaaaah!"

"Let's doooo the T A N G O, agggaaaiiiiiiiin!"

User currently offlineSudden From Sweden, joined Jul 2001, 4169 posts, RR: 5
Reply 2, posted (13 years 7 months 1 week 2 hours ago) and read 1601 times:

This is just to much!  Big thumbs up

Airline gate agent
An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded United flight was canceled.

A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"

Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, "F*** you!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that too."

Have a great weekend all!

When in doubt, flat out!
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