Soupthansa From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (12 years 1 month 2 weeks 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 3083 times:
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the Hub
Passengers were running
bypassing the overpriced pub
Running with fear,others getting out of the way
As they dash hurriedly
For their 35 seat CRJ
To the gate they arrive
At Last they are done
only to learn sadly
It's only the start of the fun
Flight 5595, nonstop to Toledo
Not going tonight, should have stayed in Escondido
Rush to Customer Service, Yes they will help them on their way
but all flights east are cancelled due to weather today
All night long, stranded among the lost
Should have flown the other guys
Whatever the cost
Sleep at Gate 44, Oh what a thought
But the snow will end tonight
New tickets will not be bought
As we sleep with fright
Morning arrives, all is sunny
The jets are humming
Like the Ever Ready Bunny
To Toledo, To Flint
All board with delight
12 Hours at the HUB
The little jets takeoff with all their might
A long black road
Will point Us to our delvierance
We, the tired hungry Load
The flight ends quickly, way faster than most
Quickly to the concourse, as fast as the CRJ will coast
"We've made it!" as all the pax exlcaim
The passengers run off swifly
Now to Baggage Claim...........
LoneStarMike From United States of America, joined Jul 2000, 3885 posts, RR: 32
Reply 8, posted (12 years 1 month 2 weeks 1 day 12 hours ago) and read 2899 times:
Here's another one that Southwest Airlines sometimes uses for their inflight PA's at Christmas time.
At this time we would like to review your safety card; Please direct your attention to the flight attendant in your area.
'Twas __ days before Christmas on this Southwest aircraft All the customers were stowing, both forward and aft.
The oxygen masks were all hung up with care; If lack of oxygen occurred, they would be readily there. You would grab at the mask, pull it down to your face; Over the nose and mouth, the strap keeps it in place.
The seatbelts were snug around everyone's lap; Flat metal end into the buckle, now pull on the strap. To release the belt, lift the buckle upright, Then you can get up if we have a smooth flight.
Well what if all of a sudden there arose such a clatter; We would spring from our seats to see what's the matter... Two forward emergency door exits on the left and the right; Two overwing exits, don't push and don't fight.
If those exits aren't accessible for you; Then quick to the back, there are two exit doors there, too. To help find your way out to an exit door Red and White emergency lights are right there on the floor.
When what to our wondering eyes does appear? We landed on water, but no - never fear... Just pull up on the seat cushion and hold to it tight It will keep you afloat all day and all night.
Now everyone listen and do as I say; Put your seatbacks upright, and your tray tables away. Observe seatbelt/no smoking signs whenever they're lit And we'll have no trouble... no, not a bit.
On Flight # ____, Captain ____'s in command; He/She's a heck of a pilot, with a real steady hand. And sitting in the seat, off to his/her right; It's First Officer ____, his/her partner tonight.
And back in the cabin, what have we here? Why it's (Flight Attendant names) not eight tiny reindeer. Now sit back in your seats, and we'll serve you up right... Until then, Merry Christmas and to all a good flight.