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What Do Pilots Do When They Need To ...  
User currently offlineNoUFO From Germany, joined Apr 2001, 7953 posts, RR: 12
Posted (8 years 4 months 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 16230 times:

... take a piss or worse? Do they have a bag, and if yes: how do they prevent the bag from flying around? And how can they handle their willy in the cockpit with an anti-g suit on? Or do they wear kind of diapers?


I support the right to arm bears
36 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineJetjack74 From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 7408 posts, RR: 50
Reply 1, posted (8 years 4 months 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 16236 times:
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In fighters and helos, they have a pisstube. I don't know how they work in an anti-G suit though.


Made from jets!
User currently offlineVzlet From United States of America, joined Mar 2004, 835 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (8 years 4 months 1 week 12 hours ago) and read 16199 times:

An exerpt from one of CDR. Jack Woodul's highly enjoyable "Youthly Puresome" tales:


"On the road again, Puresome began to realize that the gallon of coke/coffee/Exedrin he had consumed as breakfast was saying, “Hi! Remember me?” from his nether regions. “No hill for a stepper,” thought Puresome, who gritted his teeth and concentrated on not wobbling around too much.

But as that great clock in the sky counted off another 1.0 of flight time, Youthly was fantasizing about hollow legs and trying desperately not to think about the wash of the waves below in the Golfo de Mexico. When his wingman noticed his lead was deteriorating, things were truly serious.

But the money the U.S. government had spent on survival training was not lost on Puresome. Inventorying the contents of the cockpit and wondering as to the waterproof qualities of his canvas nav bag, he happened to notice that his kneeboard radio frequency card was held in a zip-lock plastic sheath! Things moved smartly from here.

Quickly, he passed the lead to his wingman and advised him that he was going to move off from the flight to perform a control check. Seizing the stick between his knees and shucking the cards from the zip-lock, Puresome began the involved procedure of torso-harness, g-suit and flight-suit disassembly, as well as the search mission incident to the filling of the bag.

The rest of the flight marveled at the gyrations of the fighter undergoing rigorous control checking. Finally, it was done — the bag was safely sealed and stowed in a corner of the cockpit, and the flight suit, g-suit and torso harness were back in place."



"That's so stupid! If they're so secret, why are they out where everyone can see them?" - my kid
User currently offlineSlamClick From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 10062 posts, RR: 68
Reply 3, posted (8 years 4 months 1 week 10 hours ago) and read 16173 times:

Yeah, lots of military aircraft had a 'relief tube' which was a funnel about an inch and a half across the top and maybe five inches long, leading to a flexible rubber tube that went to a small venturi below the cockpit area somewhere. Maybe later I'll check the database for a photo that shows this venturi.

However, some L-19 bird dogs did not.

View Large View Medium
Click here for bigger photo!

Photo © Bruce Leibowitz



So one day, in circumstances similar to the tale above, I found myself in that same situation.

Well, I agonized over the situation for the longest hour you can imagine and finally realized that an immediate solution had to be found. Finally I unstrapped my seat belt/shoulder harness, shucked out of my parachute harness and got the plane trimmed hands-off as best I could. Then I crawled up and knelt on the seat and opened the side window out against the wing and sort of tried to get the procedure below the bottom of the window sill.

All was well until . . .

V

V

V

A B-52 came up and tried to refuel on me!



Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
User currently offlineConfuscius From United States of America, joined Aug 2001, 3854 posts, RR: 1
Reply 4, posted (8 years 4 months 1 week 6 hours ago) and read 16108 times:

I don't know how they work in an anti-G suit though"

G-suit wraps only around the waist, thigh and calf. It's open in the crotch area like crotchless pantyhose. See picture below for comparison.



 Wow!



Ain't I a stinker?
User currently offlineNoUFO From Germany, joined Apr 2001, 7953 posts, RR: 12
Reply 5, posted (8 years 4 months 1 week 2 hours ago) and read 16062 times:

Quoting Confuscius (Reply 4):
G-suit wraps only around the waist

Then I can only hope Autoflug's Libelle (a water filled Anti-G suit for Typhoon pilots) has a 2-way zipper.

Thanks for the responses, guys.
Next time I enter a cockpit at IAA Berlin, I will ask where this damn 'relief tube' is. Big grin



I support the right to arm bears
User currently offlineF4wso From United States of America, joined Oct 2003, 974 posts, RR: 11
Reply 6, posted (8 years 4 months 1 week 1 hour ago) and read 16063 times:

I never saw a relief tube in the F-4. We had the "piddle packs" for Transatlantic crossings. When we had to wear the anti-exposure suits, there was a catheter to get through the layers of underwear, mesh liner, flight suit, anti-exposure suit, and g-suit. The anti-exposure suit was also known as the "poopie suit". We had a low residue flight lunch for the long flights to reduce the need to go in the suit. It was mostly meat chunks and cheese. The value of the g-suit on those flights was to keep blood from by pushing the test valve.
Gary
Cottage Grove, MN, USA



Seeking an honest week's pay for an honest day's work
User currently offlineJutes85 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (8 years 4 months 1 week 1 hour ago) and read 16052 times:

They just do what our Griffon pilots do, land in a middle of a random field and go behind a tree or something. Come back and take-off. Big grin

User currently offlineMD11Engineer From Germany, joined Oct 2003, 14011 posts, RR: 62
Reply 8, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 17 hours ago) and read 15982 times:

My stepgrandfather, who was a Luftwaffe pilot during WW2 told me the following story from his training days:

During one of his first cross country solos in an open Buecker biplane he felt the morning coffee trying to say hello. No place to land (and he had thorougly gotten lost by then) and the pressure i his bladder becoming bigger and bigger. Finaly he just let go, into his underpants, flight suit and seat pack parachute (the type you'll see in WW2 newsreels hanging of the butt of the pilots. It doubles as a seat cushion). Eventually he landed back at his base, very embarrased and.... got charged to pay for the cleaning of the parachute.

Jan


User currently offlineKC135TopBoom From United States of America, joined Jan 2005, 12138 posts, RR: 51
Reply 9, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 15930 times:

Quoting MD11Engineer (Reply 8):
got charged to pay for the cleaning of the parachute.

Ahhh, the "good 'ol days", LOL.

In the KC-135, we had a full latrine, complete with the 'ol "honey bucket". But, when women started flying with us, the honey bucket was quickly replaced with a fully functioning and electric chemical flush toliet.


User currently offlineSlamClick From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 10062 posts, RR: 68
Reply 10, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 15921 times:

Quoting F4wso (Reply 6):
I never saw a relief tube in the F-4.

Right, they wouldn't work very well on a pressurized aircraft - tendency to whistle.

There were also some early ones without the venturi, just a little angle for the overboard vent. It was considered a great joke to twist the angle around forward, making it, in effect, a pitot. Seems the tube would get about half full before it would all blow back up through the funnel.

I pride myself that in about three thousand hours of military flying I never once used this device.

Quoting NoUFO (Thread starter):
or worse?

In my unit in Vietnam one of the backseat mission specialists got 'caught short' in a big way - number two. He found a plastic bag somewhere and used that but the pilots immediately discovered (guess how) what he'd done. I guess it was so bad that they landed at an un-manned, non-secured airfield deep in Charlieville somewhere and made him remove it - and then made him beg them not to leave him there.

Guys with any sort of distress (like the usual reaction to Chloroquine-Primaquine pills) would remove themselves from the flight schedule for a couple of days. There was no other solution for us.

* * *


On a related matter, troops riding on the H-19 helicopter were sometimes told that if they felt airsick, they could use the hatch that gave direct access to the slingload hook. It was in the middle of the cargo deck. Problem was, the airflow around a helicopter is not nice and clean like it is an airplane. Hurl anything down that hatch in flight and there was a good chance it would blow right back in your face.



Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
User currently offlineRC135U From United States of America, joined May 2005, 293 posts, RR: 0
Reply 11, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 15907 times:

Quoting KC135TopBoom (Reply 9):
In the KC-135, we had a full latrine, complete with the 'ol "honey bucket". But, when women started flying with us, the honey bucket was quickly replaced with a fully functioning and electric chemical flush toliet.

Yeah, the RC had the flush toilet too, but not always "fully functioning". Not good on an 18+ hour mission with 30 or more crew aboard.


User currently offline474218 From United States of America, joined Oct 2005, 6340 posts, RR: 9
Reply 12, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 15899 times:

Quoting KC135TopBoom (Reply 9):
In the KC-135, we had a full latrine, complete with the 'ol "honey bucket". But, when women started flying with us, the honey bucket was quickly replaced with a fully functioning and electric chemical flush toliet.

I remember the "honey bucket" on the KC-135. On a flight from Okinawa to California (16 hours long) the crew chief made us sign a sheet when we used the "bucket." If you were the last one on the list when we landed, you had to empty it.


User currently offlineUH60FtRucker From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 15861 times:

Quoting Jutes85 (Reply 7):
They just do what our Griffon pilots do, land in a middle of a random field and go behind a tree or something. Come back and take-off.

That's the way it is with us when we were stateside. One of the pilots or crew chiefs needed to take a piss... we simply landed in a field and let them step off.

Can't do that here. When we flew from Kuwait to Baghdad we had something similar to a piss bag, but it was a bottle. And when we were finished, we simply discarded it out the window while doing 150kts, 50ft above the ground! Piss Bombs.

On a related note: On a flight up to Mosul we had two crew chiefs out back... unknown to us they had managed to fill a two litter bottle w/ piss. While we were flying low and fast, they suddenly broke out into hysterical laughter. We had overflown a pack of camels and they released their bottle at the perfect moment and managed to wack one of the camels. PFCs  Yeah sure

-UH60


User currently offlineRedFlyer From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 4318 posts, RR: 28
Reply 14, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 15817 times:

I recall right after the first Gulf War there was a news report of an F-16 that crashed. The report indicated that the pilot was in the process of using his piddle-pack and while stepping on the rudder pedals the plane went wildly out of control. He ended up having to eject just before impact (I hope he managed to zip it back up before ejecting).

He claimed to have followed procedures and de-activated the rudder pedals in order to perform the in-cockpit maneuver, but apparently they were still active. I never heard what the outcome of the investigation was. Perhaps someone on here could fill in the blanks.

Quoting UH60FtRucker (Reply 13):
and they released their bottle at the perfect moment and managed to wack one of the camels.

Given the stench of some camels I encountered in my travels years ago, I'm sure the smell of the urine was an improvement.  Big grin



I'm not a racist...I hate Biden, too.
User currently offlineNoUFO From Germany, joined Apr 2001, 7953 posts, RR: 12
Reply 15, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 15811 times:

Quoting NoUFO (Reply 5):
Then I can only hope Autoflug's Libelle (a water filled Anti-G suit for Typhoon pilots) has a 2-way zipper.

I forgot to post a picture of "Libelle":


Quoting UH60FtRucker (Reply 13):
and they released their bottle at the perfect moment and managed to wack one of the camels

That's not very nice.  grumpy 



I support the right to arm bears
User currently offline474218 From United States of America, joined Oct 2005, 6340 posts, RR: 9
Reply 16, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 1 hour ago) and read 15792 times:

Quoting RedFlyer (Reply 14):
recall right after the first Gulf War there was a news report of an F-16 that crashed. The report indicated that the pilot was in the process of using his piddle-pack and while stepping on the rudder pedals the plane went wildly out of control. He ended up having to eject just before impact (I hope he managed to zip it back up before ejecting).

He claimed to have followed procedures and de-activated the rudder pedals in order to perform the in-cockpit maneuver, but apparently they were still active. I never heard what the outcome of the investigation was. Perhaps someone on here could fill in the blanks.

True story happened in April 1991, it was a Air National Guard F-16 out of the Mid-West the pilot was being checked out on a cross country flight. He was heading to Vanderberg AFB and the accident happened while he was over Air Force Plant 42, Palmdale, California. When I heard about the crash I went to check it out. But I couldn't find the crash site. Drove around the airport perimeter twice looking. Later I found out the aircraft hit the ground at a 90% angle and there was nothing left, just some scorched earth. An interesting side note is that the L-1011 fatigue test airframe was parked less than 100 yards from where the F-16 impacted the earth.


User currently offlineJohnM From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 346 posts, RR: 0
Reply 17, posted (8 years 4 months 5 days 23 hours ago) and read 15760 times:

UH-60, your reply reminded me of the fun of the FARP piss with a UH-60. Walk back under the engine, and TRY to have the exhaust blow the rotor wash away enough to take a leak. I learned to put my hand out and attempt to gauge the airflow to allow the proper aim point. I don't think urine would be good for the airframe, plus I don't ever take a leak on my bird, or hopefully on me. That would be very bad. When behind schedule, that was about the quickest way to get the job done. Some FOBs are not a good choice for this technique, such as Warhorse and sometimes Caldwell. Of course Washington pad would be bad also.

I got back to the states in Nov, was at good ol Speicher. I imagine you might have seen your last cloud for the next 6 months or so, the temps are getting toasty. Be safe and keep an eye out. Our top stick wiggler got about 725 hours, hope you can break our record. Top CE was somewhere around 670 hrs. The sand storms got nasty in May, and kept going until August. Hope your air warrior keeps working!

John


User currently offlineJarheadK5 From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 216 posts, RR: 1
Reply 18, posted (8 years 4 months 5 days 17 hours ago) and read 15706 times:

On helicopters, Gatorade bottles come in very handy for these moments.


Quoting SlamClick (Reply 10):
On a related matter, troops riding on the H-19 helicopter were sometimes told that if they felt airsick, they could use the hatch that gave direct access to the slingload hook. It was in the middle of the cargo deck. Problem was, the airflow around a helicopter is not nice and clean like it is an airplane. Hurl anything down that hatch in flight and there was a good chance it would blow right back in your face.

The CH-53E is really bad about this, since the "hell hole" is about 3ft x 3ft.

I used a .50cal ammo can with a ziploc bag once for the "or worse" scenario - my in-flight lunch (USN "bag nasty" from the boat) had apparently picked up some hydraulic fluid at some point, and it had its way with my colon. Was NOT a pleasant flight...



Cleared to Contact
User currently offlineRedFlyer From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 4318 posts, RR: 28
Reply 19, posted (8 years 4 months 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 15646 times:

Quoting 474218 (Reply 16):
True story happened in April 1991, it was a Air National Guard F-16 out of the Mid-West the pilot was being checked out on a cross country flight. He was heading to Vanderberg AFB and the accident happened while he was over Air Force Plant 42, Palmdale, California. When I heard about the crash I went to check it out. But I couldn't find the crash site. Drove around the airport perimeter twice looking. Later I found out the aircraft hit the ground at a 90% angle and there was nothing left, just some scorched earth. An interesting side note is that the L-1011 fatigue test airframe was parked less than 100 yards from where the F-16 impacted the earth.

So did you ever hear what the outcome of the investigation was? Did he in fact de-activate the rudder pedals (which means there was some mechanical/electrical malfunction that kept them active) or did he forget to perform that procedure? Or was it even something entirely different? Given the destructive force of the impact, perhaps there was no way to even determine what went wrong.

Regardless, what a way to lose your airplane!



I'm not a racist...I hate Biden, too.
User currently offline474218 From United States of America, joined Oct 2005, 6340 posts, RR: 9
Reply 20, posted (8 years 4 months 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 15575 times:

Quoting RedFlyer (Reply 19):
So did you ever hear what the outcome of the investigation was? Did he in fact de-activate the rudder pedals (which means there was some mechanical/electrical malfunction that kept them active) or did he forget to perform that procedure? Or was it even something entirely different? Given the destructive force of the impact, perhaps there was no way to even determine what went wrong.

All I know is that his foot slipped and hit the rudder pedals. The rest as they say, is history. I don't even know if you can de-activate the rudder pedals. I know on some aircraft you can hydraulically shut off the rudder, but have no idea how to de-activate the pedals.


User currently offlineRedFlyer From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 4318 posts, RR: 28
Reply 21, posted (8 years 4 months 4 days 19 hours ago) and read 15487 times:

Quoting 474218 (Reply 20):
I don't even know if you can de-activate the rudder pedals.

That's what was reported by the media so I suppose the "de-activation" capability has to be taken with a grain of salt.



I'm not a racist...I hate Biden, too.
User currently offline777 From Italy, joined Sep 2005, 515 posts, RR: 0
Reply 22, posted (8 years 4 months 4 days 14 hours ago) and read 15460 times:

Quoting MD11Engineer (Reply 8):
During one of his first cross country solos in an open Buecker biplane he felt the morning coffee trying to say hello.

 rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl 

In general, as a son of a former copter pilot, I can tell you some stories about that:

- The copter that my father was used to pilot for decades (Sikorsky SH-3D, the naval version of the well known S-61) was provided with a sort of funnel equipped with a pipe that empty outside, just in front of the main access door. So, when they were in the need to do something "light", they had to use this "device"; for heavier needs (during the cold war the exercise flights were often near 5 hours... they were used to store in the copter some old newspaper... the rest of the story it's up to your imagination...)

- An unlucky colleague of my father, that was used to flew the AB-212, had a very bad day when he experienced a gastroenteritis attack during a flight above the sea ... after some minute spent in an unequal fight, he let go all in the flight suit... but it was only the beginning... since the AB-212 it's a two blades copter, one of its main characteristics is the high level of vibrations... long story short: when, after more than an hour, he landed "safely" at the base, the copter was a mess: the brown product of his sickness used the vibrations caused by the copter to peep out from his flight suit collar and to make dirty all around the cockpit! At the end all his colleagues started a money collection for the "winner" of that unpleasant cleaning job...


User currently offlineF4wso From United States of America, joined Oct 2003, 974 posts, RR: 11
Reply 23, posted (8 years 4 months 4 days 6 hours ago) and read 15378 times:

Another plane that doesn't have a relief tube is the C-130. While on display at an airshow in the 90's, our loadmaster caught a visitor trying to use an oxygen hose for near the paratroop door for a relief tube. It generated a lot of maintenance.
Gary
Cottage Grove, MN, USA



Seeking an honest week's pay for an honest day's work
User currently offlineCancidas From Poland, joined Jul 2003, 4112 posts, RR: 11
Reply 24, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 15209 times:

well you military guys have got all the resources. as for us GA pilots, well there is always a gatorade bottle in the cockpit for some reason....


"...cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home."
25 SlamClick : And the option of landing just about anywhere without running the risk of starring in Al Qaeda's next beheading video. I once managed a five hour and
26 AFHokie : Dear Lord won't you give me a 12 Inch Penis...
27 Bsergonomics : Don't joke. You think that the dimensions of the Pee Tubes (as they're known here, across the pond) just materialised out of a Member of Parliament's
28 JarheadK5 : Supposedly, the reason the US military's flightsuits were changed in the mid-90's (to the style with the side zippers at the hips) was to accomodate
29 Memphis : Before the Memphis Belle was moved to Dayton, I used to help restore the awesome B-17 on the weekends...corrision was all over that airplane, yet one
30 F4wso : I have heard from C-130 maintenance folks that there is a lot of corrosion around the C-130 near the urinal drains. I was fortunate to visit the Memp
31 Memphis : All I can say is "working on that particular aircraft was a chance of a lifetime!"
32 EMBQA : You should see the corrosion in the same areas in commercial aircraft. I swear most people loose all sense of decent human nature when they fly. Can'
33 Post contains images RedFlyer : You mean I'm not the only one to do that stuff on a plane?
34 F4wso : Gee, I was talking about in the lower structure where the tubing runs through the fuselage. An old tale goes...One really cold winter, a ramper was h
35 Post contains images Starlionblue : Talk about a game of chicken. How do you think the astronauts did it before those fancy zero-g toilets? Apollo had a little tube that led to vacuum,
36 RedFlyer : Given the close-quarter environment, wouldn't sticking your finger in a hole and pulling it out risk having tiny pieces of fecal matter floating thro
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