New California Drivers' Exam
>
> For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California,
> here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you
> who do, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions
> (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that
> the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special
> application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan
Area.
>
> GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:
>
> Name:___________________ Stage name: ____________________
>
> Agent:___________________ Attorney:_______________________
>
> Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male ___formerly female ____both
>
> *If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
> Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely
> operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___
>
> Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
> *If you don't own a cell phone, please
explain:________________________
>
> Please check hair color:
> Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
> Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead
>
> Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that
apply)
> [ ] Eating
> [ } Drinking Starbucks coffee
> [ ] Applying make-up
> [ ] Shaving (male or female)
> [ ] Talking on the phone
> [ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
> [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
> [ ] Tanning
> [X ] Snorting cocaine (already checked for your convenience)
> [ ] Watching TV
> [ ] Reading Variety
> [ ] Surfing the net via laptop
>
> Please indicate how many times
> a) you expect to shoot at other drivers _____
> b) how many times you expect to be shot at while driving _____
>
> If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
> a) Call the police to report the crime.
> b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car
> on the news in a high-speed chase.
> c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular
phone
> company for 911 call not going through.
> d) Call your therapist.
>
> In the event of an earthquake, you should :
> a) stop your car.
> b) keep driving and hope for the best.
> c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
> d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.
>
> In the instance of rain, you should:
> a) never drive over 5 MPH.
> b) drive twice as fast as usual.
> c) you're not sure what "rain" is.
>
> Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ______.
>
> Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
> a) Prozac
> b) Zovirax
> c) Lithium
> d) Zanax
> e) Valium
> f) Zoloft
> *If none, please explain: __________________.
>
> Length of daily commute:
> a) 1 hour
> b) 2 hours
> c) 3 hours
> d) 4 hours or more
>
> When stopped by police, you should:
> a) pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form
ready.
> b) try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405
Freeway.
> c) have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack,
thus
> ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit.
>
> When turning, you should always signal your intentions by:
> a) using your directional signals.
> b) what is a "directional signal"?
New California Drivers' Exam
>
> For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California,
> here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you
> who do, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions
> (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that
> the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special
> application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan
Area.
>