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Topic: Anyone With GF/BF In The Army?
Username: Miguelss
Posted 2005-10-27 01:26:41 and read 2054 times.

Ok, sometimes it is necessary to do sacrifices for the person you love.

Personally, my boyfriend is in the army (yes, he's gay), of course I'm not in the military.

The thread is to know how could this kind of relationship be stable, and how could it last just because they are under a regime that don't allow to be always at home, or what problems arise because of this.

How have been (if any) the experiences.

Topic: RE: Anyone With GF/BF In The Army?
Username: ANCFlyer
Posted 2005-10-27 01:41:02 and read 2039 times.

First off all, let me side step the Gay issue for a moment . . . since it shouldn't matter IMHO.

As for military relationships - been there and done that. My first wife and I were both in the US Army. Fortunately for us, our assignments in Germany were fairly close together and the one time one of us was transferred, the other got ordered to the same installation. Unfortunately for us, she passed away in 1987, so we never really got to experience more than 4 years of being a "military couple". We never had any children so that never complicated the issue.

My second wife was never in the military and had little exposure to it. She couldn't identify a Private from a General. There were times she simply couldn't understand why I couldn't be "off duty" for a specific thing whether that was a Thanksgiving feast or a Christmas Holiday. After a fashion she got accustomed to it. I'm not sure she ever liked it and I'm sure she'd never marry anyone in the military again. We did have a daughter - an awesome daughter if I may so say - but that didn't complicate the military factors.

The worst was long deployments, obviously. Both partners must be strong and self sufficient. Trust is an absolute necessity. Both partners have to be able to handle long separations if they arise, and handle days when the best thing for the relationship should be being together, but the duties of the military prevent that.

As for being gay, that will of course present certain other obstacles . . . none of which I can provide insight for first hand.

I do wish you great luck . . . .

Topic: RE: Anyone With GF/BF In The Army?
Username: Miguelss
Posted 2005-10-27 01:53:19 and read 2031 times.

ANCFlyer, did your relation survive long deployments, was she consciuos?, are you together?

Topic: RE: Anyone With GF/BF In The Army?
Username: AGM114L
Posted 2005-10-27 02:11:03 and read 2025 times.

It takes a special kind of woman (or dude) to be a military spouse. Its called "married to the military". They have follow their spouse around all over the place and can not always establish a circle of friends or a carreer, it can be very stressful for them. Most units have a family support network where wives (never seen a military husband at one) meet.
Personally my carreer in the military has caused me to end two engagements, first when I joined the Army, (she didn't want to be part of the lifestyle and thought it was selfish of me to join in the first place, can't say that I blame her) and the second ended when I was on a 18 month deployment, I guess it was too much for her.
Is your significant other in the Columbian or US Army?

Topic: RE: Anyone With GF/BF In The Army?
Username: ANCFlyer
Posted 2005-10-27 02:14:04 and read 2021 times.

Quoting Miguelss (Reply 2):
did your relation survive long deployments

Yes, survived Desert Storm, the only really long deployment she had to endure while we were married . . . I had other, shorter times away from home, but nothing like Desert Storm.

Quoting Miguelss (Reply 2):
are you together?

No we aren't together, but it wasn't the military that drove the wedge between us . . . we are, however, still very good friends, and parents to a wonderful daughter. Her new husband (and my daughter's step-Father) is a friend of mine as well . . . so, perhaps my relationship there is an anomaly. Regardless, it worked out well.

Topic: RE: Anyone With GF/BF In The Army?
Username: Miguelss
Posted 2005-10-27 02:24:27 and read 2014 times.

AGM114L, He's in the Colombian army, I just try to figure how hard the way will be from now on for both.

Topic: RE: Anyone With GF/BF In The Army?
Username: AGM114L
Posted 2005-10-27 02:33:12 and read 2001 times.

Quoting Miguelss (Reply 5):
He's in the Colombian army, I just try to figure how hard the way will be from now on for both

Well, I don't know much about the Columbian Army. I know its not the safest of places down there but I can't imagine they are moved around or deployed as much as the troops in the US Army. If you're concerned about anything just ask him. Why do you think it will be hard in the first place?

Topic: RE: Anyone With GF/BF In The Army?
Username: Miguelss
Posted 2005-10-27 02:36:59 and read 1998 times.

If a straight relation is hard, just try to figure a gay one with the obvious obstacles from society.

And yes, we have a sort of conflict which accentuates the fears for something to happen.

Topic: RE: Anyone With GF/BF In The Army?
Username: Jetjack74
Posted 2005-10-27 02:49:48 and read 1991 times.

When I first went into the Navy, I was stationed at Andersen AFB in Guam, We were the only Navy unit on base, so we were towing the Air Force lifestyle, which was different from what I learned in Navy Boot Camp. I was dating a girl in the Air Force. We both came to the base at the same time. She was from San Diego, and had never been out of the US. She worked at the Air Terminal, on the T-line, which was right next to our hanger, where we parked our C-130's, so we saw eachother during the day when I was flying in or out. Luckily, my squadron was shore-based and only had regional DET's in the rim, so I wasn't gone for too much. We really hit it off and had a great time. At the end of my enlistment, I wanted to go reserve and attend university, and she wanted to go home and get out of the AF. I tried to convince her to move to Philadelphia with me, but she wanted to be close to her family, so we broke it off. Later when I was living in San Diego, I was a reservist at NAS North Island, I was dating an girl who was an officer at NAS Miramar, which is barred because it's fraternisation, which could've gotten both of us into a lot of trouble had we been found out. We dated for a long time and really loved eachother very much. We hit a brick wall when she said she wanted to resign her commision so we could get married. That threw a lot of pressure on me and created a barrier, because I didn't want to be the cause of her throwing away her career for me. It was too much for me. The sneaking around, the lying. She made up stories to her friends who were "wondering why she wasn't dating". It got too complicated, so I decided I wouldn't within the ranks again.

Topic: RE: Anyone With GF/BF In The Army?
Username: CaptOveur
Posted 2005-10-27 06:08:42 and read 1969 times.

Quoting Miguelss (Thread starter):
Personally, my boyfriend is in the army (yes, he's gay), of course I'm not in the military.

You sure you wanted to say that?

Topic: RE: Anyone With GF/BF In The Army?
Username: Miguelss
Posted 2005-10-27 17:12:15 and read 1951 times.

CaptOveur: Yes, I wanted to say that.


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