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Favourite Limericks

Lutenist From Canada, joined May 2005, 280 posts, RR: 0
Posted (7 years 6 months 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 871 times:

There once was a sailor named Bates
Who danced the fandango on skates
Till a fall on his cutlass
Rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates

Any others out there?

9 replies: All unread, jump to last

Nordair From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (7 years 6 months 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 863 times:

There once was a woman named Mabel
Who used to spread out on the table
And cry to her man
Stuff ALL that you can.
And get your damn balls in if you're able.

WrenchBender From Canada, joined Feb 2004, 1779 posts, RR: 9
Reply 2, posted (7 years 6 months 6 days ago) and read 849 times:

Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

There once was a fella named Dave
Who found a dead whore in a cave
It took him some pluck
To have a cold f*%$
But think of the money he saved

Silly Pilot, Tricks are for kids.......

Ilikeyyc From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 1373 posts, RR: 22
Reply 3, posted (7 years 6 months 5 days 23 hours ago) and read 843 times:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
If my ear was a cunt, I'd f*** it!

Fighting Absurdity with Absurdity!

WrenchBender From Canada, joined Feb 2004, 1779 posts, RR: 9
Reply 4, posted (7 years 6 months 5 days 23 hours ago) and read 838 times:

Ther once was a copper from Clapham Junction
Whose member it just wouldn't function
To save himself strife
He diddled his young wife
With some snot on the end of his truncheon

Silly Pilot, Tricks are for kids.......

Cadet985 From United States of America, joined Mar 2002, 1408 posts, RR: 5
Reply 5, posted (7 years 6 months 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 835 times:

Quoting Ilikeyyc (Reply 3):
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
If my ear was a cunt, I'd f*** it!

I was going to post the same one bigthumbsup

Mrmeangenes From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 566 posts, RR: 0
Reply 6, posted (7 years 6 months 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 829 times:

A near-sighted lady named Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus:
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And the rest of Alice in Dallas.

Then we get a bit more "collegiate":

The sexual life of the camel
Is not what everyone thinks:
In a moment of amorous passion
He tried to make out with the Sphynx;

But the Sphynx's posterior passages
Are blocked by the sands of the Nile-
Whuch accounts for the hump on the camel-
And the Sphynx's inscrutable smile.

gene

Matt27 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (7 years 6 months 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 824 times:

Quoting Mrmeangenes (Reply 6):
A near-sighted lady named Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus:
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And the rest of Alice in Dallas.

Tom in NO From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 7194 posts, RR: 40
Reply 8, posted (7 years 6 months 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 821 times:

There was a young man named McNair
Who was screwing his wife on the stair
On the thirty-fourth stroke
The bannister broke
So he finished her off in the air

Tom at MSY

"The criminal ineptitude makes you furious"-Bruce Springsteen, after seeing firsthand the damage from Hurricane Katrina

MHTMDW From United States of America, joined Jul 2004, 139 posts, RR: 0
Reply 9, posted (7 years 6 months 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 809 times:

There once was a many from Peru
Who fell asleep in a canoe
He dreamt he was on Venus
And played with his penis
And woke up with a handful of goo

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