UAL747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Posted (8 years 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 4265 times:
My family has decided to have a Gay Free holiday this year after recently coming out to them (sort of). I just returned from my Christmas vacation that started yesterday. My family teamed up and told me exactly what they think of me and my so-called "lifestyle." Well, my mom and sister didn't, but the rest of the family did.
They told me I was going down a "dead-end" road and that everyone they knew that was gay has died of AIDS. That I was sure to get it, and what I was doing just wasn't "natural." She said that I had lied to her about my being gay. Which admittedly, I did. Then she claimed to know all about being gay because they just finished up a series of sermons at her church about how people can overcome being gay by the grace of God. And that to live in the lifestyle was sinful.
It was hard not to raise my voice when I was talking to them. And I did raise my voice.
My grandmother expressed that she was "shocked" by my life choice. She said she was ashamed because "You have so much talent and things going for you, then you decide to be like this. To ME, you aren't Philip anymore."
So I packed up my bags and returned home.
This will be my first Christmas alone, and feeling a little depressed.
Anyone else gone through this family/gay Christmas thing?
Superfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 39456 posts, RR: 76 Reply 1, posted (8 years 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 4252 times:
Sorry to hear about this dilema with your family.
No need to worry. I am sure there are plenty of gay members here that would love to take you in for Christmas and bend over
backwards for you this Christmas.
SWA TPA From United States of America, joined Aug 2001, 1559 posts, RR: 36 Reply 4, posted (8 years 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 4230 times:
I am so sorry to hear about the way your family treated you! That was truly a horrible thing to do to a person! I cant imagine what you must have been feeling at that moment.
Well, you know that the majority of us are here for you if you need to cyber talk. Take care Phil and hopefully the rest of your family will come around and realize you are the same person they have always known. How long has it been since grandma found out?
Superfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 39456 posts, RR: 76 Reply 6, posted (8 years 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 4215 times:
Sorry if I came off taking this lightly but I do know that this sort of stuff happens.
They're going to realize what a big mistake they are making and I sure Christmas without you there would be a bit incomplete.
Eventually they'll come around and you can spend the holidays with them and your lover can be there with you.
Jamesbuk From United Kingdom, joined May 2005, 3968 posts, RR: 5 Reply 8, posted (8 years 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 4195 times:
if your family says that about you then your alot better than them.. donts it around on here all day get out their get a Boyfriend and make a real success of yourself and show that sexuality really has nothing to do with what path you'll take in your life
sorry to hear bout it but youve just gotta rise above them
p.s good luck with the future
You cant have your cake and eat it... What the hells the point in having it then!!!
STLGph From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 9169 posts, RR: 26 Reply 9, posted (8 years 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 4190 times:
Quoting DLKAPA (Reply 7): And they'll probably just say "oh some parts of the bible are old and outdated." Seriously though once you send them that passage from the bible you will have effectively nailed them to a wall.
If they wanna talk new testament only...
1 Corinthians 6:9-10,
Very convenient if any of them have friends (or they themselves) that have been divorced or remarried.
Eternal darkness we all should dread. It's hard to party when you're dead.
Maury From United States of America, joined May 2005, 532 posts, RR: 2 Reply 10, posted (8 years 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 4185 times:
Wow. There's yer love and charity on full display eh? Tolerance too. Nice folks.
My (dyke) roommate and I stopped trying to recreate Norman Rockwell paintings a while back, and now have dinner at whatever nice restaurant is open on the 25th with whatever friends are in like situations. It's usually a lot nicer to be around people who choose to be with you, than not. C'mon down to San Jose!
UAL747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 11, posted (8 years 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 4177 times:
You know, I guess I just don't get it. I mean, who cares if I'm gay or not? I mean, what, does that make me a Klingon? It's so weird what things happen when you mention yourself and gay in the same sentence. Crazy.
Oh, yeah, I forgot, they still can't say the word "gay" without whispering. They did that several times today. "Why didn't you tell us you were ))))gay((((*
ANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 13, posted (8 years 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 4167 times:
C'Mon up to Prudhoe Bay . . . I'll be working . . . but you can watch. I don't give a hoot in hell if you're Gay or not! I'll still break bread with ya, and we can talk shit about narrow minded people. Might not be family, but I'm pretty danged friendly!
TheCoz From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 14, posted (8 years 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 4153 times:
Well, I'm sure Jesus would approve of your familiy's actions.
Quoting UAL747 (Thread starter): Then she claimed to know all about being gay because they just finished up a series of sermons at her church about how people can overcome being gay by the grace of God.
LMAO, yes, an hour long sermon by a heterosexual will tell you EVERYTHING you need to know about the evil gay people.
ScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 57 Reply 15, posted (8 years 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 4152 times:
What a bunch of crap. UAL747, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. How awful. How can they reject you for being you? I mean, you've always been this person. It's not like all of a sudden you changed.
DL021 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 11443 posts, RR: 78 Reply 16, posted (8 years 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 4142 times:
Well, since you are feeling the effects of being exiled does this mean that you are cutting yourself off from them in all respects, including economic ties? If you are serious about everything you are writing but letting them pay for anything then you are kidding yourself. You can't moan about their standards for you if you are taking their assistance on anything. Otherwise it's just moaning.
As for Christmas......I'm certain that there are plenty of Anetters out there who would welcome you over for Christmas dinner. If you are in ATL you are welcome for Christmas dinner at our place.
SWA TPA From United States of America, joined Aug 2001, 1559 posts, RR: 36 Reply 17, posted (8 years 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 4131 times:
Going along with ANCflyer, you are more than welcome at my home in Tampa. It will just be me, hubby, munchkin and my parents, who by the way, would welcome you with open arms!
I dont know about ANCflyer but I can whip up some mean martinis too! Hee hee hee......
VC10 From United Kingdom, joined Nov 2001, 1396 posts, RR: 16 Reply 18, posted (8 years 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 4123 times:
Some years ago just after my divorce I was for the first time in 20 years left on my own [no children, no wife ] for Christmas. Being on my own was bad enough but everybody else seemed to be getting ready for the fun except me, which seemed to make it worst.
Then I told myself it was just another day off work and I relaxed , read books, played music and watched films on TV but kept away from all those Christmas programs, and do you know it was quite a good day.
Although I am not gay and probably like your parents do not quite understand it, I am sure that given time and space and without the fact being pushed in front of them all the time, they will come round, so perhaps you just have to wait a bit.
Anyway all the best for Sunday the 25th and happy reading and listening and remember it is only another day
Maury From United States of America, joined May 2005, 532 posts, RR: 2 Reply 22, posted (8 years 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 4089 times:
Scratch the San Jose offer, I'm heading to Tampa for martinis with SWA TPA.
And speaking of whispering: when my father remarried after my mother's death, I went to NC for the wedding. And brought/met up with a (male) date. My "new mommy" made a large point of sitting me down and telling me how tolerant she was and accepting and understanding -- never once saying the word "gay." OK...whatever.
After the ceremony, my "new sister" invited me and my date over to the house she shared with her (female) roommmate. Of about 20 years (insert foreshadowing music.) We all sit down in the living room. She makes us all move to the center of the room. (I am NOT making this up.) She *closes all the blinds in the room.* And then, furtively, whispers: "I just wanted you to know. We're...gay."
Well, no kidding. Poor Mike looks at me, all confused--he'd thought we were gonna break out the uh ceremonial peace pipe or something, and all it was, was this? So I asked her, "why all the secrecy? Your Mom just spent 15 minutes telling me she was the North Carolina branch of PFLAG..." "Oh my GOD no! Mother doesn't know...it would RUIN our reputation if people KNEW!"
So there you go. Families: given to you, not chosen!
Logan22L From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 24, posted (8 years 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 4076 times:
Quoting Superfly (Reply 19): Now what would I need to do get a special invite SWA TPA?
I'll bet it will involve you "bending over backwards."
Seriously, UAL747, never underestimate just how insensitive family can be. An old adage is that "you can pick your friends, but you cannot pick your relatives." VC10 is right: Christmas is, in many ways, just another day, and a day that is portrayed by the media as being warm, wonderful and nurturing. Truth is it's more like National Lampoon's "Christmas Vacation" for most people. Not to take away from other's enjoyment of it and its meaning to them, but look at what you have and who you are. Hang in there, and as for those family members who put you down: fuck 'em.