JetBlue-320 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 20854 times:
Well, I'm tall (5'11), brown hair, blue eyes, and I'm NOT ugly. I have a slight acne problem, though. I'm kinda quiet, but if you have the same interests as me (aviation), I'll talk my head off! Girls are just not interested in me. I'm getting VERY depressed, almost suicidal...
I have NEVER had a girl flirt with me my ENTIRE LIFE!!! None of them seem interested in me.
DeltaRNOmd-80 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 20729 times:
its a two way street bro, you gotta start convos with them too. Start by talking to girls that you will never see again in your entire life, that way if they ignore you you will not be embarassed when you see them in the halls at school. There is probably a girl that thinks that about you (why wont he flirt with me?) most girls think the guy should initiate the conversation. it really is easy, and some girls arent flirtatious, but just talk regularly with them.
I Like To Fly From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 1188 posts, RR: 2
Reply 4, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 20707 times:
JetBlue-320, there is no need to be suicidal because you can't get a girl. Calm down. Seriously, if you feel like that, get help! I am going to get worried if you suddenly stop posting now. You will find the right girl someday, it might not even be in highschool, there are many guys like that. For me I didn't have a serious relationship until the end of my 10th year. It takes longer with some guys, don't worry about it. You think there aren't girls that don't think like you? Do you know any girls as just friends? They can probably help get you hooked up if it is that important to you. Anyway, not having a girl isn't the end of the world, don't make it that. Lata man...
Hepkat From Austria, joined Aug 2000, 2341 posts, RR: 2
Reply 6, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 20690 times:
JetBlue-320, I understand how you feel, I used to feel that way in high school too. Let me tell you a true story.
For the most part of my high school life, I thought girls were not, or never interested in me. I moped around the hallways (even though I was suprisingly popular), always feeling unattractive, probably the way you feel now.
Well, then came my senior year, and I wanted to go to the prom. The problem was, with whom? To my surprise, a girl friend of mine called me one night, and confessed from A to Z that she had always liked me, especially my eyes, and was wondering if I would go to the prom with her. I was shocked and flattered. Of course I said yes. Then, believe it or not, four other girls called, saying the same thing. When I spoke to one of them about it, this was what I learned.
Girls are very different from guys. Guys tend to focus a lot on looks (ass, tits, the whole package), while girls tend to focus on your inner strengths, the things you don't normally see. So there I was, preoccupied with my looks, when all along, there were girls liking me for who I was as a person on the inside.
Chances are, there's some girl that really likes your personality and maybe your sense of humor (this is a very high number on their list!). The girls I talked to told me all those macho good looking guys they went out with was just for showing off. Those guys knew nothing about feelings, they had NOTHING on the inside.
Here's where you step in. Armed with this extra knowledge, you should now know how to approach a girl. If you want to know how to be popular with the girls, speak to another girl. They'll most likely tell you you need understanding, a sense of humor, and you must be easy to talk to.
Master these things and you'll be fighting the girls off your doorsteps.
SophieMaltese From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2064 posts, RR: 3
Reply 7, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 20691 times:
I know it sucks, but just try not to worry too much about it. Easier said than done, but just try to have fun and enjoy life. It's interesting to see that guys have all of these problems with girls because us girls have just as many. Don't feel bad about it. I don't do too well myself in the relationship category.
DC10Tony From United States of America, joined May 2001, 1012 posts, RR: 0
Reply 8, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 20681 times:
Don't let those troubles be the epicenter of your life man. Hepkat hit the nail on the head. The only girls who really care about looks are usually the ones who are either stuck-up or too stupid to like someone for their personality. Have fun with your friends, live it up, and when that girl comes along you'll know it, just be yourself and go from there man.
DeltaOwnsAll From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 1173 posts, RR: 1
Reply 9, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 20663 times:
JetBlue- I have found that the main thing (unless you are REALLY ugly or wierd...which you probably aren't) is to be yourself. I mean, most of the guys in my class go out of their way to make asses of themselves...being faky with the girls and everything. That sort of thing tends to piss me off...I just be myself. I just found out that a few pretty hot girls like me because I am myself...and "cute". Strike up convos with them...don't seem overly interested or anything though. Having girls that are just friends helps too...because they can ask the girls that you like questions that they wouldn't truthfully answer if you asked. By the way...almost every boy I know thats my age has a slight acne problem...no big deal. Anyways...good luck bro...just be yourself and itll be cool.
Virginlover From United States of America, joined Mar 2000, 958 posts, RR: 13
Reply 10, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 20669 times:
Trust me, you won't want us. Do you really wanna worry about a girlfriend with PMS and remembering your 7 1/2 week anniversary, and all the stress of "what should I do? How should I act?" And then the break up, trust me, I've made a few guys think about the whole dating situation. You're really not missing anything. Don't worry... I used to think the same thing about myself (Please, no stupid ass comments about me to my enemies), but after one summer, the school year started and things were a whole new ball game. But besides the fact that I looked totally different, I gained confidence- started talking to guys, started some subtle flirting, trust me it works. Don't worry, PLEASE don't kill yourself, and feel free to E-mail me.
King767 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 20634 times:
Don't worry about it man! There are plenty out there. One thing I have learned in life is that sometimes you have to travel far from home to find who you really love, something I learned 3,500some odd miles away from home.
Kcle From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 686 posts, RR: 0
Reply 14, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 17 hours ago) and read 20622 times:
"Hehehehehehe, don't a worry bout it mon," as Ms. Cleo would say. In my classes in high school, there is not one girl that likes me, is even friends with me, or do I even talk to any of the girls in my classes, and frankly, none of the girls have nice personalities, nor do they look good. For a few days, I was friends with these two girls in my one class, but somehow, I said something in the wrong tone, and now they both hate me, and anytime I try to apoligize, they say, "F*** YOU!" So, if i ain't even friends with any girls, it's gonna be awhile till I find one I like, hmmm maybe next term, when our class schedule changes...
Last month, i had said I went to a guidance councelor about a problem not makin any friends, and just the other day, I had a follow-up with her. She was very happy that I had managed to make three new friends. She got concerned though, when I told her they were all male friends. I told her that I really can't make friends with girls, and she said it will take awhile. Plus, everyone was talkin about homecoming, and they ask me why I didn't get a date for it, so I had to give them a fast explanation, and they say, "Wow, you are one socially deprived person."
My biology partner has this tangent that I will only get a girlfriend if I 1. Get contacts and throw out my glasses, 2. I bulk myself up for my height, which is 6' 3", or about 2 meters for our metric friends out there. I keep saying to him, that it won't work. The only girls that like that kind of guy are the easy kind, which is most of the girls in my classes.
I think I probably won't get a date for another couple years, and I know there is no way to change that. But, I do think of this: I would like to pursue a career with a major airline as a pilot, and I most likely will go through the Air National Guard, so that way they train me how to fly, and they pay for college, and my superior officer is not going to ask me; "How many dates have you been on?" The same goes when I apply at an airline. the interviewer ain't going to ask; "How many girls did you make out with in high school?'' So, since it ain't an important part of my professional life, why bother worrying about it?
Bryan Becker From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 333 posts, RR: 0
Reply 15, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 17 hours ago) and read 20620 times:
ya I agree with you Kcle all the way,and if they did ask
"How many girls have you gone out with?"Well it would suck for me and you and lots of other people out there.Then all of a sudden"drop down and give me 20 for every girl you've been friends with and did not go out with!"Then you would have to whip out the handy dandy hands and start to count-12345678...........Dam some one better get me a sleeping bag cause I'm gonna be sleeping in the push up position tonight.cheers.....
YKA From Netherlands, joined Sep 2001, 766 posts, RR: 0
Reply 16, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 17 hours ago) and read 20615 times:
Hmmm sounds like your need to reproduce has come into play in your life. Here's a simple trick to suppres it until you can get a g/f.....whack off(masurbate)....works like a charm. Sorry to be crude, but its true.
Kcle From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 686 posts, RR: 0
Reply 17, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 17 hours ago) and read 20613 times:
Hehehehe, I will not say if i do or not, as that is a totally different subject, but I'm sure most guys in my classes do that. I've heard this one kid say that he went into the locker rooms after football practice, and caught his fellow teammate doing that same thing. I went to grade school with that kid for a few years, and he still acts, looks, and talks the same as he did in third grade, so he probably hasn't had any g/f's either.
EIPremier From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 1550 posts, RR: 1
Reply 19, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 20590 times:
Even in this day and age, guys generally have to initiate the relationship. All too many guys just don't realize that they can't just sit there with their mouth shut and be attractive to women.
It seems that guys often think that girls will go for them just because they are good-looking, athletic, stylish or any combination of the above. But, of course, personality is what counts most. IMHO, the majority of women want to see that a guy possesses a "comfortably masculine demeanor" (ie...not too aggressive, not too timid...a comforting personality). Although physical and mental attributes are important, it takes a winning personality to put everything in context.
Why do guys mis-read women so much?
This is likely be a point of some contention, but I feel it is because men don't realize that women aren't attracted to the same things in men that men are in women. I feel that men are more easily infatuated by "female physical attributes" than women are by male physique. Many women place far more weight on personality than men do.
Anyway, the reason I brought this up, Jet-Blue, is because you started off with a list of your physical attributes and then asked why nobody is paying attention to you. That is the wrong question to ask. You have to at least start talking to them before you can ask questions about what you are doing wrong!
More important than your choice of conversation topic is your choice of body language. It is important to communicate to a woman that you are comfortable with yourself (and of course, that you have a genuine interest in the conversation). The converation topic, in contrast, really isn't that important. If you find an intellectual type, feel free to try and exercise that path, but otherwise, just try to make them laugh. At least then, you have a fairly clear sign that you are getting through, as most people show great difficulty in hiding their amusement.
Chris28_17 From United States of America, joined Jul 2000, 1439 posts, RR: 9
Reply 20, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 20588 times:
(i didnt read previous posts, sorry if i seem to copy anyone)
ever wonder why you often see really hot girls with doofy looking guys?? how the heck did that dork ever get that chick to go out with him?
simple answer, They asked!!!! act (and in time, become) confident yet "sweet" with some girls, talk to them, smile, make eye contact, and ask em to go do something simple with you, go to a coffee shop, anything.... once you suck it up and go for broke, you'll regret not doing it sooner..
Turbolet From Cape Verde, joined Nov 2007, 0 posts, RR: 1
Reply 22, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 20553 times:
Same problem here. I'm 15 - let's start with personality first - well, I can be nice, I enjoy a joke, I flatter girls I like etc. Now the looks, I'm 179cm which is around 5ft10 1/2in, light brown hair, dark brown eyes, small nose. I weigh 70.5kg, my body mass index is around 22. I'm no muscle man but I go to the gym so that's bound to change. I have acne, too, but that's not TOO serious and IMHO my only real problem are glasses but I take them off when talking to girls (I tried contacts, didn't work for me). Now, my trouble is that I usually go for the girls who look hot but those usually think a lot of themselves. So at the moment I am in love with a girl who has a boyfriend and only takes me as a friend. Before she found her b/f, I asked her out but she refused. The only time in my life I kissed a girl (nothing more really) was three and a half years ago.
Recently I met a girl on the net. We chatted and then we met in person. She's really nice but sadly not too good looking. After that, she told me on the net she liked me a lot because I'm "extremely good looking and extremely nice". Well, she asked me to be her b/f, but I only want to stay friends with her because I don't like her physically and still, I'm in love with someone else. But this raised my self esteem.
Anyway, I'm happy to hear I'm not the only teen without a g/f, I probably don't look as bad as I think I do and it seems I have personality, too. So, I'll get highlights for my hair and sooner or later I'll try contacts again and keep going to the gym and I'll probably find a girl where the liking will be reciprocal (or so I hope!).
Anyway, my problem is I'm shy with strangers, but once I get to know ppl, you can't stop me talking. So I have to overcome that.
Cheer up, JetBlue: many ppl have your problem, including me. But that can't last forever. Develop your good qualities and wait.
Lehpron From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 7028 posts, RR: 20
Reply 23, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 20551 times:
"Many women place far more weight on personality than men do"
If this is true, how come ladies go shopping so much, as if they obcess (sp?) over how they look and thus choose guys based on the way they rate themselves? Besides, how do you get to know someone from 50 feet away without looking at the physical features first?
Look, I've been there quite recently and probably still. I'm 22 and all through grade school and my fr/sph years in college, I was pretty much cloacked to females. I'll bet I'm worse off than you are, I don't want a girlfriend yet, I've heard the stories and I'm not ready...
I had a girl friend who wouldn't really be my friend. She was a lesbian, I didn't care but she might have. I made nine attempts at life during the year I knew her because I had a crush on her and kept it quiet because I knew it wouldn't work. Sadly I rebounded on newer friend of mine; by the time I cooled off she found out and pretty much assumed I had a thing for her. I tried to fix it but she dragged another friend in and I lost them both, I was so depressed I had to see a therapist.
You see, Jetblue-320, the friends that I've had in school were the shy type and my family wasn't interested in me either, I still feel like I'm 13. I'm 5' 9", 115 lbs., blk hair, brn eyes, look latino but I'm hindu, thick lips and eyebrows, got buck teeth in which they're all asymetric, and I've got some acne. None of my friends talk to me anymore and I can't get into the college of my choice because I'm not smart enough -- I HAVE EVERY REASON TO KILL MYSELF RIGHT NOW, but I'm still here.
My therapist asked me what keeps me going; it's my drawings of airplanes. They are the only thing that have not lied, cheated or insulted me (yet), so I have some faith. I've given up on girls as anything but a myth, I'm going to live my life cuz I don't care anymore.
My advice to you is: Please try to think of something else, something that you're proud of and feel good about. If you show this confidence in the face of a serious depression, someone of the opposite sex will notice and you will be admired.
I really want you to try this, you're young so it might happen sooner than you think. Tell us what happens, okay kiddo?
Best of Luck,
The meaning of life is curiosity; we were put on this planet to explore opportunities.
VapourTrails From Australia, joined Aug 2001, 2504 posts, RR: 2
Reply 24, posted (14 years 8 months 1 week 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 20543 times:
Yes, please tell us what happens JetBlue-320. Look girls probably are interested in you, you just haven't noticed. Sometimes we can be subtle too for various reasons. My 2c: The chemistry is either there or it isn't, and if it isn't, then you've still got friendship, and there is nothing wrong with that! Be patient and enjoy your life, you'll look back on this and think ... what was all the worry for (I hope!!).
Turbolet: What is wrong with wearing glasses?? If they are the right type for your face, they are very attractive. It's a total 'package' inside and out.
Hope this helps!!
: My advice for you - try overcoming your shyness, anxiety, etc by yourself and without any drugs or doctors. If I could do it - anyone can. Also, never
: Bloody hell maybe you should get off the computer! Over here in England girls are easy, i'm 14 and i've had girlfriends just come here.
: One other way to think of it. You're going to be really happy (I mean, extremely) when you find that girl who really likes you. But, high school relat
: Don't worry man, I was just like you until 1 month ago. The I started being outgoing towards girls.
: By the way I have been out with a whopping 2 people in 4 years.
: VapourTrails: I just don't like myself in glasses. It might be something I'm just imagining, but when I don't wear glasses, I think that I have a more
: Took me 4 years to find a girl that might actually like me back...stick it out! you still have your friends...go bowling, go to the airport, just HAVE
: Whatever you do, don't get suicidal. Trust me. I went through that phase once, and if you fail to do it, then you feel even more crappy, so get out of
: Acne doesn't do jack shit for how popular you are or not, unless you have super extreme cases where your whole face is red because of it, and they don
: To add to what everyone has said so far: In high school, I didn't have any girlfriends. In retrospect, I could have very easily if I had wanted. But
: Some of you say how you are ready to kill yourself or would want to do it, but how many of you have actually tried to do it? Before you are in a situa
: Hey, I used to have all the same problems, eventually they will come. Now I am a junior in high school and I cannot ge the girls off me. Almost annyoi
: Killing yourself by cutting your wrists? A very tedious way... Here, we have cliffs which are quite high. If I wanted to kill myself, I'd probably jum
: Think of all the money you will save ! Remember if you approach them first then you will have all the choice,after all they might be a dud. Anyway the
: Dude I have the answer.... Join football!!! It worked for me!
: Simple solution, ditch the Star Trek uniform!
: JetBlue-320 is no longer a member of Airliners.net??
: Okay, here is a perspective from somebody who is now 45 yrs of age, married, with 10 yr old twins: 1. Make the most of whatever physical attributes yo
: Dude, next time you are in my area, look me up. I can get you laid.
: JetService, no wonder you're on my respected user list Turbolet: Joona, what has happened to you? You used to joke before, now all of your posts sound
: Hey man i used to be the same way. Then ine day outa the blue it all changed. It will happen dont worry. Just gotta give them girls time they'll come
: I didn't think that there were any girls that were interested in me either... Until one asked me out And then after we broke up, I didn't know what ru
: It's very simple. Get rich, or look rich, women will flock to you. The only thing that matters to most women is how much money they think you have.
: I'm 0 for 3 and I've pretty much given up on the whole dating thing. I've also helped out on some pretty messy breakups to know that I really don't wa
: I've read over the responses, and I must say: I don't like what I'm hearing. This is high school. Say it with me now: "Hiiiiiighhhh Schooooool." Very
: I think it must be because you are gay. Girls see these things you know.
: Western727: And I certainly wouldn't wax suicidal over it! Have you actually felt it yourself? After reading your post, I think you have not. Then you
: Have you actually felt it yourself? After reading your post, I think you have not. Then you have no idea of what it's like. You have no idea of it at
: Western727, in that case I apologize for my overreaction. Btw. I have learned it the hard way too and I agree, continuing with your life is the only a