Sponsor Message:
Non Aviation Forum
My Starred Topics | Profile | New Topic | Forum Index | Help | Search 
Is Promptness That Important In Relationships?  
User currently offlineWobbles From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 149 posts, RR: 0
Posted (8 years 3 months 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 2878 times:

I am just wondering if I goofed up here. Just started hanging out with this girl, and there has been some romance for sure, almost immediately, but that 's another story. I have not had a good life when it comes to being treated with respect by others, particulary women. I believe in (not just someone you date, but anyone) doing something if you say you are going to do it and if you will be at a place or call at a specified time, then you do it. If you cannot be there or you are running late, you at least call the person within a reasonable amount of time from the original time so they are not left hanging. I only met the person last week. She said she was going to call me at 9p last night, to possibly hang out later. Well, she did not call until 1145p. I tried 2 times after 9p, but did not get a hold of her. She tripped out on me when I told her that I cannot put up with people who don't call when they say they are going to at a specific time or at least around that specific time or those that run late and do not even try to call to let the person know, especially since almost everyone has cell phones or voicemail on a land line. She accused me of sabatoging relationships since I get very parinoid when people stand me up. I trip up (not as bad though) when same sex friends do that (are not prompt or careless on appointments). Did I react in a way that was not understandable or justified? I proably won't see this girl again. I am more hurt about the way that it happened as opposed to most likely losing the girl, since she may not even have been girlfriend material anyway.

11 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineClassicLover From Ireland, joined Mar 2004, 4599 posts, RR: 24
Reply 1, posted (8 years 3 months 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 2869 times:

Lack of promptness with friends / people you're seeing shows a lack of respect. I'm a punctual person and nothing pisses me off more than having to wait for people. Anything over 15 minutes without a call is inexcusable. Worse is that I used to have friends who thought that 7pm meant 8pm or 8:30pm. Notoriously late! It's also not that funny when the lateness is blamed on, "We got randy and had sex, sorry!" ... *rolls eyes*

It's one of my pet peeves. That said, I now have friends who respect me, rather than ones that don't.

Trent.



I do quite enjoy a spot of flying - more so when it's not in Economy!
User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 48
Reply 2, posted (8 years 3 months 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 2865 times:

I agree with ClassicLover. It's like a big "F*ck you" to the person who's waiting on them.

Some of the people I hang out with have this problem. It's one of the criteria I use to distinguish between my drinking buddies and my friends.



"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineAmhilde From United States of America, joined Oct 2003, 643 posts, RR: 5
Reply 3, posted (8 years 3 months 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 2846 times:

Hang on, she said she was calling to "possibly" hang out? Does that include "possibly" making a phone call? Maybe she changed her mind and didnt want to hang out last night, maybe someone else called or she was cooking something, hell maybe she was tired. It sounds to me like it wasnt a done deal about her calling and hanging out. Also, you JUST started seeing her, at least one transgression of the calling rule is allowed, though by the second time you can write the person off. Then you started to look all desperate by calling her- that was a bad idea, along with yelling about the promptness thing.

Now I too demand and give respect in terms of the phone call/meeting time thing, so I can understand where you are coming from here. However, if you ever expect to get anywhere with a girl, you need to be a bit less "available" and keep your cool. There is nothing worse than a guy who gets all cling too fast. Slow and steady wins the race  Smile



Hang on tightly, Let go lightly
User currently offlineSunshine79 From UK - England, joined Jan 2006, 1759 posts, RR: 31
Reply 4, posted (8 years 3 months 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 2844 times:

I agree with ClassicLover and LHMark.Time keeping is one of my biggest gripes. If she cared for you or was interested, she would have at least gotten in touch to say she won't be able to talk until later. To be honest, I think you would be best out of it and find someone else who would care for you.


Formerly alcregular, Why drive when you can fly?
User currently offlineLOT767-300ER From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (8 years 3 months 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 2841 times:

Quoting Amhilde (Reply 3):
Hang on, she said she was calling to "possibly" hang out? Does that include "possibly" making a phone call? Maybe she changed her mind and didnt want to hang out last night, maybe someone else called or she was cooking something, hell maybe she was tired. It sounds to me like it wasnt a done deal about her calling and hanging out. Also, you JUST started seeing her, at least one transgression of the calling rule is allowed, though by the second time you can write the person off. Then you started to look all desperate by calling her- that was a bad idea, along with yelling about the promptness thing.

I think it was reasonable....who cares if he just met or whatever. Promptness is courteous. Just like SHOWING UP TO WORK ON TIME. My BS flag flies on the cooking or doing something else for 2hrs45mins. I know women better than that. Same goes with guy friends, I dont like waiting for them either..what the hell is wrong with people these days.

In addition, I am the same Wobbles is...I cant take people who are late AND do not call and say something is up.


User currently offlineAmhilde From United States of America, joined Oct 2003, 643 posts, RR: 5
Reply 6, posted (8 years 3 months 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 2837 times:

And how many of you guys have pussed out and told a girl you dont care to see anymore those words to her face? I love it when a guy cant personally pick up the phone and be a man about saying those words.


Hang on tightly, Let go lightly
User currently offlineWobbles From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 149 posts, RR: 0
Reply 7, posted (8 years 3 months 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 2835 times:

Amhilde, thanx for the response, she definitely said she was going to call at 9p. When I was being up front by teling her that I don't handle people not being reasonably prompt, that was meant as a warning to her. I told her if she did that again, then I would walk. Maybe she is trying to beat me to it.

User currently offlineWobbles From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 149 posts, RR: 0
Reply 8, posted (8 years 3 months 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 2829 times:

A lot of women seem to think that a guy is being possesive and jealous by asking for that. Who agrees with them about that? I think in a relationship (or even a job) if you say that a lack of promptness or consideration (to at least acknowledge if shit is happening and plans may change) is unacceptable, that way you can take care of it right away, so later on, when he/she goofs up by not calling or showing up (very occasionally, though) you don't assume he/she is up to no good.

User currently offlineBrokenrecord From United States of America, joined Jul 2005, 772 posts, RR: 0
Reply 9, posted (8 years 3 months 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 2822 times:

Quoting ClassicLover (Reply 1):
Lack of promptness with friends / people you're seeing shows a lack of respect. I'm a punctual person and nothing pisses me off more than having to wait for people. Anything over 15 minutes without a call is inexcusable. Worse is that I used to have friends who thought that 7pm meant 8pm or 8:30pm. Notoriously late! It's also not that funny when the lateness is blamed on, "We got randy and had sex, sorry!" ... *rolls eyes*

It's one of my pet peeves. That said, I now have friends who respect me, rather than ones that don't.

Well said. I only really have 1 friend right now who does not follow through. Because of that, I never count on him.


User currently offlineAerobalance From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 4674 posts, RR: 48
Reply 10, posted (8 years 3 months 5 days 19 hours ago) and read 2819 times:

Quoting LOT767-300ER (Reply 5):
I think it was reasonable....who cares if he just met or whatever. Promptness is courteous.

Word. Let us know if she does become more reliable



"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
User currently offlineLOT767-300ER From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (8 years 3 months 5 days 19 hours ago) and read 2808 times:

Quoting Aerobalance (Reply 10):
Word. Let us know if she does become more reliable

Damn, I thought I made your RU list with that one  Silly


Top Of Page
Forum Index

This topic is archived and can not be replied to any more.

Printer friendly format

Similar topics:More similar topics...
Is It That Hard To Get Soldiers In Germany? posted Thu Nov 9 2006 00:30:53 by Oly720man
Is That A Banana In Your Pocket? posted Fri Jun 16 2006 19:51:12 by Iamcanadian
Bush Approval Rate. Is It Really That Important? posted Mon Oct 31 2005 20:11:25 by Aleksandar
How Much Is That Cronie In The Window? posted Fri Oct 14 2005 21:30:53 by TedTAce
What Is More Important In Iraq Than MS Or LA? posted Sat Sep 3 2005 03:16:13 by MD-90
What Is It That There Is More Of In This World.... posted Mon Mar 18 2002 12:51:18 by AMSMAN
Why Is It That Your Topics Are Printed In Bold? posted Sat Oct 13 2001 10:35:12 by Sin777er
So What Is There To Do In MCO Other Than Disney? posted Thu Aug 17 2006 22:38:19 by Lnglive1011yyz
Trust Overrated In Relationships?/Snooping posted Tue Jul 25 2006 17:21:22 by Tsaord
Is Vada Pav Available In Your City. posted Sun Jun 11 2006 12:01:16 by HAWK21M