Sponsor Message:
Non Aviation Forum
My Starred Topics | Profile | New Topic | Forum Index | Help | Search 
The Twelve Rules Of Flaming  
User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 47
Posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1324 times:

Found this on the PVP webcomic forum. Thank you, JCM, for your codification.


The Twelve Rules of Flaming

1. Make things up about your opponent: It's important to make your lies sound true. Preface your argument with the word "clearly." "Clearly, Fred Flooney is a liar, and a dirtball to boot."

2. Be an armchair psychologist: You're a smart person. You've heard of Freud. You took a psychology course in college. Clearly, you're qualified to psychoanalyze your opponent. "Polly Purebread, by using the word 'zucchini' in her posting, shows she has a bad case of penis envy."

3. Cross-post your flames: Everyone on the net is just waiting for the next literary masterpiece to leave your terminal! From the Apple II RoundTable to X-10 Powerhouse RoundTable, they're all holding their breath until your next flame. Therefore, post everywhere.

4. Conspiracies abound: If everyone's against you, the reason can't *possibly* be that you're a sh??head. There's obviously a conspiracy against you, and you will be doing the entire net a favor by exposing it.

5. Lawsuit threats: This is the reverse of Rule #4 (sort of like the Yin & Yang of Flaming). Threatening a lawsuit is always considered to be in good form. "By saying that I've posted to the wrong group, Bertha has libeled me, slandered me, and sodomized me. See you in court, Bertha."

6. Force them to document their claims: Even if Harry Hoinkus states outright that he likes tomato sauce on his pasta, you should demand documentation. If Newsweek hasn't written an article on Harry's pasta preferences, then Harry's obviously lying.

7. Use foreign phrases: French is good, but Latin is the lingua franca of flaming. You should use the words "ad hominem" at least three times per article. Other favorite Latin phrases are "ad nauseum," "veni, vidi, vici," and "fettuccini alfredo."

8. Tell 'em how smart you are: Why use intelligent arguments to convince them you're smart when all you have to do is tell them? State that you're a member of Mensa, or Mega, or Dorks of America. Tell them the scores you received on every exam since high school. "I got an 800 on my SATs, LSATs, GREs, MCATs, and I can also spell the word 'premeiotic' ."

9. Accuse your opponent of censorship. It is your right as an American citizen to post whatever the hell you want to the net (as guaranteed by the 37th Amendment, I think). Anyone who tries to limit your cross-posting or move a flame war to email is either a communist, a fascist, or both.

10. Doubt their existence: You've never actually seen your opponent, have you? And since you're the center of the universe, you should have seen them by now, shouldn't you? Therefore, THEY DON'T EXIST! This is the beauty of flamers' logic.

11. Lie, cheat, steal, leave the toilet seat up.

12. When in doubt, insult: If you forget the other 11 rules, remember this one. At some point during your wonderful career as a Flamer you will undoubtedly end up in a flame war with someone who is better than you. This person will expose your lies, tear apart your arguments, make you look generally like a bozo. At this point, there's only one thing to do: INSULT THE DIRTBAG!!! "Oh yeah? Well, your mother does strange things with vegetables."

Honorable Mention:
13. When all else fails, call into question someones grammer or spelling.


"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
16 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineLogan22L From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1317 times:

On A.net, you should have entitled this "The Other Twelve Rules of Flaming."  Wink

User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 47
Reply 2, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1312 times:

Can we refer to our...more fabulous...members as flamewarriors?


"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineDiamond From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 3279 posts, RR: 63
Reply 3, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1290 times:

Quoting LHMARK (Thread starter):
Honorable Mention:
13. When all else fails, call into question someones grammer or spelling.

You are hereby notified that you have violated rule #13, by misspelling the rule itself.  Smile  Smile
























grammer grammar



Blank.
User currently offlineAirPacific747 From Denmark, joined May 2008, 2370 posts, RR: 21
Reply 4, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1288 times:

Quoting LHMARK (Thread starter):
Honorable Mention:
13. When all else fails, call into question someones grammer or spelling.

lol yeah I recognize this one Big grin

that is so pathetic when people start doing that because they dont have anything better to attack/defend themselves with


User currently offlineSearpqx From Netherlands, joined Jun 2000, 4343 posts, RR: 10
Reply 5, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 1263 times:

Quoting LHMARK (Reply 2):
Can we refer to our...more fabulous...members as flamewarriors?

Clearly, by using the terms flame and fabulous in your post, you're a homophobic dirtbag, and I should sue you. But since I took the SAT (TWICE!), and you've provided no source to your suggestion, you don't really exist, so I will simply ignore you, as a fait accompli!



"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 47
Reply 6, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 1258 times:

I want documentation that you took the SATs.


"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineTPAnx From United States of America, joined Aug 2005, 1021 posts, RR: 0
Reply 7, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 1204 times:

Some other rules in an earlier post...Internet Pains..from the NY Times
TPAnx



I read the news today..oh boy
User currently offlineKiwiandrew From New Zealand, joined Jun 2005, 8525 posts, RR: 14
Reply 8, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 1196 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Quoting LHMARK (Reply 6):
I want documentation that you took the SATs.

I would like to point out that according to Searpqx , who is a really smart guy , you don't exist . By flagrantly continuing to post and therefore trying to deny your own nonexistence you are showing enormous disrespect to him - clearly this is insulting and unfriendly behaviour . If you are going to persist in asserting that you do in fact exist I demand you substantiate this by posting a link , from a reputable source*. At this point I was going to add that your mother does strange things with vegetables , however ,you dont actually exist , ergo , you do not have a mother , ipso facto.



*I will , of course , be the sole judge of what does/does not constitute a reputable source



Moderation in all things ... including moderation ;-)
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8668 posts, RR: 43
Reply 9, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 1187 times:

Phht! LHMark, si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses! You censoring dirtbag need to be taken to court for maliciously conspiring to take over Libturdslayer's world... and gee, go get your head checked!

 Wink



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 47
Reply 10, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 1184 times:

Oh yeah? Well Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

And you'll be hearing from my lawyer!



"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineKiwiandrew From New Zealand, joined Jun 2005, 8525 posts, RR: 14
Reply 11, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 1175 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Quoting LHMARK (Reply 10):
Well Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

now we see the truth , you only started this thread so that you would have an excuse to post that and show us that as a nonexistent person you are able to right fluent gibberish in a dead language .



Moderation in all things ... including moderation ;-)
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8668 posts, RR: 43
Reply 12, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 1175 times:

Quoting LHMARK (Reply 10):
And you'll be hearing from my lawyer!

Is his English as bad as your Latin? You can't even spel corectly! Besides, my lawyer drives a cooler car than yours, so he's better.

On a completely different matter: Anyone wonder what brand of mobile ILS must be using? My guess is Nokia, as in "I drive No Kia!"



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineKiwiandrew From New Zealand, joined Jun 2005, 8525 posts, RR: 14
Reply 13, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 1175 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Quoting LHMARK (Reply 10):
And you'll be hearing from my lawyer!

Lionel Hutz by any chance ??



Moderation in all things ... including moderation ;-)
User currently offlineEaglekeeper101 From United States of America, joined Aug 2005, 272 posts, RR: 2
Reply 14, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 1129 times:

Quoting Kiwiandrew (Reply 13):
Quoting LHMARK (Reply 10):
And you'll be hearing from my lawyer!

Lionel Hutz by any chance ??

He probably doesn't exist either, the silly twit. But I'm sure you made him up anyway  devil 



"The earth is but one country, and mankind its citizens." - Bahá'u'lláh
User currently offlineSearpqx From Netherlands, joined Jun 2000, 4343 posts, RR: 10
Reply 15, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 1104 times:

Quoting Kiwiandrew (Reply 8):
I would like to point out that according to Searpqx , who is a really smart guy , you don't exist



Quoting Kiwiandrew (Reply 11):
ou are able to right fluent gibberish in a dead language

While you're ardent acclaim of me is both de rigor and de jour, and totally apropos, you're spelling is horible, and I suspect this is do to you're claimed origins in New Zeland, although you are pataently from Belgum, witch on its face is absurd. So their!



"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
User currently offlineJafa39 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (8 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 1092 times:

Quoting LHMARK (Thread starter):
Even if Harry Hoinkus states outright that he likes tomato sauce on his pasta, you should demand documentation.



Quoting LHMARK (Thread starter):
Anyone who tries to limit your cross-posting or move a flame war to email is either a communist, a fascist, or both.



Quoting LHMARK (Thread starter):
13. When all else fails, call into question someones grammer or spelling

So, a.net lives by the roolz  Wink

Quoting Kiwiandrew (Reply 11):
now we see the truth , you only started this thread so that you would have an excuse to post that and show us that as a nonexistent person you are able to right fluent gibberish in a dead language

Well spotted.

I hate flamers...they annoy me (sic)  Smile


Top Of Page
Forum Index

This topic is archived and can not be replied to any more.

Printer friendly format

Similar topics:More similar topics...
Rules Of The Air..... posted Tue Jun 7 2005 18:52:22 by Chris78cpr
What Are The Rules Of Rugby? posted Fri Dec 31 2004 07:11:10 by Swisskloten
The Rules Of Self-Gloss Threads posted Tue Sep 9 2003 03:14:40 by Charleslp
The Rules Of Golf! posted Sat May 19 2001 11:11:43 by Aviatsiya
The First Snow Of The Season! posted Thu Nov 2 2006 22:58:49 by Birdwatching
The Worst Day Of My Interior Life Today posted Sun Oct 22 2006 04:13:36 by Derico
The Magic Smell Of A Brand New Car! posted Sat Oct 21 2006 07:11:06 by SFOMEX
9 Rules Of Life... posted Wed Oct 18 2006 01:52:46 by Kaddyuk
The Ugly Side Of Photography posted Mon Oct 9 2006 21:22:59 by 9V
"The Last King Of Scotland" posted Sat Oct 7 2006 14:15:10 by Thomasphoto60