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So You Think English Is Easy!  
User currently offlineEI787 From Ireland, joined Jan 2006, 1513 posts, RR: 21
Posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 3037 times:

There's no egg in eggplant nor
ham in hamburger; neither apple
nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented
in England or French fries in
France. Sweetmeats are candies
while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But
if we explore its paradoxes, we
find that quicksand can work
slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from
Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but
fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham? If
the plural of tooth is teeth, why
isn't the plural of booth, beeth?
One goose, two geese. So one
moose, two meese? One index,
two indices.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
what does a humanitarian eat ?
Sometimes I think all the English
speakers should be committed to
an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite
at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by
ship? Have noses that run and feet
that smell? Park on driveways and
drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat
chance be the same, while a wise
man and a wise guy are opposites?
How can overlook and oversee be
opposites, while quite a lot and
quite a few are alike? How can the
weather be hot as hell on one day
and cold as hell another?

You have to marvel at the unique
lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form
by filling it out, and in which an
alarm clock goes off by going on.

People, not computers invented
English, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race
(which, of course, is not a race at
all).

That is why, when the stars are
out, they are visible, but when the
lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch,
I start it, but when I wind up this
essay, I end it!

http://www.verbivore.com/

[Edited 2006-02-02 19:40:42]

14 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 1, posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 3027 times:

Well personally I find it a piece of piss....  Wink


She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineLeigh pilgrim From United Kingdom, joined Dec 2000, 392 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 2990 times:

''So you think English is easy''

Where did you get that idea from?, Im still struggling with it!!!, its a nightmare


User currently offlineCornish From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2005, 8187 posts, RR: 54
Reply 3, posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 2990 times:

English ?

Can't say I've ever had a problem with it.


Well maybe after a good few pints...  Wink



Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
User currently offlineAfconcorde1 From France, joined Jan 2006, 139 posts, RR: 0
Reply 4, posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 2913 times:

I would venture to say that my French is better than my English. (English is my native tounge.)


Je pense, donc je vole Concorde!
User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 19259 posts, RR: 52
Reply 5, posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 2910 times:

I dont hav prob wiv it.But sum ppls eNglish sks cos of stpdity or ignrnce. Yeahbutnobutyeah.Am I bovered?Do I lk bovered?R u callin me a pikey?


"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 6, posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 8 hours ago) and read 2870 times:

Quoting Pe@rson (Reply 5):
I dont hav prob wiv it.But sum ppls eNglish sks cos of stpdity or ignrnce. Yeahbutnobutyeah.Am I bovered?Do I lk bovered?R u callin me a pikey?

Congratulations. You have now passed your GCSE English exam.  Wink



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineMNeo From Bulgaria, joined Mar 2004, 776 posts, RR: 1
Reply 7, posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 7 hours ago) and read 2854 times:

Me failed english? that's unpossilbe!


Powered by Maina
User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 19259 posts, RR: 52
Reply 8, posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 7 hours ago) and read 2853 times:

Quoting MNeo (Reply 7):
Me failed english? that's unpossilbe!

You mean: Unpossiblle that's? Englsh faild me?



"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 19259 posts, RR: 52
Reply 9, posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 7 hours ago) and read 2848 times:

Quoting Banco (Reply 6):
Quoting Pe@rson (Reply 5):
I dont hav prob wiv it.But sum ppls eNglish sks cos of stpdity or ignrnce. Yeahbutnobutyeah.Am I bovered?Do I lk bovered?R u callin me a pikey?

Congratulations. You have now passed your GCSE English exam.

A Level, you mean.  Wink



"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
User currently offlineAleksandar From Serbia, joined Jul 2000, 3236 posts, RR: 32
Reply 10, posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 7 hours ago) and read 2848 times:

Ai reeeli traid to lern it. Ai trai and trai and now I very goood  Smile


R-E-S-P-E-C-T
User currently offlineGunsontheroof From United States of America, joined Jan 2006, 3509 posts, RR: 9
Reply 11, posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 7 hours ago) and read 2848 times:

Everyone on a.net understands it...can't be that hard....  Wink


Next Flight: 9/17 BFI-BFI
User currently offlineJap From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 6 hours ago) and read 2832 times:

Quoting Gunsontheroof (Reply 11):
Everyone on a.net understands it...can't be that hard....

Hard to master... yet considered one of the easiest languages to learn..

hmmmm...  Silly


User currently offlineSearpqx From Netherlands, joined Jun 2000, 4344 posts, RR: 10
Reply 13, posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 2811 times:

Quoting Jap (Reply 12):
yet considered one of the easiest languages to learn..

Because for every grammer rule, there are 1,000 exceptions, so you really can't get it wrong. . .  Wink



"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
User currently offlineBMIFlyer From UK - England, joined Feb 2004, 8810 posts, RR: 58
Reply 14, posted (8 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 2809 times:

English is easy compared to say, Welsh  duck 



Lee



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