Sponsor Message:
Non Aviation Forum
My Starred Topics | Profile | New Topic | Forum Index | Help | Search 
So You Think English Is Easy!  
User currently offlineEI787 From Ireland, joined Jan 2006, 1513 posts, RR: 21
Posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 2911 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

There's no egg in eggplant nor
ham in hamburger; neither apple
nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented
in England or French fries in
France. Sweetmeats are candies
while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But
if we explore its paradoxes, we
find that quicksand can work
slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from
Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but
fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham? If
the plural of tooth is teeth, why
isn't the plural of booth, beeth?
One goose, two geese. So one
moose, two meese? One index,
two indices.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
what does a humanitarian eat ?
Sometimes I think all the English
speakers should be committed to
an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite
at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by
ship? Have noses that run and feet
that smell? Park on driveways and
drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat
chance be the same, while a wise
man and a wise guy are opposites?
How can overlook and oversee be
opposites, while quite a lot and
quite a few are alike? How can the
weather be hot as hell on one day
and cold as hell another?

You have to marvel at the unique
lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form
by filling it out, and in which an
alarm clock goes off by going on.

People, not computers invented
English, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race
(which, of course, is not a race at
all).

That is why, when the stars are
out, they are visible, but when the
lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch,
I start it, but when I wind up this
essay, I end it!

http://www.verbivore.com/

[Edited 2006-02-02 19:40:42]

14 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 1, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 2901 times:

Well personally I find it a piece of piss....  Wink


She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineLeigh pilgrim From United Kingdom, joined Dec 2000, 392 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 2864 times:

''So you think English is easy''

Where did you get that idea from?, Im still struggling with it!!!, its a nightmare


User currently offlineCornish From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2005, 8187 posts, RR: 54
Reply 3, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 2864 times:

English ?

Can't say I've ever had a problem with it.


Well maybe after a good few pints...  Wink



Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
User currently offlineAfconcorde1 From France, joined Jan 2006, 139 posts, RR: 0
Reply 4, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 6 hours ago) and read 2787 times:

I would venture to say that my French is better than my English. (English is my native tounge.)


Je pense, donc je vole Concorde!
User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 19186 posts, RR: 52
Reply 5, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 6 hours ago) and read 2784 times:

I dont hav prob wiv it.But sum ppls eNglish sks cos of stpdity or ignrnce. Yeahbutnobutyeah.Am I bovered?Do I lk bovered?R u callin me a pikey?


"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 6, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 2744 times:

Quoting Pe@rson (Reply 5):
I dont hav prob wiv it.But sum ppls eNglish sks cos of stpdity or ignrnce. Yeahbutnobutyeah.Am I bovered?Do I lk bovered?R u callin me a pikey?

Congratulations. You have now passed your GCSE English exam.  Wink



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineMNeo From Bulgaria, joined Mar 2004, 776 posts, RR: 1
Reply 7, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 2728 times:

Me failed english? that's unpossilbe!


Powered by Maina
User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 19186 posts, RR: 52
Reply 8, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 2727 times:

Quoting MNeo (Reply 7):
Me failed english? that's unpossilbe!

You mean: Unpossiblle that's? Englsh faild me?



"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 19186 posts, RR: 52
Reply 9, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 2722 times:

Quoting Banco (Reply 6):
Quoting Pe@rson (Reply 5):
I dont hav prob wiv it.But sum ppls eNglish sks cos of stpdity or ignrnce. Yeahbutnobutyeah.Am I bovered?Do I lk bovered?R u callin me a pikey?

Congratulations. You have now passed your GCSE English exam.

A Level, you mean.  Wink



"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
User currently offlineAleksandar From Serbia, joined Jul 2000, 3235 posts, RR: 32
Reply 10, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 2722 times:

Ai reeeli traid to lern it. Ai trai and trai and now I very goood  Smile


R-E-S-P-E-C-T
User currently offlineGunsontheroof From United States of America, joined Jan 2006, 3499 posts, RR: 10
Reply 11, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 2722 times:

Everyone on a.net understands it...can't be that hard....  Wink


Next Flight: 9/17 BFI-BFI
User currently offlineJap From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 2706 times:

Quoting Gunsontheroof (Reply 11):
Everyone on a.net understands it...can't be that hard....

Hard to master... yet considered one of the easiest languages to learn..

hmmmm...  Silly


User currently offlineSearpqx From Netherlands, joined Jun 2000, 4343 posts, RR: 10
Reply 13, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 2685 times:

Quoting Jap (Reply 12):
yet considered one of the easiest languages to learn..

Because for every grammer rule, there are 1,000 exceptions, so you really can't get it wrong. . .  Wink



"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
User currently offlineBMIFlyer From UK - England, joined Feb 2004, 8810 posts, RR: 58
Reply 14, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 2683 times:

English is easy compared to say, Welsh  duck 



Lee



Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
Top Of Page
Forum Index

This topic is archived and can not be replied to any more.

Printer friendly format

Similar topics:More similar topics...
So You Think Analog Is A Dead And Outdated Format posted Sat Jul 30 2005 22:31:58 by Matt D
What Age Do You Think It Is To Late To Have A Kid? posted Sun Oct 8 2006 03:49:18 by 747400sp
Do You Think Jacqueline Is Full Of Doo-doo? posted Sun Aug 20 2006 18:52:25 by PROSA
So You Think Your A US Citizen posted Thu Jun 29 2006 00:11:26 by M&M
So You Think You Had A Bad Day At Work! posted Sat Mar 18 2006 16:11:48 by Luv2fly
Just When You Think Spring Is Here..... posted Sat Apr 23 2005 04:58:51 by Falcon84
Do You Think This Is Immoral? posted Fri Feb 8 2002 22:26:25 by Turbolet
Do You Think Religion Is Necessary For Humanity? posted Mon Feb 4 2002 07:20:07 by Herman
Why You Think Microsoft Is A Cool Company? posted Sat Dec 30 2000 17:00:39 by TWA
So You Dont Think That The Draft Is A Possibility? posted Fri Jun 24 2005 03:19:27 by Rsmith6621a
Do You Think Jacqueline Is Full Of Doo-doo? posted Sun Aug 20 2006 18:52:25 by PROSA