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I Need Girl Help..BAD.. (kinda Long)  
User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 1029 times:

Ok here goes..... I met a girl named Samantha at work last year, right after christmas. From the moment se walked in the store, it just hit me. The first time I saw her, I was...Enamoured.. to say the least. Her eyes were so beautiful. The blue in them stood out and were more beautiful than mere words could describe. She was also real nice to me, and accepted me for who I am. Not for anything else. Just who I am. I began to grow extremely fond of her. Then I found out she's 35.. 2 Kids..Divorced.. (She didn't look a day over maybe 27 or 28). I never told her how I felt. Then, I got transferred to another store, and we came clean with each other. She told me things that she wanted to tell me, and I told her how I felt. She appreciated my honesty, and agreed with me that we should stay friends, and not jepordize that with anything else.. I told her also that the hardest part about being transferred was having to leave her. Well, I stopped into say "hi" a few times, and then she dissappeared. (I can't really talk about why). I slowly distanced myself from the feelings, and was at a point where I thought I'd gotten over it.

Then, about a month ago, I found out she was back, and I went to her house to say hi again, and when she saw me, we ran to each other and had a BIIIG hug. We were happy to see each other, of course.. Now, here's the kicker. I am back at the store again. They brought me back, and working with her now, more closely than before, the emotions came flowing back and it kinda makes it hard for me. I don't really let it show, I am still being a friend for her, but I just need to know how to deal with this..

So, I turn to you, my Airliners.net family for help..

PLEASE!!!

Chris


Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
20 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineORD 777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 991 times:

Ask Dr. Suess, he knows...  Smile

User currently offlineORD 777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 989 times:

Sorry, that should be Dr. Freud.  Smile

User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Reply 3, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 992 times:

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't he dead?


Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Reply 4, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 988 times:

(I was referring to dr seuss..Is Freud in here??  Smile)

Chris



Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
User currently offlineORD 777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 982 times:

Sorry man, I think he's dead too.

User currently offlineFlight152 From United States of America, joined Nov 2000, 3393 posts, RR: 6
Reply 6, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 976 times:

No group of people need girl help more than a.net members.....

Flight152


User currently offlineDC10Tony From United States of America, joined May 2001, 1012 posts, RR: 0
Reply 7, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 976 times:

That sucks man.

I know you're probably keeping a safe distance because she's got kids. Just ask her out, you'll only be in agony with each passing day you've got to be with her if you can't express yourself towards her.


User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Reply 8, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 967 times:

I HAVE told her.. Also, her oldest kid is the same age as my youngest brother!!! I have told her, it's just hard.. We've met for lunch and stuff, but something was heavy on her mind (Her parents had gone to pick up a car, and were about 5 hours late getting home and wouldn't answer their cell..She had to make sure they'd be their when her kids got off the bus.)

Chris



Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Reply 9, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 956 times:

Superfly, Jetservice, Twotter, Boeing757fan, EGGD, Joona, NO ONE ELSE??


Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
User currently offlineLubcha132 From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2776 posts, RR: 7
Reply 10, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 954 times:

i need some girl help too  Sad

User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Reply 11, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 951 times:

MAKE YOUR OWN POST! (Sorry, but this is unfortuatley SERIOUS..)

Chris



Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
User currently offlineCPDC10-30 From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2000, 4780 posts, RR: 23
Reply 12, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 944 times:

The best thing to do would to be to talk with a mutual friend (preferably female) that both of you know and ask for advice.

User currently offlineTwotterwrench From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 941 times:

It's a tough one dude...but I know exactly how you feel. Believe it or not, I have been in almost the same situation. I got together with a girl who was 13 years older than me for almost a year, and for me, it was fantastic. For the most part, I dont' believe age matters. But, you need to put yourself in her shoes. She is going to have a lot harder time of it than you. Her friends are going to tease her about "cradle robbing." And the thing about your brother and her youngest being the same age.. don't bring that up. Also, she is going to be thinking that as she ages, you are going to be much younger and will tend to find her less attractive. I am not saying that you would, I am saying that this is what she is going to be thinking. She has kids to worry about, and they will always be first. They may not like mom dating someone so close to their age, and if they don't like it, they will make it very hard for both of you. This is just something you have to accept, you won't be able to change it no matter how hard you try. Also, the fact that she has been divorced is going to leave her with some distrust for men. Some deal with it better than others, but they all carry baggage from a divorce. That being said, all you do is be honest and ask her to do the same. And don't belittle what she says she feels about your relationship. If she says the age thing bothers her, then just say you understand. Don't try to talk her out of it, you won't win that argument. If she says I can't do it, show her how you feel by respecting that and letting things be what they are. The only way to a truly great romance is to be great friends first. I know I wasn't exactly the angel of lightness for you here...but I hope you see where I am coming from... Honesty on both sides is the only policy you've got here.

User currently offline174thfwff From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 938 times:

If she just wants to stay friends, DON'T PUSH! You will runie everything you will ever have, and ever had.

Take it for what you want, but if she says no, she usualy means it.


User currently offlineLubcha132 From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2776 posts, RR: 7
Reply 15, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 935 times:

i know!

User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Reply 16, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 19 hours ago) and read 913 times:

Yeah.. Thanks Twotter, THAT is the kinda stuff I need to see.. Anyway, it was originally ME who said we should stay "friends" as I didn't want to ruin what he had/have/whatever.. Also, she has MET my little brother, as he lives rite up the street from work..

Also, I have been told that I wear my emotions like a big zit on my face.. Easy to see.. NOt sure if it's true, but it is just crazy. And I, too, see age as only a number.. I don't want to do anything to hurt HER, and that's what I do.. Keep things even-keel..

Anyone else (PLEASE)?


Chris



Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
User currently offlineZbeeblebrox74 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 17, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 14 hours ago) and read 894 times:

Hey Airlinelover,

I've been in the situation sorta from both ends. When I lived out in Los Angeles last year (I was 26) I met a gorgeous woman. Instant attraction. I judged her to be around my age, perhaps 27 at the most. Turns out she was 34! The two of us became instant friends and remain very close now as well. She was seeing somebody at the time, and I wasn't going to interfere with that, but we had discussed that if things wouldn't work out between her and this other guy (who was also 26!) we should give it a go. Very correct that age is only a number. A good friend of mine, when she was 17 was dating a guy who was 35, divorced with two kids. Amusingly it turned out to be she! who was the more mature of the two.

Now I'm in the opposite position. I'm 27, and the girl I'm very! seriously involved with is 18 (19 next month). I met her when I was living in LA, but we didn't become 'interested' in each other until I had moved back to Europe. And yes, I have been accused by more than one of 'robbing the cradle'. My friends and family are all very supportive (not so big a deal in Europe, heck I don't think it'd legally be a problem here as long as she's at least 16!), but her entire family seems to hate me, especially her mother who accuses me rather viciously of taking advantage of her youth and 'impressionable' innocence. But, our relationship is a genuine and committed one. That's why we continue to go through with it despite all of the flak. She is very much 'wife material'

Another example is a lady I stayed with for several months, also in LA (quite famous actually. Big celeb in Canada in the late 70s). She's 54, and her boyfriend of the past 8 years is about to turn 32 Big grin They get along great, absolutely no problem there whatsoever. It's very funny actually. During Thanksgiving, his mom came to visit, and I think she was about the same age as his girlfriend!!

My advice to you: If you two are a good match, you have a mutual attraction, and you can live with the logistics (in my case 'long distance'), and don't mind bridging the gap between you and her kids, then by all means go for it!! Continue to be relaxed about it though. It's ok to be totally passionate, but remember, relationships have a lot of ups and downs, and you don't want to let the cycles burn you out. Best of luck!!!

zb74


User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Reply 18, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 873 times:

Thanks everyone.. You have given me much to think about.. I appreciate it..

Any more info is still welcome..

Chris



Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
User currently offlineAn-225 From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 3950 posts, RR: 40
Reply 19, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 869 times:

As hard as it is, you should remain just friends. You're better off with her being just your friend. Kids will ruin your freedom and might not accept you as their daddy.

Your ONE is out there, believe me.



Money does not bring you happiness. But it's better to cry in your own private limo than on a cold bus stop.
User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Reply 20, posted (12 years 10 months 3 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 849 times:

Yeah.. I talked to her tonite, and we still agree that we should be friends.. It will be easier in the long run, especially as wo work together... Anyway.. Now I have to find someone else..  Sad .. If I can get a pic of her, I'll upload it to the site..

Chris

Thanks again..




Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
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