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Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)  
User currently offlineCfalk From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (8 years 7 months 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 1123 times:

It's all detailed in Texas law. Texas, in its wisdom, has the following statutes:


370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport (non-commercial) purposes.

370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.

370.03 Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies, and vermin.

370.04 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed immediately to the nearest car wash.

370.05 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a powerboat, helicopter or aircraft.

370.06 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.

370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoon.

370.08 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs, hospitals or brothels.

370.09 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the same.

370.10 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, drugdealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

370.11 Bag and Possession Limits per day:
- Yellow-bellied sidewinders, 2;
- Two-faced tortfeasors, 1;
- Back-stabbing divorce litigators, 3;
- Horn-rimmed cut-throats, 2;
- Minutiae-advocating dirtbags, 4.
- Honest attorneys protected (Endangered Species Act).

(Got this off of an email. But I know Texas, and I am sure that some people are looking at this and going, "Hmmm, actually not a bad idea for a bill".) Big grin

13 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (8 years 7 months 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 1122 times:

Brilliant . . .


Of course, you have your Kevlar Flame Proof shorts on I'm sure!

  

Quoting Cfalk (Thread starter):
"FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.

Could have used this for politicians as well . . .

[Edited 2006-02-17 19:11:41]

User currently offlineTexan From New Zealand, joined Dec 2003, 4278 posts, RR: 52
Reply 2, posted (8 years 7 months 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 1122 times:

 rotfl 

Great one! Did somebody say scotch?!?

Texan



"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library."
User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Reply 3, posted (8 years 7 months 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 1111 times:

Quoting Cfalk (Thread starter):
370.06 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.

Awesome.



"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineTexdravid From United States of America, joined May 2004, 1355 posts, RR: 0
Reply 4, posted (8 years 7 months 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 1086 times:

It's certainly funny, but somehow a young lawyer from D.C. won't think so.
Prepare to be flamed. Good luck, and keep it up.



Tort reform now. Throw lawyers in jail later.
User currently offlineStuckinMAF From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (8 years 7 months 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 1063 times:

Quoting Cfalk (Thread starter):
But I know Texas, and I am sure that some people are looking at this and going, "Hmmm, actually not a bad idea for a bill".

On the phone with Kay Bailey Hutchison's office right now!

Hmm....wonder if I can go for paralegals too since I have an "super-combo" hunting and fishing license!

edited for spelling

[Edited 2006-02-17 19:37:50]

User currently offlineHalls120 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (8 years 7 months 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 1051 times:

Quoting Cfalk (Thread starter):
- Honest attorneys protected (Endangered Species Act).

At least I'm safe!  biggrin 


User currently offlineTACAA320 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (8 years 7 months 3 days ago) and read 971 times:

Don't find it funny at all.

User currently offlineFXramper From United States of America, joined Dec 2005, 7298 posts, RR: 85
Reply 8, posted (8 years 7 months 3 days ago) and read 959 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

I saw a bumper sticker today at AUS,

I'd rather hunt with Cheney, than ride with Kennedy!

cheers.

Drew


User currently offlineStevenUhl777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (8 years 7 months 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 891 times:

Quoting Cfalk (Thread starter):
370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport (non-commercial) purposes.

Awwww...rodents, snakes, attorneys...what's the difference at the end of the day?!  biggrin 

Thanks for that... Wink

Quoting FXramper (Reply 8):
I'd rather hunt with Cheney, than ride with Kennedy!

That made my day, FXramper...I passed it along to those who would appreciate it, and to my Uncle who will be very pissed off about it!  biggrin 


User currently offlineCfalk From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (8 years 7 months 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 870 times:

Quoting TACAA320 (Reply 7):
Don't find it funny at all.

Your post is pretty funny Big grin


User currently offlineStevenUhl777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (8 years 7 months 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 862 times:

Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 1):
Quoting Cfalk (Thread starter):
"FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.

Could have used this for politicians as well . . .

Hell, yeah...I got my first hot date since '69 coming up, too...

Signed,
Sen. Ted Kennedy,
D-MA


User currently offlineDL021 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 11447 posts, RR: 75
Reply 12, posted (8 years 7 months 2 days 7 hours ago) and read 810 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Good stuff.... In Georgia it's open season year 'round on lawyers, except for your own.....  Wink


Is my Pan Am ticket to the moon still good?
User currently offlineWardialer From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 1183 posts, RR: 0
Reply 13, posted (8 years 7 months 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 788 times:

I just wished he shot himself instead...Esp. on 9/11/01....

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