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So You Think You Had A Bad Day At Work!  
User currently offlineLuv2fly From United States of America, joined May 2003, 12090 posts, RR: 49
Posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 1 day 6 hours ago) and read 7184 times:

Enjoy this, I know I did.

Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana , which was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with A few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the Bottom of the sea.. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and! start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.! Needless to say I Aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my Butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now ! repeat the mantra to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

And whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself: is this a "jellyfish bad" day?


You can cut the irony with a knife
8 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineYYZflyer From Canada, joined Feb 2006, 3643 posts, RR: 4
Reply 1, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 1 day 3 hours ago) and read 7144 times:

Quoting Luv2fly (Thread starter):
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

 laughing  That sounds really painful. What would be even more painful is not being able to go to the bathroom for 2 days. Was that on Fri the 13 at 13:00  Wink



Avoid hangovers, stay drunk.
User currently offlineTrident3 From United Kingdom, joined Jun 2001, 1013 posts, RR: 2
Reply 2, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 1 day 3 hours ago) and read 7131 times:

When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this. On your way home from
work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the
phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing
and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the
thermometer.

Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become
chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that in
small print there is a statement, "Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested".

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the Thermometer quality control at Johnson & Johnson."

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT
IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS.



"We are the warrior race-Tough men in the toughest sport." Brian Noble, Head Coach, Great Britain Rugby League.
User currently offlineQR332 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 1 day 3 hours ago) and read 7119 times:

You think that's bad?

There's a video of a guy filming a porn flick who was standing at the wrong place in the right time... the actor ejaculated on his face while he was filming! Now think about how bad THAT would be when you are feeling low about your job.

 vomit 


User currently offlineMhodgson From United Kingdom, joined Dec 2002, 5047 posts, RR: 25
Reply 4, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 7087 times:

Quoting QR332 (Reply 3):
There's a video of a guy filming a porn flick who was standing at the wrong place in the right time... the actor ejaculated on his face while he was filming! Now think about how bad THAT would be when you are feeling low about your job.

Landed in my inbox yesterday. I'd post the link (you can't actually see anything bad) but I'm not sure if it is right.

Impressive distance on it, though  vomit 



No trees were harmed by this message. However, several million electrons were terribly inconvenienced
User currently offlineBMIFlyer From UK - England, joined Feb 2004, 8810 posts, RR: 58
Reply 5, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 7082 times:

Yes, I had a very bad day at work today  Sad

Ask Alex...


Lee



Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
User currently offlineQR332 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 7079 times:

Quoting Mhodgson (Reply 4):
Landed in my inbox yesterday. I'd post the link (you can't actually see anything bad) but I'm not sure if it is right.

Same reason I didn't post the link...


User currently offlineRichardPrice From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 7068 times:

Quoting Trident3 (Reply 2):

http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/thermometer.asp


User currently offlineMhodgson From United Kingdom, joined Dec 2002, 5047 posts, RR: 25
Reply 8, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 7047 times:

Quoting BMIFlyer (Reply 5):
Yes, I had a very bad day at work today Sad

Ask Alex...

Catastrophic 185 failure? Or was it just that Alex was with you?  Silly



No trees were harmed by this message. However, several million electrons were terribly inconvenienced
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