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300 A.netters On An A340 - What Would It Be Like?  
User currently offlineBirdwatching From Germany, joined Sep 2003, 3818 posts, RR: 51
Posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 23 hours ago) and read 3800 times:

So you board your transatlantic flight and you notice that due to a veeeeeery veeeeeeery unlikely coincidence, every single one of the 300 passengers is an Airliners.net member. What would the flight be like?

Here's what I think:

- Much lower stress for the cabin crew, because most of us don't ever give them a hard time, because we know what they're going through

- Everybody pays attention to the safety demo, although we've all heard it 100 times

- Plane will be looted of safety cards, pillows and other assorted service items

- Nobody will complain about anything, except the Germans in case it is Lufthansa

What else? Post!
(Btw, the cabin crew and the pilots are A.netters too, and even the ATC)

Soren  santahat 


All the things you probably hate about travelling are warm reminders that I'm home
110 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineScott2187 From United States of America, joined Feb 2006, 304 posts, RR: 0
Reply 1, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 23 hours ago) and read 3797 times:

i see a heated argument about some kind of politics.


“Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.”
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8702 posts, RR: 43
Reply 2, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 23 hours ago) and read 3797 times:

Quoting Birdwatching (Thread starter):
- Much lower stress for the cabin crew, because most of us don't ever give them a hard time, because we know what they're going through

- Everybody pays attention to the safety demo, although we've all heard it 100 times

You really live in your own la-la-land, don't you?  duck 

With the amount of whiny my-daddy-knows-you-boss teenagers etc. I've seen the last time I browsed through gen_av, that flight would have to be pure hell for the attendants. Sad, but true... although I'm sure if you pick the right people, the real enthusiasts, the flight would be a lot of fun for everyone involved.



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineKazzie From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 23 hours ago) and read 3797 times:

we have done 16 anetters on an A340 Big grin

User currently offlineDAL767400ER From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 23 hours ago) and read 3775 times:

-Some Boeing-cheerleaders trying to start a flamewar over why an A340 was used and not a 777  Wink .

User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8702 posts, RR: 43
Reply 5, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3775 times:

Quoting Kazzie (Reply 3):
we have done 16 anetters on an A340

You don't know how wrong that came out... with the Big grin and all.  rotfl 



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineFXramper From United States of America, joined Dec 2005, 7247 posts, RR: 85
Reply 6, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3775 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Quoting Kazzie (Reply 3):
we have done 16 anetters on an A340

orgy!  bouncy 


User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8702 posts, RR: 43
Reply 7, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3775 times:

Quoting FXramper (Reply 6):
orgy!

What do they say... "great minds"?  rotfl 



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineNighthawk From UK - Scotland, joined Sep 2001, 5134 posts, RR: 33
Reply 8, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3765 times:

300 passengers all banging on the cockpit door asking for a shot in the jumpseat or claiming to be an expert pilot after playing flightsim for a few hours, thats what it would be really like.


That'll teach you
User currently offlineCarmenlu15 From Guatemala, joined Dec 2004, 4757 posts, RR: 30
Reply 9, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3757 times:

As Aloges said, it's all about picking the right people... else we'd have 300 teenage armchair CEO's telling the real pilots and cabin crew how they should do their job!

Though I'd surely love to be on such a flight  bigthumbsup 

Quoting Kazzie (Reply 3):
we have done 16 anetters on an A340

Good, we only need 282 more! Big grin



What do I know, I'm just an 'immature troublemaker with only a passing interest in aviation' (or so they say)
User currently offlineYooYoo From Canada, joined Nov 2003, 6057 posts, RR: 50
Reply 10, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3748 times:

Quoting Kazzie (Reply 3):
we have done 16 anetters on an A340

Congratulations. You could have a promising career in Hollywood.  Wink



I am so smart, i am so smart... S-M-R-T... i mean S-M-A-R-T
User currently offlineBirdwatching From Germany, joined Sep 2003, 3818 posts, RR: 51
Reply 11, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3748 times:

Quoting Kazzie (Reply 3):
we have done 16 anetters on an A340

Busy girl Kazzie eh?

Soren  santahat 



All the things you probably hate about travelling are warm reminders that I'm home
User currently offlineAirKas1 From Netherlands, joined Dec 2003, 3979 posts, RR: 55
Reply 12, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3748 times:

Quoting Birdwatching (Thread starter):
What else? Post!

- Big fights over who gets the jumpseat Big grin


User currently offlineBritish767 From United Kingdom, joined Nov 2005, 284 posts, RR: 21
Reply 13, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3748 times:

It'd be horrible, what with all the know-it-alls telling everybody else (including crew) how they know a lot more about the plane/aircraft then they do.

There would be endless picture taking, which would all most likely end up getting given baddoubles on A.net!


User currently offlineBristolFlyer From United Kingdom, joined May 2004, 2290 posts, RR: 0
Reply 14, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3748 times:

ANCFlyer and Itsjustme as the undercover agents onboard ready to give 'what for' to anyone who steps out of line   ...Gkirk serving the drinks (and having one for everyone he gives out)   ...somebody    listening to James Blunt & Celine Dion on the entertainment system...WellHung trying it on with the ladies   ...Skiddy being helped on to the plane before everyone else   ...the list goes on...

And about 293 other people having an A vs B argument  yawn 

BF

[Edited 2006-04-20 16:46:22]


Fortune favours the brave
User currently offlineKazzie From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 15, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3731 times:

Quoting British767 (Reply 13):
It'd be horrible, what with all the know-it-alls telling everybody else (including crew) how they know a lot more about the plane/aircraft then they do.

Ill go to sleep again then haha

you are all a bunch of n00bs...


User currently offlineAirKas1 From Netherlands, joined Dec 2003, 3979 posts, RR: 55
Reply 16, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3721 times:

Quoting Kazzie (Reply 15):
you are all a bunch of n00bs...

Sure Karis, queenmother of all n00bs Big grin


User currently offlineStarAC17 From Canada, joined Aug 2003, 3359 posts, RR: 9
Reply 17, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3700 times:

The passengers will split up into 2 groups and there will be a massive brawl in Y class settling the A vs B war once and for all.


Engineers Rule The World!!!!!
User currently offlineBirdwatching From Germany, joined Sep 2003, 3818 posts, RR: 51
Reply 18, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3700 times:

Quoting Kazzie (Reply 15):
Kazzie From United Kingdom, joined Apr 2006, 167 posts



Quoting Kazzie (Reply 15):
you are all a bunch of n00bs...

Who's the N0000000b?

Soren  santahat 



All the things you probably hate about travelling are warm reminders that I'm home
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8702 posts, RR: 43
Reply 19, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3692 times:

Quoting Birdwatching (Reply 18):
Who's the N0000000b?

I nominate everyone who joined this month.



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineGreyhound From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 1026 posts, RR: 2
Reply 20, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3685 times:

Quoting FXramper (Reply 6):
Quoting Kazzie (Reply 3):
we have done 16 anetters on an A340

orgy!



Quoting Aloges (Reply 7):
Quoting FXramper (Reply 6):
orgy!

What do they say... "great minds"?

In case of emergency please feel free to grab on to the person next to you... oh never mind some of you have allready been practicing....  eyebrow 



29th, Let's Go!
User currently offlineTexan From New Zealand, joined Dec 2003, 4275 posts, RR: 52
Reply 21, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3683 times:

- Why not a 777? Are you prejudiced against Boeing  Silly
- 300 people saying that there should be new nonstop A340 service from their crappy hometown airport to a city they would like to fly to because there is obviously demand since they would fly it if their parents would pay for their tickets
- ANCFlyer would not be able to bring enough ammunition
- STLGph would be very happy
- I cannot believe that we aren't being comped first class seats
- And what's with the in flight food? We demand salmon and filet mignon! And serve it on China!
- What do you mean we are being unruly? You didn't serve us the food we wanted, we should receive free booze!
- Well, you can't reallyturn this plane around and land it because I've tried it before on flight sim and you'll have to circle for at least an hour and a half to burn off enough weight
- No, seriously, I can fly this plane!
- No, the captain will not come back and talk with you
- STLGph, stop dancing on the food carts!
- Atrude777, you too!
- No, Kirkie, sheep are not carry on items
- You still cannot sit in first class

"We are beginning our descent into Hell..."  Silly

Texan



"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library."
User currently offlineMhodgson From United Kingdom, joined Dec 2002, 5047 posts, RR: 25
Reply 22, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3683 times:

Singapore_Air would be taking photos of every toilet, and demanding the crew tell him why they are not smiling like a Singapore Girl would be doing.


No trees were harmed by this message. However, several million electrons were terribly inconvenienced
User currently offlineA332 From Canada, joined Feb 2005, 1644 posts, RR: 2
Reply 23, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 3669 times:

300 A.netters On An A340 - What Would It Be Like?

Well, it certainly would be quieter around here if it went down...  Wink



Bad spellers of the world... UNTIE!
User currently offlineSkidmarks From UK - England, joined Dec 2004, 7121 posts, RR: 55
Reply 24, posted (8 years 4 months 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 3647 times:

This has to be one of my worst nightmares!!!!  devil 

Fortunately I don't fly enough long distance flights to worry about having to share the flight with 300 complete loonies! Big grin

Mind you, YYZ should be a hoot !

Andy  old 



Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
25 GOCAPS16 : One juicy fart from me, everyone in business class will run back to economy class. Kevin
26 Post contains images Birdwatching : We'd all be quietly in our seats... ... on our laptops, all posting in NonAv through the Conexxion satellite internet. Soren
27 Post contains images Birdwatching : Who says you're in Biz? All the first class members are in the premium cabins, the others in eco, and the grandfathered members in the cargo hold. So
28 MattRB : - plane having to divert and several assault/battery charges being laid due to BvA/Wright/NW DC-9/I Hate/Love GWB arguments that got away..
29 Post contains images AsstChiefMark : I think the cabin crew would be busy assembling a few of these. Mark
30 Wingscrubber : This particular A340 ride would be a non-aviation one though right? We'd all be talking about non-aviation related topics?
31 Post contains images Nighthawk : Us grandfather members made this site what it is........show some respect! First class for us...
32 Mhodgson : But you're non-revs, so you go wherever there is space.
33 Daleaholic : People would set their camera's down, then somebody picks up the wrong one and it leads to an all out High in the sky brawl!
34 Post contains images BMIFlyer : I'm sure we would have a great time eh? Lee
35 FRAspotter : Maybe not during the flight, but once the plane lands, there would be 300 trip reports posted in the forum. That would not be fun...
36 Post contains images Saxdiva : Somebody would wonder what effect everyone flapping our arms would have one the plane's lift. After making a P.A. announcement to that effect, they'd
37 Post contains images Atrude777 : SHUT UP! While you Texan go around and get signature for your next senator role Alex
38 Post contains images Texan : Hey now, you know damn well I couldn't afford to be on a flight like that even if I wanted to And no more dancing in the aisles!!! Texan
39 DesertJets : All us cool a.netters will be sitting in the back of the plane w/ the bar cart next to us mixing a neverending pitcher of bloody mary's while we watch
40 Post contains images Dan2002 : I didnt know you could ride on a graphics card
41 Post contains images Atrude777 : Right, just get those signatures *stops dancing* WHAT?! awww damn! Alex
42 Post contains images 2H4 : Yes...it would be wise to avoid the Tech/Ops flight. Invariably, thousands and thousands of birds would be brought onboard as carry-on, and the aircr
43 Post contains images Aloges : Although we would have trouble agreeing on take-off if we somehow got on a moving conveyor belt during taxi.
44 Post contains images Greyhound : Just one note... That turbulence was George Bush's fault... just picture that argument
45 Post contains images JAGflyer : How many A.netters does it take to rent/fly an A340? 300: 2 to rent it 10 to crew it 4 to load and fuel it 50 to complain about the slow climb perform
46 Post contains images NWOrientDC10 : I wonder who would be relegated to the middle seats in the center section? Good Day Russell
47 Aloges : Hmm... something's missing. Oh yes, the woman the straight guys would require for joining the mile high club!
48 Rolfen : About 100 different videos from the same landing, that's one for each window seat on the plane.
49 Post contains links and images WellHung : 95% of them would look something like this: If Sabena332 and Aa61hvy are on board there would certainly be no shortage of this...
50 Post contains images Gkirk : Quite a few discussions about how the A340 uses the curvee of the Earth to get airborne
51 Post contains images LTU932 : Me too, such a flight would be kickass. And if it's Lufthansa we're flying, let's get Patrick (Sabena332) to come with us.
52 Post contains images WellHung : Certainly. Can an A340 even get off the ground with 300 people on board?
53 Post contains images Carmenlu15 : Another thing to be considered is the seat assignment, which could turn out to be a total nightmare. Imagine the logistics of seating 300 souls, makin
54 Post contains images 2H4 : Only crew would have access to the flight deck... 2H4
55 Post contains images LTU932 : And I would be demanding the window seat, next to the trailing edge of the wing.
56 Aloges : One more question that remains is: will Johan wear a mask if he joins? A la Darth Vader, "Users! I am your master!"
57 Dtwclipper : 150 arguments over the livery 80 complaints about the IFE 75 fights about the way things used to be 40 disagreements over Legacy A340 Flights and LCC
58 Post contains images Boeingfanyyz : I could see a serious brawl occuring! There would be some serious A vs B wars, I'll tell you that! Cheers, Boeingfanyyz
59 AA61Hvy : Hung-odds are I'd be high even before I board the plane
60 Post contains images Dtwclipper : Figures...you still haven't been able to find Any Drug Detox Drinks or pills
61 Post contains images Airplanepics : Hell!
62 Post contains images Ilikeyyc : The flight would be hell. The only way anyone could survive that flight is if people agreed to not talk about airplanes and aviation for reasons previ
63 Post contains images Aero145 : The flight would be nice, shutter sounds all around... Everything else you said I agree with.
64 Aloges : Long Island Iced Tea anyone?
65 SlamClick : 1. I don't care if we could do it over 300 segments a day, Northwest would STILL not replace their DC-9s with A-340s. 2. At least we'd know whether to
66 AirbusA346 : And how to sit 300 A.netters next to a window. Tom.
67 Post contains images MIAspotter : So true Yeah, no problems in serving the food since most of us know where the galleys are and know how to operate the ovens. No need for a safety dem
68 AirbusA346 : This thread is so funny, because some of it is so true. Tom.
69 Post contains images Carmenlu15 : 299 will be enough... I'll settle for the jumpseat. Alright, who gets to be cabin crew?
70 Post contains images Boeing Nut : An A vs B discussion start, within munites the aircraft would be diverted with a SWAT team standing by..... It is not often I look favorably on some o
71 Post contains images AA61Hvy : Havent bought any.. Have smoked in 2 weeks exactly. Oh well. I've just been drinking more. On this flight odds are I'd be drunk or high or both. I'd
72 Post contains images Aerobalance : Actually, Sherman Oaks or North Hollywood
73 FSPilot747 : One big orgy.
74 FlyKev : Im just thinking about the 300 trip reports youd have to sift through on the forums. If you want to start a really good discussion on board, then make
75 Trekster : My god, this would be a good flight. The safety demo would be done hundreds of times (come on, who has wanted to do it) Sign me up FIRST CLASS, as im
76 Post contains images Birdwatching : But a bunch of screaming 13year olds. Same shiat! Soren
77 Post contains images FlyingColours : Oooh I call Purser I'd just lock myself in the flightdeck and leave you all to it nah, We'd have a simple service consisting of a guess the Altitude
78 Post contains images 2H4 : I call captain. Can you say "Zero-G pushovers"? 2H4
79 Post contains images Birdwatching : Sorry, not possible. Captain - Johan First Officer - Henks Skymarshall - ANCflyer Flight attendant doing the "duty free sale" (yeah right) - Sabena33
80 Post contains images Carmenlu15 : That ought to keep the quiet during the whole flight.
81 Post contains images Redngold : All cabin crew members will be blind by the end of the flight... due to the unceasing flashes of 300 cameras. I call "talkative geek who bends your ea
82 Post contains images Atrude777 : I will also play deaf passenger who asks seatmate what the PA was said. Oh do we board by seat number? WIll we have assigned seats or scramble for our
83 Post contains images Saxdiva : This could be a scream... 300 a.netters simultaneously performing the safety demo, clad only in life jackets, right after STLGph helps us with the ch
84 YOWza : Sparked by a "I hope this runway is long enough for this underpowered log" type comment. YOWza
85 Post contains images AirbusA346 : Errrrrrr. No you won't Turn the flash off then Tom.
86 DLKAPA : It would look like a young british lass named Kazzie frantically running around the aisles in a vein attempt to escape 299 horny american teenagers.
87 Post contains images Greyhound : You sure about that one? Sounds like the part of the safety lecture on cabin depressurization (due to multiple bullet holes) might come in handy here
88 Post contains images Carmenlu15 : But in order for this to hold true, we should work under the assumption that there are at least 299 straight male a.netters. Quite frankly, I doubt t
89 Post contains images Birdwatching : Every 30 seconds, you'd hear somebody say "this is the 1000th thing I said on this flight!" Soren
90 RJ111 : Given the amount of stick the A340 gets on here. I'll be suprised if the fly-by-wire system doesn't fly itself into a mountain.
91 CastleIsland : Who'd be the first to take a dump on the First Class food cart?
92 Post contains images FXramper : Skidmarks...no pun intended.
93 CastleIsland : You're welcome, Johnny. Signed, Ed McMahon
94 Post contains images FXramper : LMFAO.
95 Post contains images LTU932 : Wouldn't we hire Kaz for that?
96 Post contains images Carmenlu15 : Then again, as I said... Diversity should be taken into account.
97 Post contains images LTU932 : Indeed. However, I do want to spend some time in the cockpit as well. But since you wanted the jumpseat, let's make a deal Carmen: You get the takeof
98 Kmh1956 : Well, there goes MY party.....
99 RootsAir : there you go...you beat me to that one
100 Post contains images ScarletHarlot : Oh! I want to do it in sign language like the lady does on the BA flights. I can sign "emergency" and "go down the slide, leaving all your bags behin
101 BA747YYZ : All too true! Do not forget Canadians complaining about AC. I see massive fights for the window seats, and devious upgrades, and the plane robbed of
102 Post contains images Carmenlu15 : Hmmm... Ok, deal!
103 Post contains images LTU932 : Actually I know I'll get the window seat. If someone wants to take it away from me, I'll just make him or her an offer he or she cannot refuse.
104 Post contains images AerorobNZ : I'd be the CSA checking you all in, then weighing all the handluggage & offloading people for being late to the check in/gate etc. You'd also find tha
105 Post contains images Cadet57 : Hell I'd imagine There would be guards at the doors to search all passangers and remove said articles as, in the case of a US airline, the loss would
106 Post contains images BCAInfoSys : Ya'll have it wrong. Seating would go based on your particular place in the a.net pecking order. Mendis would be captain (as he is still mr. RR 100),
107 Post contains images ClassicLover : I'll put my hand up for cabin crew, no worries at all. There'll be no resetting of the IFE, and if you don't pay attention to the demo you will pay!
108 Post contains images ScarletHarlot : Hey! Apparently I'll be Sir Stevie's seatmate!
109 Post contains images CastleIsland : I'll sit anywhere as long as my scratch 'n' sniff seat cushion doubles as a flotation device.
110 Post contains images BCAInfoSys : Trust me John; you won't want to be scratching or sniffing that cushion anytime I've been in the vicinity! Tonight it's a great combination of Hot Da
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