Turbolet From Cape Verde, joined Nov 2007, 0 posts, RR: 1 Posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 1258 times:
OK, there hasn't been a thread like this for a long time. I need some girl help. Around four weeks ago, I started going to private Italian lessons (again). Here, I first saw this beautiful girl. Well, she looked good and I tried looking her up on ICQ and I found someone whose details seemed to fit her. I asked her in the lessons if it was her and she said no, she only uses IRC at her uncle's (?) house and so on... well, she seemed really nice.
I found a good excuse to talk to her: notes. She takes excellent notes, and since I had not been there twice, I asked her for her notes on Thursday. Well, she was nice and lent me her notes till Friday, and on Friday she lent me another note which I am to give in on Monday. She's really nice, on Friday she sat right next to me... well, guess how I felt... I just dreamt about touching and kissing her...
Help, what do I do now? I don't want to ruin everything... she's 17 and I'm 15, that doesn't bother me, but what if it bothers her? And how do I find out if she has a boyfriend? Where/how do I ask her out?
Please help me! I don't want to lose my chance with this blonde beauty...
174thfwff From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 1, posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1216 times:
Many girls don't like to go out with boys younger then them. USUALY!
Maybe ask her to get something to drink before or after the Italiano Lessions.Buy her a coke or a canoli.
If she accepts, do it often, every other lesson. Build up a relationship. Make every move like you know what your doing. If you feel insecure, then your already 2 steps behind. Work on the going to get something to drink/eat first, then move on to bigger and better things.
I Like To Fly From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 1188 posts, RR: 2 Reply 2, posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1210 times:
Just be friends. If she is as nice and as good looking as you describe she probably has no problems getting guys and probably doesn't want a 15 year old boyfriend. Girls will almost always take an older guy versus one their own age, and your 2 years younger. It probably wouldn't work. But if you want to ignore that advice you should bring up stuff like whether she has a boyfriend and what she likes in a guy. Use that information for future reference if you decide to ask her out. The time and place is different for every girl, you just have to read when you have the best shot at getting a yes. Like I said, I would just be friends with her. She sounds like a great person & you can probably have a great friendship with her. But she sounds like she might be a little out of your league as far as a date is concerned.
C172Akula From Canada, joined Mar 2001, 990 posts, RR: 5 Reply 3, posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 1201 times:
You have your whole life to make friends, sounds like you want a girlfriend. So don't, I repeat don't fall into the friendship trap! Who cares if your 2 years younger, my friend is dating a guy 2 years younger than her, and you know why? Because she likes him, and his attitude. So get out there and make your intentions known, I'll quote you a line from Swingers that really makes sense in this situation:
"Now when you go over there don't be the guy in the PG-13 movie that every is really hoping makes it. Be the guy in the R movie, the one the audience isn't sure if they like yet."
Pretty much what I'm saying is be yourself, but don't get all sweet and cute. Keep an edge to yourself at all times, woman know we want it, so why play dumb? And remember, Always Be Closing!
I Like To Fly From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 1188 posts, RR: 2 Reply 4, posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 1182 times:
C172Akula, no offense but that is bad advice in this situation. Two years wouldn't be a problem if they were older... but in your teen years 15 & 17 are miles apart. Friendship is not a trap, I have a lot of girls I am just friends with and it's great. They always listen at least pretend to care, they hook you up with other girls you might not otherwise meet or get to know, and if you don't have a date to a party where you should or something they are happy to go with you so you aren't alone. The guy doesn't have a good chance with her, lets face it. If she is such a great person then they will be great friends and she will probably be able to hook him up with some other girls.
High From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 8, posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 1158 times:
The only time I have known girls to date young, is if you fall into one of these two catagories: 1) You are extremely hot. 2) You are extremely popular. Those are the only two times I can think, that i have known a girl to "date down"
Western727 From United States of America, joined Jan 2007, 643 posts, RR: 4 Reply 9, posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 1154 times:
Here's my two bits...
Perhaps you could find a cute girl your own age to date. I mean, there have got to be a few of them around, right? Yeah, cute girls are everywhere. Why the "tunnel-vision" thing?
Here's sort of the opposite scenario: I'm 25, and there's more than a few 18-19 year old girls that I could date. Except my friends say that they will "...Vomit and kill [me] if [I] date an 18 year old." And I happen to agree. I'd be willing to go as low as 21. By limiting myself, am I missing out on the chance to date? Not remotely. There are so many cute girls over the age of 21... Anyway, you get the picture.
So to sum up: Get over her. It's a skill you'll need.
RoyalDutch From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 917 posts, RR: 3 Reply 10, posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 2 days ago) and read 1131 times:
Hey Turbolet....sorry haven't seen ya in a while! When it comes to girls, every situation is different (remember, they never know what they want ), so just be very observant and size up the situation before you do anything. And don't misinterpret signals...that will just get ya in trouble...
Joona From Finland, joined May 2001, 1038 posts, RR: 10 Reply 11, posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 1120 times:
Two years wouldn't be a problem if they were older... but in your teen years 15 & 17 are miles apart.
Let's turn that the other way. I turn 18 in January. My girlfriend turns 15 in 3 weeks. Now, if you have a problem, you can come up to me and say it and I'll show what's it like to lie on the road with blood etc. bleeding hehe
Seriously talking, I don't know where did you get that '15 & 17 are miles apart' bullshit, because, frankly, it's not that.It's only 2 years. And you can't judge person by it's age. I've heard that my girl should be at least a year older, but I don't care. Because I and other people who know here and us know also that we belong to each other and really love each other. They also know that she's not immature etc.
Turbolet From Cape Verde, joined Nov 2007, 0 posts, RR: 1 Reply 12, posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 1117 times:
Well, thanks to everyone for your advice.
I feel that I must specify a few things:
-When asking for her notes, we exchanged our mobile phone numbers, so I do have her number, Iain (gee, you seem to be obsessed about girls' phone numbers )!
-Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I have no doubt that many guys consider her good-looking, but in the same way, many guys probably don't. OK, from my description she might be more beautiful and nice than she actually is. Don't get me wrong, she is beautiful, she is as tall as me (5'11"), she is blonde (although obviously dyed it looks great on her) and she has a beautiful figure and beautiful brown eyes. These features appeal to me but others might not like her. Her character is really nice, she smiles and seems to enjoy talking to people.
-I am neither extremely hot nor extremely popular. I'm 5'11", rugged build, I have medium brown hair, which, after around ten uses of highlights turned dark blonde, dark brown, almost black eyes so I'm not ugly (IMHO). I'm quite shy with new peple but I do show off a bit in the lessons and I pass humorous comments here and there.
Well, I probably don't have a big chance, but I feel I've got to try anyway. I'll try a subtle approach, no friendship traps and we'll see. It's no use warning me against fire - I have to get burnt to know.
Thanks for the advice though, keep it coming!
Turbolet From Cape Verde, joined Nov 2007, 0 posts, RR: 1 Reply 14, posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 1098 times:
My mum will drive...
euhhh... I don't want to involve my parents. I could ask her out to a drink or somewhere after the lessons though, Valletta (where the lessons take place) is a commercial heaven.
One last significant fact I forgot to point out is that we live on different islands. I live in Victoria, Gozo. She lives in Marsascala, Malta.
Iainhol From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 18, posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 1090 times:
I would not worry about her living on another island until you are sure she will go out with a 15 year old. I am in a similar situation, I meet a girl on Friday she is 22 and I am 18 (and very immature!), I got her number, and will probably call her tomorrow (the 3 day rule). I highly doubt anything will come out of it, but more then likely I will have a new friend!
I Like To Fly From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 1188 posts, RR: 2 Reply 20, posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 13 hours ago) and read 1081 times:
Joona, your girlfriend is 15? I am surprised... but it is different for the guy to be older. Girls always look up to older guys but rarely date younger guys. That is what this thread is about and that's why he has a small chance of getting with her. And yes 15 & 17 are miles apart. In fact, in your situation with you being 18 and your girl being 15, you will be 21 before you can legally have sex with your girlfriend. At least that's the law in the states. If you were to do it before then and you two broke up she could have you thrown in jail for statutory rape. It happens, it's the law, and there is a good reason for it. Now maybe that isn't how it works where you are, but it reinforces the point that is a big age difference. It's not bullshit, it's good advice. It is always better to be with someone closer to your age. I don't appreciate you saying my post is crap, and frankly you might have some moral issues being with a girl that young but I won't get into it.
I Like To Fly From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 1188 posts, RR: 2 Reply 22, posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 1057 times:
I was busy justifying myself in the last post and never really gave advice on the topic, sorry. If you really feel you must try for her, the slow subtle way would be best. And the friendship "trap" is almost unavoidable. You are going to have to become really good friends with her and really do some kissing up because you have so much working against you. You will have to make her at least think you're the greatest guy on earth for her to just give you a chance, but even then if some guy that is equal to you but happens to be a couple years older she would definitely prefer him. So my advice is still don't bother for a date unless you really think it could work out. And I honestly think if you rationally look at the situation it wouldn't. But who knows. I seem to be the only person who thinks girls make good friends even if you don't date them so maybe you shouldn't follow that advice. Anyway, good luck... you'll need it.
Turbolet From Cape Verde, joined Nov 2007, 0 posts, RR: 1 Reply 24, posted (12 years 1 month 3 weeks 19 hours ago) and read 1043 times:
Thanks again to everyone for your advice - anyway I'm off for the ferry on my way to the lesson. Well, I'll do my best, I'll try being friends and making her think I'm the best guy in the world and then...
Anyway, we'll see how things get on!
A big thank you again to everyone who posted here!