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To God: From The Dog  
User currently offlineKmh1956 From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, RR: 7
Posted (8 years 3 months 21 hours ago) and read 1860 times:

Ok, gang, it's silly Tuesday and I had to share this with you all!!
Enjoy
Kelly
 Silly  Silly  Silly

TO: GOD: FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell
one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it
still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for
a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice
ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "
Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human
hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do
humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they
throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because
I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'!

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of
saying "hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the
coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the
house- not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my
crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he
makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?


'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
5 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineMr Spaceman From Canada, joined Mar 2001, 2787 posts, RR: 9
Reply 1, posted (8 years 3 months 21 hours ago) and read 1847 times:

Hello Kmh1956.

Thanks for the laugh. Big grin

My dog does or has done at some point most of those things. You gotta love em!

There won't be any testicles waiting in heaven though .... she never had any!  silly 

Chris  Smile



"Just a minute while I re-invent myself"
User currently offlineFutureUALpilot From United States of America, joined May 2000, 2602 posts, RR: 8
Reply 2, posted (8 years 3 months 20 hours ago) and read 1832 times:

Lol, thank you for that...I needed it. I too have a dog and he has done almost all of those at one point or another.


Life is better when you surf.
User currently offlineLuv2fly From United States of America, joined May 2003, 12090 posts, RR: 49
Reply 3, posted (8 years 3 months 20 hours ago) and read 1822 times:

Very enjoyable thanks for sharing.


You can cut the irony with a knife
User currently offlineCO7e7 From United States of America, joined Dec 2004, 2848 posts, RR: 2
Reply 4, posted (8 years 3 months 15 hours ago) and read 1781 times:

That's very funny!!
My dog does a bunch of the stuff mentioned up there Big grin


User currently offlineAirbusA346 From United Kingdom, joined Dec 2004, 7437 posts, RR: 2
Reply 5, posted (8 years 3 months 14 hours ago) and read 1771 times:

LOL

Very funny  rotfl 

Tom.



Tom Walker '086' First Officer of a A318/A319 for Air Lambert - Hours Flown: 17 hour 05 minutes (last updated 24/12/05).
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