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How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All  
User currently offlineUAL747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 2929 times:

http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/


I die because:

Your next door neighbor beats you to death with a shovel.

 Smile

UAL

69 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24964 posts, RR: 56
Reply 1, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 2924 times:

While having fun with fireworks, an M-80 blows up in your hand. You die from massive blood loss.


When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineSrbmod From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 2919 times:

While attending a horse show, you bend over to tie your shoe. Halfway though the brief process, you receive a deadly kick from a startled Clydesdale.

User currently offlineAsstChiefMark From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 2910 times:

While working as a prostitute, you acquire a deadly virus that kills you from the inside out over the period of several years.

User currently offlineFumanchewd From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 2902 times:

You are electrocuted while attempting to rewire some light fixtures in your home.

Errr.. I was going to change a ceiling fan/light panel in the morning. Maybe I'll buy some insulated boots.


User currently offlineBAxMAN From St. Helena, joined May 2004, 671 posts, RR: 2
Reply 5, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 2888 times:

You are beaten to death by a disgruntled teammate with a bar of soap stuffed in a gym sock.

I suppose worse things can happen after bending over in the shower to pick up my teammate's soap.



I need to get laid
User currently offlineCPH-R From Denmark, joined May 2001, 6054 posts, RR: 3
Reply 6, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 2886 times:

While grocery shopping, a can of soup falls from above your head and strikes you in the face. You sue the grocery store, and upon hearing that you've won a large cash settlement, you suffer a massive heart attack and fall to the ground dead.

.. eh, that's karma for you  Wink


User currently offlineAviationmaster From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2881 times:

This is interesting:

"Engine failure causes an airplane you're on to fall rapidly and crash into the ocean, killing everyone on board. "

Guess I picked the right hobby Big grin


User currently offlineDAL767400ER From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2879 times:

"While in a hardware store, a strange man picks up an axe and attacks you with it, dismembering your body."
Yeah right  Silly .

[Edited 2006-05-01 00:20:49]

User currently offlineIlikeyyc From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 1373 posts, RR: 20
Reply 9, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2879 times:

An amputee overhears you as you snicker and make jokes about him. Enraged, he beats you to death with his prosthetic leg.


Fighting Absurdity with Absurdity!
User currently offlineAirPacific747 From Denmark, joined May 2008, 2476 posts, RR: 24
Reply 10, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2869 times:

During a routine haircut, your stylist violently sneezes and inadvertently stabs you in the neck with a pair of scissors, severing your carotid artery.

and here you can see when you'll die:

http://www.deathclock.com/



[Edited 2006-05-01 00:25:00]

User currently offlineYYZflyer From Canada, joined Feb 2006, 3644 posts, RR: 4
Reply 11, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2863 times:

During a routine haircut, your stylist violently sneezes and inadvertently stabs you in the neck with a pair of scissors, severing your carotid artery.


Avoid hangovers, stay drunk.
User currently offlineThepilot From Canada, joined Jan 2010, 5 posts, RR: 0
Reply 12, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2841 times:

Wind shear causes an airplane you're on to fall rapidly and crash into the ocean, killing everyone on board.

I'm a pilot to.  scared 



From YVR
User currently offlineIlikeyyc From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 1373 posts, RR: 20
Reply 13, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2841 times:

From the death clock link above:

Your personal day of death is:
Thursday, December 7, 2056

I'm in no hurry to get there. But now I'm curious, in 2056 won't we be able to regenerate limbs with human cloning technology? So in theory we won't have people with artificial limbs to be used as death clubs..... Maybe I will get to live a little longer?



Fighting Absurdity with Absurdity!
User currently offlineBushpilot From South Africa, joined Jul 2007, 0 posts, RR: 1
Reply 14, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2841 times:

While walking up an escalator, your shoelace gets caught in the moving stairs, and you are dragged all the way to the top. You die from internal injuries.

Funny thing was as a young kid I did get my shoelace stuck in a shopping mall escalator. My dad thinking quickly took the shoe off, apparently it got jammed in there pretty good and they had to shut down the stairs to get it loose. I was 3 or 4 years old.


User currently offlineAirPacific747 From Denmark, joined May 2008, 2476 posts, RR: 24
Reply 15, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2836 times:

I will die on October 24, 2060

1,719,292,821 seconds left lol


User currently offlineIBERIA747 From Spain, joined Aug 2003, 1831 posts, RR: 58
Reply 16, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2806 times:

"While on a boat, you slip and fall overboard. As you struggle to climb back in, your hands are chopped off by the motor's blades. You sink beneath the water as you bleed profusely. "

Interesting stuff...



¡¡VIVA ESPAÑA!!
User currently offlineCarmenlu15 From Guatemala, joined Dec 2004, 4763 posts, RR: 30
Reply 17, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2806 times:

Quoting Aviationmaster (Reply 7):
Guess I picked the right hobby

Tell me about it... Big grin

While sunbathing in your yard, a commercial airliner accidentally unloads its waste tank. You are impaled by several spears of frozen urine which fall from 30,000 feet above you.



Don't expect to see me around that much (if at all) -- the contact link should still work, though.
User currently offlineAviationMaster From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2799 times:

Quoting Carmenlu15 (Reply 17):
While sunbathing in your yard, a commercial airliner accidentally unloads its waste tank. You are impaled by several spears of frozen urine which fall from 30,000 feet above you.

 faint   laughing 

At least the chances of that happening are close to zero Big grin


User currently offlineBill142 From Australia, joined Aug 2004, 8466 posts, RR: 8
Reply 19, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 2793 times:

After haggling over the price of meat, an enraged butcher whips you to death with a large beef tongue.

Interesting.


User currently offlineABfemme From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 2783 times:

I die being dragged up an escalator - how nice!!

User currently offlineFutureUALpilot From United States of America, joined May 2000, 2608 posts, RR: 8
Reply 21, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 2779 times:

While hanging Christmas lights, you slip on an icy patch and fall from your roof, plummeting to the concrete below. You break your neck and die instantly.


I am supposed to die on September 27, 2083...I'll be 96...why I'm hanging X-mas lights in September, I don't know but I suppose I'll be happy to be that mobile at that age!



Life is better when you surf.
User currently offlineAirPacific747 From Denmark, joined May 2008, 2476 posts, RR: 24
Reply 22, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 2771 times:

Quoting FutureUALpilot (Reply 21):

I am supposed to die on September 27, 2083...I'll be 96...why I'm hanging X-mas lights in September, I don't know but I suppose I'll be happy to be that mobile at that age!

haha nice!! Big grin


User currently offlineBoeing744 From Canada, joined Jun 2005, 1844 posts, RR: 23
Reply 23, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 2763 times:

You put an excessive amount of lighter fluid onto a charcoal grill. Upon lighting the grill, you are engulfed in flames and are burned alive.

User currently offlineMrChips From Canada, joined Mar 2005, 938 posts, RR: 0
Reply 24, posted (8 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 2754 times:

Quote:
While attempting to remove a slice of burnt toast from your toaster using a metal fork, you're electrocuted.

Nice - I'm not THAT stupid...

Everyone knows that you use PLASTIC forks to retrieve stuck toast.



Time...to un-pimp...ze auto!
25 AA777 : While leaving a Chinese restaurant, you suffer fatal cardiac arrest and collapse into a pond of frantic Koi. Yep. Sounds like me. I love Chinese food.
26 Post contains images EWS : A homeless man hits you with a fast-moving shopping cart, breaking your neck Yikes.. suppose its better then being beaten to a pulp by skidmarks and A
27 Yegmaster : I'm gonna get gored by a bull in Spain. Should be a fun vacation. Cheers.
28 Lentigomaligna : While crossing what is typically a very quiet street, you're struck by a speeding motorist and are killed instantly. Amazing how many of us die by mur
29 Post contains images Daleaholic : Eek A suicidal airline pilot intentionally crashes the plane you're on, killing you (and everyone else on board). Kinda coincidental I found the site
30 Duff44 : "While in a hotel pool, you are trapped underwater by the powerful suction of the pool's pump, and you drown to death." I don't swim (I can but choose
31 Post contains images SATX : A crazed man in a hardware store fatally attacks you with a garden hoe. I guess the other guy survives. I'd be pissed if I can't take him down in the
32 Beefer : "While you're in bed with another woman, your wife comes home and catches you in the act. In a fit of rage, she stabs you to death violently with a pa
33 UAalltheway : After suffering with a severe headache for days, the aneurysm in your brain bursts, killing you instantly. Yayers.
34 Post contains images Joffie : You develop an extreme case of intestinal worms after eating at a "new" sushi restaurant. Your body is unable to fight off the infection, and you die
35 Post contains images NightHawk117 : Pat Robertson smites you with his bible after he hears you say the word "damn". You die of a concussion.
36 StudentFlyer : As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, your face is skinned using steel wool and subsequently doused with bleach. While you're still alive, you
37 Post contains images LTU932 : While attempting to remove a slice of burnt toast from your toaster using a metal fork, you're electrocuted. Erm, I don't even have a functioning toas
38 Texan : While you're walking down a busy street, a suicidal maniac jumps from an apartment window thirty stories above you. Unfortunately for both of you, the
39 LHMARK : "While driving, you attempt to beat a freight train and drive around the gates. Thanks to a miscalculation on your part, the train collides with your
40 EGTESkyGod : "You die from electrocution after urinating on an electric fence. Unlucky."
41 Post contains images Jaspike : "You commit suicide after being diagnosed HIV positive." Not good. Tom
42 We're Nuts : A tormented street mime beats you to death with an "unimaginary" cane. I'll give the little freeloader a good fight.
43 Tom12 : Prior to surgery, you are accidentally given a lethal dose of anesthesia and never wake up. Great! lol Tom
44 Malb777 : A deranged homeless man climbs over the dividing wall of a department store dressing room and strangles you to death with a clothes hanger. Gee I hope
45 Doona : While sleeping, you're tied to your bed by your girlfriend and peeled to death using a vegetable peeler. This is pretty bad, being killed by my girlfr
46 Post contains images KPDX : In a case of mistaken identity, you are shot to death by a drug dealer. KPDX
47 Alphafloor : 'You are mauled to death by a rabid pitbull.' Man... !
48 CanadianNorth : "While driving, you impatiently tailgate a slow-moving semi. Without warning, the semi slams onto its brakes, and you slam into the back of it. A seco
49 Post contains images Fbgdavidson : Anyone else think the guy who wrote these is an aviation fan with a fetish for the homeless? Seems to have way above the average quota for these! I've
50 EGTESkyGod : Are you from Cornwall?!
51 Post contains images BMIFlyer : Erm... A chiropractor improperly cracks your neck, breaking it and killing you instantly. Lee
52 Post contains images EWS : Your definatly right.. things kids do.. Lew
53 Dba4U : "You die of heart failure after a night of mixing pain killers and hard liquor." Uh-Oh...
54 We're Nuts : Don't worry, it hasn't killed Elizabeth Taylor yet.
55 ANITIX87 : In a case of mistaken identity, you are shot to death by the mob. Almost the same thing KPDX. We should not hang out together amongst mobsters who de
56 PIA777 : I am going to be cut in half when my neighbor slams my cars trunk on me??? What a waste of 30 seconds. Can I have that 30 seconds of my life back? PIA
57 Go3Team : Depressed with life in general, you blow your brains out with a shotgun. Should I get the toe attachment option next time I buy one?
58 Malb777 : mm my death day is July 22 2033 and i have 888.995.502 seconds to live , best i set the timer on my watch.
59 MSYtristar : Depressed with life in general, you blow your brains out with a shotgun. A little too gory for my liking, but hey, fate is fate!
60 Jetjack74 : While in a hardware store, a strange man picks up an axe and attacks you with it, dismembering your body.
61 Post contains images ITGeek : An incompetent nurse gives you an enema with a power washer. You are alleviated of your constipation, but your colon and intestinal tract are complete
62 JetsGo : You are taken hostage as part of a bank robbery. When law enforcement refuses to meet the demands of the suspect, the suspect shoots you in the head t
63 Post contains images Windshear : While hanging Christmas lights, you slip on an icy patch and fall from your roof, plummeting to the concrete below. You break your neck and die instan
64 EGTESkyGod : I just did it again. "You are incredibly unlucky. You have a car crash, your seat belt snaps throwing you clean out of the car..... onto a level cross
65 Post contains images Nighthawk : You die from complications of liver failure caused by years of heavy drinking. Ah well, at least I get to die happy
66 Halls120 : You attempt to go for a swim in the hotel pool after having one too many drinks late one night. Once in the deep end, it dawns on you that you don't k
67 Post contains images Greyhound : A suicidal airline pilot intentionally crashes the plane you're on, killing you (and everyone else on board). Does that mean I need to take the bus mo
68 Cadet57 : You attempt to go for a swim in the hotel pool after having one too many drinks late one night. Once in the deep end, it dawns on you that you don't k
69 Post contains images Carmenlu15 : No, I don't. Sometimes I can hear airplanes overflying my home, but I can hardly ever see them. Then again, I guess I need to rethink that idea of mo
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