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Need Advise....  
User currently offlineDc10s4ever From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 19 hours ago) and read 897 times:

I was just visiting a friend this past week, and I hate to say it but she is doing a poor job of raising her kids.
First of all she is currently on her second marriage. Her new husband has a big problem with her two children from the first marriage. Her eldest son(15) has already moved out because he cannot get along with her new husband. From what I see her husband is a big problem. He was constantly picking fights with her son before he left. He would call him all kinds of names, tell him he is stupid and will one day end up in prison just like his real dad. Constant yelling and cussing at the son as well.
Eventually the son had enough and went to live with his grandparents.
Now he is starting the same on the eldest daughter (13). He is telling her she is stupid and will work at McDonalds for ever, constantly yelling at her. He locks her in the closet at punishment.

Now for more....
The mother (my friend) is not all innocent either. They really dont enforce the importance of school work. The daughter is failing ALL her classes with a score of 13%, they dont really have the kids on a schedule to do school work in the evenings.
They really dont feed the kids healthy food, nor teach them the values of eating healthy. Dinner for the kids the other night was candy, chips and soda. The eldest daughter has already lost two teeth, and rearly (if ever) goes to the dentist for regular check ups.

It is pretty upsetting to me, I have known both since they were babies, I am the god father. I have tried be suttle and discreet to my friend and make suggestions, but nothing seems to work. I have considered and am more so contacting CPS.

5 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineTedTAce From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 858 times:

Ask if she minds you spending any time with them. Ask her if she minds you taking them to the dr./dentist at your expense. If the answers are yes and yes, do it. Don't be condecending to them, just hang out and find things they like to do. If they want to talk about it they will, and all you can do is say is put yourself as a positive example and demonstrate that someone is willing to spend personal time with them and address their needs, never take a shot at their parents to them. If you don't have the means to take them to the Dr or hang out with them, then distance yourself as much as possible. If you genuinely think there is abuse going on, then do call the authorities.

User currently offlineDuff44 From United States of America, joined Apr 2006, 1723 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 855 times:

Call the authorities. Locking someone in a closet isn't punishment, it's abuse.

Like cancer, this sort of thing doesn't heal itself.



I'll rassle ya for a bowl of bacon!
User currently offlineCfalk From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 854 times:

These kids have no future if they stay in this family. The parents have no business being parents.

Unfortunately, it is not illegal to be a bad parent. I would suggest that you have a serious talk to the grandparents. I'm sure they must be pretty apalled. Do the kids themselves want a better life? They of course would have to be willing to put in the effort as well, such as in school.

I think that these kids need to be removed from that home and given to someone else. Even an orphanage would be better. They are headed to the very bottom of society.


User currently offlineBMIFlyer From UK - England, joined Feb 2004, 8810 posts, RR: 58
Reply 4, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 835 times:

Quoting Duff44 (Reply 2):
Locking someone in a closet isn't punishment, it's abuse.

 checkmark 

Quoting Cfalk (Reply 3):
These kids have no future if they stay in this family. The parents have no business being parents.

 checkmark 



Lee



Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
User currently offlineAirCop From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (8 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 822 times:

The authorities need to be notified. If they don't do something as least you attempted. No child should be treated this way, and it appears that they have already reached the age of where decisions today will affect their futures.

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