DeltaDC9 From United States of America, joined Apr 2006, 2844 posts, RR: 4 Posted (7 years 3 weeks 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 1743 times:
When Osama bin Laden died, he was met at the Pearly Gates by
George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled, "How
dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"
Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted,
"You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."
James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This
is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"
Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Osama with a long cane and
snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the
Declaration of Independence."
The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James
Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.
As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Bin Laden
wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."
The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians
waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"
Dont take life too seriously because you will never get out of it alive - Bugs Bunny
KaiGywer From United States of America, joined Oct 2003, 12043 posts, RR: 42 Reply 1, posted (7 years 3 weeks 6 days 12 hours ago) and read 1720 times:
Boeinglover24 From United States of America, joined Apr 2006, 304 posts, RR: 5 Reply 5, posted (7 years 3 weeks 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 1635 times:
Really Funny.........
I'm a Virginian myself born in Richmond now dwelling in the northern cities...
WellHung From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 12, posted (7 years 3 weeks 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 1448 times:
Quoting KFLLCFII (Reply 9): PS- I give it 10 more posts until this turns into a "Bash America / GWB" thread...
When Hiawatha and Red Jacket died, they were met at the Pearly Gates by George W. Bush, who slapped them both across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive! We may not have found your WMDs and to be quite honest, we don't really care whether you had them or not. The truth is, I'm the decider and I decide what you do or do not have when it is convenient for ME!"
Dick Cheney approached, booted them in their respective genitals and shouted, "You uhh wanted to end ummmm our ahhmmm liberties but you uhhh failed."
Don Rumsfeld followed, performed the Three Stooges double eye poke and shouted, "This is why I allow our government to provide for the common defense. Or whatever The Decider claims is the common defense at the time."
John Ashcroft was next, beat the duo with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to make someone else write the Patriot Act."
The beatings and thrashings continued as Condi Rice, Alberto Gonzales, Michael Brown and other patriotic Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorists. "Attaboy Brownie" could be heard in the background.
As they lay bleeding and in pain, Bill Clinton strolled by with the three sluttiest looking broads in town. After analyzaing the scene for a second, he said "Um, I think you want that dirty bearded guy over there in bed with Satan. These guys are Iroquois."
Mrmeangenes From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 566 posts, RR: 0 Reply 16, posted (7 years 3 weeks 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 1339 times:
Hayowentha (who had long since resigned himself to being called "Hiawatha") was dozing peacefully near the doorway of his lodge,when he was awakened by a sudden commotion.
The aptly-named Sagowentha (He keeps them awake) had painted his face red and black-the colors of War-and was dancing around a warpole: calling loudly for all warriors to join him in battle.He had even donned his red British officer's jacket -(which, truth be known, had gotten somewhat funky over the centuries.)
Hayowentha, as designated representative of The Peacemaker,felt an obligation to investigate, and, sighing theatrically,rose to his feet and
hobbles over to see what his red-jacketed descendant was up to.
"Red Jacket," he called. " Why have you taken up the hatchet ? Why do you call the Nations to War ? Has someone opened another "Red Jacket Lodge" in Massachussetts ?"
" Worse than that,Grandfather !", Sagowentha responded. " Some dude who calls himself "Well Hung" has spoiled a perfectly good Osama joke by posting a pointless, Bush-bashing non-sequitur !!"
" Hai-eeee !", screamed Hayowentha. " You got any more of that war paint ?"
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