WellHung From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 12, posted (7 years 6 months 4 weeks 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 1836 times:
Quoting KFLLCFII (Reply 9): PS- I give it 10 more posts until this turns into a "Bash America / GWB" thread...
When Hiawatha and Red Jacket died, they were met at the Pearly Gates by George W. Bush, who slapped them both across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive! We may not have found your WMDs and to be quite honest, we don't really care whether you had them or not. The truth is, I'm the decider and I decide what you do or do not have when it is convenient for ME!"
Dick Cheney approached, booted them in their respective genitals and shouted, "You uhh wanted to end ummmm our ahhmmm liberties but you uhhh failed."
Don Rumsfeld followed, performed the Three Stooges double eye poke and shouted, "This is why I allow our government to provide for the common defense. Or whatever The Decider claims is the common defense at the time."
John Ashcroft was next, beat the duo with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to make someone else write the Patriot Act."
The beatings and thrashings continued as Condi Rice, Alberto Gonzales, Michael Brown and other patriotic Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorists. "Attaboy Brownie" could be heard in the background.
As they lay bleeding and in pain, Bill Clinton strolled by with the three sluttiest looking broads in town. After analyzaing the scene for a second, he said "Um, I think you want that dirty bearded guy over there in bed with Satan. These guys are Iroquois."
Mrmeangenes From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 566 posts, RR: 0 Reply 16, posted (7 years 6 months 4 weeks 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 1727 times:
Hayowentha (who had long since resigned himself to being called "Hiawatha") was dozing peacefully near the doorway of his lodge,when he was awakened by a sudden commotion.
The aptly-named Sagowentha (He keeps them awake) had painted his face red and black-the colors of War-and was dancing around a warpole: calling loudly for all warriors to join him in battle.He had even donned his red British officer's jacket -(which, truth be known, had gotten somewhat funky over the centuries.)
Hayowentha, as designated representative of The Peacemaker,felt an obligation to investigate, and, sighing theatrically,rose to his feet and
hobbles over to see what his red-jacketed descendant was up to.
"Red Jacket," he called. " Why have you taken up the hatchet ? Why do you call the Nations to War ? Has someone opened another "Red Jacket Lodge" in Massachussetts ?"
" Worse than that,Grandfather !", Sagowentha responded. " Some dude who calls himself "Well Hung" has spoiled a perfectly good Osama joke by posting a pointless, Bush-bashing non-sequitur !!"
" Hai-eeee !", screamed Hayowentha. " You got any more of that war paint ?"