DeltaGator From United States of America, joined Sep 2005, 6341 posts, RR: 13 Posted (8 years 6 months 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 3099 times:
The little lady informed me this week that she is pregnant and that we are expecting the rugrat in early February (please don't show up on Super Bowl weekend!)
I'm going to be 33 this year but I have no idea what is going to happen when the rugrat comes along. There are days I wonder how I'm even capable of taking care of myself. How in the world will I be able to take care of a baby who requires constant attention? Where does one even begin to take care of them? I've never changed a diaper in my life and worry that I'll screw that and many other things up.
I don't envision my life ending as we know it but I definitely see my priorities changing quite a bit. Hopefully it will be a boy as I don't have a clue about girls. Add to that I know how perverted guys can be and I don't want to greet all prospective suitors at the door in 16 years with a shotgun. What about flying with them? I hate kids in the F cabin who misbehave so I'll keep mine in check as much as possible.
I'm sure everything will work out just fine but I'm just a bit worried about my ability to take care of the rugrat as they progress through the stages of life. Wish me luck.
"If you can't delight in the misery of others then you don't deserve to be a college football fan."
Yegmaster From Canada, joined Dec 2004, 1023 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (8 years 6 months 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 3087 times:
Don't worry, daddyhood comes naturally. You'll be fine.
Quoting DeltaGator (Thread starter): What about flying with them? I hate kids in the F cabin who misbehave so I'll keep mine in check as much as possible.
Kids always misbehave, It's what they do best.
People flying should except the fact that if there are children onboard (and those odds are pretty good) it could be a hit or mis. It has nothing to do with their general behaviour. The sweetest kid on the block can throw the worst tantrum on any flight (nevermind smelling up the cabin with you know what).
Airwave From United States of America, joined Mar 2006, 1117 posts, RR: 3
Reply 4, posted (8 years 6 months 5 days 2 hours ago) and read 3065 times:
First off, congratulations! I know it's wayyyy too early to know anything about the little gene blob other than it's likely half-human, half-crocodillian, but I hope that the pregnancy goes smoothly for the Missus and the next nine months go relatively so for you in the Glenn Quagmire department.
As I'm nigh 22 years removed from the womb myself and I've been smart enough not to find myself in the family way, I can't offer you advice from a parental standpoint. However, I offer you a few tips that, looking back, made and broke childhood for me.
1.) Make the kid take some sort of music lessons and make 'em practice. I was a bright kid, but for some reason my parents never signed me up for piano lessons and looking back, I think I've missed out. Maybe it's not the ability to play Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata blindfolded, but rather to be able to hear the music in your head as you read the notes.
2.) Please, please please: for the sake of you and your child, do not try to live vicariously through them. It doesn't work and the only one who will benefit will be your kid's therapist 30 years down the line. This is especially true of girls, since they usually have the father spoiling them and the mother entering them in the beauty pageants she never got to be in.
3.) Another please: you are not your child's "buddy". You are their parent. Make 'em laugh, make 'em cry, make 'em think. But most of all, make 'em grow.
4.) One word: clowns. All kids hate them. Don't ever hire one. Doing so usually leads to a life scar and alcoholism. (Ok, I can't prove the first part. )
5.) Corporeal punishment: not just for nuns! But in modereto, per piacere. Grazie
6.) Stay-at-home parents rule. If you can't make it work, that's fine, but try and have a parent at home when the kid leaves for school and comes back from it. It makes all the difference in the world.
Ok, I just reread this and realized that I would start entering Martin Luther's 95 theses territory if I kept this up, so I'll stop there. Besides, there are other threads that need me to grace them with my presence.
My final bit of advice is to get him plane spotting as soon as he can say airplane, to an airshow as soon as he can say wow, and MS Flight Simulator as soon as he asks how much a used 1996 Cessna 172 with a full glass panel and air conditioning costs. But keep him away from us deranged A.netters as long as you can, lol.
Best of luck to you. You've got at least 18 crazy years ahead. Or 20...25...
When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
ANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (8 years 6 months 5 days 2 hours ago) and read 3062 times:
Being a confessed child-hater, I feel your pain. I have my daughter of course - and love her to death - wouldn't ever give her up . . . but the idea of having one more much less more more was solved two weeks after her birth. Kids do not fit my lifestyle.
Things are going to change . . . rapidly.
You will find Daddyhood is a natural thing if you're already a decent human being in the first place, your child will be just fine. And you'll find yourself doing all sorts of things you never would have considered doing (I'm not talking about changing dipers and the like) - with my daughter it was having a tea party with little plastic tea cups and non-existent cookies . . . it was trying to understand what she was trying to say and why when she was three . . . it was watching some purple dinosaur looking creature named Barney . . . it was trying to understand why this particular doll (Bratz I think they're called) is better than every other doll on the market . . . it's watching movies over and over and over - the same ones - over and over and over . . . trying to explain complicated things to an 8 year old in their language . . .
So there will be good times. My favorite times of the year are when I go see my daughter or she comes here (she arrives in ANC on 6/9for a month).
And as someone mentioned - they'll change right before your eyes. In fact, when I look at Miranda's pictures from just a year ago, I'm amazed how much she has grown both physically and mentally.
AndesSMF From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (8 years 6 months 5 days 2 hours ago) and read 3050 times:
Well, congratulations! As the proud parent of a girl and a boy, I can fill you up with all sorts of suggestions and know-how. I'll list them step by step.
1. All parents wing it, some just do it better than others. Know your child, and realize that the 'rules' that apply to children are not general, they are children specific and you will change them as you get to know them.
2. Be very happy that you have a child coming. All our children were planned and wanted right from the beginning. My daughter was an absolutely wonderful baby. And my son, well, he's just like dad.
3. If you have a daughter remember, it is another WOMAN, and treat her as such, then you'll be fine.
4. Always cherish your children, you'll never know the pain of a loss. Little Alex left us at 12 weeks of pregnancy, and we still mourn over him. And we cherish the moments we have with our kids.
5. If you are lucky, the boy will turn out just like you. Took Jr. on his first airplane trip at 3.5 years, and he loved it.
6. Learn. Kids can teach you as many things as you can teach them. And there is an inherent joy in seeing old things become new in their eyes.
Futureualpilot From United States of America, joined May 2000, 2608 posts, RR: 8
Reply 10, posted (8 years 6 months 5 days ago) and read 3018 times:
I am not a parent yet, but from another standpoint as a still growing and learning son I'll give my 2 cents...
Looking at my dad, he was always there for my brother and I. He never tried to live through us, he just supported us in what we did and do. He hates single engine aircraft but I have stuffed him into my little 172s more than once. I know he probably hated it but he did it to show his support and that means more to me than anything he could have done. In recent years he has begun treating me more like an adult than his son, but he is still there for me to turn to when I need advice, and he is always there to straighten me up when I get out of line. He has always had a way of making me feel comfortable when talking to him, and that has been one of the best parts of growing up, having the opportunity to talk to my old man about everything from women and sex to sports, cars and religion.
What I am saying is be there for your child, as his/her father he/she will need you, no matter what. Support him/her, be it in sports, school, whatever, but don't become the typical "soccer parent" and try and push them too hard. Don't let them "run wild" and ensure that he/she is involved in some sort of sport or other activity. I am grateful everyday for my parents not allowing me to sit at home and watch TV all day. Remember to have patience, kids mess up, its how we learn, I'm sure you will get ticked off plenty but having the ability to cool down and go and talk to your child calmly makes a world of difference. My dad has been in my face before but what sticks with me is when I can sit and talk to him about whatever it is that needs to be talked about. Like others have said, and like my dad has told me, he and my mom didnt have a clue as to what to do when I was born but it all comes naturally. Best of luck and congrats!
Call Dr. Kevorkian, no one will notice the diference...
Seriously, how much of an impact Kid(s) have depends on two things:
1) Support from family
2) How much time you are willing to spend with/without the kid(s)
Now if you don't have #1, you HAVE to spend the time with the kids, this is the position I am mostly in, and am pretty pleased. From time to time I wish I could get a 'real' break, but knowing how well bonded I am with my children is priceless.
Now if you have #1 in great supply life is golden in the sense that you have total control in how much time you have. You get time to breathe, but then you don't have as much time with the kids.
Don't worry about how good of a parent you are going to be, how diapers work or anything like that... just follow your wife's lead and you should be fine...
PS... for the first six months: NO SLEEP FOR YOU!!!
JohnKrist From Sweden, joined Jan 2005, 1401 posts, RR: 6
Reply 12, posted (8 years 6 months 4 days 20 hours ago) and read 2971 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW HEAD SUPPORT
Congrats to you! It's not a curse it's a blessing.
At 37 I had my first child, a baby girl, 2 months ago. She was 6 weeks early, so that was a bit of a scare, but all is fine.
As others have stated, fatherhood comes naturally. I have not felt ready to be a dad before, not even during the pregnancy, but now everything is working fine. And you get another feeling for your own kid, like at diaper change. I changed on my brothers kid, and it was awkward and difficult to say the least, mostly because I didn't know how to handle him. With Ava it has been no sweat since the very first time. You instantly know how to do it
What the next 20 years holds no one knows, but I hope I won't be the shotgun dad though
5D Mark III, 7D, 17-40 F4 L, 70-200 F2.8 L IS, EF 1.4x II, EF 2x III, Metz 58-AF1
Jafa39 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (8 years 6 months 4 days 20 hours ago) and read 2955 times:
Quoting DeltaGator (Thread starter): Add to that I know how perverted guys can be and I don't want to greet all prospective suitors at the door in 16 years with a shotgun
Why not? Works for me!
A word of advice, watch the birth, it'll make a Father of you, seeing a human being (well a kid anyway) come into this world just brings on those instincts and you'll never have to think about it, you'll do it naturally.
Nappies, Diapers, a breeze mate! Just don't be shy about it, get all the goop off first go, if you see nappy rash you'll feel guilty as hell.
Your life will certainly change but much as I gripe and moan about my teenagers and 20somethings...they were all cute as hell as kids and the only pity is that they grow up and get ugly and lippy!!!
Kmh1956 From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, RR: 7
Reply 14, posted (8 years 6 months 4 days 18 hours ago) and read 2939 times:
Small piece of advice. If you want to have a calm child who will sleep through anything....let the child tell you when he/she is tired or hungry. I left the hospital with my daugher (who was born a teeny preemie) and the nurse's admonition in my ear to wake her every 4 hours for a feeding. Not likely, I thought...she knows better than I do if she's hungry. (And she did let me know..trust me)
The second thing I did was the minute I got her home, I started making normal noises in the apartment....washing machine, dryer, vacuum and LOUD music.
I can safely say that this child slept through the night from day one...she'd go down at 10 or 11pm and wake up at about 6 or 7am. She went to her first air show at 6 months....the sound of jet engines made her giggle.....
The main thing is, though....DON'T PANIC! You'd be amazed at how well you adapt to fatherhood.
'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
14 years? My dad he cutting the grass by the time I was 10 at the latest. Child labor is the greatest.
Thanks again for the advice folks. A confessed child hater is on the way to becoming a dad (and it was planned) so I suppose there is hope for me yet. Now to figure out ways to ensure they are Florida Gator and Miami Dolphins fans by the time they are 2.
"If you can't delight in the misery of others then you don't deserve to be a college football fan."
Fr8Mech From United States of America, joined Sep 2005, 5603 posts, RR: 15
Reply 17, posted (8 years 6 months 4 days 14 hours ago) and read 2909 times:
Yes, life as you know it is over.
But, a new life is on the way. The best advice: ignore all advice from experts.
Let your child be your guide. If she' hungry, feed her. If she's crying hold her. If she's sleepy, for God's sake, let her sleep. Enjoy your baby, with mere moments she will be a toddler and life changes again.