Jaws707 From United States of America, joined Aug 2001, 708 posts, RR: 1 Posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1779 times:
So there is this girl that I became friends with a couple of months ago. Our parents are friends and they introduced us, and we hit it off pretty well. We talk on the phone about weekly and its usually a nice relaxed conversation, but I can't tell if she is at all interested in me besides being friends. We went out on a date where we saw a movie then had a drink about a month ago. This last weekend it was her friends Bday so I went out with the group and again it was fun. She bought me two drinks and didn't let me buy her any, so I thought that was kind of weird. Talking to her friend, she said "I've heard a lot about you, but wouldn't go into specifics." I think she is shy and kind of a homebody as I frequently call her up to hang out on the weekends, but she stays in a lot or just visits her friends. Outside of asking her out on a real date, does anyone have any suggestions on how I can gauge her interest in me? We have talked about some classic movies she hasn't seen that I have on DVD, so I am thinking about calling her up and kind of inviting myself over to watch one of these? Would you recommend this approach?
Newark777 From United States of America, joined Dec 2004, 9348 posts, RR: 33 Reply 1, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1775 times:
Quoting Jaws707 (Thread starter): so I am thinking about calling her up and kind of inviting myself over to watch one of these? Would you recommend this approach?
If you want to, just do it. You seem as though you are very nervous about asking her to even hang out.
TedTAce From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 2, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1765 times:
Quoting Jaws707 (Thread starter): We have talked about some classic movies she hasn't seen that I have on DVD, so I am thinking about calling her up and kind of inviting myself over to watch one of these? Would you recommend this approach?
ABSOLUTELY!!!! Just keep playing it cool; make sure you compliment her on her appearence when you see her. Make sure you take every chance you can to compliment her.
GQfluffy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 3, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1765 times:
The typical cliche answer; Just go with it and be yourself, if it's meant to happen, it will happen...
Honestly, it will if it's supposed to. Just let it go. If she's a home body, call her up, ask if she wants to do a movie night or something, and maybe bring something with you. Dessert, flowers, ecetera ecetera. If nothing happens from it...well...I'm not saying you're going to get laid, so don't count on it, but like no hug or a quick peck on the cheek when you leave, or if she doesn't seemed interested in seeing you again, you might have an answer. Good luck you heartbreaker...
CastleIsland From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 4, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1756 times:
Sometimes the hardest question you can try to answer is: "Is this something more than friendship?"
One way of looking at this is: are you comfortable with a woman who is obviously shy about her feelings? Are you basically the same way?
Or, "well, I can't deal with the uncertainty that I am seeing, I need someone who is more direct."
Keep in mind that if she is veiled in her interest toward you, this is possibly representative of how she IS (not necessarily a bad thing, just reality).
Personally, I prefer a blunt woman who speaks her mind. I do not like games. Now, I'm not necessarily saying that she is playing games, but uncertainty is based on one of two things: shyness/reluctance or manipulativeness.
You make the call. One is innocent, the other is not.
Mirrodie From United States of America, joined Apr 2000, 7421 posts, RR: 65 Reply 5, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1750 times:
Jaws, you got to sink your teeth into this gal and throw all caution to the wind!
What are you, Geroge McFly? c'mon?!
Take her out to a movie;
or rent a classic movie, invite yourserlf over and make her dinner.
If nothing happens after that, you have your answer.
If she lives with her parents and you want some alone time, go for a day out, pack a picnic basket, hit the zoo and then a park afterwards. Water, Wine, fruit, maybe grapes, maybe cheese....Personally the wine and fruit and maybe sandwiches is good, the cheese is overkill. Wine is always good for every occasion.
Now, I said zoo b/c I know that was what my wife liked when we dated. But what is she into? Nascar? The Cubs? Skydiving? Find out her likes and get creative. Amusement park perhaps? Gardens, Museums?
...you know, reading woman is great. It is a great game and there is so much sexual energy in there. Laugh a bit and get a good look at her eyes. Does she laugh like one of your friends or is she laughing and keeping her eyes on you? how is the eye contact? I felt I was always able to tell that way.
THinking back, I dunno, dude, if I had to wonder whether she was interested, I usually lost interest. And then suddenly their interest skyrocketed and they wanted me. And I am serious, not sure if anyone else can relate to that.
Any uncomfortable silences? Did you kiss her on your first date? And why not? How did you leave off? a handshake? cheek? hug? back seat romance?
There is hte funny approach,....next time you see her, laugh and over the course of a drink, tell her how you have a quarter inch killer and that if she is looking for bigger, she better look elsewhere. Then watch how she laughs. But can you pay off that kind of joke? How shy is shy? Can you talk to her about anything?
I remember one date over some club sandwiches at the diner and within an hour, we were talking about how much she loved giving and performing oral sex. And I responded with how much I loved receiving it. To this day, not sure how the discussion transcended to that within an hour but it really told me heaps of info about this gal. I mean, how did I read her and get the conversation there? No clue to this day.
There is always the direct approach, "Hey, is this something that could go somewhere?" Casual and yet non confrontational, rather than, "You dig me?"
Have fun. Remember, half the fun is the chase!
And after my many pearls of wisdom, I expect you to keep us posted.
One last bit...she told her friends about you....could be a great thing or a bad thing.... but the fact that she invited you out with her friends bday and told them about you is a good thing.
have fun, take a shot on gaol and sink your jaws into the experience!
[Edited 2006-06-15 06:44:42]
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Mirrodie From United States of America, joined Apr 2000, 7421 posts, RR: 65 Reply 6, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1738 times:
Castle Island makes good points too.
doesnt seem like she is playing games. I think he and I have some experience to know what we like. Perhaps you don't yet and figuring it out with this gal might help to that end.
good point.
Ah, the thrill of the hunt. This is a great time for you two perhaps!
Forum moderator 2001-2010; He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless st
UnattendedBag From United States of America, joined Oct 2003, 2240 posts, RR: 1 Reply 7, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1737 times:
Nosedive From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 9, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 1691 times:
Quoting LOT767-300ER (Reply 8): Give me her mobile # and your name and Ill ask her, We both live in Chicago so I could mediate *coughs* your predicament.
ZKSUJ From New Zealand, joined May 2004, 6937 posts, RR: 10 Reply 13, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 1639 times:
Good luck.
Learn from mistakes of others (myself included) and do things which you will not regret in the future. Timidness at times like these can make you look back later on and say things like 'if only...', or 'It could be this way...'
EasternSon From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 660 posts, RR: 1 Reply 17, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 17 hours ago) and read 1581 times:
Be the guy in the rated R movie. Short of being an ass, let her know you're interested. Take her to a romantic dinner, make lots of eye contact, tell her how pretty she is, ask her lots of questions about herself and shut up and listen to the answers. You'll know by the end of the night if she's interested in a relationship.
Let her know you're interested before it's too late. If you keep moping around and wondering, you'll definitely end up being friends, whether you want to or not.
"The only people for me are the mad ones...." Jack Kerouac
Zkpilot From New Zealand, joined Mar 2006, 4739 posts, RR: 10 Reply 18, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 16 hours ago) and read 1549 times:
Take her out somewhere nice... I dunno have a picnic or something... and just say that you'd like to be more than just a friend. If she says no well then you know and just be cool and be friends. If she says yes then problem solved buddy.
Jaws707 From United States of America, joined Aug 2001, 708 posts, RR: 1 Reply 19, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 15 hours ago) and read 1534 times:
Thanks for the input everyone. The reason I have been a little more timid with her is because our parents are friends, and I guess I feel more pressure trying to impress everyone. She is a little quiet and that makes it more difficult. I am really social, but when I ask her "So what did you do this last week besides work?" and sometimes she says "nothing" or "not much" that makes it hard, but she is really nice, cute, smart, and we have simmilar values that makes her worth persuing.
I do not yet have a picture to put up, but with any luck her and I may hang out this weekend and maybe a picture shortly thereafter.
Thesorcerer From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2005, 1047 posts, RR: 0 Reply 20, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 1514 times:
Quoting Jaws707 (Thread starter): "I've heard a lot about you, but wouldn't go into specifics."
I don't consider this a sign of someone fancying me. Hear it all the time when i meet a friend's friend.
Dominic
ALITALIA,All Landings In Torino, All Luggage In Athens ;)
Aerobalance From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 4634 posts, RR: 51 Reply 21, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 13 hours ago) and read 1504 times:
Mirrodie From United States of America, joined Apr 2000, 7421 posts, RR: 65 Reply 22, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 1451 times:
Quoting Jaws707 (Reply 19): Thanks for the input everyone. The reason I have been a little more timid with her is because our parents are friends, and I guess I feel more pressure trying to impress everyone. She is a little quiet and that makes it more difficult. I am really social, but when I ask her "So what did you do this last week besides work?" and sometimes she says "nothing" or "not much" that makes it hard, but she is really nice, cute, smart, and we have simmilar values that makes her worth persuing.
I do not yet have a picture to put up, but with any luck her and I may hang out this weekend and maybe a picture shortly thereafter.
1. similar values are good but that you are extrovert and shes an introvert could make thisngs interesting.
2. For hte love of God, dont tell her you belong to this community of ex-cons!!
3. do not post a picture of her.
So what d you have in mind this weekend? one thing that some people are saying here is don't wait. either chase her and get your answer or be more direct. But hte longer you wait, the more friendship settles in.,
Forum moderator 2001-2010; He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless st
EasternSon From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 660 posts, RR: 1 Reply 23, posted (6 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 1440 times:
Yes, if there's one thing you can gather from this post it's that you should not wait.
To quote some dead guy who was probably drunk on an opiate:
"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may."
Or was it Urkel who said that?
"The only people for me are the mad ones...." Jack Kerouac
Mirrodie From United States of America, joined Apr 2000, 7421 posts, RR: 65 Reply 24, posted (6 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 1352 times:
so Jaws, what happened man? After all this advice, we want to know that you are getting the job done
Forum moderator 2001-2010; He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless st
25 David L: Yeah, good advice. Before you do anything else, ask her if you can take her picture and you'll get back to her in a few days.
26 San747: VERY good advice, which I wish I had followed. I have lost oppurtunities with some great girls due to my timidness. It's all about self-confidence...
27 GQfluffy: Yup. I almost lost out on my current girlfriend cuz I didn't know what to do...luckily enough for me...one night she just came up to me, chewed my as
28 HAWK21M: Take the Initiative.Don't Loose an Opportunity.It might never come again. regds MEL
29 BaylorAirBear: That reminds me of the joke: Why do girls have little bumps around their nipples? BAB
30 ZKSUJ: So... a) How did it go??? or b) What are you going to do??? SUJ
31 TedTAce: It's been a week... Inquiring minds want to know!!!
33 Rolfen: Listen, I dont have the whole picture and god knows how wrong I can be with girls, but from my limited experience, it seems you're trying to build som
34 Jaws707: Well last Saturday I called her up at about 5pm to see if she wanted to watch a movie, but she didnt answer and I ended up leaving a voicemail. I sugg
35 Rolfen: You didnt tell us yet how you feel about her and what you want from her.
39 SATX: Hey, at least you tried. We get far too many "what should I do" threads and not nearly enough "you'll never believe this!" threads.
40 Jaws707: So I thought I would come back online and update this thing again. We had a great time at the wedding, did some dancing and it was fun. On the 4th we
41 GQfluffy: Eh, don't read too much into it... Thats when you ignore her and just pay for it, or rip it out of her hand playful-like...duh...
42 EasternSon: Jawsy, while the beach is a great idea, a day date is not a date. Make sure this girl knows you're interested. Make it romantic. Go to a nice restaura
43 ZKSUJ: Yeap. Either that or she may just be an independsant girl. I know a few girls that still pay for most of their things (i.e food etc...) even when the
44 Thatplaneguy: Just a thought! Have you asked her about past Bfs? How was she treated by them? Might be a reason why she does not want you to pay for everything. She
45 Comorin: Jaws, put yourself in her shoes: 1. She too realizes that parents are friends, so she has to tread carefully. If things dont work out, it will be very
46 Jap: Well, she hasn't told you to p*ss off yet, so that's a good sign... ask her on a date- if she says no, then you know she's not really interested in be
47 Rolfen: Dont push dont push dont push Listen to the Doors: "Take it easy baby, take it nice and slow, dont moove too fast, eeeh you want your love to last"
48 Aircraft: I'll give you one important bit of advice about women. If you can't tell exactly what they're thinking, give 'em a good swift kick in the leg. The an
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