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It Really Makes Me Want To Spit  
User currently offline53Sqdn From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (8 years 3 weeks 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 1739 times:

Listening to and watching radio/TV in the UK in the afternoon. The blinking adverts. I really could put it in 'basic' terms but!

'If you've had an accident contact (whichever company) it's all free..'

There are people dying all over the World. For just blurrr pence a day you could help.

For your car,home,contents, pet(?) insurance contact (whichever)

If you have dandruff use 'Lead and Boulders' and put Dove on your skin. Like, I want a bird fluttering on my face????

Got that bloated feeling? Try the new deluxe tablet, drink, from (whichever).

Try a bleeding tube up yer backside and squeeze. Cue smile

 boggled 

Finally, we have numerous adverts for loans. Anything from a pound (not really) to whatever we can get you into debt for.

Looking at all the things I need/should help with, provide cover for, I need to borrow £1000,000.

On second thoughts, I think I'll just pop down the coast and jump into the...

Bouncy castle at Poole.

What!

Did you think I'd do meself in.

Noooo! Life's too precious and I'm already loaded.

Now where did I put that detonator

 bomb 

Rant (more like rabid) over  bigthumbsup 

11 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8684 posts, RR: 43
Reply 1, posted (8 years 3 weeks 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 1714 times:

It's OK... just call XYZ psychotherapists at 1-800-FREAKIN-NUTS for a FREE trial session if you experience this kind of emotional stress again.  Wink


Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineMyt332 From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2003, 9112 posts, RR: 71
Reply 2, posted (8 years 3 weeks 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 1710 times:

That's actually a pretty dam accurate account of the adverts!

My personal favourite is 'The Pi Helpline' which is advertised by some fat bloke rambling on about something or other. The 'Pi' stands for Personal Injury but I originally thought it was the 'Pie Helpline'. Makes more sense to me!

Quoting 53Sqdn (Thread starter):
Like, I want a bird fluttering on my face????

Nah, most of them around these there parts don't either. Sad



One Life, Live it.
User currently offlineMhodgson From United Kingdom, joined Dec 2002, 5047 posts, RR: 25
Reply 3, posted (8 years 3 weeks 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 1706 times:

Just be thankful you aren't in the US, where there are even more adverts per hour! Additionally, everything that can be sponsored on TV is, so that on ESPN you get the 'KIA Half time report' on a TV programme sponsored by Budweiser and Cingular among others!


No trees were harmed by this message. However, several million electrons were terribly inconvenienced
User currently offlineABfemme From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (8 years 3 weeks 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 1695 times:

Have you guys seen the spin off of the Citroen ad where the grilled breakfast - egg, bacon, fried bread etc does the dance then splats onto the plate ?? Brilliant!!

User currently offlineMetalInyoni From South Africa, joined Oct 2005, 257 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (8 years 3 weeks 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 1689 times:

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 2):
My personal favourite is 'The Pi Helpline' which is advertised by some fat bloke rambling on about something or other. The 'Pi' stands for Personal Injury but I originally thought it was the 'Pie Helpline'. Makes more sense to me!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha



Money doesn't make you happy but I would rather cry in a BMW than on public transport.
User currently offlineMhodgson From United Kingdom, joined Dec 2002, 5047 posts, RR: 25
Reply 6, posted (8 years 3 weeks 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 1689 times:



It's making me hungry  Sad



No trees were harmed by this message. However, several million electrons were terribly inconvenienced
User currently offlineCornish From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2005, 8187 posts, RR: 54
Reply 7, posted (8 years 3 weeks 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 1689 times:

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 2):
but I originally thought it was the 'Pie Helpline'.

Perhaps you could pass the number on to JGP...... Big grin



Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
User currently offlineABfemme From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (8 years 3 weeks 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 1672 times:

Quoting 53Sqdn (Thread starter):
Now where did I put that detonator

"YOU BUY ONE you GET ONE FREE, YOU BUY ONE you GET ONE FREE "

Need I say more........ What a moron...



User currently offlineAsstChiefMark From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (8 years 3 weeks 6 days ago) and read 1629 times:

The Brits are lucky. They don't have to put up with that Billy Mays guy. He yells during the whole commercial.

http://www.atmospheric-violence.com/mays/

Then there's that Matthew Lesko: http://www.lesko.com/allnewLesko/tvads/lesko23mg.mpeg


User currently offlineMhodgson From United Kingdom, joined Dec 2002, 5047 posts, RR: 25
Reply 10, posted (8 years 3 weeks 6 days ago) and read 1621 times:

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 9):
They don't have to put up with that Billy Mays guy.

Or adverts for pharmaceuticals!



No trees were harmed by this message. However, several million electrons were terribly inconvenienced
User currently offlineTexan From New Zealand, joined Dec 2003, 4272 posts, RR: 52
Reply 11, posted (8 years 3 weeks 6 days ago) and read 1604 times:

Quoting Mhodgson (Reply 10):
Or adverts for pharmaceuticals!

But without them how would I have known that I have rheumatoid arthritis, migraines, gum disease, enlarged prostate, small penis, ulcers, poison ivy, jaundice, measles, chicken pox, labor pains, menstrual cramps, and acute hearing loss? Of course, once I learned all this I became depressed, which triggered my allergies and hypoglycemia. So I got my prescriptions, but was having trouble reading them so I went out and had Lasik surgery at the Boothe Eyecare and Laser Center. They screwed it up, but I remembered a couple of lawyers around town: Brian Loncar, one call that's all; and Jim Adler, the Texas hammer. So I called them with my personal injury claim, settled out of court, and then bought a new house on Lake Lewisville in a new, exciting community! It has to be since that's what they said on tv! And now I'm claritin clear, have a big boost of confidence, am putting on a happy face, and am doing much better. Of course, I do have some mild side effects that include diarreah, blood loss, fatigue, leperosy, dry mouth, headaches, joint pain, burning in the genital area, constipation, a heart murmur, liver cancer, nausea, and an aversion to midgets, but those are manageable according to the new ads I just saw! Thank goodness for tv and modern medicine!

Well, I have to go now. Nike just came out with some new soccer shoes that will allow me to play with Beckam, Ronaldo, Drogba, Henry, Adu, and others according to their commercial. And thanks to my new H2, financed through ditech.com, I'm going places. Like McDonald's. Da da da da da, I'm lovin' it.

Texan



"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library."
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